As I sat staring out of the passenger window, I contemplated why I allowed my brother to convince me to return home. I think and maybe it was for the best but there was a good reason I chose to leave for as long as I did. Maybe the help is what I need but I really don't wanna be here if it means being close to him again. The closer we got to my hometown, the more I began to think. Think about how much of a love hate relationship with this place. I loved it, but hated it even more. Such bad memories the last two years I was home, before I left for college.
"You with me, darlin'?" My dads's deep voice snapped me back to reality.
"Oh, yeah, sorry, what were you saying?"
"I was sayin' your momma and brother are excited to have you back. They've missed you ya know."
"I know, I just... you know why I haven't been back and why I've asked yall to come visit me."
"I understand, but we just miss having you around, even holidays." I listened to the sadness in his words and began to put just a little. I did miss home, our home and that was about it. Nothing else here gave me happiness after leaving. I always loved my home town, it brought me peace. Wyoming is such a beautiful state so, why do I hate it so much you ask? Criston James Cails...
I left my home, my peace because I couldn't handle being around him let alone the same town as him and chance running into each other. The sight of him made me wanna vomit until I had nothing left in me to give. He took everything and gave nothing in return, and I was too young and naive or just stupid in love to realize how much of a horrible person he truly was. Or maybe that was just my thoughts or opinion of him. The people in our town seemed to think ever so highly of him because of the family he comes from and all of the wonderful work he does for the community. Last I heard he was running for Mayor. Tuh!
"Do you think we can just go straight home? I kinda don't want anyone knowin' I'm back yet."
"You mean you don't want that Mr. Cails knowin you're back."
"Daddy..."
"Okay, well we need to get your prescription from the pharmacy, do we not?"
"I'm not getting out of the car."
"Aww, don't wanna spend a little time grocery shopping with your old man like you used to?" I shot him a quirky smile, I knew he was just pushing my buttons but I had to give him a little push back. I've always had a great relationship with my father, we've always been very open. My mom, not so much but we're still close. My brother and mom get along as well as me and my dad. I guess you can say I'm daddy's little princess and he's a momma's boy. He didn't necessarily act like the typical but deep in his heart, he is.
"Daddy, I'm gonna wait in the car."
"That's fine baby girl."
We pulled into the town's little grocery store and my father parked the truck and ran in to get my medication. I pulled out my phone to send my best friend a text. Aside from my family, she's the only one in this town that knows I'm back. Oh, and my physical therapist. You see, I had an accident at school that ruined quite literally everything I worked so hard for since I was a little girl. Long story short, I decided to come home to start rehab and other therapies so I wasn't alone. I didn't wanna, it just made more sense so I had more support here than in a different state.
As I said, my family is really close. My dad would do anything to make sure I was okay. After my accident, he never left my side until it was time for me to come back home. I was grateful and thankful for him. I know some people would give anything for a parent to care about them as much as mine care about myself and my brother.
"Let's get movin, bits."
"God dad, really, bits? You haven't called me that since I was a kid."
"Ah, figured you're back home and momma and daddy are takin care of you again, might as well be my little girl again."
"Jesus stop!" I said slamming my face into my palm as he let out a laugh. I couldn't wait to see my mother and brother again. One thing about my family, we're close. My parents didn't have a "favorite" child, I always saw them both treat us just as equal. My brother on the other hand, was like my second dad. Always hovering, always ready to pounce when someone made me cry.
I never hated it, I didn't particularly like having an extremely protective brother but there were moments where I'm glad he cared enough about my well-being. I wouldn't ask for our relationship to be any other way.
Two Weeks Later
"Oh come on Aria, really?" I shouted as I crossed my arms.
"Yes, I'm dead freakin serious! You been cooped up in this damn house for the last what, two or three weeks. Ugh, I wanna have some fun with my best friend!"
"I'll think about it but I have no guarantees, Aria."
"I'll take it, it's better than you saying no. Let me see what you have in this bedroom you call a damn closet." I hadn't even given her a final answer yet and she's already trying to decide for me what I'm going to wear. If this doesn't describe Aria perfectly, then oh boy!
"So, how's life?"
"I swear to heavens if you ask about my brother, I will strangle you."
"I wasn't, trust me I want absolutely nothing to do with him."
"Good. And just so you know he's riding tonight so he'll be in the pits."
"Of course. It's bad enough everyone knows I'm back but-"
"Don't worry, I won't let him bother you. I'll kick his shins in if he even thinks about it." She interrupted me with her hands on her hips. What can I say, she's my spitfire best friend.
"If I go Aria, you're not to leave me alone, please." I say, giving her a death stare.
"Wanna hold my hand while I pee?" She said laughing while letting out a snort.
"Go away so I can get ready."
"Pee sissy's for life!" She truly knew how to make me laugh, even when my anxiety was trying to kick my ass. She was right though, I did need to get out of the house. The longer I sit here and dwell on things and wallow in my own self pity, I'm never going to leave. I've always loved the rodeo since I was a kid, even though I was afraid to get back on my own horse. See, my father owns the land and the arena so I was always there every weekend. Aria would tag along with her father, who used to rideback in the day. People used to call us the Rivermoore twins; the arena's name is Rivermoore.
I began to get ready, looking at myself at every angle. I wasn't completely happy with how I looked, I tried to cover up a little but the scars are still visible. Great, just what I needed was to explain where these came from. My accident took away my self love. I know I'll eventually learn to embrace them, but I'm struggling to do my best.
"Hey, chika, remember beauty isn't tied to the surface.You're the most amazing person I've ever known, your gorgeousness is an added bonus." Aria says, giving me a smiling wink. I looked at myself one last time to make sure I liked how I looked and we left.
To say I was nervous to be around crowds of people again would be a complete understatement. Crowds are what got me into this mess in the first place, but I know eventually I'll need to leave the house and do shopping on my own, or just go out in general. The best place to start would I guess be, my little home town. The drive to the arena felt like it took hours, time felt like it was moving slowly and I began to get more nervous. It wasn't just the crowd, it was also seeing my ex-boyfriend. He truly is the last person I wanna see, I know once he spots Aria, it's game over.
"Earth to JayJay!"
"Sorry I kinda dissociated a bit."
"Understandable. You ready?"
"As I'll ever be I guess."
"Hey, you've got me and your brother and dad are here too. Everything is alright."
We made our way to our seats, I began nervously rubbing my arm. People were looking at me, pointing, smiling, whispering. Probably wondering what I was doing back home, why I left home, why was I here? Whatever who cares I promised myself I'd do my best not to let them get to me. I put my head down to take a deep breath and lifted to exhale and that's when I noticed him; Dominic Black. Holy SHIT! Seeing him made my nervousness heighten and a panic attack began to set in as our eyes met. The last time I had seen him was before I left at my going away dinner.
"That's Dominic, isn't it?" I asked Aria.
"Honey, don't even think about it. He screwed you over and made your ass cry. We let men go who make us cry, don't forget that."
"Aria! You act like he was my cheatin ass boyfriend or somethin. And besides..." I paused to take in how much he's changed, how different he was, how... sexy he looked. "I have no interest in him."
"Mhmm, good. My best friend isn't gonna be thrown into the same category as these damn buckle bunnies who constantly chase his ass. Ugh, he's a dog!"
"He's a dog" rang through my head, it's none of my business what he does on his own time. But one thing Aria was and will always be right about; we don't waste our time on men who toss woman to the side after they get what they want. I never pictured Dominic being this type of person. Years have gone by, anyone can change their attitude, morals etc in a day. She may not be wrong and that's what upsets me. Dominic was always loving and caring, I'll always remember him being a protector so this is a bit of a shock to me.
As he sat on his bull in the pen, he gave me a quick glance, I shot him back a smile and nodded my head down. This was to remind him to focus. Criston currently held the lead, this was the last round, and I know Dominic currently holds the city title and he's a fighter. Doesn't back down and his nature is extremely competitive. He and Criston have been title battlin for about eight years now, amongst other things.
The bell rang and out they went. I sat nervously, hopin' and prayin' he stays on this bull long enough to take the lead, because if so, he wins the title he's always fought so hard for. Unlike Criston who comes and goes from the rodeo as he pleases. I looked over to see Criston and the town dingbat flirting loudly. Adelaide, the ultimate buckle bunny. Rumor is, she's slept with all the arena boys, and only arena boys. The ones that come and go and the ones who've stayed and made a name for themselves here. I'm not one to judge someone on their sex life, but that just explains how bad she wants herself a cowboy. She just hasn't learned they all have one love in their life: the arena.
"Well, 'bestie' wins yet again!"
"Why do you not sound happy?"
"Oh come one we've been watchin' him sweep everybody out of the top spot."
"That's the point, you hear the crowd? They love him, stop being a hater."
"Whatever, I'm goin' to get a drink, want somethin'?"
"Sure Ari, just no liquor please?" She got up and walked over to the bar concession. I watched as Dominic shook hands with my dad and his sponsors. I looked over again at Criston and Adelaide, I couldn't help but wonder if they were datin' with how cozy the two of them looked. Criston noticed I was watchin' them and shot me a smile and wink. I kinda sat frozen with an awkward look on my face. He seemed to have excused himself from his conversation and made his way over to where I was seated.
"Goddamnint." I say under my breath.
"Well, if it ain't the most gorgeous girl to walk in and walk out of my life."
"Oh lordy, what the hell do you want?"
"Oh come on baby, I just wanted to see how you've been. It's been a long time." Never rolled my eyes so damn hard.
"Criston, I'm fine. Life is great and has been so much better since I left."
"You sayin' you haven't missed me?" He seemed to look over my shoulder at something, probably to see how pissed Adelaide is because he came to talk to me.
"No, absolutely not." I snapped back harshly.
"Even when I did this?" He said, tickling me in my favorite spot forcing me to let out a laugh. "I know I'm the only person who can make you laugh like this."
"And your point is?" I said, trying to catch my breath.
"Let me remind you of all the good times we had together babe. Give me another chance."
"Criston, no because I gave you chances and you ruined your chance to have anymore."
"You'll see you're making a mistake."
"The only mistake she made was being with you, dickhead!" Aria says, coming up from behind me.
"For once would you mind your damn business, AJ." Criston smiles. I knew I should've stepped in but at this point, calling her AJ, it was too late and world war three was about to take off.
"Don't. You. Call. Me. That... EVER AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Aria shouted, pointing her index finger directly in Criston's face.
"You ain't nothin but a big ass baby, fuckin' brat!"
"Oh look who's talkin', mother fucker I'll kick ya damn shins in and then you'll never be able to ride again."
"I fuckin' dare you, try it and see what dad does to you this time."
"You think I'm so damn worried about what daddy thinks?" I walked away slowly and quietly as the two of them continued to argue. The two of them together are like fire and ice. Aria is the fire and Criston is the ice, she'll forever be the one to put him on his ass he's so damn afraid of her. If I'm being honest, all men are afraid of her. She's extremely headstrong but Criston can really only blame himself for how she is. He used to pick on her all the time when we were kids. One day she got tired of his shit and decked him in the face and kicked him while he was down.
I hadn't realized I was so deep in thought, that I was wandering the parking lot like a lost puppy. I'm sure Aria and Criston were still arguing, or at least at this point, dukin' it out in the stands if either of our fathers hadn't broken them up by now. I pulled out and looked at my phone, yeah they're definitely still inside. No missed calls, no texts. Ugh, how was I going to get home? I facepalmed myself coming to the conclusion I was going to have to go back and ride home, listening to Aria bitch and scream about her brother. It's one thing to listen to her bitch about him but her squeaky little voice gets so high pitched when she's yelling, it's ear piercing like nails on a chalkboard. I sucked in a breath and started my way back and I was dreading this drive home. But it's like momma always said, a star will come knocking when you need it most...
"Need a ride, beautiful?" Dominic Black, always to the rescue.