Erin was relieved to wake up alone. She was still undressed and overwhelmed with confusion. She was also incredibly sore, her body ached in ways it never had before.
She had slept with Julian, and not in a platonic way, either—she'd had sex with Julian. Erin randomly reminded herself of it aloud, still trying to wrap her head around the events from last night.
From the time she woke up, while in the shower, while brushing her teeth—Erin still couldn't believe that she'd had sex with Julian.
It wasn't just the sex that had Erin distracted; she had reached an unexpected pinnacle point during the performance. It seemed to come out of nowhere, a crescendo that eventually detonated—shattering her insides.
Julian had made Erin come... hard.
She wasn't herself during that full minute of absolute ecstasy. The ways in which her body convulsed had been unnatural. Picturing herself through Julian's eyes in that moment triggered intense discomfort that made her cringe.
As she started to float down from the peak, Erin recalled questioning if the condom had broke. She felt a warm secreting fluid spilling out between them, oozing down her backside.
The good news was that it didn't break—Jules hadn't come yet. The bad news was that it didn't break—it was (embarrassingly) all her.
While coming back down, the ascension started to build up again. Luckily, the shattering of her insides the second time around wasn't as intense as the first time—Julian didn't last much longer.
Erin had started to make a confession, but retreated from the idea when Julian had told her that she was pretty.
She didn't want Jules to know—she didn't like the thought of him having more power than he already had.
Jules knew that Erin had come—she couldn't exactly deny that; but what he didn't know, was that he had been the first to achieve it.
There wasn't any particular reason as to why—it was simply sex. She wasn't contorted into some unusual position, the rhythm of his hips hadn't moved in a specific fashion—the pace of his thrusts pushing into hers was actually quite typical.
Perhaps it was because his body melted perfectly into hers; perhaps it was the way he kissed her, or maybe because of the way he had looked at her.
Erin couldn't be too sure, but she saw something settle in his eyes.
Jules looked at Erin as if she were the most incredible thing he had ever had the privilege to touch. He peered down at her with an intensity she had never seen before—like she was the most important thing in the world—as if she were his entire world.
Erin forced the memory of that look out of her mind by keeping herself busy. She cleaned up the apartment, being sure to strip Albert's bed first for a planned trip to the cleaners.
No matter what Erin did to take her mind off it, Julian still managed to creep up into her thoughts.
He had left sometime before she awoke—his whereabouts unknown. Jules didn't leave a note, or have the courtesy to tell her where he was going.
Erin would never admit it, but Julian's undisclosed departure filled her with mortifying dread. The uncertainty of how Julian felt about the events from last night loomed over her like a dark cloud.
She was nervous, fearful of Julian's regret. He would never admit it either, which drove Erin insane.
Jules had a particular way about him—avoidance. He hardly ever expressed himself in regards to his own emotional turmoil; he kept those thoughts to himself. When it came to others, however, he was pedantically brazen—unapologetically blunt.
Erin hated it.
...but she also loved it.
Julian was honest, selfless—he was analytically observant. He thought things thoroughly through before making decisions—paying close attention to all details.
Erin hated it.
...but she also loved it.
The sound of keys on the other side of the apartment door sent Erin into a frenzy. She quickly poised herself on the sofa, readjusting her clothes to hide any exposed marks.
Julian entered the apartment, lifting two duffel bags from the stoop. He hadn't noticed Erin on the couch—nor the wide eyed gape she was giving her possessions in his grasp.
Erin's gaze shifted between Julian and her things; he dropped the items to the floor and closed the door.
She watched as he fiddled with a set of keys, removing one of them from the ring and slipping it into his pocket.
She continued to observe in confusion—wondering what Jules was doing with her keys.
"What did you do?" Erin asked softly in disbelief.
Julian's kind soft eyes quickly darted to Erin on the sofa—he didn't realize she had been sitting there.
Jules cleared his throat, "I got your stuff back." He said, not enjoying that particular look of horror etched on her face. "I also picked up your car—here's your keys."
Erin looked to Julian completely dumbfounded as he handed her the set of keys—without eye contact. His knuckles weren't bruised or busted, his face was free of any signs of a scuffle.
"How did you get my stuff back?"
"I just went over there and got it." Julian shrugged; he picked up her bags and started out of the room.
Erin stood from the couch, quick on her feet to follow him. He led her into his bedroom, dropping her bags by the door. Her brows furrowed curiously, wondering why he hadn't put her things in Albert's room.
"How did you know where he lived?" Asked Erin.
"Why does it matter?" Julian tried mimicking her expression; it was laced with incredulous vexation. He didn't appreciate her skepticism, and didn't like that he was jumping to his own defense.
As Nick had so eloquently put it, Julian was 'fucking insane.' He was beginning to see that now through Erin's beautiful wide eyed stare.
"I called Al." Julian admitted. "I didn't want you thinking about goin back over there-"
"I wasn't gonna go back there, I already told you I wasn't getting my stuff back-"
"So I got your stuff back- I got it back so you wouldn't be tempted to go back over there to get it." Julian confessed.
"I never would've been tempted—trust me."
"You say that now, but I know eventually you would've been brave enough to try—thinking he's at work, or outta town. I could just see you goin over there and..." Julian trailed, pressing his lips together to spare Erin the grizzly scene intrusively invading his thoughts.
"I'm sorry—I did it for my own sanity... that was selfish."
Without hesitation, Erin wrapped her arms around him. She pulled herself into his torso, burying her face into his chest.
"So, um... are you hugging me right now, or are you trying to kill me?—It's really hard to tell... kinda feels like you're tryin to crush me."
"I'm so sorry." Erin laughed softly through the constriction of her throat, releasing the tightness of her grip. "Thank you."
Julian smiled, pushing her hair away from her face as he looked into her eyes. A strange heaviness washed over him as he studied her features.
"You're more than welcome."
He thought about kissing her, but didn't want Erin to believe that it was something he was entitled to for doing what he did.
"What did he say?" Erin asked, wiping away a stray tear rolling down her cheek.
"Nothing, really." Julian tensed. It wasn't a lie, Michael hadn't said anything—Michael wasn't there.
Julian had thought about breaking down the door when no one answered. Just when everyone had convinced Jules to give up, he remembered that he had Erin's keys—he got in on the first try.
Erin's bags were already by the door, her things already packed as if she were trying to leave. The apartment was in shambles—complete and utter disarray.
There were holes in the walls, couch cushions in the floor, and open liquor bottles setting out all around.
The guy had obviously been on a bender; whether or not it had begun before or after Erin had managed to get out, Julian wasn't sure.
He checked the bedroom, expecting Michael to be passed out—but he wasn't there.
Jules considered ransacking the place, but it was clear that Michael had already done that. Julian instead dispersed of all the alcohol in the apartment... into Michael's bed.
It was a petty thing to do, sure; but it was the only thing he could think of in the moment, aside from pissing in the guy's bed—which Nikolai and Nick refused to let him do.
"So he just... gave you my stuff?" Erin looked to Julian with sweet, innocent eyes. He didn't want that look to change, so he shrugged with a nod.
"I'm gonna go change and then head to the laundry mat—do you need anything?"
Julian shook his head. "Wait—why are you goin there?"
"I have to, um... Al's bed?" Erin blushed, backtracking out of the bedroom.
Julian laughed, shifting his eyes to the floor bashfully, matching Erin's timid wince.
"Right... yeah." He rubbed his face, pinching the bridge of his nose with tightly closed eyes. "I can go to the mat—I'll get em washed." Julian insisted.
"I wanted to drive my car, but you're more than welcome to come with me."
Julian nodded with smiling eyes, more than happy to accompany her. He was mostly glad that she had invited him—he wanted nothing more than Erin's time.
Erin started to kiss Julian's cheek. He quickly moved his head toward her lips, catching the side of her lips.
She smiled sheepishly, ripping her gaze away from his beautifully laden eyes.
She wanted to kiss him—she wanted him to kiss her; but the fear of where a kiss might lead stopped Erin from giving in.
If Erin found herself beneath Julian again, she could no longer deny it—she would end up in love with him.