Davina's pov
September 4th, 1:00p.m.
I'm pretty sure I'm day dreaming, because here I am. Here he is. I'm being proposed to. By the first person I ever grew to love, outside of my fucked up family. I won't lie. I never saw this day coming for me. I thought for sure I'd be dead by at least sixteen. I thought when I lost him, that was it. I figured since he left once, he'd leave again. The only difference now, is he has a choice. He has complete control over what he does now.. and he's here. With me. He chose me and that baffles me. I can only assume that this could only end badly, because everything else has.. but right now? Nothing could go wrong. I've got everyone here. Everyone that matters anyway.. and that's more than I can say about any other point of my life. Being alone is the only thing that used to keep me comfortable. Then, I wandered into Willow's life, causing havoc in everyone's life immediately after. They love me though, and that's the best thing anyone could do now. Is love me, because I've never been loved by anyone but the people surrounding me in this very moment. And that? Gives me enough reason to want to be alive and not just live.
My heart is pounding when I see him get down on one knee. My eyes grow blurry when I hear Willow squeal happily. My lips form into a smile when Xander cheers obnoxiously loud. "I KNEW YOU BITCHES WOULD GET MARRIED! I CALLED THAT SHIT FEOM THE START!" Willow jumps up and down as she pulls her phone out and starts to take photos. I laugh quietly as I hear everything going on.. but my eyes are on his. His bright green eyes that are filled with nothing but love. His gaze is soft and sweet, his head is tilted, and his dimples are on display as he wears his beautiful smile. Time around us seems to be frozen. Xander gives him a ring box and he opens it up, displaying the gorgeous ring I've seen only once before. It's beautiful, it's silver, and it's simple. I love that he knows what I like. I love that he and Willow probably went and got this together. I love that Xander and I got to spend that time together whenever they did. I love everything about this moment. The ring. The people involved. I love it all. Especially the man kneeling before me. Even knowing who I am and what comes with me. He's kneeling before me and asking me to be his forever. No matter the obstacles of which we've encountered. He wants me.
"Davina Faye." He grins as he takes a hold of my hand. Placing a soft kiss along my knuckles. "I remember when we made a promise to never leave each other's sides. It was the year before I had no choice but to leave you. My mom, she said if it's something that is meant to be, it'll be. Though, I didn't understand it when I was young, I understand now. She said if you want something bad enough, to let it go. And if it comes back, it's yours forever. Now here we are.." I put a hand to my mouth and fight off the happy tears trying to fall. Him doing the same by the looks of it. "The moment I realized it was you was one of the best moments in my life. The moment I remembered everything we went through together, realizing that it didn't go to waste. It was at that moment that I knew I was keeping you forever. The same moment I felt like love wasn't just a word.. My mom would be thrilled to see such a thing. Me kneeling before you. She'd laugh in my face at the amount of times I rolled my eyes at your name. She would love to see how perfect this turned out.." His lip trembles at the mentions of his mother, but he smiles through every word. "She knew it was you from the start.. and I hope she's seeing this from wherever she is.. Davina. You are the love of my life, and I want nothing but you until my last breath." I hear sniffles behind me and beside me, but I pay attention to him and him only. "So with that being said.." He wraps an arm around my hips and pulls me closer. "Will you marry me?" His face is just an inch from my stomach, his glistening eyes still on mine.
I let out a mix of a laugh and a sob, taking a quick look at my best friends. Willow looks at me with a beautiful smile and tears falling down her face. She tilts her head and nods the slightest, her lips trembling as she moves next to Xander and snaps more pictures. Xander though? He looks like he's relieved. He looks happier than usual, but also like he may have been holding his breath for too long. He has tears streaming down his face, as if he knows something I don't. I turn my head back to Kayson whose eyes have not strayed away from me. And I nod, I say 'yes' repeatedly, I drop to my knees so our lips can meet. In this very moment is when I finally see a purpose in staying here. For our kids. For him. For us. For the two people standing next to us.. and to prove to everyone that I'm not the weak little girl I was before.
Kayson pulls my hand to his lips and kisses the ring finger one last time before putting the ring on. Then, as if we were too busy with each other for too long, we notice something horrible happening around us. Willow's happy tears quickly turn into tears of fear and sadness. Her laughs turn into sobs. There, next to her, lies Xander. His once, smiling face, is now lying there expressionless, barely awake. I jump over and immediately check his pulse, being horrified when I find that he's barely alive. "Willow. Listen to me." I bring my hand to her face and she freezes, her eyes stuck on Xander. "Willow, please." Her eyes some in on mine and she nods. "I need you to go to the car and call the ambulance. There's no time to spare right now, dear." She nods and cries hysterically, running to the car with desperate cries and broken screams. I sit next to Xander and try to calm my nerves with every silent moment that Xander isn't laughing in. "Kayson? I need you to go comfort her." I place my hand on Xander's wrist and I feel him wrap a couple fingers around one of my own. "But you?" I bite my lip and stare down at Xander, my eyes burning with painful tears. "Xander and I have each other, I've got my brother. Now she needs her brother." He takes a deep breath behind me and plants a kiss on my head, walking away hesitantly. But walking away nonetheless.
"Xander?" His light grip on my finger tightens a bit, letting me know he can hear me. "I don't know why you thought I wouldn't find out about your condition." I let out a pathetic little laugh, knowing that's the only way I won't cry. "Lung cancer.." I talk more to myself than I do to him, knowing that if I even try to speak to him.. it'd be pointless. "Well Xander.. I think you should know that I've known for a while now." I hear a sharp breath come from him, just as I hear sirens in the far distance. "Don't think I haven't been paying attention to you, Xanny." I half smile and put my free hand in the sand, seeing circles in it. "The bags under your eyes getting heavier. The muscles you once had slowly disappearing. The pain in your face when you do anything at all. When I first found out I was bringing life into this world..it was the same day I found out that you were slowly losing your own." Then I break down. Suddenly, there's no stopping the flow of the heartbreaking tears that fill my eyes. "We didn't get enough time, Xander. We just met, and we're fucking siblings." I look up at the sky and close my eyes, trying to breathe the way I was before. "Xander, you should've just asked for help. I was here. I'm always right here." Then I hear the best thing I could hear right now. His voice. "But- but did you ask for help, Davina?" His breathing loud and uneven, on the verge of dying right next to me. I shake my head and look back down at him. His eyes are only half open, the only strength he has going into this moment. "How many times did you ask for help when you were dying, Davina?" I cry harder and louder at his words. "No. Xander, you can't do that. This isn't a game. This is YOUR LIFE!!" He coughs and talks again, straining himself more than he should be. "It was your life too, Davina. I know this isn't a game, but I don't want treatments. I just wanted to live while I could. It's just gonna be a little shorter than your own."
His eyes close completely, no longer looking at me. His breathing falls quiet and almost nonexistent. His hand relaxes around mine. His whole body is just at peace. Then, as I cry and drop my face into our hands, the paramedics get here. They're quick to pull me away from his body. They're even quicker when they begin putting him in the ambulance. Willow comes running to me and wraps her arms around me, and I do the same. We cry hard into each other and fall to the ground at the realization of what's really gonna happen soon. We sit in the sand with our arms around each other, waiting for a miracle to happen. "Alright, Willow. Go ride with him. We'll be right behind you." Kayson's voice is heard but slightly quieter than I expected. I pull Willow's face right in front of my own, our noses grazing when I do. "I'm here no matter what, Willow. No matter the circumstances. You hear me?" She nods quickly and gets up off the ground, running to the only boyfriend she's ever had. The same boyfriend that she's had since the age of fourteen. Poor Willow.
My thoughts are interrupted when I see Kayson drop to the floor in front of me. He puts a comforting hand on the back of my head and pulls me into his lap, hugging me tighter than ever before. "He has no longer than two months, Davina. If that." He pulls his head into my neck and let's out a heavy sigh. I wrap my arms around him tightly, drawing small circles on his back. "He's your best friend, Kayson. Are you okay?" I suck in a sharp breath at the realization of just how much this is going to hurt him. All he does is shake is head, he doesn't speak and he doesn't cry. He just sits in silence, holding me in his arms. "We've gotta get home and shower, then we can go to the hospital. We can't go in the room with him for a while anyway." I pull away from him for just a second, trying to read his face. But I see nothing. His face is unrecognizable. Void of any emotion he may have had before. Looking identical to the man I met over a year ago. Poor Kayson.
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Kayson's pov
"Kayson? I need you to go comfort her." She places her hand on Xander's wrist and I see him wrap a couple fingers around one of hers. "But you?" I put a hand over my head and rub the back of my head in dreadful memory of almost losing him before. "Xander and I have each other. I've got my brother, now she needs her brother."I take a deep breath and stare down for a second before planting a kiss on her head, walking away hesitantly. 'She needs her brother.' Sure she does, and I'll be there. But what about me? The only two brothers I've ever known are either dead or dying. I feel selfish for wanting Xander for myself in this moment. I'm sure Davina would understand, but I'll let her have that time with him. She knew something was up, she always talked about it. I let it go in one ear and out the other, but I didn't know she was right. I didn't want to believe her when she told me he was dying. I should've been spending more time with him, like she has. I should've been a little nicer to him, like she has been. I should've stayed up a little later with him, like she did on multiple occasions. Had I known what he's been dealing with, I'd been a better brother to him. Now it's becoming too late.
"Willow?" I walk up to Xander's car that she's sat in front of. She hangs up the phone and drops it in the sand. She quickly gets up on her feet and lets her body fall on my own. Her arms wrap tightly around me, letting me know just how much she needs me. "I can't watch him suffer anymore, Kayson." I close my eyes and bite down my lip, keeping myself together until I can fall in Davina's arms. I wrap an arm tight around her and lay the other on her head, cradling her in my arms. "He's been falling apart in front of my face for too long.. but he refuses help at any given moment I tell him to see someone." Typical Xander. Claiming everything is okay. He's so selfless, yet so selfish at the same time. He claims that as long as we're happy, he's okay.. but we're not okay anymore. Not now. If it were me he'd have me getting treatments in an hour. If it were me he'd do anything he could to make sure I lived happily. I wish it were me. For the first time in my life I kind of wish I could go with him when he goes. Wherever he goes.. It won't be long. It won't be long at all. That's the scariest part.
"Kayson? Are you listening?" I snap my eyes open and feel a tear slide down my cheek. She pulls away from me just as I wipe the tear off my face and she begins to cry harder. "We've all lost too much. Way too soon." She begins to fall to the ground as she speaks, and I go down with her. "This is how you lost your mom. This is how I lost my older sister. I mean for fucks sake, my own father shot my mom right in front of my eyes before I was even old enough to start school." She let's out a broken, silent scream, curling into a ball and falling into my chest. "This isn't fair, Kayson. It hasn't been enough time." I pull my trembling lips into a thin line and look up at the sky. "Focus on the time you have left with him, Willow. It'll save your soul in the end." I wince as I spew out the words the doctors told me just a day before I lost my mom. I know it isn't wholly true, my soul still hurts.. but she's stronger than I've ever been. So she's got this.
"He's got three months, Kayson. If that." She starts to hyperventilate in my arms, struggling to breathe or get any words out. Just as I lift my head, I see the paramedics pull in and immediately pull Willow and myself up. She begins to run to the ambulance mumbling 'I love you, Kayson.' as she does. "I love you too, sis." Is all I can manage as I begin to slowly follow the paramedics, leading me to Xander and Davina. Davina cries and lets out a broken sigh, squeezing Xander's hand before they pick him up. That's when I see a few tears fall from his eyes. This moment being one of the very few times I've seen him cry. This is the same moment I break down. Feeling Davina's touch, wrapping my arms tightly around her, pulling her into my lap, and hiding my face in her neck. I let all my pain from the past twenty years flow down Davina's skin. She asks if I'm okay. All I do is shake my head and let the emotions carry me through my breakdown. She pulls my face from her neck and look deeply at me. It's the first time I look into her eyes and feel nothing. It's the first time I look at her face and feel no happiness. It's the first time she's talking and I'm not in a daze. Only then do I realize, I'm numb.
I feel nothing. I feel numb to my very core. I feel as if a switch has been flipped in my mind. And it's a very dangerous game that I wish to play with only the most cruel people in the world.
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Chapter 45!!😅
First of all, I'm so very sorry..😢
Second of all, I love you🥹
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