That afternoon, Briar hums as she gets up from her seat in the lavish dining area of the Spring Court Manor. The servants had given her a delightful lunch of fresh fruit, sweet bread, and cottage cheese. Bringing the dishes into the kitchen, she grins at the staff, who are laughing at something one of the cooks said. They immediately go quiet as they spot her, bowing to her politely.
"Miss Briar, apologies for our rambunctiousness."
She giggles softly and looks from one very tall male to the other. They look almost sheepish. "Don't worry about little old me! I like seeing you guys have fun. Hell, this Court has gone through enough strife to deserve the feeling of happiness. So please, carry on."
One of the males takes her dish and smiles, nodding. "We should have been paying better attention. It is our job to be serving you."
"Gods, don't fawn all over me, I can do things on my own too."
"Yes Miss, but the High Lord prefers his guests to be thoroughly taken care of."
"And if he asks, you've been nothing but absolutely perfect", she replies, grinning.
"Our forever gratitude", they bow again.
Briar raises an eyebrow. "Stop bowing to me, you're acting as if I'm your Lady or something", she chuckles.
The males exchange nervous glances and suspiciously busy themselves suddenly.
"The-the High Lord is not interested, and I don't know what I want for my future. I don't even how my powers work yet, so I assure you that nothing is going on between me and the High Lord. If I'm being completely honest, I don't think he is ready for anything yet anyway. He's still struggling and still healing, and he should focus on that. You don't have to whisper. Just because there is a bond does not mean it will be accepted. Alright?"
Their eyes widen a bit, and she swallows hard, having revealed too much. The staff lower their heads. "Yes, Miss Briar. Apologies."
Briar smiles sweetly at them. "No need. Just maybe keep the gossiping to a minimum", she giggles.
Leaving the kitchen, she furrows her brow and releases a breath, venturing out into the garden, looking for the High Lord of Spring. He had not returned after breakfast, and she knows he is in a very sad state today. She has felt the crippling darkness and depression through the bond in small bursts and her own stomach had been in knots all day as well.
"Tamlin?"
The only answer is the birds singing in the trees and the soft whistle of the breeze in her ears. Sighing, she picks up the skirt of her yellow sundress, a design of red roses with thorny vines creeping up the bottom and sides. It was one of the most beautiful dresses she had ever seen she saw it hung up in her closet, unsure of when it was added. Red shoes were there to match just under them, perfectly her size.
Looking around to make sure she doesn't have any guards on her figurative tail, she sneaks around the property looking for him. That's when he sees Lucien coming up the trail close to the outskirts of one of the villages. He had most likely just winnowed in from the Night Court to check on things. Stifling a gasp, she ducks behind a large bush, waiting until he passes by, willing herself to be invisible and untraceable. She knows that if he spots her, he'd never let her venture out on her own. Paranoia from the curse is still lurking in almost everyone in Spring, even years later.
"Gods, please don't let him see me." Her heart leaps in her chest when she notices her limbs going transparent, gaping at how a simple thought had been turned into reality, even when she wasn't trying, her magic concealing her body and her scent.
Once it's safe, she takes deep breaths, willing herself to look normal again. After a few seconds, she looks down. Her body is no longer invisible and it's as if nothing had happened.
Briar comes out from her hiding place and continues on her way, trying to track down Tamlin. Her shoes click on the cobblestone streets as she walks, cautiously but confidently.
She can't help but smile at a large group of children doing crafts near the edge of one of the open fields, and for a moment she remembers her job as a social worker's apprentice in the mortal lands. The children giggle and look at her as she passes by. One of the older girls in the bunch pops up and chases after her. "Miss! Miss!"
"Oh, hello there", Briar greets her, curtsying.
"You're the High Lord's lady, are you not?"
"M-Me? Oh-I...I don't quite know. I don't think so. But, I am a guest at the Manor, however."
She grins. "My mama said that the new guest was going to be his Lady someday, that my cousin saw it."
"Saw it?"
"She's a seer, but she's still very little. Her name is Janie. I'm Josie. My auntie Stella told my Mama about what Janie showed and well...anyway!" The girl hands Briar a beautiful flower crown, vivid and bright multicolored flowers all around it, soft white ribbons trailing behind it. "A gift for our Lady", she bows, smiling brightly.
Briar turns red and smiles sweetly at the blonde girl's excitement and enthusiasm, and not wanting to quash her pride, squats down so the girl can put it on her.
"It's perfect!", she squeals. "You're so pretty", she says.
"Thank you", Briar blushes and smiles, gently cupping her face. "So are you. But beauty isn't everything remember. Intelligence and strength are more important."
"My mama tells me that."
"Well, you have a very smart mother. So did mine. But I must be off now, sweetheart. Have fun, and thank you very much for the flower crown, it's beautiful."
"You're welcome!", she squeals, skipping back over to her friends.
Briar shakes her head and lets out a shaking breath, now extremely adamant about finding Tamlin. She's done skirting around the bond and wants to know how he truly feels about her; whether they want to connect or decide they are better off living their own lives. Maybe this is why he seemed to flip-flop emotions between cool indifference and overprotective care in regard to her.
After following some of the winding streets for quite some time, she realizes she's slightly lost. She fidgets with the ribbons on the flower crown but continues her trek, the path becoming thinner until she reaches the edge of the Northern woods that border the Autumn Court.
The only noise she can hear is her breath as she looks over her shoulder, realizing she is truly alone in the silence. Holding her head high, Briar pats her thigh to where a small gifted dagger lays under her dress, courtesy of Lucien the last time he had visited. A gift she was told not to tell Tamlin about. Though she much prefers talk and peace, she isn't completely ignorant of the dangers of simply being a woman-female, especially in Fae territory. Even in the mortal lands, she would take self-defense classes-but that was before her mother became ill and their money quickly dwindled. She wonders if she would remember any of the techniques if the need arose.
Seeing as she hasn't seen a wink of Tamlin all day, she figures he must not be in the best mood; granted, on the anniversary of a lover's death, that is to be expected. Going by the pattern she has witnessed recently, she makes the assumption that he is prowling around in beast form, as he does when he is saddened or scared. She just wishes she knew what that beast form looked like up close; she had only seen it from very far away, a blur to her vision as he raced off past her window in the middle of the night. She should have asked to see it. Then she would know if it was a monster she should be afraid of, or the High Lord.
It's not Briar's first time venturing into the woods. Often times when her mother was sick and she was stressed not only from caring for her but also from her work with the children, she would take long walks in the woods by her home. However, it was unheard of to do so for leisure, as the humans had always been terrified of fae coming to slaughter them.
She never liked to believe all the tall tales, and figured that if the end was coming and it was her time, it would happen; no need to pre-maturely worry and get herself even more stressed and drive fear in the village. She had heard about Feyre Archeron, the girl who got kidnapped by the Fae, never to be seen from again. Briar had always figured that was more of a good thing than a bad thing.
What use is kidnapping if they were simply going to kill her? She must have been taken somewhere better, somewhere the humans were never to see. Of course, she had heard all the stories of it being a living nightmare. Enslaved, tortured, and forced to serve and please the fae. She had never believed it, hoping instead that a better life lay behind the Wall; that the fae simply treasured their sacred lands enough not to let simple humans stain it. She had seen all too well the effect mass panic had on society, and what it could do to perfectly good people like the Archerons. She hadn't known them personally then, but she had been in school with Elain when they were young, the one that she was saved alongside at the Hybern Camp. She wishes that she had been more outgoing back then; maybe they could have been friends, but she was quite the wallflower and kept to herself while Elain had been more popular. It was no shock when Elain didn't remember her, and she wasn't going to make a big deal about it.
When she had heard through the whispers in the streets that Feyre had returned for a visit before going back to the fae, she had deemed her theory correct and willingly joined the Children of the Blessed, in search of a better life. She hadn't had anything left to lose. Her mother was dead, she had no living family, and she was going to starve to death with the tiny stipend her job gave her. It was hardly enough to survive. After joining the Children of the Blessed, she felt like she had a family again. They all quickly became like brothers and sisters, especially Lilly. They became fast friends, and best friends, closer than anyone else. She resonated with her so much they could have been twins if they had shared genes.
Briar continues her hike, looking around at the vivid plant life and lush trees, the soft sizzle of magic giving her pleasurable goosebumps as it infuses the land. "Lilly would have loved it here", she thinks, a wave of sadness coming over her. It always haunted her; the question she had. Why did she survive and none of the others had? So far, the answer had evaded her, but it haunts her nonetheless.
With the scent of magic making the air slightly metallic, Briar wonders if that means she is close to Tamlin. Her fae senses are much, much, keener than they were as a human. Plus, it is said that the High Lords are closely connected to the magic of the land they serve.
As she gets deeper into the forest and the leaves cover the sun, she suddenly hears a loud slamming and cracking noise from not too far away. As her body flinches, memories of the dark Hybern cave begin to flood her mind. The noise reminds her of every time the heavy Cauldron was tipped with the pulley, slamming onto the rock of the cavern floor, spilling out one after another of her friends, their bodies lifeless and haunted and their eyes blank and glazed white, the last one, Lilly. Her breathing quickens as more flashes threaten to consume her; she remembers the potent grief of seeing Lilly like that ripping screams from her chest, she remembers the scraping of the metal chains, the freezing coldness of the water in the Cauldron, then the burning singe of the faebane on her wrists, and the feeling of her blood bubbling as her skin was ripped open from the faebane soaked whip used to give her lashings as Hybern delighted in her pain all those months after. She stumbles and catches herself on a tree, panting and rubbing at her eyes, her body suddenly warm and beginning to sweat.
"No no no...I'm fine. I'm fine. It's over. I'm okay", Briar mumbles over and over, trying to slow her breathing as she blinks her vision clear. The tears threaten to come anyway as she slumps to the ground, holding her knees.
For a moment she thinks she can hear Lilly's voice. A soft whisper in the breeze. "Get up. Get up, Briar. Get up. Run."
"L-Lil...", she mumbles, attempting to clamber to her feet. That's when she hears it again, but...different. Not the voice of her friend, but something 'other'.
"I can help you. Look at me", it whispers. "Look at me and you will be free of your horrors. I've come to save you." Despite the words meaning to be comforting, the voice is anything but. It's cold, breathy, chilling, seemingly ancient.
That's when a large being picks her up by the nape of her dress, clean off her feet, and runs. Her vision distorts, her mind swims and throbs. It runs faster than she's ever experienced; so fast it hardly seems like they're moving at all as she screams and writhes for the monster to let go of her.
When it finally does, Briar finds herself with her nose inches above the ground, now bright green grass. Her entire body trembles as she hears a low huffing snort of a giant creature-reminiscent of a bull-behind her, causing all the hair on her body to stand on edge. With her body feeling like jelly, all she can do is roll onto her back on the grass, staring up at the offender as her flower crown finally lolls off her head.
That's when her eyes widen like saucers, and she sees the beast that had gripped her in its massive jaw, yellow-green eyes staring down at her.
Briar pants and scrambles backward with her adrenaline, then she takes in the features. This monster was massive, with the body of a bear the color of a golden lion, the head of a wolf and lion mix, with a large jaw of razor-sharp teeth and two gigantic antlers that could impale someone if the beast wanted to.
She breathes heavily, sweating, her heart racing, but she tries her best to slow it, squinting up at him. The beast shakes its large head, a short mane of golden-brown swaying as he does so. "You fool!", he growls.
Her jaw drops as she looks at it, at him, not believing that it actually spoke to her. But she recognizes the voice, despite it being octaves deeper than usual. "Tamlin", she breathes out. "I-I-"
In front of her eyes, a beam of golden light explodes from the beast, and within seconds, the grumpy High Lord is leaning over her on hands and knees, as his beast had been on all fours.
His jaw flickers but she can't seem to tear her eyes away from his. He doesn't seem in much of a rush to move either until the urge to reach up and cup his face slowly takes over her, and she raises her hand. For a moment she has a flash of their positions being opposite. Her body presses flush against his in the silence of the night, his gorgeous grin staring up at her-
One blink and speechless, the spell seems to break, even as her breath hitches from his beauty and muscles. She is back in the moment, a shudder wracking through her.
He pops up to his feet faster than any human could and blinks down at her still flat on her back and dazed from the way the bond is buzzing through her body from their closeness. Tamlin swallows and extends a hand to her. Reluctantly, she takes it, always surprised by the warmth that seems to seep from his skin and the tingles that erupt when they touch. He pulls her up and quietly helps her brush off her dress. His jaw is so tight now, she's afraid he will break his teeth. Whether it is because he is trying to hold back his more fae-like instincts to be physical with her, or if he is actually upset, she can't tell.
"You're upset with me...", she whispers. "I know I'm not supposed to be wandering alone a-and..."
Tamlin glances at the ground and leans down, picking up the flower crown that the little girl had made her. He tries his best to ignore the raging tingles that still prick the palm of his hand where they had touched.
Taking a deep, steadying breath, he carefully places it back on her head, an eyebrow raising in silent question. That damn hand though. He flexes it next to his side, hoping to be rid of the stupid mate bond effects. Not to mention the claws that are hovering just under his knuckles from his lingering panic and annoyance at her foolishness.
'Steady...breathe...silent until calm...think...'
Briar looks at him, slightly confused by his utter silence. "I really am sorry...I had a question for you, and you weren't at the Manor. And I was so sick of everyone catering to me and treating me like some delicate flower. I was going a bit stir-crazy, so I snuck out. I realize it was a bad decision, and I know everyone here is still worried about safety after...everything and I'm sorry."
"That", he murmurs, looking back over at the forest before meeting her baby blue eyes again, "...was the Bogge. It uses your weaknesses and curiosity against you. If you acknowledge it, it takes over you. The only way to combat it is to pretend it does not exist; to keep your cool."
"Oh", she says softly. "I thought I heard my friend, but she died. And then I felt like I was back in Hybern. It was like one of my nightmares. It was awful."
"I sensed your...panic. You're lucky I got to you before it overcame you. It is not smart to go in those woods unless you know what you're doing and what you could encounter. I have been the High Lord for hundreds of years. I know what I'm doing. There's a reason nobody takes leisurely walks there to this day. There are still monsters that linger. It's not me being harsh or mean, it's a simple truth. It can legitimately be life or death, and I have seen enough death for my lifetime", he snaps a bit.
Ignoring the tone in his voice, she narrows her eyes a bit. "You sensed me? How?", she goads him a bit, unable to help herself despite knowing the answer.
He lets out a frustrated huff as they slowly make their way back to the Manor. "I can sense any of my subjects if I try."
"But I'm not one of your subjects", she points out, raising her own eyebrow at him. "So then how did you sense me, High Lord?"
He curls his lip in annoyance, clearly not wanting to answer. "You already know why, and I'm not interested in rehashing it."
"Because I'm your mate. We are tied to one another by fate. I know. But you seem very unlikely to accept me, so I don't know why your staff is treating me as if I am already some sort of Lady to this Court when I'm just a visitor."
Tamlin goes a bit rigid and his steps halt. "Are they?"
"Yes. And I-I know you aren't anywhere near ready to entertain this bond still. I suppose I came to find you because-well...I...I wanted to know if there was a chance for us to get to know each other longer than two weeks, or if you would rather keep it to this casual sort of visitor status. I have no bad feelings about returning to Winter. I just feel bad that even if you don't want me, you'll be stuck tethered to me forever."
He blinks rapidly and looks over at her, a surprised look on her face. "No. It would very much be the other way around. You've seen my other form now up close and personal. I'd assume a female like yourself with so much curiosity and optimism would not enjoy being tethered to a grumpy old beast eternally."
She swallows and places a hand on his forearm. It takes all his strength not to pull away quickly as the magic between them seems to brand him with her touch. Intense. Every time. Like this morning. "The thing about being an optimist is that I know everyone has different sides. I know there is a side to you that is not grumpy and takes joy in something or other. I'll find what it is...if I stay long enough."
His eyes widen with panic, and she smirks, winking at him before walking ahead of him, her skirts swishing in the slight breeze.
He follows, shaking his head at this impossible female. He does not particularly like challenges, but she seems to be designed specifically to challenge everything about himself.
"Briar!", he shouts a bit.
She spins around and flashes him a grin. "Yes, High Lord?"
He growls and she smirks.
"It's Tamlin. You keep forgetting that."
She raises an eyebrow. "Alright, Tamlin, what is it?"
"If you do want to go on a walk that doesn't leave you further traumatized, I know a few places. You can just ask."
"Well, I was looking for you earlier. You weren't here."
"Right. I'm sure the sentries would've taken you. Some seem keen on you."
"I'm not here for the sentries. At least not right now."
"Then what exactly are you here for?", he counters, pushing the envelope slightly.
Her eyes sparkle. "Maybe I wanted to get to know the male someone says I'm tethered to for eternity."
"There is not much to know."
"I don't believe that, especially after the tragic tales I have heard already."
"Well, I'm not an open book. I prefer my privacy."
She goes right up to him again, her forehead about chin-height on him, and she raises her head confidently to look up into his green eyes. "I sense a fib."
"A fib?"
"Mhm. See, I think you're damaged from grief. You said it yourself. You've seen enough death to last an eternity. I think that's gotten to you so badly that you're terrified to be open with anyone in fear that they will die or go away too. And I'm not judging you for it. In fact, I understand it. But...as I have told you before, you can't change your life by wallowing in the past. That doesn't mean it won't affect you, I know that it does. But if you let fear hold you back, you let it win. You let the bad guys win. You let everyone know that while they can move on, you've been kept down."
Tamlin bares his teeth at the assumption of weakness. "I am not weak. But I'm fucking sick of being struck down and getting up again only to be struck down a hundred more times. At one point you need to be smart enough to stay the fuck down. It's not worth the repeated beatings and false sense of confidence to try and prove to people who already hate you that you're worth something. Because the truth is, after all this time, I won't ever be worth anything again." Blinking, he opens his mouth to take it back but then reels a bit, stepping back and brushing past her into the Manor.
Briar's face falls and she sighs. She certainly knows what the other Courts of Prythian think of him since meeting everyone, but she doesn't see someone who is irredeemable. Someone broken, yes. Someone that has made mistakes, yes. Someone that is impulsive, most likely. But none of those mean he should remain down or hated.
She follows him back into the Manor and watches as he sinks into his throne-like chair near the fireplace, next to which a fresh stack of firewood has been placed. He places his elbows on his thighs and his head in his hands. She doesn't want to bother him, but she feels bad for making him feel low. Before she can think of anything to say, she feels a slight squeeze on her shoulder.
Looking over her shoulder, she sees Lucien and smiles softly. He inclines his head politely and glances over at Tamlin knowingly. Stepping around her, he walks into the large sitting area and Tamlin looks up, a soft spark in his eyes.
"Lucien! I didn't know you were here."
"Well, you didn't think I was going to leave you hanging by yourself with all these festival preparations, did you? I did accept my old position back, despite it being part-time."
He leans back in his chair and lets out a stressed sigh. "I don't know. You have a mate now, and you're living...over there."
"How many times do I have to tell you that just because I live there to be close to my mate, that does not mean my morals have changed. You are my friend, and you will remain so. You have done so much hard work to get to this point. I'm...I'm proud of you."
Tamlin looks up at him, an uncomfortable look on his face and Lucien barks out a laugh. "I know how that sounds. But no, really...you've come a long way. It's impressive, Tam."
"Th-ank you", he mutters slowly.
Briar watches, not wanting to spy, but unable to stop listening.
"I just-I wish he were here to see it too. It's not-"
Lucien looks down. "I know. But he's at peace now. With his family. And this Court knows that he is as much of the savior of Prythian as Feyre is. It all started with him. He was selfless and wild, and curious and optimistic."
Briar's heart sinks at the familiar words, and his fear for her, even as a visitor, makes more sense. If this person she thinks they are talking about died because of those traits...
Tamlin swallows hard. "Yeah. And he doesn't get to ever see a life outside of that darkness and suffering. It's not fair. It's not right."
Lucien pats his shoulder. "A lot of the deaths we have seen haven't been right. Jacx, Andras, Bryn. Not only us, but the Winter Court lost so many children because of her. All we can do is take solace in the fact that they are all in the arms of the Mother now. They are at peace. No more pain."
He nods slowly and rubs his face. "Everyone that comes near me dies, Lucien. Everyone I care for."
Lucien crosses his arms. "Hey, what am I? Moldy cheese?"
Tamlin scoffs a bit. "You're a fucking miracle, that's what you are. How many times have you cheated death now?"
He grins playfully, his golden eye clicking. "Ohh, I lost count a handful of close calls ago."
"Exactly."
Briar walks into the room shyly and they look over at her.
"I want to know."
"Know what?", Tamlin sighs, leveling a look at her.
"I want to know everything that happened in detail. Not just the parts I got from Viviane and Kallias, or the pieces I got from the other Courts. I want your stories. You were both here."
Lucien and Tamlin exchange a look.
"I'm not stupid, and I don't need to be protected from sadness. I need to know what happened so I can understand this Court and these faeries better."
"I thought you weren't here just for the sentries?"
"No. Not just them. But you, and the rest of these people. See this crown on my head? A little girl made it for me. These kids and their families have hope. They are thriving because of what you've done to rebuild and come back so far. So I want to know their stories-your stories. Not just bits and pieces. So I can know what it is that you are all recovering from. Aside from the Feyre thing and losing Andras. Start from square one. I know about what the curse was...but...who helped it along aside from Feyre? Who else did you lose?"
Lucien wrings his hands, glancing at Tamlin and then back to her.
Tamlin pipes up. "It started in my childhood, but I will start with when she came and propositioned me..."
.
.
.
Hours later the entire thing was laid bare for her, tears running down Briar's face as she clings to their hands. One in Tamlin's and one in Lucien's. Their eyes are gleaming as well.
"I-I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry", she chokes out, a sob escaping her.
Tamlin gets up and squeezes her hand slightly. "I want to show you something", he murmurs. Lucien remains seated, nodding slowly to him. He leads her outside and down the path between the different gardens he keeps, venturing out to the largest one, plush and filled with the most beautiful flowers; tulips, carnations, hydrangeas, mums, roses-and lilies; to name a few. The brightness and happiness of it brings a smile to her face.
"It's gorgeous, Tamlin."
"That's not the only thing", he whispers, very slowly slipping his fingers between hers. She follows his lead, and he takes her over to a large stone, tall as a pillar, at least twelve feet up, covered in small, glinting platinum plaques. Her eyes water again as she steps forward, knowing what it is even if Tamlin doesn't speak.
Names. Hundreds of names. One for each small piece of metal. Tears drip down her cheeks at these faeries that she never knew but had been good people. The best. Honorable enough to die for their Court and their Continent's freedom.
Sniffling, she gently untangles her fingers from his as she reads them all in her head. Tamlin swallows hard, choking down his sorrow, his eyes immediately going to Andras's plaque.
{ Andras Floryn ~ 20 years old }
He tries to clench his jaw tight enough to prevent his lip from trembling, but fails, attempting to turn away so she doesn't see his vulnerability. He hadn't even told Feyre how significant Andras had been to him. Not once. He had tried to be too occupied to do so.
Briar feels a large rush of anguish down the bond and the strength of it nearly stops her breath in her throat. Turning to Tamlin, she sees him doing his best to cover up his grief-the potent pain that lies beneath it.
She watches him as he moves a few feet to the right, tracing over another one, sniffling and looking down, guilt taking over him-over them.
{ Brynja Kara ~ 182 years old }
As close to him as Lucien and Andras, Bryn was like a sister to him. They would poke and prod and tease one another to the brink of utter destruction to their surroundings at times. But they were like family. Family. He, Lucien, Bryn, and Andras. Makeshift and found; not by blood but as strong and unbreakable as if they had been.
He wasn't lying when he had called Lucien a miracle-he was stunned that none of the attempts on his friend's-his brother's-life had never been successful, especially seeing as how close they were to being so.
Without caring of the consequences, Briar goes over to him and wraps her arms around his middle tightly, squeezing her eyes shut. Tamlin lets out a quiet sob and his body slackens. Giving into the sorrow, he loosely loops his arms around her shorter form, allowing the tears to come. The bond between them hums with contentment and a feeling of safety that Tamlin has not felt since...well, ever.
Briar sniffles and gives him a soft squeeze. "It's okay to miss them. It's okay to be sad and angry, and feel powerless and sometimes hopeless. But it's not forever, and if they truly loved you and truly cared, I know they'd want you to be happy again. To live this life that they gave theirs for. Don't let their deaths be in vain."
Tamlin looks down at her, his face is drawn and melancholic. A remaining tear makes its way down his face. This time, unlike earlier, he does not shy away from her touch when she reaches up and strokes it away with her thumb.
"I feel the same way about my friends. Lilly...", she swallows. "But realistically I know I didn't cause their deaths. Someone awful did. Your friends died because of Amarantha, not you. Just like my friends died because of Hybern, not me. But yet knowing that will never lessen the hurt. We will both carry it always, but we don't have to let it rule us and take over our hearts. We can see their sacrifices and honor them by being who they would want us to be."
She bites her lower lip and trails her thumb across his cheekbone, wiping away the excess moisture. "And I know it's extremely difficult for you to trust. You have so many walls up, and I seem open, but I do too. I think this bond-maybe it sense that hesitancy and fear in both of us. But I truly believe we can work together to overcome it. I think we could be great friends if not more", she whispers, tipping her head back to get a better view of his face. "I'm not forcing you to trust me, and I recognize one hundred percent why you wouldn't. Betrayal, I think, is the worst fear to overcome. More than grief even, because it makes you look at everyone you care for with a suspicious lens and it can make you so bitter and high-strung that it drives people away that wouldn't do that to you."
He hangs his head, their foreheads nearly touching as he raises his eyes to look into hers, exhaustion and pain behind the pale green irises. "Lucien...", he whispers shakily. "When he had left with Feyre after she destroyed my Court...I think it hurt me more that he did than Feyre. I had been suspicious of Feyre, even if I didn't want to admit it to myself. But Lucien? It's so hard to stop hating him for that. For knowing, for letting her, for going with her. I-I don't-", he quickly lets go of her as his claws slip from his skin, sharp and gleaming. His eyes flow into that yellowish green from his usual Spring green and he closes his eyes, doing his best to breathe through the anger threatening to take over him. "It is so fucking hard to know that someone I think of as my brother let that happen to me, who had protected him from his family, and this Court that he had called home", Tamlin growls.
"He is making up for it. He is sorry, Tamlin. It's okay for people to need to be forgiven, nobody is perfect and everyone fucks up sometimes. You know that." Briar places a hand on his chest and closes her eyes, reaching for that own well of power within herself, projecting a sense of calmness, hoping it will flow over them both.
She hears him gasp and opens her eyes. Any trace of that anger is gone from his features.
"Your powers", he murmurs.
Briar blushes and looks up at him. "I'm attempting to practice as much as I can."
"Your eyes..."
"My eyes?"
"They...get bluer. Like...like electric blue, not just your usual soft blue, and the light seeps from you in wisps...like Rhys's darkness."
She blinks and looks around her. Indeed, there is an aura of bluish-white iridescent clouds surrounding her and touching him from where her hand still lays on his broad chest.
"How do I stop it?"
"Same way you started it, I would think. Focus."
When it doesn't immediately go away she begins to panic, her breaths getting faster as she tries to shake it off of her skin foolishly, whining slightly.
Tamlin huffs out a small chuckle before grabbing her upper arms gently. "Briar."
The baritone of his voice moves through her like a wave and she immediately pauses, looking at him wide-eyed.
"It will be alright. Just breathe. Imagine it slowly reeling back into you...", he murmurs. "Project it back into that well of magic inside you."
She takes a shaky breath and nods, closing her eyes and focusing, albeit not as much as she could be with the warmth and buzzing feeling of his hands on her skin. She imagines the magic flowing back into her, releasing, fading away from the outside. When she opens her eyes again seconds later, he's smiling at her slightly.
"You did it."
"I did?"
"Yes."
"Oh, good", she takes a deep breath and releases it. "Thank you."
"I didn't do anything."
"You helped ground me when I began to panic. That's something."
"Just repaying the favor."
"No need."
They lock eyes for longer than should be comfortable before he releases her and looks away shyly. "I should go check to borders. You should go and make sure Lucien is behaving.
Another half-smile.
"Alright. See you for dinner?"
"You will", he nods.
She nods back and gives him a soft smile, making her way back to the house, admiring the flower on the way as Tamlin stares after her, his gut twisting in confusion.
Briar had asked what he wanted earlier. Should she stay or go? Unfortunately, his heart and his mind can't seem to agree on the matter.