Author's Note: In retrospect, I wish I'd included more with Anakin and the clones, but I guess I'll save that for another Vaderkin time travel ;)
~ Tirana Sorki
Anakin is quite accustomed to the sensation of when something very, very bad is about to happen. He has it now – a certain, knowing knowledge that this is about to go downhill. It doesn't make much sense, because everything is peaceful on the outside, but he knows it'll happen. Somehow. Sometime.
He and Ahsoka are on a relief mission to help the people after the war. It's not over, but there is some sort of deal being worked out. He knows something is about to go wrong, though. He can feel the Dark Side. The Sith, most likely, are going to try coming after him. He only wishes Ahsoka wasn't going to be caught in the middle of it. Sidious will use her against him.
No sooner do they finish unloading than one of the clones returns with the report that some of them seem to have disappeared.
"Search the area," Anakin orders. He's not even surprised about that. Of course, Sidious will start there. Though it's not Sidious who's here. It's Ventress. He recognizes her presence clearly.
"I will go in alone," Anakin declares, and he moves out. He knows how to be stealthy, and he is right now as he moves from shadow to shadow, concealing himself. He isn't surprised to find the dead bodies of the missing clones, either, or that they've been killed by a lightsaber. That doesn't stop the rage from flaring through him.
He tries to let it go – he knows it was the will of the Force, but he still feels responsible.
He keeps moving across the back alleyway between the tall buildings. He's walking into a trap, but it's best if he comes alone. That way, he's the only one at risk. He's done with putting other people at risk for him.
Something is close, though. He can feel it coming closer, and –
The sound of activating lightsabers rings out, right as a very familiar metal figure leaps for him.
Grievous.
Anakin blocks the flailing blades, shoving him back with the Force. He never fought him in the past, but he's fought Sidious. Grievous is deadly because he uses brute force – he's not a skilled duelist.
The cyborg charges at him again, and Anakin blocks two of the blades, shoving back against them. He's still used to being the stronger opponent – getting used to otherwise after so long as Vader has taken time. It's the only reason the force of it throws him a little off balance, but he still remembers, to a point, how he used to fight.
He steps away – a saberlock with the cyborg is pointless – before swinging for him again. Something is wrong, though, he can sense, as they continue trading blows.
It's not here with Grievous; the focus of it is somewhere else.
Somewhere near...
Ahsoka.
She's in danger, and with Grievous trying to take his head off every five seconds, he can't focus on reaching out enough to determine from what.
But it's only getting stronger with each passing moment, and this was a trap, wasn't it? It was meant to lure him away, or intended to lure Ahsoka away.
Anakin lashes out with the Force, throwing Grievous back, maybe a little harder than he intended to. The cyborg slams into the very thick duracrete wall behind him and goes straight through it.
It was so completely unexpected, it takes him totally by surprise when he feels Grievous' Force-presence fading. He just... killed him.
By accident.
What is wrong with him? How could he do something like that? Now? He promised he wouldn't He wasn't supposed to... do that anymore, but he did. He did, and...
He can't undo it. Yes, Grievous was a monster, and it was probably better for him to die, but Anakin can't be the judge of that. It's not his place to give or take life from others. Even if the Force willed it, he...
It was an accident. He killed someone again. He...
Desperately, wildly, he finds himself questioning if the past months of being Light he lived were real. Or was he still Vader all along?
Ahsoka.
He needs to get back to find Ahsoka. Anakin uses that knowledge to force himself upright again. He can think about this later. He needs to get to his padawan. (How does he know he won't hurt her, too, by trying to protect her?)
***
Something's coming, Ahsoka can tell, as she scans her surroundings. She can't shake the feeling that there's something watching her, but she doesn't know what.
The war is over, and they're just trying to help clean up on the planet – and fight off any pirates and other criminals taking advantage of the situation in the meantime. There shouldn't be anything unusually dangerous here, so why...
The Force flares in warning, and she spins around right as a familiar figure steps out of the shadows. A Force-shove slams into her, throwing her against the wall of a building. Ahsoka scrambles to her feet instantly, drawing her lightsaber as Ventress ignites her own blades, charging for her.
What is Ventress even doing here?! She's obviously working with Sidious still, but that doesn't answer why she's here.
She fought Ventress once in the past, and it did not go well – Anakin had to come in to save her. But she's learned much since then, and she will not let that Sith assassin get the better of her this time.
Ahsoka blocks her blow, backing away as Ventress attacks her again. She's fighting fast and deadly, like she has no desire to play around now. That's fine. Neither does Ahsoka.
Their blades clash in a furious blur of red and green, the assassin forcing her back a few steps again. She blocks one blade, narrowly missing the other one taking her head off. Ventress shoves her back the same moment, and she loses her footing, landing on the ground with a yelp.
Ahsoka hastily rolls away to get back to her feet, only to find the red blades hovering right above her neck, nearly burning her lekku. She presses against the ground instinctively, heartrate picking up. This is bad. Anakin would be so disappointed in her if he saw her here.
"You can't escape," Ahsoka warns – even if she knows that's obviously untrue or Ventress couldn't have gotten on the planet in the first place. She's just stalling for time, for a moment to act. "My master already knows you're here."
She can feel Anakin's brilliant presence not far from here, even if he seems... momentarily distracted. But he always seems to sense everything now, in a way he never used to. She's... starting to get used to all the things he seems to pick up on that she has no idea of.
"Does he?" Ventress asks lightly, "He is a bit preoccupied right now."
What does she mean? What did they send after Anakin?!
She's certain he can handle it, because she doesn't think they even have a clue how powerful he is now, but he still may be occupied with it for too long.
Ventress moves closer, clamping her wrists in Force-restraints before pulling her to her feet, shoving her in the direction of a waiting, concealed ship not far away.
"What do you want with me?" Ahsoka demands, throwing a quick glance around for any chance of escape but there isn't any. She can't run with Ventress holding onto her like this, lightsaber only inches away from impaling her, "The war is over."
"I'm afraid not. It's only beginning," she retorts, as they finally reach the ship, and she pushes Ahsoka on board, taking her to a holding cell.
Dread coils in her as the ray shield hisses closed, locking her inside. Where is Ventress taking her? What does she want? What do the Sith want, and why did they come after her?
Jedi have been disappearing far too quickly recently, and suddenly, Ahsoka has the sinking feeling that maybe they aren't being killed. Maybe it's something far worse.
She can't begin to fathom what that might be.
***
Anakin can already feel Ahsoka growing steadily more distant as he runs back to where she last was. And reaching out with the Force, he can tell she must be on a ship somewhere, and there's a dark presence near her.
Ventress.
She must have taken her. He failed her. Again. Why is he even surprised? He should've protected Ahsoka, but he couldn't do that anymore than he can do anything right anymore. He had started hoping he could be something more, something better, and it makes a horrific amount of sense that this is the moment everything starts falling. That's what happened before, too, right?
They need to track any ships leaving the system immediately. That, at least, is something Anakin can try to make right. Even if resisting following and asking the Council what he should do is almost impossibly hard. He can't trust them, either.
But Rex finds him first. "General," he greets him instantly, a look of obvious worry on his face, "We can't find the Commander. She is not answering her comm either."
"I know," Anakin replies, "Ventress captured her. Track the ship. We need the last known trajectory and possible hyperspace lanes immediately."
Rex instantly turns to give out the order, but the ship is already making the jump to hyperspace before they can send someone in pursuit. They were able to catch the trajectory where it made the jump, but there's still many planets the ship could be going to, and Anakin knows they're going to take multiple jumps to throw off any pursuers.
If Ventress risked coming into dangerous territory like this, there had to be a good reason for it.
They were after Ahsoka, and Anakin already knows why.
It's because of him. Sidious wants him. And he will stop at nothing to get to him. He knows his weaknesses – even if there's twenty years of his life Sidious doesn't know about.
And he has no way of knowing where Ahsoka is now, or what Sidious is going to do to her, but he'll do something to try luring Anakin out eventually. And he'll likely try to make Anakin Fall again, and mere thought sends a surge of blinding panic through him, because he can't. He's already afraid he's still darker than he even means to be, and he will not Fall again. Sidious has always had a way of getting what he wants, though, and that's...
All they can do is try to find Ahsoka before the Sith is ready – not that Anakin wasn't already planning to.
***
She's been captured before, but never under conditions like this. She has no idea when Anakin will come, only that he will, and it's... somehow, it's almost more frightening than facing down hundreds of battle droids. She was trained for that. She was not prepared for what would happen if she was captured. That isn't something Jedi can well be trained for, especially not when Sith are involved in it. That, most of all, is what makes it so unsettling.
All Ahsoka can tell is that it appears that she's in some sort of... spaceship, considering what the place looks like when she's finally taken off the ship.
Ventress is leading her through the halls to wherever she's being taken – most of it looks pretty much the same. She spots an occasional droid here and there, moving through the halls, but otherwise, there aren't any signs of life.
But still, she can feel the Dark Side, and she knows something is very, very wrong.
She's never felt it of this intensity anywhere before. This is the place the Sith are hiding, isn't it? What is it, some abandoned Separatist base?
It would probably make the most sense, but she doesn't know Anakin – or anyone – will ever find it. He will though because he always does. That doesn't stop the fear clawing at her.
Because she has no idea what they want with her, and she knows it's always bad for Jedi when they're captured by the Separatists, but these are Sith, and she knows that's even worse. But what could they want with her? It's not as if there's anything she can tell them.
She needs to find a way out of here, somehow. But she doesn't know how, not if this is a battle station in the middle of space. She'd have to find a way to the ships when she doesn't know where the ships are, then get off without them questioning it. But first, she'd have to find a way to escape from Ventress.
Either way, she's not giving the Sith what they want.
That doesn't mean her heart isn't going a little faster than normal when Ventress leads her into what resembles a throne room. Sidious is sitting at the front of it in a massive... what's supposed to be a throne, she thinks, but it just looks like an overly fancy chair.
"She is here, Master," Ventress says, stepping forwards and kneeling in front of him. If they're hoping she's going to join, they're very wrong.
"Whatever you want, I'm not giving it to you," Ahsoka snaps firmly, without waiting for Sidious to speak.
"That will not be up to you, padawan," he replies, smugly.
***
He's far too hyper aware of how Ahsoka isn't with him as he returns to Coruscant to give the report to the Council. (He failed to protect her, but then that's been true most of his life. Except for Luke. There's still a chance to find her, though. But...) They tracked the ship, but they still lost it, and now Anakin doesn't know where they're going to start looking for her.
"We will search for her," Obi-Wan assures him, once they finally step out of the Council meeting. He never used to... give him this much attention. Or at least he did when it was unwanted, but he's been far more... understanding than Anakin remembers him as being, and he doesn't really know why.
Sometimes, he can't fully see how this Obi-Wan and the one from the future are... the same.
"She is with the Sith. We still have no traces for where they are hiding," Anakin points out.
"They can't hide forever," Obi-Wan assures, "I doubt they intend to hide forever. I imagine the other missing Jedi may have a connection to this as well. They are likely... planning for something."
Planning for something that includes more than a dozen kidnapped Jedi? Anakin can't imagine what that might be, and he doesn't think he wants to. Sidious likely planned for something like this, and... They really should have stopped him before he escaped Coruscant in the first place.
He doubts it's another... Inquisitor-like project, but it's possible. Which means... he can imagine far too clearly what's probably happening to those Jedi. Including Ahsoka.
"In the future, at times when Jedi were captured, they were... turned. Sidious had Inquisitors, to help hunt the Jedi down," Anakin says, slowly. "Without the clones, he may... try that, but this is still so small-scale. It would not be enough." They could still do so much damage, though. "I imagine he has something on a significantly larger scale planned that I do not know about."
Obi-Wan's expression tightens. "It's possible," he agrees, "I imagine he has some sort of contingency?"
"Endless," Anakin answers immediately, "I could never be prepared for it. I do not know how many he had planned even now."
"That complicates things," Obi-Wan sighs, "Can you think of anything he could want with her?"
"He will try to lure me out," Anakin replies with certainty, "Maul warned me of that much – that Sidious still wants me." He tries to ignore how that makes him feel, because the mere thought of confronting Sidious fills him with a raw, blinding panic. He's terrified to confront Sidious again. He can't stop that fear, no matter how much he wishes he could. And mostly, he's afraid he'll give Sidious what he wants.
Obi-Wan's presence sharpens at the words, turning to ice the way it always does when he's angry. He knows it's not at him but it's still unsettling. "I won't let him hurt you."
"Don't endanger yourself for me," he objects, nearly pleading. He can't – can't let Obi-Wan put himself in danger for him again. He wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if something happened to Obi-Wan because of him.
"I will do what I must," Obi-Wan replies firmly, with that same sharpness Anakin heard twice over before, and all he can remember is Obi-Wan drawing his lightsaber on him back on Mustafar and later Jabi'im's moon. All he can remember is – is all the pain that followed those words both times.
He can't help turning away, leaning against the windowsill they're standing by to steady himself. He knows Obi-Wan isn't going to hurt him, but that doesn't mean some very annoying part of his mind isn't tensed in fear and anticipation, anyway. He knows he's breathing shakily, and it's all he can do to just... watch the passing traffic and stare out at the city, trying to think of anything but that.
Obi-Wan moves closer, lightly touching his arm. "Are you alright?"
Mutely, Anakin shakes his head. He doesn't think he can explain why, though.
"What's wrong?" he asks, frowning.
"It's just – what you said." It's hard to answer when his heart is still pounding, and he's still trying to even out his breathing.
Obi-Wan looks more confused than anything else. "That I have no intention of letting you deal with Sidious alone?" he asks dubiously.
"You said that when we fought, that's all." It's stupid and embarrassing to be panicking about mere word choices. He can't believe he's come to this. "There is something else you should know – I killed Grievous when we fought. I – I didn't mean to. It just happened. I threw him, and I misjudged the strength of it, and..."
"Would that not be a good thing?" he queries, clearly confused.
"I killed him," Anakin repeats, struggling to find a way to explain, "I was not meant to do that anymore."
"As Jedi, you know that is sometimes... necessary. You killed him in a fight; it's not as if he was defenseless."
Anakin remembers, once, many years ago, when Obi-Wan had to explain something similar to him, not long after Anakin had first joined the Order. He was used to the violence – he always has been – but doing it himself had been... different at first. He never really understood their talk of the greater good for a long time,
Memories of Mustafar are burning in the back of his mind, no matter how hard he tries to not remember. Obi-Wan hurt him there. It would hardly be the first time he hurt someone. Of course, that's what he thinks. "But it's not right," he insists, "If I could have been helped, anyone can be. It shouldn't be my choice."
"It was the will of the Force."
Was it? Anakin bites back a retort. He shouldn't backtalk, anyway. All he knows is that the fear coiling in him is sharp and strong. "That is not an excuse. What if – if I was wrong, and I haven't... let go of the Dark as I should have?"
"Anakin," Obi-Wan says firmly, pulling him around to face him. Anakin still can't bring himself to look his master in the eye. It's hard to see him, remembering everything Obi-Wan did to him. It's harder remember what Anakin did to him. "You did what you had to."
"It was this... destruction that led to Vader." Then, he had told himself he was doing it for the greater good just as the Jedi had always taught, and he'd never felt so lost before, because he knew it was wrong, but he thought that so many times for the orders the Jedi had given him in the past. Now, he knows he can only trust in the Force.
And that... is all he can do in this situation, truly.
"I never intended to become what I did," Anakin confesses, "I thought I could help the galaxy. Instead, I... destroyed everything."
Obi-Wan sighs in what Anakin hopes isn't irritation. "You were far more... violent in the past than I have seen in you now. You are everything you should be as a Jedi now. If you're this... determined not to Fall, I do not see how you could. A simple mistake does not mean permanent failure."
"It did before," he argues, "It did – last time. I started, and I couldn't stop. I didn't know how to."
"But you did."
Desperation floods him suddenly. "Master, if I... become that again, I need you to end it. I know you can. You could before."
"Anakin..."
"If we're going to confront Sidious, I need to know that – that you will." At least it will give him the surety that the galaxy won't suffer because of him again.
"If it truly came down it, I believe there are enough who could... stop you," he says finally, which isn't really a yes, but Anakin doesn't think he'll get more of a confirmation than that.
"Many tried," he replies, "Most failed. It was only you that... did not."
"I don't understand why you would... doubt yourself this much. You were always so... confident." If anything, Obi-Wan seems... uncomfortable now.
Padme had said something similar, but it's not true. It never has been. He questioned everything – most of all himself – constantly. All he could do was try to prove himself to whatever master he currently had, but they never seemed to... see it that way.
"Was I?" is all he can say in response. Briefly, bitterly, he wonders if they ever truly saw him, or if they only saw the illusion that they wanted to see, that he tried to project to the world because he knew it was what they wanted.
"Frequently, overly so," Obi-Wan replies.
"When I think of this time, I remember my family. But sometimes – all I remember is a void. A time of being nothing." Not to Padme. Not to Ahsoka, And definitely not to you.
"Why would you see it like that?" Obi-Wan asks, sounding genuinely confused.
"What I had felt like an illusion. A fantasy, one easily shattered. I remember I pretended to be what you wanted me to be. I tried telling myself I had – something, but every time I turned around, I could see the fractures. The darkness. It wasn't real. And then, Ahsoka left me and I – I couldn't pretend anymore. It started feeling... more real until I couldn't hide anymore, and then, there was only darkness."
"I never knew," Obi-Wan confesses, "I had no idea you were struggling so much."
Anakin shakes his head. "It doesn't matter anymore."
Obi-Wan lifts his hand to Anakin's shoulder. The proximity is starting to make him uncomfortable, but he's not going to object if Obi-Wan wants this. "It... does it hurt you that much. Is it... better now?"
"Perhaps a little," he replies, "If it wasn't, I don't know if I would notice. It was... easier then, than with Sidious."
For a moment, he doesn't think Obi-Wan will say anything, but the grip on his shoulder momentarily tightens. "He won't take you, Anakin. In... any way. I will not let him." He can't entirely tell who Obi-Wan's trying to reassure more.
And Anakin can only hope Obi-Wan won't be hurt in the process. It's more than enough that Sidious already has Ahsoka.
He only hopes the promise of 'in any way' means that he'll... finish it if he needs to. (He wishes the thought didn't scare him so much. It's – it would be for the best, though. At least that way, he can be sure that however this ends, he won't stay as Vader again.)
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