Wednesday, November 16th:
The next morning, Wille woke up early and ended up checking his phone. In Instagram, he followed an impulse and found Simon's photos. There were many of him with Sara, and a beautiful older woman who must be their mother. No one who looked like a father though. The other people in the photos must be his friends.
"Oh shit, sorry," August said, opening his door with a bang that startled Wille. "I didn't see anything. I just wanted to check in on you. It's time for practice."
Wille glared at him, and dropped his head down to the bed. What an asshole, barging into his private room like that.
"You can't just lie here jerking off all morning," August continued.
Wille sat up. "I wasn't-"
August grabbed his phone. "Just don't use the school's Wi-Fi for porn surfing. Could be embarrassing."
The phone rang, and August smiled broadly, answering it. "Hey man! What's up?"
Wille could hear Erik's voice, and tried to grab to phone back from August as he slagged his rowing abilities to his brother.
Finally he left, tossing the phone back to Wille.
"August is completely getting in my nerves. Is he always like that?"
Erik chuckled. "Well, yeah, he's a bit intense. But try to understand-"
Wille scoffed, grabbing a glass of water to guzzle it down.
"He's had it rough. That school is his entire life. You know his mom enrolled him there after his dad killed himself."
"What?" Wille stood, going to the window to look out. "I knew he died, but not that he-"
Erik sighed. "You were probably too young to be told the whole story."
Wille saw the rowing team gathering on the lawn. "Shit. I gotta go to practice. I'll call you tonight, OK?"
...
After a long run, they did sit-ups and planking. Wille wanted to go back to bed, sleep a few more hours. He leaned against a tree when the team disbursed.
Again, Simon ended up approaching August when he was away from the others. They talked back and forth, ending with August nodding and seeming to agree with whatever they discussed.
It seemed so strange. What were they talking about? Simon was a first year, August in third, so nothing about schoolwork. Likely not about rowing, or Simon wouldn't try to get him alone.
...
"So, why did August's dad commit suicide?" Wille asked, lying back on his bed.
Erik was in his bedroom as well, in his favourite green flannel pyjamas. He took a sip of whiskey from a cut glass tumbler. He often relaxed in his room that way in the evenings.
Shrugging a shoulder, Erik sighed. "A far too common story. Most people drink a lot or try drugs as teenagers or in their twenties. Most of us grow out of it. But some of us.... We turn to it too often, too much..."
"So, he was an addict? An alcoholic?" Wille had definitely been shielded from any of this before.
Erik nodded, and took a long swallow from his glass, the ice cubes clinking.
It brought up some disturbing thoughts. "So, here, at school, where do students get that stuff? The booze..."
"Why are you asking? Pressure getting too much for you? Dealing with August? You know I could-"
"No, no... nothing like that," Wille interrupted, shaking his head. "It's just that they had a party when I first got here-"
"Oh really?! And you never told me?" Erik smiled, a teasing glint in his eyes that Wille loved.
"Shut up," Wille grinned. "The booze they served, it was so strong... I barely had any and—"
"And what?" Erik smirked. "Did you get into trouble again? Do something you shouldn't?"
Wille tilted his head back, groaning. Erik could read him too well. He looked back at his phone, with a half-grin. "Let's just say there was this girl-"
"Oh my! This is getting interesting! What's her name?"
"You know her. Felice Ehrencrona."
Erik looked shocked. "My little brother with Felice! Just that night?"
Wille ducked his head, letting his hair fall into his face. Eventually he peered out towards the phone. "Um, no... we are kind of a thing, I guess."
It was a full five minutes of being relentlessly teased before his brother settled down a bit.
"Anyways, you never answered my original question. About the booze at the party-"
"Oh right, the love potion, apparently. Maybe I should get some. Haven't dated anyone seriously for ages," Erik said, mostly to himself. "There's students who don't board at the school. Everyone calls them non-res students. Sometimes they bring stuff in. Drugs, moonshine-"
"Moonshine? Seriously?" Wille was feeling even more sheltered as this conversation went on. Was the booze he'd had at parties at his old school been moonshine too? It hadn't seemed that strong...
"Be careful, Wille. I know it's part of being young to try that stuff, it don't do it too much, OK? And only with people you trust."
"Keep up appearances, right," Wille sighed, running his hand through his hair.
...
Friday, November 18th:
"Maybe they will discover they have hay fever?" Wille whispered into Felice's ear. She smelled nice, a light floral scent.
She turned her head reply. "They are in tall grass, not hay."
He could tell from her tone that she was smiling, and he shifted closer to her, taking her hand in his. Her skin was soft and smooth.
"Hay is dried grass, stupid," he whispered back, with a sweet tone.
She let out a bark of laughter at that, clamping her hand over her mouth to stifle any more noises. Even so, their classmates near them told her to be quiet.
But Felice had a case of the giggles, and she jumped up to leave the room. Wille followed her.
He found her down the stairs, in an alcove off from the dining hall. She was looking out a dark window, her shoulders still shaking with repressed laughter.
Clasping her shoulders, he turned her around and took her in a hug, chuckling along with her. "It wasn't that funny. Just a dumb joke."
"I know. But when combined with such a stupid horror movie... the whole situation just set me off," Felice explained, tilting her face up towards his.
Wille grinned. "It is a horrible movie."
Felice chuckled. "I was hoping for a really scary show, so you would need to comfort me."
"Well, I'm doing that now, aren't I?" Wille hugged her again. It felt good. She was a curvy girl, fitting nicely against his slim angles.
Next time she tilted her face up, he leaned in, giving her a proper kiss. They adjusted, getting even closer, and the kiss deepened. It felt nice, but after a few minutes, Wille pulled back.
Felice gave him a tender look, and he knew instantly that she liked him a lot more than he liked her.
"Um, should we go back?" Wille asked.
"Or to my room? I could sneak you in? Get Maddie to sleep elsewhere," Felice said softly.
Wille swallowed hard. "Um, I don't know..."
She smiled, resting her hand against his cheek. "Just to snuggle, sleep. That's it."
"Um...OK..." Wille said, suddenly feeling nervous. A bit out of his depth.
He had fooled around with other girls, at his old school. But it was always at parties, after at least a couple drinks. It had been exciting and rushed, trying to not get caught.
This felt more serious, like having a girlfriend. Being so intimate while sober. And he was over-thinking it.
...
Tuesday, November 22nd:
This sucks. Wille thought, reminded of the slaves on Roman war ships, chained to an oar.
It was too cold out to be on the lake, so August was putting them through drills in the school gym. There were four rowing machines, and they were all taking turns on them.
Do what the first years do and what the third years tell you. Erik's words rang in his ears as he rowed hard.
Then, waiting for his next turn on the sidelines, he saw Simon pass something to August. The older boy was angry at him, hissing something in a whisper, and shoving the object into his pocket.
Wille turned away, a sinking feeling in his stomach. Was it just what Erik had told him? That Simon was bringing stuff to school? Selling to August? It made sense with the other interactions he'd seen between them. It was so low. And August, with his dad's history, using drugs too?
...
"You came!"
Wille smiled up at Felice, and she slipped off of her horse, beaming.
He gave her a quick kiss, smiling in return. "You asked me to come," he replied, hugging her close.
Wille loved hugs. Life is definitely better with at least one long hug a day, preferably more. He sometimes wondered if he was touch starved, trying to make up for parents who weren't around as much as he needed them to be in his childhood.
"How are you doing today?" He asked her, pulling back to look down at her pretty face. Spending so much time with her lately had helped him read her better. "Not so good?"
Her smile dimmed, and she shook her head. "Maybe this just isn't for me," she said softly.
Wille looked around the riding hall, with a few other girls riding along the course, pacing their horses to go over the low jumps. Sara was here, like she so often was, resetting the bars on the jumps when they got knocked off, helping out in other small ways. Very much in her element.
He turned to Rousseau. On the way to the arena, he grabbed a few oat crunchies from a bin, tucking them in his pocket. Taking one out, he held it out to the horse with an open palm.
Rousseau's nostrils flared, and his soft lips tickled over Wille's palm, and he was soon crunching on the treat.
Turning to Felice, he pulled her against his side, and handed her a treat. She followed his example, her face tensing a bit with the horse's mouth against her hand.
"It's OK, relax," Wille said softly in her ear, his arm along her waist. He kept passing her treats until she relaxed more around Rousseau. "That's better."
Turning to her, Wille met her eyes. "It's up to you, Felice. If you want to keep doing this, I think you need to spend more time with Rousseau. Bring him treats, groom him, walk with him outside. Learn to be comfortable around each other and build from there."
Felice nodded, leaning in for another hug. "That makes sense."
"But it's OK if you decide this isn't for you. Don't just do it because other people expect it from you," Wille said, pulling back. "I know all about family pressure. It's hard to go against it."
"I'm here for you too," Felice said, giving him a quick kiss.
Wille nodded. "Want to ride a bit more?"
Felice smiled, and he watched as she rode around the arena, her body much less tense.
"You are helping her a lot," Sara said, walking closer to him.
"Thanks," Wille replied. "I sometimes have anxiety stuff, and I have tried various breathing exercises. It makes it easier to recognize the tension in others."
Sara nodded. "I went through a lot at my old school, being bullied by other girls until I could hardly leave the house. Going to therapy helped so much, getting diagnosed and on some meds. Learning ways to calm down."
"Do you see things like that with me?" Wille asked. Sara seemed like someone who would tell him the truth, not filtered or softened.
Tilting her head to the side, she looked at him closely. "You are going through a lot, but I don't think it's things that you need meds for. There's a therapist in the school, you know."
"Thanks," Wille said, nodding. What could it hurt? More and more often lately, mental health was getting discussed, getting rid of the old stigma. It was OK to get help if you needed it. It didn't mean you were weak or broken.
"Um, your brother, Simon," Wille started, and then stopped. Unsure if he should say more about his concerns.
"Yes?"
Wille took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Um, I don't know him that well. Is he doing OK? Has he been, um, acting differently since you two started here?"
Sara smiled at him. "It's funny. I've been a mess for a long time, and he helped me so much. Maybe it's time I return the favour. Check in on him."
Her view of him coloured the impressions he had made of Simon so far. His sister obviously loved him very much, and spoke easily of how much he had helped her. It matched with the Simon in his Insta. Smiling and goofing around with his family and friends.
...
-A/N: Thanks for reading. You can see I follow canon often, with small changes to fit this story as it goes along. Hope it all makes sense. I'll likely post the next chapter tomorrow and post about once a week after that.
-Horse Stuff: As soon as my older sister had a regular job and could afford it, she bought herself a horse. So anything about horses in this fic will come from what she taught me ages ago, hanging out with her and the biggest love of her life (until her husband came along), and might not be that accurate.
-Fun Facts: I like doing research for stories I write, and I'll often put notes at the end of the chapters with some background info and fun facts. It's mostly from Wikipedia and basic internet searches. Feel free to skip them.
-Touch Starved: Humans need physical contact. Without it, you may feel overwhelmingly lonely or deprived of affection. You may also have feelings of depression, anxiety and stress. Some things that can help are cuddling with loved ones, getting massages, and spending quality time with animals.
-Moonshine is a homemade knock-off of vodka. In Sweden, it is known as hembränt (home-burnt), skogsstjärnan (the forest star) or humorous nicknames like Chateau de Garage (Garage Castle), and folksprit (booze of the people). Distilling without a commercial production license is illegal in Sweden, even for personal use, and might result in fines or jail time.
Drinks with alcohol content over 3.5% are sold at a state run liquor store, with a minimum purchase age of 20 years. A bottle of Absolut vodka costs about $34 USD with all taxes in Sweden.