"When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." Ralph Waldo Emerson
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XXX.
Perrie had known that she would find herself mightily in trouble for travelling to London by herself, but she could not help it. She was totally convinced that she would descend into utter madness if she spent another minute wandering around Ashwood, pondering what was happening and if Joe was alright.
Truthfully, she found herself anxiously worrying about Joe disappearing in London. It was an awfully big city and certainly her father could not keep his eyes on him all the time.
Perrie knew that she was fretting about Joe as though he were a child, but she could not help it. She cared. The Perrie of three months ago would have been disgusted at the idea of caring about Joe Parish.
But Joe was no longer the annoying, horrid lout who had spent his formative years terrorising her. Of course, he was still that boy, but he was also a man who carried an unholy load, and it was one that he was frightened of dropping.
A blind man could see that Joe was breaking, and that he didn't know how to fall into someone. Perrie had already told her sister that she did not think that Joe loved himself. It was clear that Joe struggled immensely with what had happened while he was in the navy, and there was clearly great animosity and tender wounds surrounding his relationship with his father.
Something had brought all of this to a head for Joe. Something had brought everything to the surface, forcing him to confront it all, and he simply did not have the ability to handle it. Yet.
"Does your mother know what you have done?" Adam growled.
"If she did, she would have stopped me from coming," Perrie replied pointedly. "I did leave a note, and Lily knew where to find it."
"So, Lily knows?" challenged Adam.
Perrie bit down on her lip and chastised herself for revealing her sister's part in it. "Lily told me not to come. She couldn't stop me. Papa, please, you know I needed to be here."
"No, that is not something that I know, Peregrine," Adam snapped. "Upstairs with you. You are to stay in your bedroom until I can think of an appropriate punishment." He shooed her in the direction of the staircase. "You are far too reckless. Imagine that your carriage had been set upon by highwaymen!"
Perrie trudged towards the stairs. "I had a driver and two footmen. I was not entirely alone!" she retorted.
Her father had already scolded the servants for bringing Perrie to London, but Perrie had assured him that she had told several white lies to make them believe that she had permission to go. Adam had then said, "If they believed that, then they are gloriously stupid."
Perrie had already ascended half of the staircase before she turned around. Adam, who had been following closely behind her, nearly walked into her. Perrie was still a head shorter than her father, despite being on a higher step than him. She sighed, before wrapping her arms around Adam's torso.
It was Perrie's instinct to argue. She could often get her way when she argued. She knew that her father did not like to have conflict with any of his children. He valued having a loving and respectful relationship with all four of them, and that stemmed, Perrie understood, from his tumultuous childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood growing up with a mother and a father who were not particularly warm, loving, or sensitive to the needs of their children.
Adam always ended any disagreement that he might have had with Perrie, or any one of her siblings, by telling them that they were loved. Perrie never worried that her father was truly angry with her, because she knew that he still loved her.
It was a security that Perrie realised that she had never appreciated until now. "I love you, Papa," she whispered against him.
Adam's arms enveloped Perrie, and she felt him kiss the top of her head. "You have no idea how much I love you, and that is why you terrify me, Perrie. Stop it, please."
"Are you still going to send me to a convent?" Perrie mumbled against her father's lapel.
"I'm thinking about it," Adam murmured in reply. "I think a habit would suit you splendidly."
"Don't joke, Papa. You are not at all funny," Perrie groaned. "You must solicit Uncle Jack's advice if you want to attempt humour."
Adam chuckled quietly, but his arms tightened. "I know your uncle would agree with me on this."
Perrie pulled away as she sucked in a deep breath, before she looked up into her father's eyes. "I am sorry, Papa. I didn't ask because I knew you wouldn't let me. I thought it wiser to ask for forgiveness after the fact."
"Wiser?" Adam repeated bluntly as his eyebrows rose.
"Easier," Perrie corrected.
"Hmm." Adam then shooed Perrie on once again, and she nodded as she turned around. "I will see how forgiving I am feeling later."
As Perrie set foot on the landing, something large on her left caught her attention. The moment she focussed on it, she saw that a man had collapsed on the rug before the banister. The sight gave Perrie such a shock that she froze on the spot, and her sudden change in movement elicited her father's immediate concern.
When Adam noticed what Perrie had reacted to, he, as well, gasped.
Perrie could not see the man's face, but she immediately recognised his blond, floppy hair. It could have been either one of the twins, but Perrie immediately felt it in her bones that it was Joe.
"Joe!" she cried, her legs propelling her into a run before she realised what she was doing. She reached him in seconds and Perrie threw herself to the ground beside him, gripping hold of his large shoulder and wrenching him forwards so that he rolled onto his back.
It was him. She knew it was him. His eyes were closed, but she knew it. Perrie cupped his face in her hands and gently shook his head. He looked exhausted and like he carried the weight of the world. He looked like her could hardly bear it anymore, and that was one of the reasons for her certainty.
Behind her, Adam shouted down to the footmen who were carrying Perrie's possessions inside and demanded that they alert the butler of Mr Parish's condition and that a doctor needed to be summoned immediately.
"Joe!"
Perrie heard Ed's voice come from the corridor ahead of her, followed by the sounds of his hurried running to get to their position. He fell to his knees on the opposite side of his brother and placed his hands helplessly on Joe's chest.
"Oh, God, please," Ed prayed under his breath. "This is my fault. It must be me and not him. I am the damned one."
Perrie could hardly focus on what Ed was uttering as her panic overcame her. "Wake up!" she demanded, her voice thick with emotion. "You are only allowed to die if it is me killing you!"
Perrie lowered her head to Joe's chest and said her own prayer of thanks when she heard the steady hum of his heartbeat.
"You keep threatening to drown me and you never do it. You are all mouth and no trousers, Little Imp."
Perrie sat bolt upright with a fright as Joe's voice emerged in a groan. His eyes had fluttered open, and his dark irises were trained on her. His was in pain, perhaps not physically, but he was riddled with it, but there was a warmth that exuded from him when he looked upon her.
Perrie could not believe that actual tears filled her eyes. The stress of the situation had obviously gotten to her. "Call me 'Little Imp' again and I will do it."
Joe smiled. It was a small smile, but a wicked one, and then he whispered, "Little Imp."
"Joe, what happened?" Adam begged to know. "Did an illness suddenly befall you?"
It was then that Perrie noticed that Ed was silent. He was still sitting beside his brother, but he had not spoken a word since Joe had awakened, and he rather looked like he had eaten something incredibly sour. She wondered if the brothers had argued. That had been her first thought. They were so extraordinarily close, and so an argument, she guessed, would have been quite upsetting for the both of them. But what it enough to warrant Joe collapsing, and Ed ... had he just called himself damned?
"Help me get him up, Ed," Adam instructed, bending down to collect one of Joe's arms.
Perrie immediately crawled a few feet away to get out of their path, and Joe's eyes followed her. Ed obeyed, and he collected Joe's other arm. Both men then joisted Joe and helped him get to his feet. Perrie followed suit and hovered awkwardly.
"Thank you, Your Grace," Joe released himself from both of their grasps, and Perrie immediately noticed that he did not thank his brother. They must have quarrelled.
The guilt was written all over Ed's face. He looked as though he would have thrown himself over the banister if it was what Joe wished for him to do.
"I don't know what came over me. I ... I think I am well," Joe stuttered.
Adam was not convinced, and neither was Perrie. Quarrel or not, people did not just collapse because they fought with their siblings. If that were the case, then Perrie would have spent ninety percent of her life unconscious.
"A doctor will be the judge of that," Adam said determinedly. "To bed with you."
***
Perrie was not permitted inside of Joe's bedroom. She had not even considered the impropriety of the action before her father had demanded that she turn back around and wait in the hallway until after the doctor had been.
She sat furiously underneath the window opposite Joe's door and hugged her legs to her chest. She was not at all certain for how long she had waited, nor for how long the doctor had been inside the bedroom with Joe, Adam, and Ed.
But, at some point during her wait, the viscount appeared in the same corridor, and he looked upon Perrie curiously.
"Lady Perrie?" His tone was surprised.
Perrie was certain that the expression of neutrality she meant to give the viscount looked remarkably more like a murderous glare by the way the man recoiled. Nevertheless, he approached her.
"I was not aware that you were to be joining us."
"I was not aware that you needed to be informed of my travel plans," Perrie retorted rudely. It would have been a lie if she thought that she would have made an effort to be more polite under different circumstances.
Joe's entire being had changed the day that man had stepped foot into her house. She had seen this man's lack of sensitivity and care towards Joe, and she had witnessed his tongue lashing with her own two eyes at the ball.
The viscount did not react. She doubted that he would have dared to considering that she was the daughter of his benefactor. Perrie felt as though she suddenly had the power to say whatever she wanted to, and she was so angry with him that her tongue was ready to run away from her.
"What are you doing on the floor?" John Parish then asked her.
Perrie could see a twitch underneath his eye, and she could tell that he was thinking words that he would never say. She wanted to dare him to say them. This man was not her father. She did not have to respect him as Joe did.
"Your son collapsed," Perrie replied pointedly.
John's eyes narrowed. "Which one?" he asked sharply.
"Humour me, Viscount. Which one would you prefer it to be?"
"Do not play games with me, girl."
"Do not call me 'girl', pig," Perrie snapped as she scrambled to her feet. She was suddenly furious at her lack of stature, and she willed herself to be several inches taller so that the viscount could not look down upon her as a child. But she would not be deterred.
"I beg your pardon!"
"You cannot have my pardon," Perrie growled.
"I do not know what Joseph has been telling you, but –"
"Joe has told me nothing," Perrie interrupted angrily. "I have only made my assumptions based upon the fact that you display the warmth of a pond slug when it comes to your son!"
Perrie could see that the viscount was viciously trying to control his temper. She wondered if anyone had ever spoken to him like this before. She doubted many would have the courage. She simply did not care. She felt like she had nothing to lose.
At that moment, Perrie felt like Joe's champion. She fought because he could not.
"You have no idea of what you are speaking about, child," John seethed, his hands balling into fists at his sides. "You are ignorant and entirely out of line. Your father would not have you speaking to a gentleman in this way. Try to remember to behave with an ounce of the decorum expected of a lady of your station."
Perrie ignored him, stepping forward, not blinking as she glared up at the viscount. "You are a disgrace to the name of gentleman," she said pointedly. "If you would like to consult my father about my behaviour, he is in that room caring for your son. How a man like you managed to produce two sons of such decent calibre; I will never understand."
"If you were my daughter, I would give you a thrashing," the viscount seethed. The minute the words escaped his mouth, Perrie could see that they were said without thinking. He clamped his lips together abruptly.
"Do it, I dare you," Perrie urged. If he so much as laid a finger on her, she knew that her father would have him thrown in prison and he could rot there for all she cared.
But the viscount did not touch her. Instead, he turned around and stormed towards Joe's bedroom door, opening it roughly and slamming it behind him so quickly that Perrie did not have a chance to look inside.
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I know some of you have been desperate for Cecily to give the viscount a tongue lashing, but I think it's safe to say that our Perrie has learned a thing or two from the queen.
Hope you enjoyed it!
I reckon John still has a thing or two up his sleeve. And by John, I mean me. And by me, I mean the evil overlord who has control of this tale and all these characters ... and your emotions.
teehee
Anyway, we're heading into the second week of school holidays now. I can't believe one week is down already. One week to go, and I know it will fly.
Happy Orthodox Easter to all who celebrated this weekend. My bf's family are Greek, and so I celebrated my first Greek Easter, and I totally felt like Ian in My Big Fat Greek Wedding going "Cheestro Nesti!" meanwhile I was being introduced to new family members, and the first thing they said to me was, "I hear you don't eat much!"
Greek culture is honestly ace. I love it. Even if I don't eat enough for them to be satisfied hahaha
Vote and comment xxx