When the second remove was cleared away, Lady Balley stood and Cate followed her lead. She was not surprised when Lady Balley led the way back upstairs to the bedroom, without stopping in her private sitting room for her customary after-dinner cup of tea. Nor was she disappointed. At one time, when she was about fifteen or sixteen, she had delighted in being asked to stay for tea with her mother. It had felt very adult and intimate. But Lady Balley only ever wished to talk and never to listen. If Cate ever presented a unique opinion, it was sure to be met with blunt scorn or—worse still—a snide little laugh under Lady Balley's breath then otherwise ignored.
No. Solitude, exile was much more comfortable.
Lady Balley stopped at the door after Cate entered the room. "Where is the key?"
"David took it. He does not like me being locked in." Cate was still tipsy, and it made her daring. "He says it is disrespectful."
"Disrespectful!" It was only scorn this time. "That man is not the gentleman I thought he was."
"I don't know why you ever thought so," Cate said. "He does not dress the part. He wears the wrong frock coats. I used to hate it. I don't mind so very much now. I am beginning to suspect the clothes a man wears matter less than who the man is wearing them."
"You prattle nonsense. You are drunk. You will not leave your room. I will not have you speaking with Sophia and Paul. They do not know you are here." Lady Balley pulled the door almost to a close. "I will have a servant in the passage, so do not try to deceive me."
The door shut. Cate sighed heavily then started unlacing the awful dress her mother had set out for her. When she was in her chemise and corset, she felt like herself again, albeit cold. She left the dress in a drab pile on the floor and went to check on Luke. He was sleeping in the cot as she had left him. She rearranged his blanket to be more snug then went to the mirror and started to undo the many pins of her severe chignon. The wind tapped at the window. It would be another damp, cold night, Cate thought. The wind tapped again. Then it began to whisper.
"Cate! Cate!"
Cate swore and dropped her hairbrush. She pulled back the curtains. A ghostly figure stood on the other side of the window, white nightgown flapping in the breeze.
"Let me in!"
"Sophia!" Cate put a hand to her leaping heart. "You— you idiot! What are you doing out there?"
"Let me in!"
Thankfully, Lady Balley had not thought to remove the key from the window lock. Cate unlocked it and pulled her youngest sister into the room. The wind raced in with her. Cate hastily shut the window again so that Luke would not get cold.
"What are you doing!?" Cate hissed, mindful to keep her voice low in case a servant was listening outside. "You could have fallen and killed yourself!"
"At most I would break a leg," Sophia said. "Besides, I'm very careful. No one's ever found out. I've seen the most interesting things, crawling along the window ledges. I know how you made the baby."
"You certainly did not see that!"
"I mean by example, the example being Mrs Lake and Lord Eildon. I can tell you, I am in no hurry to get married now. Though it answers why Mr Lake is always so bad tempered."
"You must not say such things! It is wicked!"
"Mrs Lake is wicked," Sophia said calmly. "I am not. Where's the baby? I've wanted to see him for ever so long." She made a beeline for the cot and scooped Luke into her arms. "Oh, he's beautiful!"
Luke woke blearily and began to cry. Sophia froze.
"What do I do?"
"You give him to me!" Cate carefully took him back and shushed him. "I didn't think you even knew I had a baby. Luke wrote that they had kept it hidden from you and he did not dare explain."
"I put two and two together," Sophia said. "Also, sometimes I listen outside their bedroom window when they talk at night. I told Paul and Madalene. They've sent Madalene to London with Luke and Aunt Mary to buy dresses. She doesn't particularly care about shopping, but she thought she might be able to see you there."
"I can't go to London. My name is forever blackened."
"Scarlet," Sophia suggested. "Scarletted? Scarletened?" She frowned. "Never mind. I have missed you." She gave Cate a quick, rare hug. "They didn't have to send you away. They didn't have to marry you off."
"I'm much happier married and away from them." Cate managed to soothe Luke to a grizzle and put him back in the warmth of his cot and blanket. "David is not the man I thought he was. He is very kind."
"Do you love him?" Sophia asked curiously. "You didn't before."
Cate's heart fluttered. "It is not like that. You understand that Luke is not his baby, don't you?"
"So you named him Luke." Sophia looked annoyed. "You might have been a bit more original. And yes, I do know. That's what the trouble is, isn't it? If it were Captain Demery's baby, it would only be embarrassing. As it is, it's unmentionable and unforgivable." She sighed. "But I forgive you."
"It is not your forgiveness I need. It is David's, and his is not so easily won. Love would be useless to him when he cannot forgive, but I am very thankful for his kindness. I only wish I had seen it for what it is sooner. I did not understand him at all until recently. I have so much to regret, Sophy."
Sophia rolled her eyes. "Well, he did love you once, so it's not all despair and thunderstorms now, is it?"
"You are too young to understand how complicated our marriage is."
"I'm fourteen now. I'm not too young to understand love. I have had my first great passion." Sophia blushed self-consciously. "Father would dismiss him if he knew, so I dare not speak his name. Besides, Madalene promises me that more and greater passions will follow, and I have decided not to throw myself away the way you did. It seems to make everything very difficult."
"I didn't decide to throw myself away. I just... made some terrible mistakes. That's all it was, really. It's not romantic and it's not funny. You seem to think it's funny, Sophia. You always had such a bitter sense of humour."
"Now you sound like Mother. She says the same sort of thing — you always were, you always were. What people always are keeps changing, but it's never anything they want to be. I'm not making fun of you. I climbed all this way to see you and the baby, because it might be the only chance I ever get. I miss you. It's not fair."
Tears welled in Sophia's blue eyes and she blinked them away.
"It won't be the only chance," Cate said. "David has a letter I have written, which he will give to Luke. When you are older, he'll help me talk with you too. It just makes it difficult when Mother and Father—"
She broke off abruptly as someone knocked at the door.
"Quick! Under the bed!"
Before she could even finish speaking, Sophia had disappeared under the bed with an agility born of long practice.
"Come in," Cate called.
The door opened and David came in. Cate let out a sigh of relief.
"Shut it behind you," she said.
"I just wanted—"
"Please!"
He shut the door, frowning.
"And lock it — if you've still got the key."
His frown deepened, but he did as she asked.
"You can come out, Sophia."
There was a scuffling from under the bed and Sophia's head poked out from under the frame, her blonde braids covered in dust.
"I can't come out," she said.
"It's only David. You can trust him."
"I know, but I'm in my nightgown."
And Cate was in her chemise with a corset over the top — which perhaps explained the tint to David's cheeks. Or perhaps it did not. He had seen her in her nightgown before after all, on more than one occasion. What she was wearing now was less revealing than that.
She went to her trunk and got out a dressing gown for Sophia. "Shut your eyes for a minute, David."
He shut his eyes and turned away. Sophia scrambled out from under the bed and snatched the dressing gown around her.
"You can open them again," Cate said. "This is my youngest sister, Sophia. Sophia, this is David. I hope you'll be friends one day."
David bowed to Sophia. Sophia stared at him, looking, for once, like she did not know what to say.
"He's very tall," she said at last.
"How observant of you," Cate said.
"I thought your siblings weren't supposed to see you," David said.
"Sophia has an unusual talent for doing that which she is not supposed to," Cate said drily. "Was there a servant in the gallery? I don't know how to sneak her out. She came in by the window."
"A maid was sitting in the upper hall." David went to the window and looked out. "Are you on the same floor, Sophia?"
"Yes, but the other wing. You can get all the way around by the ledge above the frieze if you're careful. And I am careful."
David looked narrowly at Sophia. "I think she'll be alright to come back the way she came in."
"She'll hurt herself."
"I don't think so. It's at least a foot wide, and she's only little. It's easier to do this kind of thing when you're little. I wouldn't risk it now, myself, but I think she can manage it. She got here safely, after all."
Cate peered out at the ledge. It was broad, yes, but the ground was an awful long way below it. "Do you really think so?"
"You'll take his word for it," Sophia said. "Even though I'm the one who crawled in here in the first place. That's what I call fickle."
"I just want you to be safe, you spoon!"
David made a strange noise in his throat. It took Cate a moment to recognize it as repressed laughter.
"I can see I'm interrupting a family reunion," he said. "I only came to tell you, Cate, that your father has agreed to invest in the mine."
"That's wonderful!" In her relief, Cate moved to hug him but, catching herself in time, clutched at his hands instead. "Oh. I'm so pleased. Is it enough money? Does it make up for Lord Varley?"
"More than. We'll be able to begin the digging in spring." David was smiling down at her, a proper, wide smile. She never saw him smile like this, and it took her breath away. "I hardly had to persuade him. He wanted so very much to beat Lord Varley to the chase. I want to thank you, Cate. You positioned him perfectly for my offer. You were very brave."
There was a strange warmth in David's eyes. And she was still holding his hands, which meant that he was holding hers as he looked down at her. Her heart stammered and stuttered in her chest with sudden anticipation. There was no ground beneath her feet. Nothing but the pressure of his hands on hers and the narrow distance between them.
And then he stepped away. "I could not have asked for more, Cate. You were marvellous tonight. Thank you."
Cate's heart raced. She was still tipsy, perhaps even drunk. Of course he was not going to kiss her. It was just this talk with Sophia that had put it in her mind. Foolish, romantic Sophia, and her contagious imagination.
"And Sophia." David stopped in front of her. "I'm so happy to meet you. It is my sincere wish that Cate will maintain ties with all her siblings, despite your parents trying to keep you apart. You are only young, so there is little I can do yet, but when you are older, when you have a little more independence, we must arrange some avenues of communication. If you visit Brighton, perhaps Cate may find herself coincidentally in Southwick. I'm not above subterfuge for a good cause. For now, I think I might linger in the gallery for a little while and examine the paintings on the walls. Just in case anyone comes too close."
He left the room and shut the door softly behind him.
"You're all pink," Sophia said. "Come to think of it, so was he. Was I de trop?"
"You always are." Cate pressed her palms to her heated cheeks. "Was he really pink? But he wasn't. And I'm only pink because I had far too much wine. You know how it goes to my head."
"You weren't pink before he held your hands," Sophia said. "But he is much nicer than I imagined, so I think I understand."
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2023-04-15: Spoon really was a Regency insult. It sounds so modern to my ears, though. I really like it. I'm going to start using it now.