[i didnt want to wait a year to post this on beeday, so I'm posting it on my name day at least]
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Kai never really experienced huge troubles with long-term memory. In fact, he was able to remember a lot of memories from ages ago – which wasn't always so pleasant but what can he do?
That is unless there isn't alcohol or head trauma involved.
From the last night, he can recall this:
"Next round is on the master of fiyaaa!"
Then it's just black, some blurs and incredible pain. So imagine his surprise when he woke up in his own bed in Cole's arms. And the panic. Of course Cole was his crush, but he didn't want to have it started with zero memory and when he was under the influence.
Then again, Cole wasn't the type to start anything with drunk people, right? Or did they both get drunk? All the thinking made his head hurt more.
His gaze fell on his own body. Thank god, he had clothes on. So nothing terrible happened then, right?
What the hell happened?
"Next round is on the master of fiyaaa!" Kai yelled from the top of the table. His declaration followed an explosion of more excited yells and whoops, making the place even louder – which, apparently, was still possible.
Cole watched him from his place at the bar with an uneasy feeling. This wasn't going to end well at all, that was for sure. Kai loved parties and he loved getting drunk even more. He could never understand it, just the thought of losing his senses and control over himself terrified Cole.
Although, in the end, they both did the same thing, just in a different fashion. While Cole distanced himself with a clear mind, Kai found ways to erase it all while having some fun with company. The more Cole observed him and thought about him, it seemed that Kai was unstable in his nature – but if that was his nature, maybe he was stable, in a way. Consistent. He was a walking oxymoron.
Kai was a loner but when it came to getting attention that helped him forget things, he could become a real party animal. No one outside the monastery truly knew the master of fire but that didn't help Cole soothe the pangs of jealousy as he watched everyone fight for his attention. Cole was very well aware that they had something that could easily beat any of the drunken affection but it still made him clench his fists whenever he saw somebody blush under his fingers.
He knew Kai had eyes only for him even if neither of them would ever admit it but that just never helped calm down his irrational part that wanted to move mountains if it meant getting rid of anyone that stood in their way.
As far as Cole was aware, he has never been like this but that's not the first time Kai made him feel things he's never felt before.
And worst of it all was the fact that it wasn't the first time Cole toyed with the idea of getting drunk himself to destroy whatever blockade was between them. It almost seemed like a good idea... If they were on the same level, it wouldn't be bad, right? And maybe then they could finally get over themselves and finally, finally turn that longing into something more real than a stupid fantasy.
But it was a bad idea. He knew it was a bad idea, which is why all he could do was mindlessly spin the whiskey in his glass, barely drinking any of it.
It was tiring, how all they did was dance around each other, avoiding the moving flames. Eventually, they will have to get burnt for sure. Either that or the flame will die – was that why they were stalling? Avoiding everything in hopes that it will just blow over like a spring shower until there will be nothing to avoid, seriously?
Maybe he wasn't any better than Kai than how he initially thought.
Speaking of Kai, the red ninja was making his way towards him.
"Hey, are you drinking this?" And without waiting for an answer, he grabbed Cole's glass and gulped the contents of it within the blink of an eye. Staring at him, Cole's hand remained in its position, as if it was still holding something.
"I guess I'm supposed to say no, then," Cole deadpanned but Kai was already turned to the bartender, ordering another round for them both. Cole sighed, grabbing the other's shoulder firmly.
"What exactly are you doing?"
"I wanna show you something!"
"Oh, like what? Unhealthy coping mechanism?"
"No, something cool – just watch!" He pushed Cole to the stool and took one of the glasses. His eyebrows scrunched a little as he focused on it. Seconds later, the surface of the beverage lit up along with Kai's eyes. Then he chugged the drink just like before, this time with a proud smile. Cole lifted an eyebrow.
"Don't act like it didn't just wow you."
"Kai, why are you doing this?"
"I'm twenty-fucking-two!" he exclaimed. "Isn't that time to celebrate? One more year farther away from the childhood I never had!"
"Kai..." He caught his arm, trying to get him closer. But the clouded look in his eyes assured Cole that today was too late to try and fish him out of the lake. The booze has done its thing and until he sobers up, there is no sense in trying to talk Kai through it.
"Come on, just drink some water, we could talk about this instead."
Kai tugged on his arm but didn't use all his strength to get out of Cole's grip. "But this is way more fun!"
"Momentarily."
"Why did you come when you're just being a party pooper?"
Upon his words, Cole let go and turned to his new glass. "Because someone has to look after you," he replied, knowing damn well that wasn't exactly the truth. The truth was, that Cole wasn't even sure why he came. He hated seeing Kai like it, Zane themself offered to do something but Cole insisted. And why? He just couldn't tell.
As he got lost in his thoughts again, he didn't even notice when exactly Kai walked away. All he knew was that the next moment he turned back, his Firefly was lost in the crowd again.
Cole groaned and put his head on the bar. Everything was ridiculous. At any time, and he knew that well too, he could always take Kai out of there, cut him off alcohol, help him cope in better ways and yet all he did was sit at the stupid bar and be an enabler to his self-destructive behaviour. And why? All because he was too scared to take the wrong step and lose him.
So, as stated previously, it was all ridiculous.
The rock-solid, reliable master of earth was completely helpless. And the worst thing was that Kai had to pay for it all.
Turning his head, he stared at the glass as it changed colours in the flashing lights. When did it all go wrong? he wanted to ask but he knew the answer even before he could finish that thought. Ever since the beginning. Before even anything could get screwed up. They were simply destined to be messed up, isn't that how it always goes with the chosen ones?
At least taking care of the fireball that Kai was allowed Cole to forget about his own problems. Which was ironic because Kai himself was one of Cole's biggest problems. Or something that tied them together.
Another eruption of loud whoops caught Cole's attention and when he looked up – of course it was Kai who became once more the center of attention. But before Cole could even understand anything, his fellow ninja stumbled and disappeared in the crowd that began gasping.
That was enough for Cole. If he was going to get himself hurt physically, it was time to go home.
Cole shot up in his seat, downed the drink and left the glass there to watch his desperate attempts to push his way through the crowd of people.
"Excuse me. Sorry. Could you– could you just let me– thanks." He was losing his patience – just another sign of Kai's effect on him. He was patient. He was! But when it came to Kai he just turned to some desperate mode, especially when there was a chance of him getting hurt.
"Kai, what the hell are you doing?"
"Cole! There you are!"
It was unsettling how fast Kai was, how he didn't have any chance to react. His arms just suddenly were around his neck and they were dangerously face to face. Cole scrunched up his nose at the scent of alcohol that was now so strong.
"I missed you."
"We just talked a while ago, Kai."
"Doesn't matter!"
How come he was so close but still felt they were so far apart?
"Did you get hurt?" He wanted to look him over but Kai's grip was surprisingly strong and so he was left to watch the upside-down face that haunted him everywhere. What would be a pleasant equivalent of haunting? Because as much of a curse it was, Kai's face was still nice to look at, he couldn't blame his mind for getting it stuck there. But that's just spiralling in the wrong direction.
"I did fall but if it was for you then it's fine."
Cole groaned and rolled his eyes at his response. He should've seen it coming.
"Have you heard of Spider-Man kisses?" Just when Kai lifted his head up, his eyes twinkling with mischievous excitement, Cole backed away, somehow managing to get out of Kai's hold.
"No, Kai, stop." However, words like these barely worked on Kai. He tried to turn around while sitting up at the same time, which only resulted in him falling once more.
"Ow, fuck." Kai groaned on the ground, clutching his head. "Two times in row, are you kidding me." Kneeling there with him, Cole took Kai's head in his hands as the red ninja sat up to look for any visible injuries.
"Could you settle down for a second? You're gonna get yourself a concussion and I don't think that would be fun with a hangover." Despite his scolding tone, they both knew Cole was being as caring as he always was. Even after everything Kai did that night, Cole was there by his side to check up on him.
"You care so much about me but you won't let me kiss you," Kai muttered in his drunken sulking.
"Kai, please."
The brunet shook him by his shoulders, his pain long forgotten. "No, Cole, why won't you just let this happen?"
"Could we not discuss this in front of other people?"
"To hell with them!" he exclaimed, clinging onto his shoulders as if letting go would send him to drown. It probably would, in a way. "Cole, we know we love each other. I love you! Why can't we just do this?"
"Because I don't want to depend on alcohol to open up about our feelings!" he finally snapped. "Kai, you always do this when you get drunk and then you forget all about it and I'm starting to get tired. Why can't we do this when we're both in our right states of mind?"
The master of fire was crying now. "I'm sorry."
And Cole wiped his tears off, gently as ever, and said, "Let's just go home, okay?" When Kai nodded, Cole got them both up and supported Kai all the way back to their vehicle.
"I love you, I really, really do," Kai murmured from his seat as Cole sat into the driver's one and turned on autopilot. But before he could turn to Kai and answer with something, his Firefly has fallen asleep. That's how easy it was. Cole was left to sigh and let the car get them back home where they would go back to how things always are.
"Do you wanna hear the long story or the short one?" Cole muttered, his eyes still closed. Why did he even ask? He already knew the answer without Kai having to say anything.
"Short story, short, my head hurts too much for your long stories."
"You got drunk, fell on your head twice and then I took you home. There. Good night."
"Why was I ever climbing up on tables?"
"Good, you're remembering stuff. Now go to sleep, it's too early and I'm not going to go get you any pills, I'm too tired for that." Cole shuffled a little, trying to go back to the oblivion but it seemed it wasn't going to be so easy.
"Wait, wait, wait." As Kai kept moving, Cole was forced to open his eyes to look at him. "Did something happen between us?" Kai asked just as their eyes met.
"No." No hesitation, that was good.
"Then why are you in my bed?"
"I'm not in your bed, if anything, you're in my bed because, as always, you begged me to stay with you."
Kai hummed and with that, Cole assumed the conversation to be over. Which meant he could close his eyes again, get comfortable in the sheets along with Kai and sleep off the fatigue he felt after staying up so late in such an exhausting place. But thanks to Kai being in his hold, he felt his uneasiness which led to him being unable to rest himself.
He opened his eyes, no matter how much he didn't want to. "What?"
"Something happened between us."
"Nothing happened, Kai. Go to sleep."
"You're angry, so something happened." Cole sighed. Perhaps in frustration, perhaps to brace himself for the upcoming question. "What did I do, Cole?"
"Nothing."
"I said it, didn't I?"
"You're probably still drunk, let's just sleep."
However, doing the complete opposite, Kai sat up, getting Cole rid of some of the soothing warmth as he untangled himself from his arms. Sighing again, Cole opened his eyes and looked up at Kai as the red ninja turned to him.
"Why can't we talk about it?"
"Because we're two messed up guys with their own issues that they rather avoid than face them and whatever we have is one of those things."
"But Jay and Nya didn't have that much of a problem. Zane and Pixal are fine, why can't we?"
Cole raised his eyebrows. "Do I have to repeat myself?" He tugged on Kai's arm. "Can we please discuss this later? I'm seriously tired and I bet your head's killing you too." Instead of replying, Kai huffed and eventually lay back down next to him, cuddling back up into his arms.
"I'll give up drinking," he muttered into his chest as Cole began dozing off again. "I did it several times before, I'll do it again," he swore. "And then I'll make you happy again."