****Im working tomorrow so I don't know if ill be able to update tomorrow sorry guys. So here's another chapter for y'all. ****
I stepped through the doorway carefully, ducking in and lightly setting my bags down. There was a looming staircase, smooth wooden railing leading to an upper level. It was beautiful, and I wouldn't expect any less from Ronnie.
He deserved it, he grew up with little, and now he's making it big and he's got a nice house and he can pay the bills and it must be so fucking nice for him to come home to this and walk through his rooms and just know that he fucking made it, he made it.
Then there was a clicking sound, the sound of nails scratching the floor, and all of a sudden Ronnie was kneeling down and he was attacked with kisses, knocked backwards from the force.
I watched with a smile, happy to see Ronnie so happy. He was grinning and he held his arms out to let Charlie hug him, embracing him with all of his might. And Charlie was wagging his tail, his whole body wriggling.
Then Ronnie looked over to me and leaned to the side. "Go get her Charlie!" He said in a high voice that people just automatically did when talking to a pet or child. And Charlie came tumbling towards me. I took a step back, nervous, and ended up falling on my butt. I wasn't scared of Charlie, I was just surprised. He kind of reminded me of the guard dogs at the prison, and that reminded me of how He would threaten to set the dogs on me if I didn't obey Him...
But Charlie wasn't like those dogs, he wasn't trained to attack, his lope was casual, his tail wagging, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, and it looked like he was smiling as he pounded over to me.
Charlie jumped up on his paws and leaned into my chest, sniffing me softly before giving me a hesitant lick on the cheek. I couldn't help but grin, and I moved my hand slowly up, petting the bridge of his nose with my finger.
He seemed to like that, and he licked my face again, wriggling and leaning into me, rubbing his head on my chest and trying to get closer to me. He was telling me he liked me.......thank hell for that, I was worried he'd hate me.
I started rubbing his sides and grinning, cooing to him and scratching him. I blushed when I saw Ronnie smiling over at us.
I heard the sound of feet pounding, and soon enough B-Lay was standing next to Ronnie. They did the bro-hug and I peered at them shyly, embarrassed and nervous. B-Lay was a good friend of Ronnie's-what if he didn't like me?
"So this is the Ryker? She's pretty, I'll give you that. Not your usual type, but that's good cause you always seem to date the mean whores. And if you don't claim her I think Charlie may steal her from you" I heard B-Lay say, and I blushed, trying to keep all my attention on Charlie, who was rubbing his face against me to tell me he wanted me to pet him more.
I gave Charlie a kiss on the head and stood up, wringing my hands and holding my arms close to my sides awkwardly.
"Um, hello B-Lay" I said softly, taking a meager step towards them. "Aw, she's just nervous to meet you, she's worried you won't like her" Ronnie teased, and he grabbed my arm softly, pulling me over.
"Aw girl, you alright. If Ronnie likes ya, then I like ya. Unless you a backstabbing hoe. But in that case, Ronnie probably wouldn't like you so it's all good" B-Lay said to me, and I nodded meekly.
I don't think I'm a backstabbing hoe. Though, would using drugs count as stabbing Ronnie in the back.....?
B-Lay held his hand out and I took it, expecting a handshake, but instead I was pulled into his chest in a gentle bro-hug. I awkwardly put my arm around him to pat his back and then he let me go, smiling.
I was tired, but I didn't want to crash when I had just met Ronnie's friend, it might be rude to him and B-Lay.....
I ended up staying up a little later with them, sitting on the couch with a ball game on, and listening to them talk. B-Lay asked me some questions in the beginning, and I tried to answer honestly but in a way to withhold information that may make me out as bad or give away how hurt I was. I didn't like answering personal questions, I just stuck with facts that he probably already knew parts of. I tried to keep it simple.
I tried really hard to stay up, but it was only 8:30 when I collapsed on the arm-rest and fell asleep.
I don't know if Ronnie brought me up to bed right away or if he just let me rest there for a while until he went to sleep and then brought me up, but when I woke up next I was laying in a soft bed with an air comforter that felt like a cloud floating on my body. It was the single most comfortable bed I've ever laid in.
I found that he had taken off my leather jacket for me, and I panicked for a bit. But if he had found my stuff, he would've woken me up I'm sure. So then I was safe...?
I found it laying on a chair, and grabbed it quickly, clutching it to my chest, checking to see if I could feel the stuff in my pocket.
I wandered for a while until I found the bathroom. I went to the bathroom and then I pulled out my stuff, getting it all ready.
I leaned against the sink and glared at myself in the mirror. I was going to shame Ronnie's house by using heroin in his bathroom. I felt disgusting and disrespectful, and I really tried not to, but the withdrawal symptoms were getting so bad I wanted to smack my head against the wall and into the mirror.
I finally gave in and injected it quickly, wincing and glaring at myself the entire time. I hated myself for doing it, but I felt like I had to. I would die without it, the withdrawal was so bad, the voice was so bad, everything was so bad and the only thing that helped was heroin.
No, that's not true! Ronnie helps!
Well, okay yes, but not in this way. He makes it easier but he doesn't make it go away. And heroin makes it go away, even if it's only for a little bit. Heroin makes me forget. And when I remember, it makes the pain all the more bad, all the worse, and so I keep having to use heroin, and use more and more because my body gets used to it and I need more to get the same affect.
I put the stuff in my jackets secret inside pocket and then I wandered back. I got lost, peering in all these different rooms that were unfamiliar. Ronnie said he would give me a tour of the house tomorrow.
I finally found Ronnie's bedroom, and I tip-toed, laying my jacket back across the chair like I found it. I looked over to the bed and saw Ronnie, his dark hair contrasting with the pure white pillow. His arms were spread out, his mouth open, and a peaceful expression on his face.
What I wouldn't give to be able to be that peaceful right now.....
I pulled back the comforter and sat down, laying my face in my hands for a while.
I'm a disappointment.
I've shamed Ronnie
Betrayed him.
I've shamed his house.
I've ruined the innocence and purity of his house.
And I would ruin everything with my addiction.
But I couldn't fucking help myself, it was so hard to stop, nearly impossible to stop!
I finally calmed down a bit, and my eyes wouldn't stay open anymore. I lay back and moved my feet under the covers, and then I turned onto my stomach and pulled the comforter up over me.
I buried my face in the pillow and slept a blank, empty sleep.