The rest of our set went by in a blur. I didn't want it to end. I would live on that stage if given the chance. Walking off the stage, that performance high was still pumping through me. I was swarmed by Anise, Will, and a few others congratulating me on an amazing set. I had a smile plastered on my face I thought would never going to leave, but then my eyes connected with Elenore's. I saw the teary expression on her face as she turned away. My smile dropped as I followed after her. I looked over my shoulder for a second to see where the boy was but I didn't see him.
I followed Elenore into a small washroom with only two stalls. She checked the stalls as I locked the door. When she finally looked at me, I could see the tears in her eyes. "Melody, I'm so sorry... I-I didn't think... I should- fuck I should have done so much differently."
"Yeah, no fucking shit." I snapped, "Fucking hell, having to talk to your fucking–well whatever the fuck he is to you–I still fucking hated it! I want to hate him so much. I want to hate him because he gets to be with you out in the world. Do you realize how much I wish I was him? Getting to just hold your hand in public, getting to kiss you whenever I want, and all that other shit. All I've wanted to do is just tell my parents that I met this girl who I love with all my heart but I can't. The only thing that kept me with you was the fact that no one got to be that for you, but then I found out about Damien."
"I thought you knew." She whispered as she looked at the floor. She couldn't even look at me.
"You shouldn't assume that shit, ever. If you want to get in a relationship with someone, hell even if it is just sexual, you should disclose anyone else you're fucking or dating or even have a crush on. I'll admit, I should have initiated that talk but I also didn't have anything to disclose so it wasn't on my mind." Hearing Elenore scoff made me pause what I was saying. "What? What the fuck is wrong with what I said."
"What about Anise?"
"What the fuck about her? She isn't a part of this."
"Oh don't give me that! You two are way too close and the way she looks at you, fucking hell, don't act like there isn't something there. I saw you two out on the deck at Will's housewarming. All cuddled up by yourselves. I've seen her hanging off of you all night. There's no way you haven't fucked her!"
"Are you fucking kidding me? She's my manager and that's it! I went out on that deck because I needed to be alone, to process the fact that I had to pretend I didn't love you in front of my closest friends, and she has social anxiety and needed a break from people. We talked about work and Aunt Mel and all that other shit. We sat close because it was fucking freezing! Holy fucking shit. She's been near me all night because I have had a rough fucking week trying to process this fucking fuck up of a fucking relationship. She's the only reason I haven't completely spiraled. Did you know I've betrayed every single one of my morals and convictions to be with you? Everyone thinks I'm fucking crazy for even giving you a fucking way back so sorry I needed my friends to support me."
"Everyone? You told people about us? Melody! I- fuck I- what the actual fuck is wrong with you?"
"Me?!" I let out a humourless laugh. "They fucking figured it out! It's not like it was fucking hard. We spent every single waking moment we possibly could together and then I meet your boyfriend and I turn into a fucking wreck and you're nowhere to be seen. They put two and two together because they are not fucking idiots! They're nosey fuckers who have been worried about me for months!"
She stepped back running her hands through her blond locks. "Fuck!" She yelled as she sat on the bathroom floor. And buried her head in her hands. I could see the way her entire body shook. "This... this is getting too big. I-I don't know. I don't know what to do."
I knelt down in front of her and lifted her head so she could look me in the eyes. I know I was hurt and angry, but this was someone that I loved... love... I don't fucking know, but the main point is that I don't want to see her this scared. "You trust me, don't you Elenore?" I asked. She nodded without letting her eyes leave mine, "They're not going to tell. We won't out you, no matter what happens with you and me. Your secret is safe."
Her eyes began to well up again. "Thank you. I don't deserve you, Melody. You're too fucking good for me."
I wasn't sure what to say about that. I wasn't sure she was wrong. "It's what anyone should do. No one deserves to be outed if they're not ready. Even though I am pissed at you and I hate what you've done to me, I still can't hurt you or anyone else like that."
She sniffed, "I really am sorry. I'm breaking up with Damien soon, I promise. I just need some time to work something out with my team."
I sighed and pushed myself up standing. "I need to stick to what I said. When I leave LA, either you are publicly single or I am done."
She nodded, "Yes, of course. I'll do my best. I'm doing my best. I promise. I love you so much Melody. I'll do whatever it takes to be with you again."
It didn't feel like it. "Goodbye Elenore." I went to the door, quickly turning the lock before exiting in a rush. I couldn't stay in there a second longer alone with her. I didn't fucking trust myself to stick to my word. Almost every fibre of my being wanted to run back in there, pin her against the wall and devour her. I was weak when it came to Elenore. I wished I hadn't run back into that bathroom but I needed to make sure she was okay. I loved her, which fucking sucked sometimes.
I went back out to where my friends had gathered. My eye caught Anise's and I could see worry painted in her gaze. I just gave her a small smile before I joined in the conversation around me. I didn't look back to the bathroom Elenore was sure to be sneaking out of. I put that smile on my face and tried to forget the girl who was breaking my heart.
Instead, I found myself ruminating on Will's words about Anise from earlier, I think she could be just what you need. What if he was right? That there was something there? I knew she cared about me, that much was obvious, but what if she only liked me as a friend? I could make things fucking awkward as hell if I tried to pursue something with her. Plus, my head is still fucked up about Elenore. Fuck, Elenore thought there was something there too. That night on Will's deck, was there something more to that interaction than I thought? I liked cuddling up to her, laughing with her, and just being goofy in general with her. I let go of all of my worries about Elenore when I was with her. If I had met Anise first, would I have pursued things with her?
I walked over to the bar and got another beer. I leaned back and just watched. I watched how Anise moved through the group and how she made sure everyone was taken care of at all times. It was beyond the job description; she was attentive even to those who weren't her clients. She was just a kind person. She walked over to Will and Hillary as they spoke to an older man and made sure they both were good. I smiled as I watched the three of them, she just fit right in there with my brother and my probably-one-day-sister-in-law.
Will's attention shifted to his phone and he excused himself from the conversation. As soon as I saw that easy going smile, I knew it was probably one of our parents. I started to look away, but then a weird expression came over Will's face. I was crossing the room before it even had the time to form on his face. I knew him almost as well as a person can know a person and I know when something's wrong with him. If our parents were calling about something bad happening, I wanted to know and I wanted to know now.
I crossed the room in no time flat until I was standing in front of him as he ran his hand down his face, "I need to think on it. I-I just can't... no thanks for telling me. I just, need a minute." Will paused as I'm sure someone said something on the other side. "Thanks Dad, I've got to go, I'm at an event and Dee is staring at me wondering what's going on... yeah, I'll tell her. Bye."
"What's going on? Is something wrong? Is everyone okay?" I asked as he hung up the phone.
"Yes, they're all fine. Um... fuck I can't get into it here."
"I'll get a car to take us back to the hotel. Do you want Hillary there?" I asked.
"Do you mind if we talk first? Just us. I know you're going through it right now but I just need to talk to my sister for a bit."
"I've got it. You head outside and I'll worry about the rest."
"You're the best Dee." He gave me a small smile before he started heading outside. I went to Anise first who already had a car outside ready in case something happened between Elenore and I. Hillary wanted to come with us, but she respected that Will needed just needed me to help him with whatever our parents called about right now.
I finally made it back to the car and sat down without speaking. Will was sitting there staring at the divider between us and the driver. When the driver started moving, Will didn't say anything, just kept staring. It was kinda freaking me out. It was a good ten minutes of a silent car ride before Will finally blurted out what was on his mind. "My birth mom showed up at the house. She wants to meet me and I don't know what to do."