Something in me breaks every time I find you smiling through blood stained teeth and injuries.
You're the genesis of it all and just like me you were naive. You're a star and somehow george drowned you and tried so desperately to snuff out rekindling flames.
I stabbed you repeatedly every time I reckoned him my best friend, forgive me marianne.
And as time passed and the sky grew farther away, the earth shook with your love's passing, a version of him shown to everyone else— outsiders who can't spell his last name. It was too sudden, almost planned and I hated every second of the aftermath, hated him— you couldn't come close to where it all happened and I feared your light died completely.
Everything was a wreck george— my love, you passed and so did the leaves of our mango tree, the day was a dull grey and no one— absolutely no one could lift the edge of their lips in your absence.
The mourning, the wails, none of them I could do because I wasn't allowed to and everyone you loved more than us drowned us out with the haunting song of your street name. They sang your tales and escapades, you were a good man george— in the eyes of your worshippers you were a good man.
george, my love and best friend why was marianne exempted from fulfilling hands and loving smiles, hm? Did you perhaps one day draw straws as an excuse— did she pick the shortest one?
I'm aware that dead men tell no tales but explain to me— make me understand why she only got to see the ugliest parts of you. Why'd you set her on fire just to drown her the next, why'd you make me witness that—
So many colourful slurs taint my tongue and fingers— oh all the things I wish I could say to you. You broke my heart before my first boyfriend and kiss, your entitled self ruined my peace and sleep and I am so angry— so so relieved that you're not here.
Make me understand why she deserved that george, why your priorities were strewn in the gutter— why you took delight in our distress.
Why everyone closest to you hates you the most.