Author's POV...
Today was the day of poojai.. The whole village was there.. Even the school works half day only....
As Gowri said Mynthu directly went to the house Shiva was staying in....
She couldn't come out as Mathi was with her till afternoon..... Bhaskar already left there..... The village will be empty today... They conduct this pooja once in 10 years that's why it's special......
The temple was inside the forest...... All the men wouldn't have gone there in the morning itself..... Mathi stayed there to accompany Gowri... Which Gowri didn't expect......
She many times tried to make her agree to go there but Mathi was not ready to leave her alone...
Gowri thanked every God as possible when the driver came and said Mathi's presence was needed there....
As mynthu didn't arrive yet... Saying it as an excuse Gowri managed to stay there......
Mathi agreed and didn't go before keeping 10 men stood outside to guard her..... That made Gowri lose her hope.....
But she knows it's the final chance for her...... She can't let go of this opportunity..... She already tried to escape thrice but couldn't succeed because the villagers saw her at the border she managed to say Mynthu wanted to see..... Thankfully they believed but they informed Mathi about that... After that incident, mathi never left Gowri alone.... Even after erasing her memories mathi is still suspicious about that......
Gowri has to wait till evening because all those who belong to that village have to be present there before the poojai starts..... It will happen all night so she can go out of the bungalow without any tension and fear of getting caught. ...
Slowly the sun starts to retire....... As she believed the goons also left for the poojai. There was a belief if someone missed the pooja then that person would die...all the villagers already doubt that Gowri was not Nila...... So that goons went away to safeguard their life.. ...
Gowri was relieved and about to go out of the main door she remembered something... She hurriedly went inside Mathi's room she searched for something else.......
Just then her fear came back when she heard the jeep sound.......she was sweating badly... Her heart beat at its highest capacity.....
No, it should not happen.... She should not fail again..... She should escape this time.......
As she already switched off all the lights no one couldn't see her in that darkness..... She hid behind the main door......cupped her mouth trying not to make any noise....
"Nila..... Nilaa..... Enga maa iruka..... En varala neee.... Mynthu...... "
(Nila.....Nila....where are you ma...why didn't you came there....Mynthu....)
It's Mathi... She came back after not seeing Gowri and Mynthu..... The driver was outside..... This bungalow is fully soundproof.... They made it like that so that Gowri's scream wouldn't be audible to others in those times when she gets back a glimpse of her past... Because during that time Gowri will behave hyper and shout.....
The set-up they made to keep her with them is going to help Gowri to escape...
Mathi entered through the main door and saw the complete blindness......
She turned to the opposite side where Gowri was hiding as the switchboard is there... When she switched on the light she felt a heavy pain in her head......
The light was on mathi was shocked to see Gowri standing there with a flower vase.... Using that only Gowri hit her head.... She was crying...
Mathi: Nilaa...
Gowri : ilaa...... Naa Nila ila...... Unga ponu ila naa....Nila... 11 varusathuku munadiye sethu poita........
(Nooo....I am not Nila.....I am not your Daughter.....Nila..she is dead 11 years back....she is no more)
Mathi : Nila ena ma solra nee..... Naa un amma da.... Nama family thango... En ipadi la pesura.... Amma un mela evlo pasam vachiruka.....
(Nila what are you saying.....I am your amma da....we are family...why are you talking like this...amma loves you too much da don't you know...)
Mathi tried to move back to open the draw where she always keeps Gowri's Injection for safety... But she couldn't find it there... She was shocked....and looked at Gowri...
Gowri: Anga injection irukathu... Na atha already eduthutein........ And nenga amma ila...... Selfish person... Unga ponu venum nu enoda appa amma kita irunthu ena pirichu vachirukeinga.......
Inimelum mudiyathu..... En family kita poren..... En ponuku ava appa thatha patti lam venum....
(injection won't be there...I already took that one.....and you are not my amma...you both are selfish....just because you couldn't accept your daughter's dismissal you kept me caged here away from my parents......not anymore....I am going back to my parents.....my daughter needs her father and grandparents)
She was shivering yet her words her firm.... Tears were flowing nonstop..... She was broken too.....
Mathi: Nila... Nee thapa purinjikita ma....... Nanga tha ma un family.... Nambu ma...
(Nila...you miss understood ma...we are your family ....trust me ma)
She tried to come closer...... Gowri moved back.....
Gowri ; poi poiya solatheinga.... Inimelum ena ematha mudiyathu...... Ungaluku pona elantha vethanaila apdi paneinga dratha naa othuka matein..
Ungaluku ponu venum nu en family kita irunthu ena pirichathu ilama avangala pathina nyabagam eh ilama paniteinga la....
Ena patha pavama ilaiya ungaluku apdi naa ena thapu panein... En adaiyalathaiye alichitu... Enaku sambanthame ilatha valaikaiya ena vala vacheinnga..... Athu kodumai......... Athu throgam...... Unga ponnu unagala kandipa manika mata.... Nanum manika matein............
(stop lying to me....you can't fool me anymore....I can accept your reasons at all....just because you wanted your daughter you kept me away from my family not only that you erased my memories.....don't you pitied me...what is my fault in all this ....you erased my whole identity and made me live as someone which I am not....that's sin....that's betrayal...your daughter won't forgive your for this ...neither I )
Mathi : Nila..... Pogatha thango.. Na solratha kelu.... Amma nee ilama iruka matein ma..... Amma pavam la....
(Nila....don't go thango...please listen to me.....Amma can't live without you ma...please don't go)
Gowri : En Amma pavam ilaiya....
(Don't you think about My mother .....)
Mathi : Avnga yarune unakum theriyathu enaku theriyathu... Avanga irukangalo iliayo.... Purinjiko thango....
(I don't know who they are.....I don't know they are still alive or not....understand me ma)
Gowri : En Amma vum irukanga appa vum irukar.... Enaku thangachi kuda iruka theriyuma ungaluku....... Elarum naa sethu poitan nu nenachu valthutu irukanga..... Athu evlo kodumai...
(My amma and appa is alive...even I have one sister you know.....they are living all these years thinking that I am dead.....how much painful that would be for them...you ever thought about it)
Mathi: Avangaluku tha nee sethu poita la... Apram ena ma... Enga kodave iru thango......
(for them you are dead right...then what's the problem.....stay with us thango)
Gowri : epadi unagala ipadi pesa mudiyuthu.... Nenga pandrathu thapunu unaku therilaiya.....
(how can you speak like this....don't you realize what ever you did and doing is wrong)
Mathi moved forward to capture Gowri's hand before that Gowri hit her head again making her lose consciousness.... Gowri cried hard...
Gowri: sorry..........I am not this bad... I never wanted to hurt you..... Nenga ena Panirunthalum.... I trusted you..... Naa ungamela unmaiyana anbu than vachein..... Athuku naa anubavikurein....... Apokuda I didn't want to hurt you... Atha amaithuya poga nenachein... Atha kuda nenga enaku vidala la....... Mudinja ena manichidunga.... Ana enala ungala manika mudiyathu..... Naa poren.....
(Sorry...I am not this bad....I never wanted to hurt you...what ever you did....I trusted you loved you which is not fake as yours......may be that's why I am suffering......still I didn't wanted to hurt you that's why I decided to leave silently...you didn't let me do that too......if you can please forgive me.......but I can never forgive you.......I am leaving)
Gowri was broken... But she composed herself and left through the backdoor as the driver was waiting outside the main door...
The village was empty one was there... She ran wiping her tears which were flowing continuously....
She directly went to the House where Shiva stays... She rang the calling bell...
Rudra opened the door...... She looked back at him searching for her daughter... Who was in Shiva's arms sleeping peacefully.....
She gulped...... And took deep breaths to control her breathing to speak...
Gowri : please.... Engaala inga irunthu kootitu poidunga....... Romba neram nama kita ila please....
(please ...take us from here....we don't have much time please...)
Rudra: we are already prepared only waiting for you...... Lets go.....
She directly went to Shiva got Mynthu from him and kissed her head.... Getting known warmth of her mother Mynthu snuggled more into her in sleep.....
Gowri looked at Shiva who was trying to read her.... She broke the eye contact and turned back... Shiva followed her...
He took the driver seat while she say on the passenger seat along with Mynthu on her lap...mynthu hugged her mother and slept again......
As the travel was 1 hour Shiva started the car...
While the others were coming in another car...
There was complete silence inside the car... Gowri was leaning back on the head seat her eyes were still wet and Puffy....her eyes and cheeks were swollen....
Shiva's heart pained seeing her like that...... He never saw his chellama like this much broken..... The only time she cried this much was when her grandmother died... Shiva was there to console her...... Now all he wanted was to hug and wipe her tears and say he was there for her...... But he couldn't...... He doesn't know how much she knows about her self....how much did she knows about him... Them........... He felt too distanced even if she was right beside her.....
Even when she was not with him, he never felt like this...... This feels like travelling with a stranger... He hates this silence that prevails inside the car....
He turned towards her... she was still in the same position... Her eyes were closed.....
He again looked straight... This continued for some time till she spoke...
Gowri: I know I am your wife..... Nenga tha mynthu oda appa.... And enoda husband nu enaku theriyum..
Yes enaku namala pathina ethum nyabagam ila en per utpada......
But I know... I am Gowri... Atha yaralaiyum matha mudiyathu.... Athu tha naa... Athu tha enoda adaiyalam.... Atha naa marnthutein.....
Na Nila nu nambi apdiye valthutein gha..... Satunu enala matha mudiyathu..... Konjam konjama tha enala enoda palaiya valkaikula poga mudiyum....
athuku unga help venum...... Namakula epadi patta relationship irunthuchu epa nama meet panom epadi marriage achunu ethume enaku theriyathu.....
Ungaluku cherishable memories ah iruka ethume enaku theriyathu.......ungoda palaiya wife ah enala iruka mudiyuma nu theriyathu........ungala thirumba love panuveina num theriyathu......Mynthu needs her father... Avaluku avaloda appa pasam kedaikanim.... Athuku nenga ava kuda irukanum.... She can't be without me so enoda presence um nenga bare panikanum....
Ungaluku epadi solrathunu enaku therila.... I know ena vida ungaluku tha ithulam romba pain ah tharum.... I don't want to be the reason behind your pain.......
Ipovum unagaluku naa venuma....... Do you still want me in your life...????????
(I know I am your wife..you are Mynthu's appa also my husband...
yes I don't remember anything about us ...even I don't remember my own name ...
but I know now I am Gowri no one can't change that fact...because that was my original Identity which I forgot....I believed I am Nila and lived all these years as her....I can't change myself abruptly...it would take me more time to accept this reality and get into my old routine....
For that I need your help...I have no idea how we meet..how we got married and how was our relationship...I don't know..
I don't remember those cherishable memories you shared with your wife.... I don't know I can be your old wife.... I don't know I am capable of loving you like that.... Mynthu needs her father... She needs his love....she needs me too... She can't be without me so you have to bare my presense too...
I don't know how to put this in words... I know this will be more painful for you than me... I don't want to be the reason behind your pain.......
Do you think........Do you still want me in your life...????????)
She asked him with so much sadness... Even she couldn't bear that... She doesn't want to hear anything negative about her question... But she wanted to know the answer......she wanted to know if he still wants her in his life..... Is he ready to start everything from scratch.....
The car was stopped abruptly and Shiva was fuming in anger that made her scared..........
Author's Note...
Hello, makkale...
How was the chapter...
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