This chapter is dedicated to Santoro. Thank you for all your support!
It wasn't long before Lyra's family filed out, and it was just me, Lyra, and Penny. Mummy was talking to Melania in the hallway, but quietly so we couldn't hear. I guessed that she was keeping an ear on our conversation as well, paying close attention to the babies. But I thought she was going to let us do whatever we wanted so long as we didn't make any trouble.
"I get lonely sometimes," Lyra said, blushing a little. "I'm glad I could see you. Is it the same for you?"
I guessed the last question was for me; Penny had come round to help babysit for Lyra a few times, but as far as I knew she hadn't been able to talk to Lyra about what she wanted yet. Mummy had told her already that it wasn't good for Lyra to know that there was any drug-related part of her condition, because we didn't want her to blame her family. But I hoped that we could find a way to make everybody happy today.
"I had fun at school today. I couldn't understand all the stuff we were teaching, and I think Mr Woodward was laughing, but I keep trying. I might have to give up school if I can't understand stuff. But it's still nice trying." And then I realised that Lyra had never had an accident at school, so far as I knew. We'd never seen her going all baby-brain, or getting confused in class. Her parents had taken her out of school before she even knew how she would end up feeling, and I wondered what that would be like.
"You got friends?"
"They mostly laugh at her," Penny said, and I knew she was right. "People don't understand. I think you're probably... You know? You wanted to be in charge, and have everybody respect you. I think you would really have hated it if you'd kept going long enough to find out how mean our friends can be."
"I think she's right," I said. "Even Gwen is like really mean to me. Telling me she doesn't want to play with a baby. I don't mind, because I wanted this to happen. And I think enjoying all the cartoons again, and playing with dollies without thinking too much, is worth it. But you cared more about what your friends think, so you probably wouldn't have liked it so much. You're safe."
"Yeah," Lyra said with a little smile. "And there's always the grown-ups looking out for me. It's not that bad, but it's lonely sometimes. I wish I had more friends who'd come to visit. But I'm really happy about coming to see you. It feels like forever since I went anywhere. And I'm not even too... you know... today, so I could probably be out or something if I wanted to."
"Oh, that's cool!" I said. "So what would you be doing?"
"I don't know. Playing in the park, maybe? I kind of... I don't know if this happened because of the naughty stuff I did, so maybe it's better if I try to be good."
"I think so," I mumbled, and I felt a wave of guilt for just a moment. That was exactly what her parents had wanted her to feel, and I knew that it would be good for her in the long run. But I felt bad about letting it happen when I knew the truth. Still, if there was any way I could make this more fun for her, it had to be a good thing. Better than causing so much trouble.
"Hey!" Lyra said, a little grin forming. "If you go all fuzzy before me, maybe I can be the babysitter today. I can be the big one today, that would be fun."
"Yeah!" I said. "Mummy might need help. Specially if there's more than one baby." And then I realised I'd gotten ahead of myself a little bit. "I mean... Wow, how do I say this?"
"Are we allowed to say?" Penny said. "I think I know what you mean, but it's not good to make anybody feel bad. Like..."
"No, I think we got it," I said. "I talked to Lyra before, kind of. About how there was a special treatment that only works if you catch the syndrome early. And I told Mummy I didn't want to because I want to know how this feels."
"I think that's silly," Lyra pointed out. "But if you wanna be the baby..."
"Yeah, I think Penny wants to try it too," I said with a laugh. Penny looked down at her hands and blushed. I knew this would be embarrassing for her, but I wanted to say it in a way that Lyra would understand. And I was sure that Penny wouldn't mind, even if she didn't like the feeling right at this moment. She wanted to feel like a baby sometimes, and blushing was a big part of that. "She got the treatment in time, so she escaped. But I think..."
"I wonder how it would feel," she mumbled. "Maybe I escaped, but I wish I could have tried it a bit first."
"And if she forgets to take her pills, she might go all fuzzy in the head just like us," I said with a big smile. "Maybe that's the best of both worlds. She might be able to try it sometimes, but she can still be a big girl and go to school. I'd be jealous, if this wasn't so much fun."
"Oh, cool!" Lyra giggled. "Well, if you end up being a baby before me, I'll try to help you. Both of you. That sounds like fun."
"It has to be," I said, and all the worries in my mind drifted away. That was what I had hoped she would say, and now the conversation was over, I didn't have to think about anything else. Penny couldn't be a baby often, of course. I knew how much the effects of that stuff could spread out, clouding my mind even when I was back at school afterwards. A day or two without wearing those diapers wasn't enough to completely go back to normal, but that was because Mummy was trying hard to make me a baby. Sometimes she would let me go back to normal for a few days, until I was just playing along, and then ask me if I was still sure that this was a thing I wanted. And I always was. But Penny didn't have a Mummy taking care of all this stuff; and if she wasn't back to normal when she went home, her family would be all worried.
"Are you girls having fun already?" Mummy asked, coming in with a big smile. "Now, we've decided that Lyra can stay over tonight if she wants. Are you okay if your family goes home and it's just us looking after you, Lyra? I'm sure Penny and Alice will both try their best to make you comfortable."
"Yeah," Lyra said, with a nod and a smile. "I promise I'll be good."
"That's good to know," Mummy said with a smile. "But I think I heard you say something... Penny?"
"Yes?" she gulped, suddenly nervous like she'd suddenly been caught breaking the rules. Or like she wasn't sure if she'd told Lyra more than she was supposed to know; although it had mostly been me actually sharing information.
"Did I hear you say that you might have done something... or not done something... so you might be a little bit babyish tonight as well?"
"I... umm..." Penny stammered. We'd been talking about what she could do, not what she had done. And of course, she knew that Mummy knew the truth anyway. So that question was really a discreet way of asking if she was still sure; if she wanted to be a baby after all our discussions. "Maybe. I'm sorry. I just want to see if..."
"It's okay, sweetie. I'm used to looking after babies by now. But I need you to promise that you'll be a good girl. You won't be a handful and throw a tantrum, will you, if something doesn't go your way?"
"I promise," she said. "I mean... I'll do my best. But it might... might happen this afternoon?"
"If you forgot your pills it might," Mummy answered her. Not stern, just speaking extra clearly to make sure she was understood. "It might even last until morning. So perhaps you'd better stay here so there's nobody worrying about you back home. Make sure you're completely back to normal, so your Mummy isn't upset. Okay?"
"Uhh... yeah!" Penny beamed. "I can... that will be great. Thank you, thank you so much."
"It's the least I could do. Every little one deserves a moment of happiness. Isn't that right, Alice?"
We were all going to be happy. Somehow Mummy had made everything work. And as we settled down in front of the TV to watch cartoons, I knew that this would be the best sleepover ever.
Author's Note: My apologies for the sporadic posting so far this month. I've been a little distracted by packing up all my stuff, because I'm moving out of my house in 4 hours, and will be moving back to my Mum's house on Thursday/Friday when they get back from their holiday. (The time between then will be spent visiting Peterborough, London, and Bristol, because my most effective writing time is on trains. If anybody in the UK wants to see me, let me know)
This is the scene in front of me now: