(065a - The Inevitable Part 1)
I had to divide this chapter into two because of how lengthy it was getting. So, for people that were expecting Simi and his Dad having a banter in this chapter, I'm sorry to burst your bubble but it will be in the next... and I'm not sure when I'll be chanced to update that. Soon, I hope.
But oh well, let's enjoy this chapter✨
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𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀
(Simisola André Jordan)
You know that moment, when your body is certain that it has gotten enough sleep, even to last a lifetime. When your body is certain that it's already day break, and it's time for you to wake up and get out of bed. When you can sense that the entire world is awake, except you.
That's precisely how I was feeling currently, even in my pseudo-unconscious state.
And from a distance, I could hear the birds twittering and cars moving on the road, people talking on the streets. That was enough to tell me that it was time to get up as well.
But I would rather not wake up, even though I knew it was time to.
I still didn't want to.
Maybe because deep down, despite my semi-consciousness, I knew that waking up would mean I'd have to face the painful and awful reality that was yesterday. The painful and dreadful reality that I was yet to come to terms with. Waking up would mean I'd have to face it... eventually.
And I wasn't ready for that.
Not now. Not yet, at least.
All I wanted to do was sleep and keep sleeping, and continue to hope that it was all one bad dream that I'll soon wake up from.
But it wasn't. And I knew I wasn't.
And I also knew that I'd have to wake up eventually, maybe sooner because it might seem like I was dead if I slept any longer than that. And as much as I wish I could stay in bed all day, shielding myself from reality, heaven knows I'm not that kind of person.
Besides, being unproductive would make me think about it more, right? I need to keep my mind as busy as possible.
So, I forced my eyes open, squinting slightly when the ray of sunlight from the window directly opposite the bed penetrated and nearly blinded me, causing a sharp pain to pierce through my skull.
"Urghh!"
I groaned, turning away from the window to face the wall on the other side. I stayed still, allowing my eyes to adjust and take in my unfamiliar surroundings. Soon, it started to make sense to me and everything wasn't unfamiliar anymore.
I was in Hilary's bedroom.
I can remember coming here last night. In fact, I can remember everything that happened last night quite vividly. Right from finding out about my mum, to almost having an accident on the highway, to showing up at here and breaking down in her arms...
... To her helping me forget, even if it was only for a moment.
My eyes fluttered close, and a shaky breath escaped my lips
That last moment, I wanted to go back to it... even if it's only for a minute. Being in her arms was therapeutic for me. It was more than a distraction. It was peace, even if it was only for a fleeting moment. Not only that, but it was exactly what I needed, especially after getting the kind of news I did. Being in her arms made me feel life... and trust me, I died several times last night.
Everything about Hilary felt like home.
But I knew for a fact that there was only so much she could do. There was so much being in her arms could do.
And one thing it couldn't do was detour the inevitable.
I exhaled again, sitting up on the bed and looking around the room. I saw my phone on the bedside table and picked it up, putting it on to check if I had gotten any more phone calls from Toyosi. There were none, asides the ones I already saw from last night. I wasn't sure if I should be glad she finally gave up trying to get through to me... or be sad she didn't try hard enough.
Well, you weren't picking her calls. My subconscious reminded me.
I checked to see if there was anyone from Dad.
None.
Typical. I scoffed out a mirthless laugh.
Normally, I wouldn't have been surprised not to see any missed calls from him because I can't even remember the last time I spoke to that man on the phone, but this stung. It stung bad. Maybe because this was an entirely different situation.
I must really mean nothing to him, uhn.
A sad smile made its way to my lips. Shaking my head, I dropped my phone back on the table with a clank.
The dark feeling I woke up with would only intensify and get worse if I kept having thoughts like these, and I knew I needed to dispel them as quickly as possible, else I might just start crying again. I needed to occupy my mind with something else... someone else.
Hilary...
She wasn't by my side when I woke up, and she wasn't anywhere in the room. Plus, I couldn't hear the shower running, so I knew she wasn't in the bathroom either. Resolving that she was probably downstairs, I got off the bed completely, went to the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth and wash my face, then walked out of the room before starting to make my way down the stairs.
I was just beneath the stairs when I started hearing singing from where, I assumed, was the kitchen. It was faint, barely audible because of the distance between the stairs and the kitchen, but I could still hear it rather clearly. In fact, it drew me in immediately.
Grabbed me, if I'm being literal.
Like someone controlled by hypnosis, I followed the sound— the beautiful sound, till I was standing at the entrance of the kitchen; my guess was right.
And yeah, it was Hilary. She was the one making that beautiful sound, right from her lips. She was backing me, oblivious to my presence at the door, singing along to the music that was playing through her AirPods.
An unconscious sigh escaped my lips, utterly mesmerized by the sight of her, by the beautiful tone that was her voice. The gloom I woke up and came downstairs with immediately dissipated into thin air, and tranquility washed over me... just by her presence and the essence of her around me.
That was how much power she had over my being, even without realizing it.
I leaned against the doorpost and kept my eyes on her, wanting to keep watching her, taking her in. She continued to sing without any care in the world, singing exactly on tune, imputing riffs and runs while breaking eggs into a bowl, completely unaware of my presence in the kitchen with her.
Then, when she put a little dance into the mix, I couldn't stop the low chuckle from escaping my lips. I bit down against my lower lip to stop it from getting louder, my eyes running down her body in a subconscious sweep, that had my lips widening in a smile.
She was still wearing what she had on last night; a baggy shirt over a pair of shorts - her dark flawless legs completely bare to my gaze and open to my touch.
And even knows I enjoyed touching her. I literally ache to touch her... but not half as much as I enjoyed her touching me, not the way I enjoyed feeling her hands on me.
The feel of her hands on my skin was something that would always be imprinted on my body, in my mind and in my heart. Sometimes, she touches me without actually touching me. She would touch me with her eyes, just by looking at me. And then her smile...
Heck, she'd smile at me and immediately, I'd know I'm in trouble. The good kind of trouble.
Do you have any idea how beautiful it is to lose yourself in someone and not feel lost at the same time? That's exactly how I felt with Hilary.
Everything about her had me hooked on her. Like some type of drug. I was addicted to everything she made me feel, especially how safe she made me feel anytime I'm with her. We met and everything changed for me... for the both of us. With her, I don't have to hide.
I am addicted to her.
I am in love with her.
And I don't think I'll ever stop. I'm far too gone to stop.
When I decided that I've spent enough time staring, I finally pushed myself off the door post and glided towards Hilary, making sure I was as discreet and as stealth as possible in my steps. And she was still oblivious to my presence till I was right behind her.
Then I wrapped my hands around her from behind.
She froze beneath my touch, tensing up immediately. But it was only for a second because soon she relaxed, obviously figuring out that it was me behind her. A breathy laugh escaped her lips as she removed the AirPods and placed them back it the case.
"You are finally awake." She mumbled, glancing at me from the corner of her eyes.
"Hmm."
I hummed in response, burying my face in her neck and drowning in her scent. This was an action I knew she really liked, and I could tell by the soft sigh that escaped her lips. I took in the freshness of her scent. I could tell that she had already taken her bath.
It made her smell divine.
"Good Morning." I breathed against her skin, feeling her shiver against me.
"Good Morning." She whispered back, before turning around to face me, that contagious, beautiful smile playing on her lips.
Then she trailed her hands up my bare chest - that same gesture that had turned me so on last night - before throwing them around my neck. Instinctively, I tightened my hands around her waist, pulling her closer to me, watching that smile on her lips widen, blooming, her eyes twinkling with so much glee.
It made my heart swell in my chest, knowing that I was the reason for that smile on her lips, that glow on her face. It made me feel worthy, like I was doing something right with it's her. And even though there were some things that weren't right with me, I wanted everything to be right with her.
I just want to make her happy, for as long as I can.
"I was really looking forward to waking up with you beside me," I said. She giggled, throwing her head back.
"Cheesy much?" She bobbed her head to the side, peering at me with a look. I chuckled, shaking my head.
"I'm actually serious." I told her, and she looked on. "I wanted to wake up and see you beside me. Maybe my day wouldn't have started with so many bad thoughts if that happened."
That last part was supposed to be in my inside voice, but it came out loud. Hilary's smile faltered a bit, and I knew that she immediately understood what I meant. But in a blink, the smile was back, soft, and warm.
"I'm sorry..." She whispered, her hand coming to cradle my face, her thumb sweeping over my cheeks. The sorry wasn't just an apology for not being in there when I woke. It was something more.
I just knew it.
"My mum wanted to video call," She started to explain. "And I'm pretty sure she'd have taken the next flight from Portharcourt back to Lagos if she sighted a boy sleeping in my bed." She bobbed her head to the side and gave me a knowing look when she said that, making me laugh out.
That makes sense.
"Fair enough." I chipped when my laughter subsided.
"Besides," She started again. "You were pretty exhausted after last night. You needed the extra time to sleep in." She said, and my heart swelled even more.
Ever considerate.
"Yeah, I kind of did." I admitted. "Thank you, Hilary." I whispered, squeezing her waist.
"Hey, what was that thing you said?" She looked up thoughtfully for a moment before looking at me with a twinkle in her eyes. "Friends don't say thank you." She said, bringing back that phrase I said to her when we were just getting to know each other.
That felt like forever ago.
Look at how far we have come.
"Well..." I drawled out with my voice dropping an octave lower, jerking her toward me in a way that caught her unawares. She made a sound, followed by a giggle, and wrapped her hand again around my neck.
"I can hardly call us friends now," My tone was suggestive, my lips turned in a smirk and my brows quirked in a denoting tug. She caught right on.
"Oh yeah?"
Her voice was reduced to a whisper, her tone just as sensual as mine, if not more. Her eyes were fluttering softly and... fuck me... so seductive. And when she pulled her lower lip between her teeth, I nearly lost my shit.
Fuck Me! I cussed inwardly, unable to stop my eyes from warring down to look at them.
I know I've been doing that a lot lately, looking at her lips - her perfectly shaped lips. I wasn't even trying to be subtle anymore, didn't care if I was starting top much. All my mind could focus on was the craving and desperation to kiss her getting more and more overwhelming with every passing moment.
And it's not as if I haven't had an opportunity- or better still opportunities to do that, and it's not like she hasn't given me the green light to- because she has... severally. Sometimes, I even think she wants it more than I do. Or maybe we both want it just as much. Last night was one of the numerous opportunities I've had to make that move, but I couldn't.
Not because I didn't want to, but because Hilary deserves so much better than a kiss for distraction.
A kiss for just that moment.
I wanted our kiss to be so much more than that.
All the opportunities I've been getting were not the best time to make that kind of move, and ascend that level of intimacy with her... not yet.
And after what she told me last night, how she hasn't had her first kiss yet, just like I haven't, the need to make that day, whenever it is, a fantastic, beautiful and memorable day for her... for both of us, trumps my need to kiss her.
I need that day to be perfect.
No crisis.
No interruptions.
Just the two of us in our feelings and emotions, marking a massive landmark in our relationship. And after that... I'll make her mine.
Unrestricted. Unapologetically... and Completely.
If she'd let me.
Shey you dey whine me ni? Is that supposed to be a thought? My subconscious fired at me
"Did you sleep okay?" She asked me, her fingers breezily trailing down the skin of my neck, twirling the strands of hair at a spot. It felt so nice, I almost started feeling dizzy.
"I slept okay," I answered her, my voice coming out breathless on its volition. "I don't think I really had a choice with you by my side." I teased, my lips stretching in a grin. She rolled her eyes comically.
"Then with me by your side, you should have slept more than okay."
And she punctuated that statement by unlocking her arms from around my neck and pushing me away from her with it. I laughed, veering back at the impact of her push.
"Come on," I said between laughter. "You know, that's not what I meant." I tried to do damage control to the situation, but she just takes at me and turned back around to continue what she was doing before I interrupted her, paying me no heed.
I chuckled, closing the gap between us again.
"Baby," I whispered, wrapping my hands around her again.
"Leave me jhor." She shrugged me off, but not hard enough to make me pull away from her. It was intentional, I could tell, and from the smile I was able to detect playing on her lips from the corner of my eyes, I knew she was just playing around with me.
My smile widened, and I leaned closer, pressing a kiss to her cheeks, eliciting a sugary giggle from her.
"What are we making?" I asked, looking over her shoulder to the batter mix she was whisking in the bowl. "Pancake?" I guessed.
"Smart guess." She affirmed with a smile. "Pancake and scrambled eggs." She added, glancing at me from the corner of her eyes. "Have you ever tried it before?" She asked me.
I shook my head.
"Bare pancakes. Pancake with syrup. Pancake with honey. Pancake with chocolate. Pancake with fruits," I listed all the kinds of pancakes I've tried. "But never with scrambled eggs." I told her, and immediately, a glint of excitement appeared in her eyes.
"Then you are in for a treat!" She clapped with glee. "I promise you, you'll enjoy it." She said. Her excitement made me happy.
"I don't doubt that for one second." I answered. "Can I help with anything?" I asked, looking around the kitchen to see what I could assist with.
"Oh no!" Hilary quickly shook her head, pushing me backwards till I was sitting in one of the high stools by the ceramic counter. "You are a guest, so you are not doing jack. I'll do all the cooking, and you are going to watch me." She instructed me, waving the whisk in my face.
My lips pulled up in an immediate smirk at that last statement.
"Watch you? I have absolutely no problem with that. I can legit do that all day." I told her, propping my head up with my knuckles. She laughed.
"That was so cheesy." She said to me.
"But you loved it." I countered her, my left brow tugged up in a knowing look.
"I will neither affirm nor deny that claim." She said, turning away from me. I laughed, settling down on the seat to do exactly what she said I should.
Watch her.
We made small talk, my eyes following in her every move as she moved through the length and breadth of the kitchen, between the gas cooker and the sink. And when I tried to assist her again, she waved her hot spatula she used to flip the pancakes in the pans at me, warning me not to dare.
Her acting all bossy was just as comic as it was hot, and I couldn't help but laugh and be awed by her at the same time. All the while... my sadness completely forgotten.
I wasn't certain if she was doing it deliberately, or if it wasn't intentional, but everything about her energy this morning had the atmosphere saturated with positivity and beautiful unnameable things. And after yesterday, I needed all the positives and beautiful things I could get to uphold me against the storm I knew was coming.
The storm that was already here, actually.
And I really appreciated that Hilary wasn't bringing last night up as well, even though I was sure she definitely had questions. I wasn't sure I'll ever be in the right state of mind to talk about the fact that my mum is dying. Heck, I haven't even accepted it yet.
But avoiding it won't change anything, Simi. A still small voice at the back of my mind said to me.
"Bon Appétit."
Hilary's voice tore through my thoughts, alerting me back to the present. I looked down to see a plate of stacked pancakes with scrambled eggs around and two sausages. When I looked back up, Hilary was peering down at me with a small smile.
I looked back down at the plate in front of me, knowing that she caught me on my mind trip.
"Thank you," I mustered a smile of appreciation, looking at her again.
"You zoned out on me." Hilary said, a proof that she caught me in my mind trip and probably knew exactly what I was thinking about. She had a gentle look on her face, a look that made me feel completely at ease.
I exhaled.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"It's okay." She whispered back, running her hands through my hair.
Two words, but inbuilt with so much understanding, punctuated with that beautiful smile of hers. I smiled back in appreciation.
"Eat up." She pushed the plate closer to me and immediately, I dug in, stabbing my fork to cut out a piece of pancake, adding a bit of scrambled eggs before taking that piece into my mouth.
Okay... this is so good! I nearly moaned out at how pleasing it was to my taste buds.
"This is so good." I took another piece to my mouth. Hilary's smile widened.
"I told you." She gloated. I didn't even hold it over her head that she was gloating. She made a masterpiece. I can gladly add Pancakes with scrambled eggs to my list.
"Enjoy your breakfast," she said. "But eat quick so that you can go and shower. We have a big day today." She added. My forehead creased, confused.
"A big day?" I asked. "Is it someone's birthday?" I quirked my brows inquisitively. She chuckled.
"No. It's not anyone's birthday." She answered. "Actually, there is somewhere I want to take you to." She told me.
"Where?"
"It's a surprise." She smirked.
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"You still haven't told me where we are going."
I stated as Hilary and I made our way out of the house and started walking toward the pavilion where two cars were packed. I didn't realize how cold it was until I got out, so I quickly threw on my hoodie, shoving my hands into the pocket to keep them warm.
"Do you not understand the concept of a surprise, Simisola André Jordan?" Hilary fired me a question, saying my name with a lot more sophistication and swish than it actually was.
I don't think anyone has ever called my full name with so much... beaut. I almost wanted to ask her to repeat it, just to relish in the feeling it brought a little more.
But I had to focus.
"I do understand the concept of surprise," I answered her question. "But as of recent, I'm not exactly a big fan." I added.
That caused her to stop walking and turn to look at me. I didn't need to spell it out for her to know that I was referring to the soul-shattering surprise I got from my family yesterday.
Hilary peered at me through soft eyes for a moment, a rather thoughtful expression on her face, as if she was contemplating telling me whatever surprise she had for me. Then she sighed, shaking her head.
"As much as I understand you perfectly, I can't tell you what this surprise is." She wasn't budging, eliciting a sigh from me. "It's best if you don't know now, but it will make sense soon." She added, and that made me even more inquisitive.
"Now you just made me a million times more curious." I told her. She chuckled softly, moving closer till she was standing in front of me, intense gaze trained on me.
"Do you trust me?" She asked.
"You know I do." I answered in a heartbeat. It was an indisputable fact.
"Then trust me when I say I'm doing this for your own good." She said, punctuating that statement with a small, reassuring smile before starting to make her way towards the cars again. I stood frozen for a bit, trying to figure out if it was my mind playing a trick on me, or if her statement had an undertone to it.
Like she was talking about something different... but still had something to do with me.
What was that about?
"Can I at least drive?" I asked when I saw her already standing by one of the cars – the bigger one, by the way, about to open the driver's door. "I think it would be safer if I drove." I added, walking to where she stood.
She stopped short, folding her hands across her chest and flashing me a look.
"Do you think I can't drive?" She fired at me, her neatly carved brows quirked up in question. I opened my mouth to speak, but then I wasn't exactly sure how to answer that question, so I closed my mouth.
Technically, I didn't even know she could drive. And I couldn't answer the question because I have never seen Hilary behind the wheels. But that didn't change the fact that for the past few months, after the water, cars have been a big problem with Hilary, especially the front seats.
And now, she was so eager to jump behind the wheels, and I wasn't so sure about that.
Sure, wherever it was we were going, or whatever it was we were going to do would really help keep my kind busy from the horrors of my dark thoughts, but this wasn't about me. It was about her, and the last thing I wanted was for Hilary to get hurt.
I didn't know if it was the excitement of making such a big breakthrough in the water yesterday that was getting to her. And as much as I was happy for her and wanted nothing more than to help her to further in her healing journey, that also didn't change the fact that she was still in recovery.
The last place I think she needed to be now was behind the wheels.
"What are you scared of?"
Hilary's soft voice pierced through my thoughts, followed by the feel of her warm palm against the skin of my face. I came back to reality and looked at her, standing right in front of me, concern hitched in her features.
"I'm not scared. I'm worried about you." I clarified, telling her exactly what I felt. "I didn't even know you could drive till now, but I still don't think it's time for you to make that move now." I looked at her to see if she understood me. She nodded, but said nothing, and I took that as my cue to go on.
"You just made your first break in swimming, Hilary." I started to explain. "And as much as I want you to keep healing, I don't think it's the right time to get behind the wheels yet, especially since you had such a big phobia of staying in the front seat. I don't want anything to happen to you."
I laid out my worries and doubts on her laps, letting her know exactly what I thought.
That's how relationships work, right? Getting to know each other's opinions about a particular issue?
I was starting to get pretty worried when Hilary didn't respond. But just when I thought she might have taken offense, her lips broke into that contagious, beautiful smile of her. Gentle and understanding.
Automatically, I visibly relaxed.
"Look at you getting all worried about me." she cooed softly, poking my chest with her index finger. A sigh-like laugh escaped my lips.
"When don't I worry about you?" It was a rhetorical question, but when her smile deepened, I knew she already answered the question in her head.
"I'm sorry if it seems like I'm dictating to you–" I started to apologize, just in case.
"No." She quickly cut me off, shaking her head. "You are not dictating to me. You care about me, and I really like that you don't ever hide it. It's one of the many things I love about you, Simi."
I couldn't stop the grin that stretched across my lips.
"You are still going to give me a list." I teased, and she laughed, shaking her head at me.
"But you are going to have to trust me on this one, Simi." She said to me, holding my gaze with hers, as if she wanted me to see into her soul and hold unto it. "I might be a little rusty with driving because I haven't done it in a while and Henry couldn't teach me so much before be passed–"
The fact that she just chipped in her brother's demise ever so casually between conversations didn't go unnoticed to me, and for some reason, it made me insanely proud of Hilary that she had gotten to that level in her growth.
It made me happy.
"— But that's why I have you," She was still speaking. "You are going to guide me, and it's not even going to be for a long time because we aren't going far. We are only going a few streets outside the estate, and we are going to me fine. You will be fine. I promise." She said to me.
There was a way she emphasized on You – me, in her last statement that gave off that double meaning again.
"At least let me drive," I beckoned to her to give me the keys, but she shook her head.
"Trust me when I say I need to be the one to do this." She maintained, still holding my gaze. "I need to do this for you, Simi. Please let me."
There it was again. The words with double meanings.
I desperately wanted to believe that it was just my mind playing tricks on me and reading meaning into what wasn't. But now, I couldn't for the life of me shake off the fact that there had to be something more to this place Hilary was taking me to.
To this surprise.
And the fact that I didn't know how to feel about it made me a bit on edge.
But I trust Hilary. No exaggeration, but I trust her with my life.
"Okay." I finally agreed. There was no point going back and forth on this, especially since Hilary was clearly not changing her mind.
Her lips broke into a smile at my agreement, and finally pressed on the remote of the car, unlocking the car before going in. She had mentioned that the security was off-duty every weekend, so I went to open the gate for her to reverse out.
She turned on the ignition and started driving, reversing the car steadily, yet smoothly out of the gates and into the tarred streets of the estate. I locked the gate and soon joined her in the car, and she started to drive... rather slowly.
"Slow poke." I teased her with a smirk. She passed me a look.
"Do you want me to drive faster?" She asked in a way that sounded like a threat, and an expression that felt like she was indeed threatening me. "Because I can."
My eyes widened when she stepped on the accelerator, increasing the speed of the car, then sharply hit the brakes, sending me forward with a force that had me almost smashing my head against the dashboard in front of me if I didn't hold out my hand and break my fall.
Jesus Christ!
I quickly hooked my seat belt in, flashing Hilary an are you out of your mind look. She gave me the I'm still the one behind the wheels look, and I quickly mellowed.
"Oya, sorry na."
I apologized, knowing that she had my life in her hands now... literally. Her face transcended to a proud look, and her lips in a smirk. But she didn't attempt to end my life again, and thank God for that. I was finally able to breathe properly.
We drove out of the estate and into the ever busy roads of Lagos, and just like Hilary had said, we only drove a few streets down before she made an unfamiliar turn down an equally unfamiliar road. I tried to keep my mind open to wherever she was taking me too, zeroing my mind on the fact that she said it was a surprise.
Surprises are good, right? Especially when they come from the girl you are head over heels for.
Well, I was wrong. Because I didn't expect the surprise I got, especially from Hilary.
Driving further into the street, she made another turn that led to an open space, a park of some sort. For the festive reason, this park was rather scanty... maybe even abandoned because there was no one there... well, except for the car parked a little distance away from us. I didn't think this was our stop, so I expected Hilary to drive further. But she stopped the car.
I turned to look at her.
"Is this our stop?" I asked her. She nodded, saying nothing else to me. Heck, she didn't even look at me.
That felt suspicious, made the edginess I was feeling earlier to come back again.
"But why are we here? Of all places?" I asked her, still trying to keep my mind open. But when she finally turned to look at me, the open-mindedness disappeared.
The look in her eyes, her entire expression, suddenly made me feel unhinged, uncomfortable. I couldn't place my finger on the type of emotion in her eyes. It wasn't bad, but it was enough to make me feel like something more was up.
Did it have to do with her? Is she okay?
I quickly unhooked my seatbelt.
"Is everything okay?" I asked, worries hitched at every corner of my face. "Are you okay?" I got a little more specific. Her being this way was a little scary.
"I'm fine." She answered, punctuating her words with a smile that did nothing to ease the tension I was feeling. "I just– We..." she trailed off when she realized she was stuttering, sighing. "We are here to see someone." She finally said after gathering her words.
My face contorted in a small frown.
"We are here to see someone." I repeated. "Who is that?" I asked.
She opened her mouth to speak but got interrupted by the ringing of her phone. She exhaled again, picking it up from the compartment between our seats. She didn't pick the call though, she just glanced ahead, then turned back to look at me.
"Do you trust me?" She asked, a hint of desperation in her tone that did absolutely nothing to dissipate the disturbing aura in the air. The way she was asking this now was far different from the way she asked me earlier, and it somehow scared me.
"Hilary, what's going–" I tried to ask again, but then she placed her hand on the side of my face, cutting me off mid-sentence.
"Do you trust me?" She repeated the question, the desperation in her voice loud and clear now. I searched her eyes for a moment, hoping to get a hint of what this was about. But I didn't see anything.
I had no other choice.
"Of course I do. You know I do." I answered, my voice in a whisper. Her lips tugged in a half-smile at that, and then she nodded.
"Wait here." She said, and didn't wait for my response before opening the door and jumping down from the car, shutting it behind her.
I kept my eyes steadily on hers, my heart pounding in my chest at the fear of the unknown, watching her make her way towards the black keep that was parked ahead, the same one I noticed when we got here. I furrowed my brows, wondering if it was someone she knew and why they were meeting at such an abandoned place.
But my curiosity go served, and my breath caught in my throat when the owner of the car came down to meet Hilary half way.
Oh, fuck no!
It wasn't someone she knew. Or rather, someone she wasn't supposed to know, or meet yet.
It was someone I knew.
My darling sister.
What the hell!
I stared at the both of them in utmost shock as they came together and started talking, having a conversation. I was trying to hold it together and get over my shock while still wondering what they were doing together.
But when Hilary made a gesture to the car and Toyosi followed her gaze, I couldn't stand it anymore.
I swung the car door open, got down, and slammed it shut, alerting both of them to me. Then I started matching my way viciously towards them, both confused and grossly annoyed.
"Simi," Hilary called out with her hands held out to me as if she was trying to stop me. But I didn't let her go on talking.
"What's this?" I asked, gesturing to both of them. "What's going on here?" I demanded, looking between them, mostly at Hilary to ask for an explanation because I didn't want to talk to Toyosi.
But she spoke, "André," reaching out to touch me.
I jerked away immediately.
"Don't touch me." I stabbed my pointer out to her warningly. "I wasn't speaking to you." I didn't spare her a second glance after.
Never have I ever been rude to my sister. Never.
We have had sibling squabbles, and thrown words at each other in an argument but I have never been rude, never talked down on her.
Until now.
And when her face fell, I felt prick my chest, the usual brotherly instinct keeping in that I had hurt her, but the way she hurt me yesterday trumped and overcame that.
I looked at Hilary. Her gaze was on me, forlorn and apologetic.
"Tell me what's going on right now," I demanded again, trying to keep my voice and my entire demeanor as controlled as possible. "Why the hell is she here?" I jabbed my finger in Toyosi's direction.
Hilary held my gaze with her pleading ones, her hands gesturing for me to calm down.
"You have to relax–" She started to say, but I was far from relaxed.
"Tell me!"
My voice came out in a snap before I could stop it, reverberating across the open space. From my peripheral vision, I saw Toyosi flinch slightly. Hilary didn't as much as blink like she had seen this reaction coming a mile away.
She only exhaled.
"I told her to meet with us here." She answered, her tone calm and a perfect contrast to mine. Her words were seemingly not hurtful, but they hurt me and made my heart fall to the pit of my stomach.
"You called her?" I queried, the hurt in my voice clear as day.
"I didn't – Simi, wait!" She yelled after me as I didn't wait for her to speak again before I started making my way back to the car, resolving that I'd drive back to her place myself and leave them both here to do whatever.
I can't begin to explain how hurt I felt.
Hilary didn't know what transpired between Toyosi and me last night at the hospital but she had a pretty good idea that I was pissed at her and didn't want to speak to her when she called last night. And I couldn't help but feel betrayed that she went behind my back to speak to her.
She shouldn't have done this. She shouldn't have!
I suddenly felt overwhelmed, everything I have tried to bottle up since last night rushing back in at an unimaginable wave, filling me with a rush. Tears began to well up in my eyes before I could stop them.
"Simi, wait!" Hilary was in front of me in a second, hands out and splayed over my chest to stop me from moving any further.
"If you will just calm down and let me explain–"
"It was not in your place!"
The words left my mouth before I could stop them, and I instantly regretted them the moment they did. But Hilary didn't look the least bit hurt by them. If anything, her gaze softened and there was understanding in her eyes. Her hands didn't leave my chest either.
"I know."
She agreed easily with me, much to my surprise.
"It wasn't in my place to ask her here, and I'm sorry I made such a decision without involving you. I'm so sorry, Simi."
"Then why did you?" I queried her, my voice quivering and tears gathering in my eyes, threatening to fall.
"Because I had to." She defended, her voice still calm like she was trying to reason with me. "With the way you just reacted now, if I told you we were meeting up with your sister, you wouldn't have come with me." She explained.
She wasn't wrong. I wouldn't have.
"And it's not as if I called her first," she went on. "She called again last night after you slept and I picked up the call. She desperately wanted to speak with you but I couldn't wake you up. Then she explained things to me..." She trailed off, giving me a look.
I picked up on what she meant.
"Things," I repeated.
"She didn't mean to hurt you, Simi," Hilary whispered.
I shook my head. "You don't know that." I countered, sniffing back my tears.
"I do, and you do too." She maintained, looking at me in a way that made me feel like she was looking at my very soul, seeing everything she needed to cast me.
I tried averting my gaze from her but she didn't let me, bringing her hands from my chest to cup my face, holding it in place so that I won't look away from her.
"Look at me,"
She cajoled, tilting her head in a way that made her look at me better, right in the eye. I had no other choice but to look at her, to hold her gaze just as she was holding mine.
"You are hurting. I get it." She stated matter of factly, and beads of tears dropped from my eyes momentarily. She swiftly cleaned it. "I'm sorry for what's happening to you, to your family at this moment. But this is not the time to be away from them, from your mum, and this is definitely not the time to be mad at them."
"They kept her illness away from me for months, Hilary,"
I couldn't even recognize my own voice when I spoke. I sounded so pained, so hurt, and the realization of it all slowly dawned on me, nearly knocking the breath right out of me.
"Maybe I expected it from Dad, but not from her. Definitely not her." I gestured behind me to where Toyosi stood, watching all this in silence.
"That's what makes this hurt so much more because she acted like she didn't know while I struggled to figure out what was going on with Mum behind the walls of the hospital, lamenting my frustrations to her, she acted like she had no fucking clue!" My voice rose an octave higher, but still, Hilary was unmoving by my outburst.
"It hurts, Hilary. It hurts like a bitch." My voice was reduced to a broken whisper now, and I couldn't stop the tears from cascading down my eyes this time.
"I get it, Simi," Hilary spoke softly, in understanding. "Believe me, I do. But are you really going to let your hurt and anger keep you away from your mum, especially at a time like this?" She asked me, and I didn't have an answer.
She saw that as an opportunity to go on.
"Trust me, you are justified for feeling hurt. You are justified for being angry as long as you want to be. But now that you have gotten what you wanted, free access to your mum, are you really going to throw it away be away because you are pissed at your sister and your Dad? Simi, look at it that way." She tried to pacify me, pleading with me.
And I did look at it that way. That's why I was speechless, sobbing softly.
"It's so hard." I choke out. "I'm not ready." I shook my head. A sigh escaped Hilary's lips.
"We never are," She said to me, chuckling lightly afterward. "God knows, if I could have one more second with Henry, I would. Heck. I'd kill for it.–
–But I can't. You can. You can have weeks or months with your mum. You have time, Simi. Time to be with her, to be there for her, to make new beautiful memories with her. Trust me, you don't have to sit back and allow fear and uncertainty to rule. If you do that, you will have so many regrets, and I swear, you don't want to live these kinds of regrets. I've been there, and it's not pretty.–
You have to do this, Simi. If not for anyone else, for your mum."
I understood. I understood it all, and I knew that she was right. But accepting this would also mean that I have accepted that I might lose her.
"I-I don't want to lose her, Hilary," my voice broke, and more tears fell through my eyes in torrents.
Hilary sighed and drew me in for a hug. I easily fell into her arms, hugging her while sobbing silently.
"You might not have to," She whispered while holding me dearly. "But you'll never know if you don't go to see her. I bet she wants to see you too, Simi. I'm sure she misses you so much."
A small, involuntary smile quirked at the corners of my lips.
"I miss her too."
"Then, go see her. Go see your mum."
I held on to that, with a new seed of hope that Hilary had planted. I didn't want to hope, so that I won't be disappointed, but Hilary made me want to hang on to faith, hope, to positivity. And I did.
For mum.
Hilary pulled away slightly, touching her forehead to mine. I sighed, mostly in exhaustion.
"Come with me." I requested.
"I can't." She looked at me apologetically. "This is something you need to do with your family." It hurt, but I understood her perfectly.
"But I'll call you," She quickly added, to make up for not coming with me. "And I'm going to check up on you as much as I can. And I'll come to see you too, whenever you are ready to have me.–"
I liked the sound of that.
"–But this is something you need to do with your family."
I nodded, accepting that.
"I'm with you." She whispered, caressing the sides of my face breezily, nicely. I sighed, leaning into her touch and taking in her words.
That seemingly simple statement reached the core of my soul and touched me deeply. This was exactly what I meant when I said Hilary knew how to touch me without actually touching me.
The hold this girl has over my very being transcended this physical plain. And even in my storm, she made me feel complete peace.
It was almost unnatural. Maybe it was unnatural. But it was beautiful beyond anything I have ever seen.
She was- is Beautiful.
"I Love you, Hilary."
The words had no problem flowing out of my lips, no obstructions whatsoever, like breaths right into the wind.
Hilary's tensed beneath my touch, her eyes opening so that she could look at me. I held her gaze with me, the weight of my words registering in my mind. But did I regret saying them?
No.
Not now, and most definitely not ever.
"You didn't just say that..." Hilary's voice came out just as breathless as mine, sounding like something in between a laugh and a gasp.
It made me smile.
"I did." I wasn't going back now. "And I mean it with everything in me." I brought my hands to my face as she had mine in hers, feeling the warm skin under my cold palms.
"I love you, Hilary Idara Eghosa... with all my heart."
I held her gaze as I said every word, letting her know exactly how I felt for her. And saying it out loud felt so liberating. I didn't expect her to say it back, and she didn't. Her eyes watered, and a sigh-like laugh escaped her lips, and that was enough for me.
Hilary led me back to where my sister was still standing, patiently if I might add. When Toyosi tried to speak, I just bypassed her and went to the car she brought. It was the only car asides from Hilary's in the vicinity so I didn't have any trouble locating it.
I wasn't going to make it easy for Toyosi. Not without a good explanation of course.
"Give him time. He'll come around." I heard Hilary tell her before I entered the car.
"I understand. Thank you, Hilary... for everything." Toyosi responded with gratitude in her voice.
I waited in the car as they spoke for a moment. Then, they hugged. Against my better judgment, I smiled at the image but quickly caught myself before it got full-blown, looking away from them.
Soon, Toyosi entered the car through the driver's side. I looked back out the window to see that Hilary was still standing there. She smiled at me as if to tell me it will all be okay. I wanted to believe her. Eventually, I will.
So, I smiled back, waving at her. She waved back, her gentle eyes still on me.
And till Toyosi pulled out of her parking space, reversed, and drove out of the street, her gentle eyes remained on me.
In a way, it made me feel protected.
𝐀/𝐍
Le sigh 🥹. Simi said he loves Hilary 😭🔥❤️.
Now we are waiting for Hilary to say her own back🌚.
The chapter was pretty emotional, but trust me, it's not going to be as emotional as the next one. We will finally get to see Simi with him mum again, and there might be a lot of ugly crying 😭. Omo, the bond between those two is not the normal mother-son bond.
Will Simi get to forgive Toyosi🥹? We'll find out in the next chapter.
Till then, you know the drill. I'll see you when I see you. Kisses ❤️.