The first day of classes had officially commenced.
The students of Hogwarts hustled to their first classes. The first floor of the castle was filled with frantic first years in perfect pristine robes anxiously looking for the right room. Poking their heads into a classroom, eyes wide full of wonder and confusion before scrambling to the next, all of their books stacked high in their arms obstructing their vision or in their school bag weighing them down as they hurried on to the next.
And up above were Seventh years lazily walking the routes they had memorized over seemingly a life time of routine living within the castle, boys with their ties loosely done lounging against the walls watching as they filled and dispersed with the peers they had come to known. Girls talked in hushed whispers sharing secretive glances before bursting into giggles.
The emotions that encased the first day of classes expended not only to those of the living, but also the dead inhabitants of the castle.
Along the fifth floor, Peeves bellowing laughter could be heard as he relentlessly teased students for their not so secret secrets as he pranked and made the students first days a living hell. Light hearted jinxes and useless charms bounced off the walls all around the castle because finally, the underage students were allowed to use their magic.
While Hogwarts seemed to be business as usual, the students and teachers alike could all agree on one thing. Something was different.
Whether it was the way that the breeze drifting along the corridors seemed unusually cold for the beginning of September or the myriad of Daily Prophets in students hands and bags that carried the name of two fifth year students.
Something was different, and another thing everybody could agree on was that it didn't feel like a good kind of different.
The hallways and corridors slowly deserted as students made their way into their respective classes, the bell tower ringing signaling the official beginning of the year.
Professor Flitwicks charms class was completely full this year, all students wearing either red or gold as the fifth year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs took their seats.
Averly Malfoy sat at the back of the class, her back straight and chin held high, a pillar of steel. At first glance her peers wouldn't bat an eye at her, she looked just as she usually did- bitchy and abrasive. However, as Harry Potter entered the classroom of jubliant students, he saw her.
Harry would always see Averly, for everything she hid under that cold unwavering mask, Harry and Lee Jordan noticed everything that the Malfoy girl didn't want people to notice about her. Even when Harry wanted nothing more than to throttle her when her harsh tongue would hurl insults at him or she would clench her jaw and pay him no mind as if he didn't exist, he couldn't help the pull he felts towards her. He couldn't help but get lost in her entire essence every time he looked at her.
Harry drank in the sight of her. The way the button down school uniform hugged her curves in all the right places, the neat braid her snow white hair fell in-without a single hair misplaced. But, the longer he looked at her, he also noticed the way she hid her hands under her desk, white knuckles clenched around each other because damn, they wouldn't stop fucking shaking, and the way those icelandic blue eyes subtly swept over each corner of the room as if a monster was going to jump out from the shadows.
Harry hadn't realized how long he had been staring at her until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and turned to see his curly haired best friend, only to see that her eyes were trained on the same girl that his was. With a sigh and large concerned eyes Hermione dropped her hand.
"I am really am worried about her Harry. This isn't her, not really in anyway."
Harry couldn't bring himself to say a single word, partially because he knew that her statement was true, and partially because every time he began to think about all of the trauma she was dealing with, began to think about Draco, her father, about that damned graveyard, or those pieces of shits who lay their hands upon her, who bruised her skin, who defiled her body, he began to see red. Every muscle in his body would go tight and his skin would feel as though it was burning him alive with pure and utter rage.
Hermione shot him a sideways look as he rolled his neck, a new habit that the bright witch didn't fail to pick up on, "I'm going to go sit with Ron- perhaps you should sit with her"
With a shove towards the Malfoy daughter , Harry took a deep breathe preparing himself for the viper that was Averly to strike at him. With the screeching of the chair along the hardwood floor Harry had expected a snide remark about how she hadn't invited him to sit next to her or at the very least a malicious glare tossed his way, but instead he received nothing, nothing at all. When he retrieved his quill and parchment from his bag, he finally let himself release the breathe he was holding, and instead of relief his gut just bubbled with concern.
Harry shifted his seat slightly closer, acutely aware of the traitorous eyes that peered at them and the whispers that erupted as soon as he took the seat beside her, and by the way her jaw was clenched and the bead of sweat threatening to form on her forehead, he knew she noticed it too.
"Hey, are you okay?" Harry wasn't sure if she had even heard him, trying to speak as quietly as possible to try to give themselves a sense of privacy as Flitwick gathered thee attention of the busybody teenagers and began going over the course materials.
Averly released a shuttering breath, her eyes scanning the room to make sure nobody was watching before her eyes landed on his own. As her icy eyes met his, he saw nothing but unwavering solid steel, the harsh jagged edges of the ice clashing with the light grey, he could find nothing in those eyes, no signs of what she was feeling, of the hurricane of thoughts and emotions that were pounding through her head rattling her skull, the way her heart was hammering into her ribcage so hard she thought it might fly right out of her chest, the blood in her palms from digging her nails into the pale flesh in a sorry attempt to get her hands to stop trembling.
"You can talk to me" He whispered "and if you don't want to talk and this is too much for you I will walk out of this classroom with you right now"
While Averly would never admit it, never to a single soul, but those words meant more to her than anyone would ever know. Maybe if they were in a different place, not having to tune out the nasally voice of Flitwick or dodge the lethal stares of their classmates, maybe in another world where Averly wasn't horrified with the person she had become, where she had other ways to defend herself besides her mean tongue and inpenatrable barriers, maybe she would've opened up to him.
But she had already let him see too much, with running to him in the middle of the night, letting tears fall down her face as he held her in dark common room only lit by the simmering embers in the fire, kissing him. If she let Harry Potter look into the window of her mind, he would run away screaming from the monsters that lye within. So, pushing her shoulders back and swiveling to look at the chalk board that was now filled with writing-
"I'm fine."
-
Averly hadn't retained one single word that the Professor said. Every time she would begin to focus on the chalkboard her mind would drift into the abyss, every sound or smell would bring her back into the hell that was her mind. She would find herself thinking back to how those hands felt as they rained on her body, the taste of blood as it pooled in her lip from the relentless boots that hit her jaw, her skin itching from her scrubbing the skin til it was raw because she couldn't stop feeling dirty, every time she showered the water couldn't get hot enough, the soap wasn't strong enough to get them off of her. She would hear Voldemort's laugh as her head hit the stone stairs, and would look up to see those silver masks in her face- on her body.
And then she would snap out of it. Her eyes would refocus, hands unclench to rub her palms off on the inside of her jacket and try to pretend that she didn't catch every. single. one of Harry's worried stares.
The bell chimed signaling the end of class. In a flurry all of the students leaped out of their seats shoving their supplies into their bags, not wanting to waste a single second. to get out of there.
But Averly sat.
and sat.
Because over her dead body would she enter that bustled hallway, filled to the brim with students knocking in to her, all around her, drowning her in the crowd. No, she would wait.
She would wait until there was only a few other students- not completely empty, but empty enough that she could see every direction, catalog each face she saw.
"Let me know when your'e ready and we will walk to our next class"
Averly almost lept out of her seat, not even realizing that Harry had been waiting for her.
"You don't have to wait for me Potter, I'm fine." she tossed him a heated glare realizing how weak this made her look.
"I didn't ask if you were fine- I told you to let me know when you were ready to go to your next class" he stated before kicking his feet up on the desk and leaning back in his chair waving at Flitwick as he exited the classroom telling us to make sure we go over our coursework for the year.
Averly was acutely aware of each passing second that went by, but yet, she couldn't bring herself to get out of her seat and into that hallway. Every time she went to collect her belongings and storm out of that classroom to prove to Harry that she didn't need him, her throat would begin to close up, her veins would feel as though somebody injected cement into them and she would sit there in a puddle of shame and torment and have no other option but to just try not to fall apart.
Harry's feet slid along the desk as he sat up straight turning to look at Averly. His emerald green eyes begging her to turn and look at him. He knew that look on her face, knew that she was swimming with the beasts of her own mind and needed a rope to pull her out. He knew because he had seen that similar look on his own face, and he made a vow to himself, right then and there that he would always be her rope to pull her out of the depths of her torment.
"You know," he started, his breath hitching as her eyes clashed with his "One time when I was around eight years old, my Aunt Petunia and my Uncle went out of town for the night and Dudley and I had the whole flat to ourselves and found this old horror film. We somehow sat through the entire movie, both cowering behind the pillows each time the monster would jump on the telly." Harry chuckled to himself
"We were screaming like little girls so loud, our popcorn had flown all over the place. We had made such a ruckus that the neighbors who lived next door rung the hotel that Vernon and Petunia were staying at telling them to hurry home because we were in trouble. Of course when they got home to see Dudley with a wet stain on the front of his pants and face as white as Peeves- they punished me thinking that I must've been the reasoning behind Dudleys terror."
Averly's tinge of amusement that lay in her iris was snuffed as she began feel the anger begin to surface at the thought of those miserable people that Harry had to live with, if she had her way, they would be rotting in Azkaban for the rest of their pathetic muggle existence.
"Anyway, for the next three years, until I came to Hogwarts I was terrified of the dark. Every time I would turn my lights off to go to sleep I would duck under my covers and wouldn't come out until the sunlight began to peek under the closet door."
The white haired girl sighed understanding where Harry was going with this and let out an uneasy breathe trying to release some of the tension in her shoulders. Harry took a second to drink in her features, and reached for her hand gently placing hers in his own, and when she didn't immediately pull away he could've sworn his heart almost flew out of his chest. His strong hands almost entirely engulfed her own, and for the first time in months, her hands didn't shake. Averly could've cried right then and there at feeling of warmth, comfort and safety the action brought her.
"Once I got to Hogwarts," his thumb began to make idle strokes along her steady hand "I realized that it was a fear I had to get over, I had to face that fear because I learned very quickly that the dark was going to be the least of my concerns at this school, and once I faced that, I could face whatever was going to be thrown my way."
The chiming of the Hogwarts bell tower signaled the beginning of the next class- and Avery took a sigh of relief when Harry made no move to get up and instead peered at Averly with evergreen eyes full of an emotion she couldn't read, but she decided looked beautiful in his eyes. "What's the first fear you need to conquer?" He asked, so smooth and quiet.
With a large exhale, "Im scared of what lurks in the darkness too" Averly's voice, despite the timid nature of the words, came out strong and confident like everything else she did before faltering "-the darkness of hoods concealing faces, of hallways....of myself. I don't know how face it"
"Let's do it together, alright?"
"Alright."