Harry hadn't had time to get through all the books which might mention dementors he had pulled the night before. However, from the little he had read, and his recent experiences, Harry firmly decided that he should have dropped Care of Magical Creatures like he would have an evil, baby Voldemort that happened to be on fire and shooting poisonous darts from his eyes. As it was, he walked out of the castle like he was walking to a funeral and doing his best to hide behind Ron and Hermione. Professor Grubbly-Plank was filling in for Hagrid while he was away on the super hush-hush mission that no one would talk about in Harry's presence, and by the looks of it, this lesson was going to be a disaster.
Ron concernedly glanced at Harry who was trying to disappear behind his taller friend while the unicorns standing in front of the class eyed the dementor and stamped their hooves. "Er…you heard from Jamie recently, mate?" Ron grumbled as Harry tried to pull him backwards to get more space between them and the angry, horned horses.
"I'm sorry, class. I don't know what in Merlin's good name has gotten into the unicorns today," Professor Grubbly-Plank acknowledged in confusion while she moved between the mystical horses and the students a little more. "They're usually very docile creatures and pacifist to the extreme."
"I don't think unicorns like me," Harry hissed quietly in Ron's ear.
"You think?!" Ron hissed back, becoming more concerned as the unicorns started pacing and kept shooting murderous looks towards his friend and lowering their horns.
"What'd you do, Harry?" Hermione accused when she joined Ron, blocking Harry in concern.
"Nothing! I promise! I've never hurt a unicorn before, I swear!" Harry anxiously squeaked back, loud enough for the unicorns to hopefully hear and stand down. Apparently, that didn't help matters at all. Instead, the two largest horses pushed past Professor Grubbly-Plank, knocking her onto her bum as they rushed towards the dementor in disguise.
Harry would refuse to believe when told later that he squealed like ferret Malfoy as he ran out from behind Ron and away from the charging unicorns. "Don't run in a straight line, zig-zag!" The professor yelled out, as the rest of the class seemed to go from horrified shock to laughter.
●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●
"It's a good thing Professor Grubbly-Plank was able to finally hit you with that levitation spell," Hermione sighed as she helped her friend shuffle towards the castle.
"I thought you were a goner there for a minute, mate," Ron shook his head in amused disbelief that his friend had almost been mauled by unicorns.
"Me too, Ron. Me too," Harry grumbled as he held his bleeding arm. "It's not like I ever hurt one of them. That's just rude! I even helped stop Voldie first year when he was attacking them. They should be thanking me instead of trying to shish-kabab me!"
"Harry, that looks worse than when Malfoy was scratched by the hippogriff in third year. We really need to get you to the hospital wing," Hermione inspected the wound as they reached the doors to the castle. The rest of the class were still down by the forest listening to a lecture on unicorns, without the unicorns present, once Professor Grubbly-Plank had persuaded them to return to the forest and leave the fifth-year alone.
Harry really didn't want to go to the hospital wing and have Madam Pomfrey scan him and maybe figure out the whole Harry/Jamie situation. He was bleeding quite a lot though, and Jamie needed medical attention. "Fine," he sighed in resignation, and they made their way through the hallways.
"What in Salazar's name have you gotten yourself into this time, Potter?" A silky voice stopped them from behind in an exasperated tone.
Sighing in resignation once again, Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned to acknowledge their Potions Professor. "He was attacked by a unicorn, sir," Hermione explained. "Professor Grubbly-Plank sent us to take him to Madam Pomfrey."
Snape stared at them with an unreadable expression on his face. "You were attacked…by a unicorn?" Snape asked slowly in disbelief.
Harry's eyes narrowed when he finally recognized the twitch at the corner of his professor's mouth and the well-concealed gleam in his eye as a wave of his professor's emotion hit his dementor senses. Snape was trying to not laugh at him.
"This isn't funny, sir! Those menaces are bloody lethal!" Harry ground out indignantly.
"5 points from Gryffindor for language, Mr. Potter," Snape drawled, just a little of his humor slipping out from behind his expressionless mask. "Only you could be exasperating enough to get an animal known for peace and love to attack."
Harry refrained from rolling his eyes and glared instead. "I'm bleeding on the floor, sir. Do you think I could possibly head to the hospital wing now?" He asked dryly.
Snape just smirked at him and pulled a large jar of something from out of a deep pocket in his robes. "Essence of Murtlap," he said as he handed it over. "That cut isn't even worth going to the hospital wing. Put in on twice a day for the next three days, and you'll be fine…physically that is. I sadly can't do anything about your abysmal mental state."
The three students stared at the jar in surprise. Did Snape just help him? Well, Madam Pomfrey probably would have given him the same thing, also brewed by the professor, so this was just cutting out the middleman. But still…it felt like Snape just helped him. "Er…thank you, sir," Harry stared at the jar of healing cream and ignored the insult about his mental state.
Snape smirked at their confusion and pushed past them in a billow of robes. "I better not hear about any of you missing class!" He called back sternly.
Ron snorted while Hermione pushed Harry's sleeve back and started putting the cream onto the cut. "Well…if that's not proof that Malfoy was being completely ridiculous third year, then I don't know what is," Ron huffed in irritation while the cut got noticeably smaller.
"Let's grab some food. Lunch is starting soon," Harry smiled at his friends who both mumbled something about Jamie. "History of Magic is next!" He remarked as he ignored them both and headed towards the Great Hall. At least no bloody demented horses would be attacking in a history class.
●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●
Harry stared at his transparent professor and wished more than ever before that he was able to sleep. Staying awake in History of Magic was just torture. While doodling on his notes, he analyzed the ethics of eating a ghostly spirit. The man was already dead. So…it's not like he was in a body…he would also be doing all the students a favor by getting rid of an incompetent teacher. And…Dobby had told him to eat.
Harry pushed down his hunger that welled up at the thought. Maybe he was a little too close to this decision, he figured. He'd ask Ginny since he couldn't really trust the dementor to make an ethical decision that wasn't based on hunger and boredom in the moment. He drew a line at the bottom of his notes and started a letter to his fairy friend instead.
Dear Ginny,
As you can see, I'm in History of Magic and ridiculously bored. So, serious question…you told me not to eat anyone you wouldn't eat. Would you eat Professor Binns? He's already dead and soooo boring. I'm fairly certain he'd be quite tasty too. So, your opinion, is it ethical to eat my History Professor?
Anxiously waiting your response,
Harry (and Jamie)
Knowing Ginny had a free period just then, Harry whistled out and waited. Hedwig flew into the room from the open window moments later and landed on his desk. Besides Hermione glaring at him in reproach and a couple classmates, Ron included, grumbling in their sleep, no one noticed or cared about the owl, least of all the ghostly professor droning on up by the chalkboard. Harry smiled unrepentantly at Hermione and tied the letter onto Hedwig's leg, pulling an owl treat out of his pocket and handing it over as well. "That's for Ginny," he whispered. Hedwig hooted as she happily snapped up the owl treat and flew back out of the window. Hermione glared at him one more time for good measure before turning back to her notes.
Harry's halfway finished notes were returned to him at dinner with a message from Ginny at the bottom:
Harry,
No, you may not eat our History Professor. Besides drawing unwanted attention to yourself, he is a sentient being, even if he isn't currently alive. Just because he's boring, doesn't mean he deserves to die.
On another note, are you free on Thursday night next week? I have something else you might like to see. You in?
Ginny
"Fine!" Harry grumbled out and ate another bite of carrots before glaring over at a grinning Ginny at the other side of the table. Harry wrinkled his nose to show his frustration. He then smiled and nodded about Thursday. Ginny grinned back and waved.
"What was that about?" Hermione asked when Harry turned back to them.
"Ginny said I couldn't kill Binns," Harry pouted and took a sip of pumpkin juice.
"Pineapple," Ron sighed and stabbed his steak with his fork.
"Jamie was the code word," Hermione reminded him with a long-suffering sigh.
"Well, apparently that code word wasn't doing anything," the redhead glared at both his friends, waving a steak-laden fork around.
"I hear you. I just ignore you sometimes," Harry smirked at them.
"Harry…in second year, what did we brew in the girls' bathroom?" Ron asked in all seriousness.
"Polyjuice potion?" the dementor responded with a questioning eyebrow raise.
"Just checking…" Ron shook his head. "Sometimes I still wonder…"
Harry shrugged and stood from his bench. "I have detention with Umbridge. See you all later!"
"Harry! Be careful!" Hermione called after him in worry. Her friend smiled at her warmly before turning and heading out the door.
●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●
Harry looked at his left hand in surprise. I must not tell lies appeared carved into his skin. Did Umbridge do what he thought she had done? Harry's eyes shot up to the evil professor who was smiling sweetly at him over the top of her floral teacup. Yep, this was all her doing! She was intentionally harming Jamie! For one very intense moment, Harry really did seriously consider eating her soul, or at least sucking out all the happiness and joy she'd ever felt from her evil toad-body.
Harry took a deep breath and felt the jar of Essence of Murtlap in his pocket that Snape had given him earlier. Promising that he'd heal Jamie shortly, Harry pushed down his murderous anger. If Snape hadn't given him a means of taking care of Jamie, he was positive he wouldn't have been able to dampen his dementor instincts. Umbridge had no clue how close she had come to disaster…for now.
Breathing in deeply, Harry felt Umbridge's soul; he knew she would taste like candy floss. Nope! Don't think about that! He shook his head and started writing again. The pain helped him concentrate his thoughts and not think about eating the evil DADA professor. Well…he may have still thought about it. He did like candy floss. But no, he wouldn't eat her, not even a little. If Ginny said he couldn't eat Binns, then he definitely couldn't eat Umbridge. Maybe he would ask though; Ginny could change her mind.
●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●
"Hermione, you mind helping me with his?" Harry asked as he put the jar Snape had given him on the table in front of where Ron and Hermione were studying when he stumbled back into Gryffindor Tower after his detention. He was having a hard time opening the jar with his injured hand.
Hermione easily opened it and motioned for him to show her the cut from earlier. "No, this first," he sighed as he held his hand out for her to see.
"What the bloody hell?!" Ron growled as he stood up and examined Harry's hand. Several of the other students looked up from their homework or activities at Ron's outburst, but quickly brushed it off and went back to what they were doing.
"Umbridge," Harry explained with a murderous look still on his face.
"Did she have you writing lines with a blood quill or something?" Ron asked, Harry's hand held just centimeters from his eyes as he looked the bloody mess over.
"Ron, let me look at it," Hermione protested as she reached up to pull Harry's hand away.
"If a blood quill is a quill that writes in your own blood while you use it, then yeah," Harry sighed when Hermione grabbed his hand and pulled it over to her face to study.
"Harry…those are highly illegal," Ron put a hand on his friend's shoulder in comfort. "We need to tell someone."
"She's the Undersecretary to the Minister; who are we going to tell?" Harry asked in seriousness, already having spent the last two hours thinking that through while carving into Jamie's hand.
"Dumbledore or McGonagall?" Hermione asked while she slathered the cream onto his hand and then the unicorn injury.
"Both already in trouble with the ministry," Harry frowned in frustration. "They wouldn't have sent Umbridge here if they were happy with the headmaster and the deputy headmistress, and it's not like I have any parents to complain to. Snuffles would storm into the school and curse her, getting himself arrested again, then I'd have to break him out of prison, then we'd have to go on the run to maybe Tahiti, and I could be sitting on a warm beach right now instead of freezing my arse off…Maybe we should tell Snuffles," Harry smirked at the end.
Hermione smacked the back of his head with her hand. "It's still summer. It's not even cold right now, so stop complaining," she chastised him. Harry pulled his robes closed more, not commenting on the fact he was currently wearing three layers and still freezing. "I'll look over some law books in the library and see if there's any way we could get around her and get her kicked out of the school," Harry's brilliant friend offered.
Harry smiled at her and Ron groaned. "Ergh, that means we have to go do research, doesn't it?"
"Yes, Ron. It'll do you good," Hermione smacked him upside the head next. "Now bed, both of you."
"Yes, mum!" They both laughed, dodging thrown books as they headed up to their dormitory.
●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●
Not that I don't love spending time with you, Ginny, but where are we going?" Harry asked as he was pulled down another corridor deeper into the castle the next Thursday evening, thankfully a night he didn't have detention with Umbridge.
Ginny stopped immediately and turned to smile at him sweetly. Harry was certain he'd agree to just about anything she said when she turned her brown eyes on him like that…well anything until she opened her mouth and said, "Remedial Potions."
"You had better be kidding, Ginny Weasley," Harry gaped in shock. "Potions might not be my best subject, but I do pretty decent when I'm not being sabotaged, nowhere near needing Remedial Potions! Plus, it's only one week into the new term. Why would any study group be starting up this early?!"
"I'm top in my year in Potions," Ginny informed him with a mischievous grin.
Harry was shocked, he hadn't expected that. "So…this is a joke? Where are we really going then?"
"Nope, I'm listed as a tutor," Ginny grinned once more and pulled the dementor down another hallway. "Sorry, Harry, I don't think we can pass you off as a Potions tutor. We're going to have to tell people you're actually taking it."
"What makes you think I'll take Remedial Potions willingly!" Harry sputtered indignantly.
Ginny pushed him into an alcove and blocked his exit. She waved her wand, throwing up an impressive silencing ward to Harry's surprise and academic interest. "Because it's not actually Remedial Potions, that's just our cover," she explained with a roll of her eyes. "We're more of a secret society. The society was started back in the early 1800s and the secret has been kept successfully from the faculty, students, and all headmasters except for two since then, and those two were both former members."
"You're taking me to a secret society?" Harry asked, a little excitement creeping into his voice. "That's awesome!"
"Yes," Ginny giggled. "We're the Hogwarts Society of Magical Creatures."
For the millionth time in that one conversation, Harry's jaw dropped in shock. "We're going to meet other magical creatures at Hogwarts?"
"Of course, silly!" She berated him with an indulgent grin.
"Wait…wouldn't the headmaster or at least Snape notice if there was a random Remedial Potions class meeting?"
"Well, we haven't always been Potions," Ginny leaned against the wall, getting comfortable for a long explanation. "We've been Remedial Divination, Remedial Charms, and many others just depending on who our faculty sponsor is. Most of the sponsors have all been past members, though we did have to branch out a few years in there when there wasn't a magical creature on staff."
"Snape's your sponsor?!" Harry grimaced and crossed his arms in stubborn irritation.
"He is, now calm down and listen to me, Harry, you need this," Ginny pinned him with a glare. The dementor pouted a bit but motioned for her to continue explaining. "Anyway, there are several rules you're going to have to follow to be a part of this society, and rule number one is that house rivalry is checked at the door. We all face enough discrimination as it is. This is a safe place where rivalry is off limits."
Harry nodded, understanding the rule completely. "I can do that," he agreed wholeheartedly.
"Second is that no matter how someone acts outside of the club or how bad you treat each other, inside the club, we're family and each other's support. We all have different ways of hiding our identities and different expectations from our families, but whatever you do outside the club doesn't come into the room," Ginny looked at him significantly.
Harry figured that if Snape behaved himself then he could too. He wasn't the one that started things anyway. "Ok, I think I can do that as well."
"Great!" Ginny beamed at him. "Next is very important, but you never ask what creature anyone is. They'll tell you when they're comfortable, and they'll afford you the same courtesy. I feel it goes without saying that you never out a creature to anyone inside or outside the club either, right?"
Harry really liked that rule. He didn't plan on telling anyone he was a dementor anytime soon. "That's good. I like that!"
"Ok…you ready?" Ginny took his hand supportively.
"Is there anyone else like you that can figure out what I am?" Harry asked tentatively.
Ginny shook her head. "No, there aren't any other fairies in the school, and you said the house elves already know. Besides fairies and sirens, of which there aren't any in the school right now, magical creatures that pass as human don't have quite the refined senses that our more animalistic counterparts do, even werewolves wouldn't be able to tell what you were just by scent. You're safe until you want to tell them."
Taking a deep breath, Harry nodded. "Ok, let's do this…"
Ginny cancelled her ward and led him further into the dungeons, only stopping when they approached a classroom that Harry didn't remember ever being used for anything. "Welcome to Remedial Potions," she smiled as she opened the door to a brightly lit room with people from all years and houses milling about and laughing.
"Oh hell…what's he doing here?" A familiar voice indignantly drawled from the corner of the room, making Harry instinctively go on guard and prepare for a fight.
A/N: Thanks for reading and please vote and comment!