Blake Holly
"You know, I wonder if there are any pink lemons in the world" Delilah said, taking a sip from her pink lemonade.
"Delilah shut up" Persephone playfully nudged her.
The three of us were currently having lunch at the cafe. Classes had just ended and we were all starving.
About two days had gone past since I had got that message from my stalker. I had three days left to tell Adrian and I was dreading every moment of it. Why did I have to be the bearer of bad news? I felt so bad for Adrian. He seemed like such a sweet guy. I knew he would be crushed once I told him, he'll probably have so many questions and I don't know if I was ready to answer them. He's going to want to know how I caught them, and I mean how do I lie and say 'Oh I just casually walked into the janitor's closet'. I had to come up with a story and I needed it fast.
"Hey did you talk to Johnathan?" I asked Delilah; she promised that she would take my advice and speak to him.
"Just when lunch was going good" She replied, rolling her eyes.
"He didn't accept my apology, so let's just forget about Johnathan everyone. I don't want to hear any more about him."
I frowned a bit because I was disappointed, I really wanted them both to work things out because it was obvious there was a lot of history and feelings there. I know how Delilah can be and how she can word things wrong but really have good intentions behind her words. I wondered did somewhere in this 'apology', she said the wrong thing or if Johnathan was just being stubborn and close-minded. I respected her wishes though and decided not to touch on the situation anymore.
"Yeah, maybe he'll forgive you when the video of you going off on him isn't trending right now" Persephone joked and began laughing historically.
"Shut. up" Delilah kicked her leg under the table
"Owie" Persephone rubbed her leg and poked her bottom lip out.
It was true though, the video was going around the school, and like a wildfire, it became the hot new gossip. Everyone was talking about it and I couldn't even imagine the humiliation all parties were feeling right now. This just made me more nervous because I knew once I broke the news to Adrian that, that too, would spread like wildfire. Dylan is also probably going to kill me by the way, and that actually doesn't sound too bad with all of this drama going on, as long as they dig me back up when it's over.
The three of us talked for a little longer before Persephone had to go home, and today was Delilah's first day at the new club she started 'Girls Who Code.' It was a computer science club and had to deal with a bunch of techy stuff, Delilah encouraged me to join, but tech isn't really my strong suit, nor something I'm interested in.
I on the other hand had to get to my weekly meeting with Ms. Dackery, I hadn't seen her since last time when we sat there in silence for a good hour or so.
We said our goodbyes and both of them left, but I had to stay behind and wait for our server to return with the meal card I paid with.
The girl who served us returned with a checkbook in her hand and a to-go box.
"Hey, do you know if the cafe is hiring?" I asked opening up the checkbook and retrieving the card.
I was still looking for a job as I wanted to already have some money saved up for when this meal card ran out, and it would be great if I had some extra cash to spend on what I please.
"Yeah actually two people just got fired, so I think there is a spot open. Just talk to Cory, he's the manager here."
Cory is a manager? Well okay then.
I smiled and gave her a nod, and she walked back to the kitchen. Once I got all wrapped up, I decided that I would find Cory and ask him about any open positions.
I saw him behind the counter writing some stuff down on a notepad.
"Hey Cory" I greeted him with a flashy smile.
He quickly looked up from his notepad and instantly smiled when he saw me.
"Uh Hey Blake, sorry I was just finishing up some inventory here. Whatcha need?" He said adjusting his glasses.
"Oh no it's okay I can just ask you when you have time" I said beginning to turn away.
"I do have time" He interrupted.
"Well then, I was told you were the hiring manager and I'm kind of in need of a job."
"I can help with that" He responded folding his arms and leaning up against the counter.
"Really?" I beamed.
"Yeah under one condition"
I was a little nervous to respond as I didn't have a clue what this condition could be.
"Talk" I said squinting my eyes.
"Meet me at the library after school".
Oh no. Can a girl just get a job without being hit on? Men are so disgusting seriously.
"Cory...I'm not looking to...date" I awkwardly replied.
A shocked look instantly came over his face and he held his hands up in surrender.
"Oh Nah, I just want some company while I study".
Awkwarrddd.
"Oh...yea..sure...sorry I feel like an idiot" I slapped myself on the forehead. I still felt like he was trying to hit on me a bit but I'll leave it alone for now.
"Meet me there at 5:00 and you can start working tomorrow after class" He said throwing a uniform over the counter.
Well, that was easy.
I smiled and waved goodbye before walking out of the cafe and making my way to my dorm.
While I was walking through the courtyard I spotted Adrian on the other side throwing a football to one of his friends. I did not want to see him right now so I turned the other way and tried to hide my face a little. How fucking ironic. Usually when I saw Adrian I couldn't keep my eyes off of him but now I was trying my best to make sure he was no where in sight.
I started speed walking but sure enough, I heard my name being called in that familiar husky voice.
I tried to act as if I didn't hear him but his voice got closer which means he is getting closer.
Blake, what are you doing?
I turned around and like I imagined he was right behind me.
"You avoiding me Blake?" he asked, and I froze up for a second because I was embarrassed that he noticed, but then he started laughing signaling that it was only a joke.
"I'm messing with you, where you off to so fast?"
Oh nothing, just to the guidance counselor's office so I can talk about how much of a fucked up life I have.
"Oh um, just to my dorm. I have lots of studying to do" I awkwardly nodded and pointed to the books in my hand.
He stood in front of me looking so happy, like he didn't have a care in the world. Adrian had that persona as if he was in control of everything as if nothing in his life wasn't in his control. I hate that I was probably the only person in this world that knew that there was something in his life that he in fact wasn't in control of, something that would probably hurt him to the core.
"You know, I might have to nickname you Cinderella. You're always in a hurry somewhere" He joked again.
I usually would blush at his jokes but now all I could feel was guilt. Guilt that I knew this secret and was trying my best to hold on to it for so long. I needed to tell him right now.
"Yeah" I nervously giggled.
"Well, I'll let you get to studying, I've actually got to go meet Dylan, I'm planning us a little date in the park"
I scoffed and rolled my eyes, forgetting that Adrian was in front of me. She didn't deserve a romantic date in the park I mean come on. This information should've made me want to tell Adrian more but instead, I became even more nervous to tell him because he looked so happy, so happy that he was taking his beloved asshole of a girlfriend on a date.
I couldn't tell him. Not now. I can't ruin their date.
I nodded and turned the other way. I couldn't talk to him any longer before the guilt consumed me in its entirety.
_________________
"I'm so happy you returned Blake"
I had just walked into Ms. Dackerys office. She was sitting at her chair waiting for me with the biggest, still unnerving, smile on her face.
"Why do you keep saying that? I'm required to come here Ms.Dackery it's not like I have a choice in if I return or not".
"You do have a choice Blake. Yes, you're partly right, you have to come here to stay at Kinderton but you're so devoted to staying here that you chose to come, and I truly am happy about that."
I hate that she contradicted everything I said and was right about it.
"Well I'm not talking today." I sat down on the couch in front of her and plopped my bag on the floor. I sat back with my arms folded with a look of pure annoyance on my face.
"Good because I am" She leaned forward and smiled.
"Let's start from the beginning, shall we?" I was born in 1982 to Diana and Miles Dubois-"
"Dubois?"
Dubois? Ms. Dackery was a Dubois?
"Yes, Dackery is my maiden name, given your reaction, I'm sure you've heard a lot about the Dubois and our drama-filled history."
"Yeah...I just can't believe a Dubois would be at Kinderton, I mean, isn't that against the 'founding family rules'."
" Founding family rules? You kids are hilarious" She giggled.
"Technically no, but I can tell you how I came to work here if you would like me to continue my story".
I gave her a nod, signaling that I wanted her to continue. I was way to intrigued now.
"My life as a child was very sheltered, my parents were very conservative as they were so bent on replenishing the tarnished Dubois name, they were tired of the side eyes and nasty looks people gave them all because of their last name."
Wow. I felt that. A lot.
"They were so frustrated with themselves and I could never put my finger around it, they were so angry over something they couldn't control. They thought the Dubois name was cursed and that anybody that was born a Dubois is destined to be cursed. I think that's why my father resented my mother so much for birthing me. He wanted her to get an abortion and for the Dubois name to die out and end with them. My mother wanted to keep me but a part of me wishes she hadn't. He beat on us all the time, for the smallest things, sometimes just because he wanted to. It's almost like abusing us was entertainment for him."
I looked down at my fingers and bit my lip after hearing about her childhood upbringing, a part of me wanted her to stop talking because the similarity in our childhoods made the pain I fought so hard to keep down come up all over again, another part of me wanted her to keep talking because as hard as it is to admit, it felt good that somebody else has gone through this too. It's so wrong to say but to know that I wasn't the only one who had a shitty father felt so damn good. I felt normal. For once I felt normal.
"As I got older, my father got sick and passed away when I was twenty-three. My mother was so distraught by his death, and this puzzled me as well because I thought she would be happy he was gone, happy that our biggest fear was no longer a burden to us anymore. She wasn't though, I had never seen her that distraught in my entire life, nonetheless she drank herself to death and passed away due to a liver failure when I was twenty-six. I was so lost, I didn't have either of my parents and I had been so busy caught up in their lives that I had forgot about my own. I couldn't get help from my grandparents because they hated me, hated me for the actions of my mother and father and my great-grandparents were dead. The Dubois name had no value to it anymore and all the legacy money was gone or locked up in a bank account I couldn't get to. My life was dark and meaningless, until I met my husband, Joseph Dackery. I still believe he was my personal angel sent to help me because he changed my life in more ways than one. He helped me get on my feet and do all the things I was supposed to do at twenty-six, for example, he showed me how to open up my own checking account. I was twenty-six and did not know how to open up a checking or savings, and I blame my parents for keeping me so shut off from the world."
I noticed that she started to get a bit emotional, and I couldn't help but to as well. Her story was so dark, and I felt so bad for her.
"You um...don't have to continue" I consoled.
"No no I want to, I've told this story a thousand times surprisingly, I just get emotional every time I tell it, but it helps, it helps me heal every time I tell it.". She took her shirt and wiped her eyes under her glasses.
"I wanted to do something with my life that would benefit other people, I found out that Kinderton was open and for the longest, I had thought that school was still closed down after all the drama but to my surprise, it wasn't. An idea to work there crossed my mind and I guess this was kind of my way of making amends to the Dubois name, if I could help the kids at Kinderton, maybe my dead parents wouldn't be frowning down on me from wherever they were. It sounds really stupid I know, why should I even care what they think? I had no qualifications but Ms. Engrid could see how passionate I was about this and offered me a job as a guidance counselor. Ever since then I've been here, helping kids find their own path and helping them to find their voice, and don't worry I got that dumb idea of working here for my parents out my head and eventually fell in love with Kinderton and the wonderful students that attend it. I may not be PhD certified but I can guarantee you I have helped so many students and have seen tremendous progress in my work. All you have to do is talk to me Blake, as you can see, I come from a background that puts me in no place to judge anybody, as I have been judged my entire life. All because of my name."
At this point, a tear had fallen from my face, I got so emotional that I didn't even realize it. I felt obligated to tell her my whole life story now. I would feel like an asshole if I just sat here and continued to say nothing, I know she wasn't trying to intentionally make me feel like that but I just did, I don't know why, but I did.
"I um...I'm so sorry Ms. Dackery, I guess I kind of judged you too, I thought that if I told you my story that you wouldn't understand me and become disgusted with me, that's what everyone does. They're all so disgusted with me" I said in a defeated tone.
I was looking down at this point because another tear found its way to my cheek, and I wanted so badly to hide my pitiful face from her.
"Let's just start from the beginning Blake"
I looked up at her and wiped my face. I took a deep breath and prepared to tell a story that I hadn't told in years. A story that I wanted to forget about.
"I came to Kinderton to run away. I wanted to run away from my past." I took another deep breath.
"It's okay Blake, this is a safe space"
I've heard those words come out of so many counselors' and therapist's mouths but they were lying every single time, Ms. Dackery however, I could tell she wasn't lying to me.
"After my father was murdered, my mother couldn't take it and um, she got involved with some really bad people. I got sent to a foster home and..." I could feel tears threatening to come, and they were threatening to come hot, fast, and in a fury.
"Some really, really, really um...bad things happened to me there...I wanted to die" I couldn't fight them anymore. At this point, I was full-on sobbing, I released emotions that I've kept down for so long, I couldn't control them when they finally came out.
I had to stop, I can't do this anymore.
Ms. Dackery got out of her chair and hugged me in the most comforting way, she ran her fingers through my hair and it reminded me of how I used to do that to my mom when she would break down in front of me. It always calmed her down and it seemed to calm me down as well.
"Shh, it's okay Blake, you're safe now"
Oh Ms. Dackery but I'm not. The same story I can't even form into words without breaking down is the same story somebody on this campus is threatening me with. I am not safe.
"We can stop for today, I'm so proud of you. You've made more progress in one day than I see some students make in an entire month. I'm so so proud of you" She hugged me tighter.
I calmed down a bit and wiped my tears away. Our session time was almost over anyways so I began to grab my things together and head out. I thought I was able to tell her my life story in detail but I wasn't, I was nowhere near ready.
"Are you okay to go back out there?" She concernedly asked.
"Yeah...I'll be fine" I sniffled a bit and walked out the door. I had to get out of there.
Five o clock was nearing and I needed to meet Cory at the library if I wanted this job, which was still so bizarre to me but whatever.
I began walking to the main building where the library was and as I was walking I saw Dylan, she spotted me and began angrily walking toward me.
Oh no.
I saw her and thought, I don't owe her shit. Not even a conversation. I rolled my eyes and kept walking in the opposite direction, that was until she ran and placed herself in front of me, stopping me in my tracks.
"You have no clue what personal space is do you?" I jeered.
"What you saw yesterday is none of your business? For some dumb reason you think Adrian is your friend but I promise you that if you say anything to him, I'll ruin you."
"Haven't I heard that one before? I'm not scared of you Dylan, now get out of my way" I proceeded to step to the side. Usually, I wouldn't have the energy to snap back at her smart remarks but I don't know if it was because I was angry at her for what she's been doing to Adrian or if it was because I just left that intense session with Ms. Dackery.
Regardless, I had time today.
"You think I'm joking? You better not tell Adrian anything. I know about your fucked up ass family Blake Holly" She said stepping back in front of me and adding an emphasis on 'Holly'.
She knows? She knows about my family? No. It couldn't be. How does she know and how much does she know? Is she...Is she my stalker?
So many thoughts swarmed my mind. I could feel a slight panic attack coming on, I felt sick, sick to my stomach.
"Oh my god you look gross, are you about to throw up?" She said reading the bewildered expression on my face.
I snapped. I went full-on crazy psycho bitch on this girl.
"YOU BITCH ! IT WAS YOU? YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING HARASSING ME THIS ENTIRE TIME. SENDING ME TEXT MESSAGES !! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU UP COME HERE BITCH" I said getting closer to her, at this point, I grabbed the collar of her shirt and pulled her towards me. She looked scared out of her mind and for once that smart-ass mouth of hers had nothing to say.
"Oh my God! You're fucking crazy let me go you psycho bitch" She snatched my hand off of her shirt and backed away.
"TELL ME! IT WAS YOU HUH? HOW DID YOU FIND OUT? TELL ME HOW YOU FOUND OUT!" I raged at her.
"What the entire FUCK are you talking about? I read your file, what the hell do you mean harassing you? I don't have your number to be sending you text messages nor do I want it."
I scowled at her and she looked at me so flabbergasted and confused. Dylan was a lying bitch for sure, but something told me that it wasn't her. The look on her face said it all. Now I really do feel like a crazy raging psycho bitch but I wasn't going to let her know that.
"Stay the fuck away from me Dylan. I'm serious." I turned away from her and stormed off.
I need a fucking cigarette.
I asked a random guy did he have one and he handed me one out of his pocket and lit it for me. I thanked him and tried to find somewhere ducked off behind the building so that I wouldn't get caught since smoking is forbidden on campus.
I found a spot by the dumpsters and it smelled like absolute shit but I was too angry to care.
I took a long drag from the cigarette and coughed uncontrollably. It's crazy that in the little time I've been here I've managed to pick up a cigarette twice when I haven't in years. I don't think I've ever been this stressed in my life. I'm supposed to be here learning new and good habits and instead, I seemed to pick up old and bad ones.
"Princess we've got to stop meeting like this"
I turned around and no other than Paxton, the biggest dickface on the planet, was standing off to the far side of me, enjoying what seemed like a joint.
"You now? I don't need this shit" I began to walk away but he grabbed ahold of my arm.
"Relax, I just want to talk"
"Well I don't" I snatched my arm away from him but he grabbed it again.
"I apologize"
He apologizes? Mr. Nonchalant apologizes? I think I've had enough surprises for the day.
"For what? You don't owe me anything" I cocked my head to the side and folded my arms.
"I don't. But I know how it must've looked, kissing you and then hooking up with Dylan right after. Truth is me and Dylan have been doing it for a while. She's addicting I don't fucking know"
I rolled my eyes.
"Goodbye Paxton"
I mean seriously, why is he telling me this?
"Hold on a minute damnit, Im not good at this shit...apologizing. You looked hurt the other day and I've felt like a dick ever since"
"Honestly Paxton, it was one night. I'm over it, at the end of the day you and Dylan are wrong on so many levels but I can't tell you or her what to do"
"Me and Adrian used to be friends, he fucked me over and I guess getting at Dylan is my way of getting back at him." He said in a somber tone, looking defeated as ever. Or maybe he was just high.
"Paxton...that's not right" I looked off to the side, my eyes fixed on the ground.
"You don't know what he did to me Blake"
He's right I didn't know, but Adrian seemed so nice it couldn't be anything vile, and I know Paxton can be an asshole so I'm not sure how much of this story he's giving me that I'm believing.
"We're cool alright, I really don't feel like talking about this anymore" I truthfully said, taking a long sigh. I was in no position to be at odds with anyone right now as my stalker was on the loose and that was enough drama for me.
"I still feel like an asshole"
"You should"
He gave me a little smirk like he wanted to laugh but didn't. "Let me make it up to you" He stepped closer to me.
"Gross no"
"Chill, not like that. You're so dirty-minded Blake. I like it" He winked at me.
"Shut up"
"You weren't saying 'gross' when your tongue-"
"Paxton! People might hear you" I pushed his chest and carefully scanned the area.
"Give me your number"
"What? no"
"I said I was going to make it up to you right? Well, I need your number"
"Paxton I am not giving you my number and I think that this conversation is over" I remarked.
"You're so stubborn it's insane. What if I need help in trig?" He pleaded.
"You can ask Mr. Davinci then"
"He hates me"
"You're not going to let this go are you?" I folded my arms and gave him a look.
"Nope" He gave me that same sinister smirk he always did when he felt accomplished.
I pulled out a sharpie from my bag and walked toward him and wrote my number on his hand.
"Try not to call me too much okay?" I sarcastically said. Maybe I gave Paxton my number because I felt that we were coming to some type of mutual understanding or maybe I gave it to him because I wanted to, because no matter how hard I tried to fight it a tiny part of me wanted for my name to be in Paxton Grant's phone.
"I'll try not to"
I rolled my eyes and began walking away.
"Bye princess"
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Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Sorry it took me a while, I've been moving all week :(
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(Blake in the MM)
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