Spencer stared out her window, Hermione stared at her as she sat on the edge of the bed.
Spencer thought about how weird the situation was.
Everyone thought she was sad for different reasons.
The twins could assume it was about Addison.
Andrew knew.
Harry and Ron probably just assumed it was her time of the month.
Snape knew.
God, he knew.
Hermione probably knew, maybe that's why she was there.
She just needed confirmation.
Suddenly her phone rang.
"Hello?" she said weakly.
"Good morning sunshine" her grandfather laughed. "It's midday, time to wake up."
"I'm up" she replied.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Mhm, what's up?"
"Your friend is sun bathing" he answered.
"Good, he needs sun" Spencer nodded to herself.
He laughed.
"Yes he does" he replied.
"So, are you going to tell me what's up with him?"
Spencer sighed and closed her eyes, "he just needs to be away for a bit."
"Okay" he replied. "Are you going to tell me what's up with you?"
"I have a stomach virus, it's annoying" she answered.
"And... you're sure it's a virus?"
Spencer lightly chuckled, "yes, it's a virus."
"And, you know... you're negative."
"I'm not entertaining this conversation any longer" she laughed.
"Wait," he laughed, "he wants to talk to you."
"... okay."
She heard him hand the phone off.
"V, it's gorgeous out here" he laughed. "And I mean- wow! Your house is beautiful. Remus is going to love this!"
Spencer didn't know what to say.
"Hello?"
"Yeah I'm here- sorry."
"You ok?"
"Just tired" she answered. "I have a stomach virus."
"... are you sure it's-"
"Yes, B."
"Just making sure- I won't be taking care of babies straight out-"
"Yeah, I know. I don't want that either."
She heard him sigh, "what's happening over there?" he asked.
"Nothing, I just haven't slept well and exams are soon and I'm stressed."
Hermione didn't say anything, she just looked.
"I'm sure Ms. Granger will gladly help you out" he laughed.
"Yeah, she will" she smiled to herself.
There were a few seconds of silence, Sirius knew something was going on but didn't know how to ask.
He was worried, but as he built up the courage to ask Spencer spoke first.
"Well, I'll talk to you later."
Sirius nodded to himself, "Take care."
"You too" she said before hanging up.
She continued to stare out of the window.
"So" Hermione spoke.
"Just ask."
"Where'd he go?"
"Dunno" she shrugged.
"You don't know?"
"No" she shook her head.
"Oh... what... happened, after?"
"He broke up with me" Spencer answered.
She wasn't crying, maybe she cried herself dry.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Wow" she said. "Do you-"
"Not really, Mi" she shook her head. "Thanks though" she shrugged.
"I'm here, whenever you need me" she rubbed her back.
"Thanks" she nodded.
"Do you want a bagel?"
Spencer nodded, Hermione went to the Kitchen. Once she finished she brought it to her.
She cleared her throat before speaking, "thanks Mi."
Hermione took a deep breath, smiling. "Anytime."
──────⊱⁜⊰──────
Spencer woke up, scared as she felt someone stare at her. She quickly grabbed her wand and sat up as she pointed it at them.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!" she exclaimed.
"Shower time" Snape spoke.
"Fucks sake" she laid back down.
"You can't hide in this room forever" he replied.
"Yes, I can actually, if you'll speak with the headmaster he will show you a lengthy list of everything-"
"Blah blah blah" he muttered.
"Did you just-"
"Tomorrow is Monday. Meaning class. Meaning you need to shower, full disrespect intended."
"Mhm" she closed her eyes.
He stood up and yanked her blankets off.
"Screw you" she flipped onto her other side, her back facing him.
"Watch your mouth."
"I hate you, you know?"
"I did not make him run away-"
"Screw. You."
He took a deep breath, "I'll carry you myself if-"
"What do I have to do in order for you to leave me alone?" she cut him off.
"There is no universe in which that is possible."
She shook her head, eyes closed.
"I was not joking about carrying you to the shower, Venus."
"Ugh!" she sat up.
"Were you always this insufferable?"
"Believe it or not, yes. I'm sure if you call up my mother she will gladly confirm it" she rolled her eyes.
"I did not mean-"
"I know" she looked up at him. "I know, so, relax. Okay?"
He furrowed his eyebrows.
"I'm fine, everything is fine. People break up, people move on. Blah blah blah" she looked for a change of clothes.
As she prepared to walk out of her room, he stood in her way.
She moved to the left, he followed.
She moved to the right, so did he.
She let out a deep breath, "what is it?"
He didn't answer. He just looked.
And she knew the look, even if his eyes didn't mean to let it slip.
Pity.
"Shower" she said out loud before walking past him.
She heard him walk out into the living room, she assumed he sat down.
"Fucking bullshit" she muttered to herself, turning the shower on.
She looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes were puffy from all the crying.
She sat against the the wall, she didn't know when it happened but then she found herself laying on the bathroom floor.
After an hour and a half passed, Snape had enough of sitting on the couch.
He knocked. "Is this going to take long?"
When she didn't answer, he sighed to himself.
"Open the door" he said softly.
"No" she replied.
Snape opened the door with an incantation she couldn't hear.
She didn't have the strength to make a joke, he knew she would've said something along the lines of the possibility of her being naked.
"You haven't gone in" he pointed out.
She shook her head in response.
He sighed before sitting down beside her. He ran his fingers through her hair.
"It's not your fault" he spoke.
"I know" she whispered.
"I need you to understand... it's not your fault."
"I know" her voice broke.
"... there's nothing I can say that will make things better, but I will be here with you and share your grief."
"Thanks" she replied. "I'm still mad at you."
"I know" he said softly.
After thirty minutes of silence, and running his hand through her hair, Spencer sat up.
"I'm okay" she shrugged.
"Sure" he nodded.
"I am."
"Do you want me to say it out loud?"
"No, because I know I am. I don't need you to tell me what I am or am not feeling."
He shrugged.
"Fuck you" she said sadly.
"Spencer, you won't be okay. Not for a long time."
"I know" she looked at the floor. "But if I say it out loud, it'll be easier for me to believe it."
"Why do you need to be okay?"
She didn't know what to say.
"It's alright to feel sad, even angry. Emotions are not meant to be suppressed, but acknowledged and processed."
"Always the hypocrite" she shook her head.
"Shower," he stood up, "we have somewhere to be."
"I have nowhere to be" she looked up at him.
"Yes you do."
"Are you kidnapping me?"
"Will that make you shower?"
"No."
He gave her a stern look.
"Fine. Whatever. I'll shower."
Spencer stood up, then gave him a glare.
"Now what" he asked.
"I can't shower with you in here" she answered.
"Don't you have a thing for teachers?" he joked.
"Shut up" her smile broke through. She shook her head as he left, getting ready to shower.
When she finished she braided her hair in two sections, then put on jeans, a black shirt, and cardigan.
She stepped out, taking her dirty clothes to her room.
"Weren't you already dressed?" Snape asked after a few moments passed.
Spencer found herself staring at her hamper, their old hamper.
He had clothes in there.
They fought not even five days ago about who was going to take the laundry down.
She wondered if this is what her life will be like: remembrance.
"Spencer?" he called out.
She cleared her throat before speaking, "coming!" she set her clothes on the floor before leaving her room.
They left the castle and began walking the grounds.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see."
She rolled her eyes.
They walked to the quidditch pitch, he walked inside a hut, and brought out a broom.
"Here" he handed it to her.
She took it, "ok?"
"Fly" he answered.
"Why?"
"Because I said so" he replied before walking up to the stands.
"What if I don't want to?" she said to his back.
He didn't reply and kept walking.
She huffed before she got on the broom, holding it tightly with both of her hands.
She rose a couple feet off the ground, then hovered over where Snape was.
"Fly around the pitch, not near me" he spoke.
"But why."
He closed his eyes, "you are worse than a toddler."
"You don't have experience with toddlers" she chuckled before turning around.
She flew higher, the wind intertwined with her hair as the rush of adrenaline coursed her veins.
The sun was setting slowly, illuminating her face. Snape stared as she navigated between the towering goalposts.
The thrill allowed her to smile.
Snape smiled to himself, "you really are the only one that knows her" Dumbledore spoke beside him.
As soon as he heard him speak, his smile dropped. "I am not happy with you."
"You didn't let me finish my explanation" he waved at Spencer, she waved back.
"How can you explain-"
"You're not ready to listen" he cut him off. "When you are, you can come to me" he finished, sitting beside him.
"He is 16 years older than her-"
He sighed, "Severus" he shook his head.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore" he replied. "I need to get her through this, what's done is done."
"What's done is done?" he repeated. "She will never not feel the love they shared, the love she has for him. It is never over" he stood up. "Look past your childhood hatred, Severus, Remus is not the man you paint him to be" he said before walking away.
"What'd he say?" Spencer hovered over the stands.
"You will be accommodated for exams" he answered.
"Accommodated?" she asked, confused.
"You can take the paper exam in a separate-"
"No" she shook her head. "I can take it with everyone else."
"You should-"
"Why?" she asked, with a touch of anger.
"It's there for you."
"I don't want it."
He shook his head, "ok."
"I'm done flying" she flew down to the bottom of the pitch, got off the broom, and put it back where he got it from.
"Spencer" he called out for her.
"What" she looked back.
"The trial is-"
"No" she shook her head.
"The statement that you have to make, it's-"
"I don't want to talk about it" she placed her hands on her hips.
"This isn't months away it's-"
"I don't want to talk about any of it" she raised her hands before walking away.
"You can't ignore it-"
"I'm not ignoring it I just said I don't want to talk about it."
He sighed loudly.
"Don't do that" she spoke through her teeth.
"Will you- stop walking away from me!"
She stopped, turned around, and waited for him to speak.
He shook his head softly, "speaking in front of all those people about what happened to you... speaking in front of her, it won't be easy."
"I know that, don't you think I know that? Every day that passes by I write a draft and set it on fire because what words will make them understand what I went through? Sometimes I don't even fully understand what I went through- but I have to think of something- something that will-"
"Breathe" he held her shoulders, she realized then that they were rising and dropping rapidly.
When calmed down she looked up at him, "I'll figure it out."
"You don't have to figure it out alone" he said.
"You can just ask for a copy" she rolled her eyes.
"I thought they were all burned down."
"I have a rough rough draft of bullet points" she turned around.
"Of course you do" he smirked to himself.