The nagging inside my chest got louder as the rope around my wrists dug into my flesh - I couldn't feel the pain from the rope because of the adrenaline that was rushing through my body. Fear was all I could comprehend. Fear of him and fear of the unknown. But mostly him.
It's been more than ten minutes since I have been up and I didn't know where I was or what he had planned for me. I had silently cried until I ran out of tears. I knew what ever he was about to do would not only hurt me but it would traumatise me for life. I didn't know whether to scream out or cry out but as I silently wailed I knew I didn't want him to come near me- assuming he wasn't already in the room.
I was chained to what felt like a table -the hard surface on my back made sure I didn't have a shred of comfort and there was a bag over my head. The bag was so dark I couldn't even see if I was in a dark or light room. I don't know how many times I would tell myself to cry out and just get it over and done with because it was inevitable.
All of a sudden although I couldn't see I felt a presence next to my head, it didn't take much guessing from my side because of the way goosebumps burned on my skin and the battle in my chest. Without my consent a flood of tears flowed down my cheeks to my ears. I didn't have words -I didn't know if I had run out or they refused to be formed.
My throat burned simply because I refused to let out the storm in my lungs. I didn't see a reason to even so my lungs still burned in anticipation. It would not help me in anyway - even if someone was to want to help me no one would dare go against him. The sunken feeling of terror swallowed me whole.
"Lachlan, I'm sorry." I didn't know why I was here but I knew he would hurt me. I didn't know how and I didn't need to know how he would I just knew it would scar me -yet again another trauma that needed to be tended to like an open wound.
"Not yet Mo Grá ." I could never get his voice confused with any voice -it was distinct, deep- full of power and commanded attention. In addition it was the only voice that confused my body- made it shudder and tremble at the same time. So did he.
I closed my eyes when he took off what was over my head. They burned at the light in the room. I opened them even though I tried to recognise the room I couldn't- there was only a bright light above me - everything else I couldn't see aside from him of course.
"You start games yet you fail to complete them." From his tone one might have thought there was nothing wrong between us as if he wasn't about to make me scream in pain and agony.
My mind wavered to the fact that Anele was probably safe where she is and all was well, it won't be for nothing. I was able to get her out of here because if I hadn't done it -the warm tears that flowed down my cheeks would be flowing for a macabre reason. I shut my eyes taking in deep slow breaths.
I felt his hand rub his name that was tattooed on my skin. His fingers rained fire to my body. His touch felt foreign and condemning. I hated the tattoo of his name on my skin, telling me what I refused to believe or truly ever acknowledge. I didn't like reality -I loved writing and reading because other realms were my addiction -an addiction I would never grow out of love with especially now.
"Please-"
"You would rather drown." His deep chuckle sent chills down my spine.
"I want you to repeat your words." His piercing eyes speaking directly to my soul. I knew of the words he wished of me to repeat but I didn't want to. I remember that in that moment I couldn't find the words to describe how much I abhorred being caged I said the first thing that came to my mind. I wished I had said something else or shut my mouth.
The comical thing was the fact that I said drowning because I truly did think that it was rather the most painful and worst way to go. My feeling were all over the place and I was truthful- stupid but truthful.
I didn't blame myself. The emotions that had swirled through me were slowly consuming my life force inflicting upon me by him yet he stood in front me -not a single emotion detected from his eyes. Unbothered as I had a breakdown in front him. Desperate for acknowledgment of my feelings and for him to understand the hurt thinning me out.
"I-"
"You don't have the luxury of time on your side." His nonchalant demeanour frightening me. He delicately put back a towel instead now over my head as my broken voice cried out his name. Pathetic- he was my worst nightmare yet I still cried out to him. My throat clogged up as my body trembled afraid of what was coming, mercy the only other word on my lips. I could feel the table slightly recline as my heart beat increased.
Before I knew it water hit my face, drowning me physically and emotionally. My lungs screamed in pain as a shower of pain spread through out my body -the tears didn't and wouldn't change anything but yet they didn't stop. My screams ended in my throat as I fought for survival. I was sure that my restrains would leave marks as my body naturally fought for survival. He was actually doing this.
My body fell into panic he would not stop anytime soon. I couldn't breathe. Pain seemed to be the only thing I could make out as it completely swallowed me. As much as I knew the pain that came with gasping I couldn't stop as I clung onto what was left of my life force -the water harshly invading my lungs -my airways failing me.
I must have done something to come across him. I must have been the cause of atrocious events to deserve this. Father what have I done to deserve this. After what felt like an hour which was probably a few minutes he removed the towel. I was more afraid of the amount of water leaving my lungs than the oxygen I tried to gobble up.
"I-" coughing the warm water out of my mouth as my body cried out in pain to me. I tried to form the words he wanted to hear even though I was so scared to repeat them- I couldn't stop coughing and the coughs were lava up my throat. I was convinced there would be a hole in my throat.
"I -s- I would rather -I would rather drown than spend the remainder of my days with you." I quickly said sobbing out loud seeing the hue darken in his eyes. It was as if it was the first time I confessed the dreadful words to him. He was deranged.
"I didn't-I -I didn't mean it." I couldn't stop coughing no matter how hard I tried- the pain that came with it was ten fold. His chuckle made me hold my bladder -dread sprouting deep inside me. Before I could continue the towel was back as I tried to plead with his humanity -it wasn't long before I felt the pain of my lungs being filled up with water. Why was a part of me in denial. Why was I still alive.
He was taking away my ability to breathe and he did it so easily- I could feel my claustrophobia slowly creeping back. It had infected my life in a way I couldn't explain- one of the worst times of my life. Yet as I fought for the pathetic sorrow
I called my life I still cried out to him. I was willing to do anything in order for him to stop. Fire- no lava traveled through my nose to my lungs as I coughed, screamed and tried to beg him.
I felt dizzy. A migraine disrupting my thoughts. I couldn't think straight. I felt very weak, I could feel my life slowly slip away. It was not in anyway peaceful.
When he stopped -I couldn't believe that he did I believed he wanted to kill me- from the depth of my heart I did. I didn't understand what wrong I did to this man to hate me so much. I couldn't stop coughing out water. I didn't have much energy left as I coughed shaking my head at him afraid to utter anything he didn't like. Afraid of even moving.
"Lachlan-Lach- pleas-"
"Shhhh.-"
"As much as my heart and mind belong solely to you -you do not speak to me anyhow. -You don't sound like someone who is aware that their life belongs to me." He said watching me as I shook my head my words failing me -pain the only thing I have come to know. The power behind his words out me on edge, he really needed help.
"Don't look at me like that my love after all you would rather drown." The statement made my blood run cold. I shook my head in pain and sorrow still coughing out water. My throat screaming at me. I couldn't stop coughing.
"I'm sorry." I wished I could make him see how sorry I was -I wished he would listen. I could feel myself slowing dying. -painfully under the stream of water controlled by him. Only for him to pull me back and give me just a little taste of life before putting me under again.
Before I could make out what was going on I was fighting for my life again. I knew that the only reason why he gave me breathers was so I don't die. He would only bring me close to death- painfully close only to bring me back and make me experience it all over again. My body shook on the table as water poured down my lungs and nose completely depriving me of air. I could taste death. It was so painful. I didn't want to die. My hands were bleeding from the restrains- I could feel the thick warm liquid on my skin.
He removed the cloth making me face my side and cough out a stream of water as tears rushed down my wet cold cheeks. I tried to plead my case but every time my lips opened warm water flowed out of them in the process evoking a burning sensation in my lungs and every passageway I used to respire. I trembled at the agonising pain as I just lay there, I could feel his gaze on me. -I don't think I was only trembling over the pain anymore. Just when I thought I was done more water would force itself out of me.
"-please." I could barely make out my words, my vision was blurry even though he was quite clear. Speaking brought me another form of pain I couldn't describe or get under control but I knew what Lachlan would do if I gave him the idea of not being complicit - it would be worse.
I barely watched as he traced the tattoo that barred his name as if reminding himself of his humanity. At seeing his eyes sobs shook my body as I knew what was to come -I trembled in fear. I didn't want death it was indescribable pain -I also didn't want this I cried to God wishing I was never born. I would rather lose every good memory -never meet my family than to be his captive. I shut my eyes as they burned from the water hitting my face.
Excruciating didn't best describe what I felt as I tried to reason with whom people thought was human - it was impossible. On the bright side I will be dead- free from his claws. I have only read about the feeling of feeling your life slowly slip away I never thought I would experience it. My body stopped fighting as the molten lava inside my chest bubbled over erupting. I didn't dare fight. The trembling and jolts stops as my energy became depleted.
Even as the towel was removed from me -I was on autopilot as my body tried to rid itself of all the water in my system. I stopped fighting- I couldn't embrace the pain because such pain wasn't comforting in anyway. Not a single soul would be able to get used to such pain. Every time he did it it was as if it was the first time.
"Don't say I have never shown you mercy." His hands trailed to my sore throat as I cried I couldn't even imagine how I looked I couldn't feel my face. Even the tears that got heavier at his touch were all a response from my body. I stopped- I was numb.
"-If not with me -you belong with the dead." He said looking at me. I nodded my head slowly I didn't have energy- I believed my body was trying to survive him. My soul truly believed his heavy thick words that stroke a wound in my heart.
"You breathe because I allow it- just as I allow it I can easily take it away." He said before untying my restrains. I could feel that I was very close to death. My body was still coughing out water and trying to take in as much oxygen as it needed but slowly - doing anything at a hurried pace gave it the feeling of my head being split apart.
Deprived from oxygen and feeling nothing but trauma I wasn't surprised at my state. I was convinced that if he went on any further I would have died. I couldn't even believe that I was still alive by how much water had entered my system- I could feel the water in my lungs.
I tried to move -but at movement body curling coughs pulled through me. I was convinced I would cough blood. Every time I coughed my headache got worse the last thing I remembered was coughing feeling my life slowly slip away.
...
I sat outside the balcony watching the scenery before me. I didn't have the time to feel sorry for myself -at least for now. Deep inside I felt I cried enough and my tears didn't matter -not to me nor him. They wouldn't get me anywhere as much as I knew that deep down I still couldn't control my irresponsive body.
As much as I came out here I don't think I would ever be able to get over or get used to the view no matter how sad or scared I was. Having to quickly get over things was messing with my mental health. I was not the best at acting as if everything was okay but the situation will force my hand. I didn't want him displeased- I shivered at the thought.
I also liked that when I sat here I could watch everything from here but I wasn't so visible because of the murky balcony glass. I could watch without being bothered.
I came out here to try and rid the vivid pictures of water being pumped out of my chest. The pipes that ran down my throat left me unsettled. I had only been up for about a minute and was under heavy drugs but I saw everything. I found myself trying to stop my tapping foot by placing my hand on my knee. I couldn't stop the images, I was weak- I had been puking relentlessly.
I was used to doctors by now- I was before but now I was truly used to them. Tears welled up in my eyes as I recalled the memory of the doctor that came by to check on me look at me -a terrified look on his face as he faced Lachlan. My throat and chest still hurt and my wrists still burned. I was first woken up by him assessing my body. That's when he had told Lachlan if I didn't go to the hospital in the next thirty minutes I would probably die.
I remember clearly that the doctor failed to hide his fear. I don't recall what broke me the most the doctors expression or the eyes of the Viking man. He was quiet as he watched me. He looked unbothered the thought alone brought me shivers. I slowly wiped the tears away focusing at the task at hand. That was a day ago. The doctor suggested that I stay over but the Viking man didn't allow it.
Sighing looking elsewhere.
I watched the staple food before me. I didn't have an appetite- I doubted anyone who went through the knee buckling experience I went through would. It was one of my favourite things to eat back home, we call it uMamkhwanazi. It wasn't anything special -it is a type of sweet bread with raisins in it- see nothing special -I was the one with the problem. An absolute crack head when it came to it.
It was also my fathers favourite I suspected that maybe that's why I loved it so much. I knew that he had especially had Anne learn to make it for me -it didn't make me feel any type of positive feelings towards the him. I wanted to kill him yet I trembled in his presence. I have never felt so unsure of myself.
Despite seeing it in front of me I didn't feel like eating maybe it was the images painted in my brain of water continuously being pumped out of me but I knew I would rather eat than get in trouble with Lachlan. I made sure my hands were washed and dried before sitting down knowing I had no choice -I haven't even touched a slice since I have sat down. The wind brushed the goosebumps that had recently formed on my skin-it wasn't from the cold.
I tried -relentlessly to get my mind of the scenes that dominated my mind of when I first woke up. At this point I would appreciate anything else.
I almost jumped being startled as he sat before me, my sight became blurry as my body froze on it's own accord. From my blurry sight I could see him wiping his hands clean and moving my plate over to him. I watched him quietly as he slowly removed all the raisins with a silver blurry utensil. I have never noticed that he noticed how much I hated them. The shrivelled up weird devils.
As much as I loved the bread I couldn't stand the raisins I remember how much this simple act would make my sister infuriated. She didn't think it fell under good table manners but I could not care any less - I didn't like the taste of them and their appearance just freaked me out. I actually was scared of even touching them.
"If you won't eat the entire thing -then. -Don't eat it at all." She would say as if I would ever stop eating it.
He carefully removed all of them for me before pouring some juice and sliding everything over -carefully analysing my features.
There was no period of healing with Lachlan after all I belonged to him.
"Eat Isla." He commanded my body didn't waste a second as my unstable hands moved over to the bread -I noticed he didn't butter it -just how I liked it. I managed to take a bite -and tastelessly chewed before swallowing. My throat burned at the simple act. I was finding it hard to freely breathe just by his presence alone.
I didn't know what to do with myself.
"Don't faint." His words were levelled. I could see how much he detested the mere act of when my body would decide to ditch the scene, it wasn't something I had power over. Yet I felt accountable.
"I won't hurt you unless you give me a reason to." It was as if it was the most sensible thing in the entire world.
"You -never need a reason." The words left my lips before I could catch them. I didn't speak with a mouth full no matter the situation that was instilled in me. Despite the fear I wanted to never see him again or be close to him. He didn't respond but only watched. I could never get used to him- terror ran through my veins. His powerful demeanour made it hard to form proper speech.
"You —will hurt -me." Balancing eating and being around him and not fainting was tough. I had nothing in particular to say but I wanted him to see and feel how terrified I was-am. I was afraid to say anything else I don't think I could from the breaking of my voice. I couldn't even imagine myself saying anything- those silent void eyes that could completely change at any second made my heart stop.
No matter how much I despised him his features were strong -not a second went by where one wouldn't acknowledge how handsome Lachlan was, everything about him was captivating. He looked more intimidating.
"Why do you hate me Lachlan?" I was itching inside I couldn't understand.
"Come here." Was all he said making my heart drop, I looked around looking at my options I didn't see any guards around and there was more than enough space for me to run inside but even though my mind wondered to that my body sobered at the thought of disobeying him. I couldn't control the warm tears that rushed down my cheeks.
It wasn't long before I was before him, he looked at me before sitting me on the table before him- easily. His strength scared me and make me uncomfortable between my thighs at the same time. I was ashamed. It wasn't a tall table but it was neither that short but sitting on the table with Lachlan in between my thighs made me uneasy- it didn't by any chance work in my advantage height wise. I found it hard to breathe normally.
I hated how he didn't even need to do anything but yet just by close proximity my body withered in his scent and body heat. He had no shame in his hands moving around my body as if he owned me. I looked at my hands feeling pathetic because of how bothered I was. The man literally almost killed me yet his touch didn't repulse -no matter how much I hated him my body was weak in his hands.
"Please don't touch me Lachlan." My voice broke as my emotions ran high. I hated that I started to hate myself because of him.
"Don't make me fuck you up Isla." He rarely swore but when he did my stomach would twist in fear. His tone the same. His eyes dared me to go on. I averted my gaze -gulping. His rough hands slowly moving up my dress as my body trembled under his touch.
"Please-"
"Do you not belong to me -has anything changed?" I could hear the clear warning in his voice as he awaited his answer my tears didn't move him as he watched me. Not once did he keep his hands to himself. His hands always managed to set my body on fire. I was scared as I shook my head.
"No -" my voice broke as he slid me closer making me place my hands on his shoulders as he bowed his head and slowly inhaled my scent -his head on my neck. I knew that surely he could feel my trembling hands that were wrapped around him and could hear the drums of my heart but he didn't seem moved as he looked back at me - awaiting.
"I belong to you Lachlan." I could tell how much those words calmed him down- it was a body freezing sight -as I watched the storm in his eyes slightly calm. I could tell there was a lot wrong with him. I bit my lip as he removed my panties - fear and embarrassment coursed through my body because of how wet I was. We belonged in the same psych ward.
"I'm not a man who is easily set of but-" he started removing what was on the table to the chairs -he spoke as I wasn't naked on the table with him between my legs. "-Lachlan please-" I couldn't afford to scream right now, the doctor did say to keep my speech at minimum. I couldn't afford to hate myself.
"Lay down."
"Please I-" I choked on my words as I followed his command. My heart yet again in my mouth as his hands brushed my thighs as if uncharted ground-
"Deny me of what belongs to me- you won't live to tell the tale." My chest evident of every breath I took as I watched him look at my core as if it was treasure he had been searching for ever since he came into existence. My stomach tightened as just the thought of what was about to happen the trace of his hands making it hard for me to focus my mind of hatred for him.
"Lachlan you can't do this- I mean we are outside anyone could see." I panicked knowing where this would lead I had come to terms with my self that I was scared of his male genital- he was insatiable. I didn't get a chance to continue as I felt his mouth on my core making my legs shake in pleasure. Yet again depriving me of oxygen.
Just as he could deliver me unimaginable pain on me he could also introduce me to the stars and planets -he had the power to make my eyes roll to the back of my head- as my legs trembled my stomach twisting and my breathing audible for a second- my essence flowed from my core as illicit pleasure overtook my body.
A starved beast -it was as if my orgasms encouraged him as his sucked on my clit holding my legs open indulging on his holy grail. Everything else fell away the fear, hatred for him and myself as he brought me to my knees. His tongue penetrating me -my mouth producing audible whispers of his name as I came undone. Part of me understood why my body was under his spell- he made me familiar with the Milky Way and beyond. Such powerful Sorcery.
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Please don't come for the author- she will make it up to you guys. I hope y'all are ready.
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