Your hometown of Daegu looks very different from the last time you were really here. It changes a lot. And it changes pretty quickly.
But some things about it stay the same - family-run restaurants, streets lined with little shops passed down from generations, the parks and the temples, the playground in your old neighborhood with the basketball court that you know all too well.
They make the place home, Mrs. Kim says. That doesn't change no matter how far or how long you've been away.
You want to disagree. This place was never home. It felt like bits of it during the times you used to watch ballet performances at the Opera House with your mom or when your dad used to grill makchang on Friday nights.
But when she decided to leave and then he remarried, you had just memories of home left. Your sisters' resentment over your happiness for your mother as she achieved her dreams took all that was remaining, and coming here reminds you more than what you lost; it reminds you of what you can never have - that space to dream, the place of safety, the love that would endure time and distance.
You enjoy the best short ribs dish over Mr. Kim's recordings of his saxophone performances. Mrs. Kim dotes on you like her own daughter, and Taehyung announces all the things you'll be doing now that you're both back home, taking your respective breaks that you deserve, and spending the money that you worked hard for.
You eventually leave for some rest. The house you're staying at is far from the buzz of the city. It's private and secure, a little too spacious for one, and boasts of the views of the mountains. Jimin had found it, knowing you'd need the peace and quiet amidst all that would be taking place during your short time here.
Taehyung will be staying over at his parents' place, but they insist that it's open for you to visit anytime you want. You think you need the time for yourself, though. Your job often requires you to be around people, and you're thankful for the choice you have now to be away from them. For some time, at least.
[From: Manager Jung] Are you settled? I've got a script for you to go through. Sending it now
Your agent-slash-manager's message disrupts your moment of tranquility as you sit out at the garden, watching the sun set. You'd arrived from Seoul in time for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon at Taehyung's parents' house before heading to yours.
[To: Manager Jung] Yeah, all good. But give me a week until I read the script. Don't want to think much about work yet
[From: Manager Jung] Fine. Just don't take too long
You sigh, knowing that though you promised Jin and Jimin that you won't be thinking about work while you're here - you need a break from it all, they told you - your manager won't really let you. And much as you want to complain about him pushing you real hard, you're thankful that Jung Hoseok always does.
He was the one who saw your talent and insisted you've got a bright future after one casting call that you were almost late for. He was strategic in which roles to pitch you for as a rookie actor, and which ones would get you ahead of the game, no matter how challenging it was. During the times you wondered if you were meant for this industry, he always assured you that you were. There was always going to be a bigger break after the last, he believed, and he promised you he'd go searching for that role until you got the biggest break of your career.
And every time you think he'll cross the line of pressuring you too much, he says something sweet, brotherly, friendly.
[From: Manager Jung] But take care of yourself there, ok? Don't let them talk down on you. Don't let them crush your dreams
You'd cry if his words came with a hug.
[From: Manager Jung] And guard your heart. Don't let him hurt you again
You pretend he means your father; he let your sisters' resentment of you go on after all, and his inaction made you feel unloved in your own home.
You don't want to think that Hoseok means someone else because it would mean that for all the times you questioned if everything you gave up to chase your dream was worth it, then he knew it was because of the man who broke your heart 6 years ago. You don't want to think that all these years, Hoseok knew that your buzz-worthy dating life, whose aftermath he always had to manage, was just your futile attempt at getting over the first and only man you ever loved.
**
Being in any sports facility unsettles you. You always claim that the buzz of sporting events just isn't your cup of tea - you prefer the noise of a film or television set, or of a theater right before the movie starts. It wasn't always like that, of course. You used to enjoy the screams and heckles of sports fans; you used to be one of them.
But you found out the hard way that losing someone means you lose the parts of you that you'd adopted because of them, that you fall out of love with the things you used to love because of them.
Basketball is one of those things. It's why Taehyung used to not invite you whenever there were Thunders games at Jamsil despite the free tickets always available for you; he knew you'd say no and he hates rejection.
But Mr. Song is a man you can't say no to. Not only is he the city's mayor, he's also a good friend of your father's, which is how the chief official got wind of your return.
Your trip isn't meant to be publicized. Actors take breaks and visit their hometowns regularly without attracting the media, and oftentimes, that's thanks to the local government, who employs their political will and own security to ensure that celebrities aren't disturbed while they're on vacation or just visiting family. It's good for them, of course, but it also sometimes comes with small favors, like a private dinner with some of their close friends and some photos or autographs. You don't really mind, especially since the same is extended to Taehyung, hence why the lunch earlier at the mayor's residence wasn't all that bad. It was only slightly awkward with your father because you chose to meet up with Taehyung's family first before yours, but your dad didn't dwell on it.
Other than privacy, one other thing you get are free courtside Korean Basketball League tickets. The Pegasus just recently moved to Daegu from Incheon and there'd been a lot of promotion to get the city to give their full support to their new hometown team. Mr. Song thinks that photos of you and Taehyung attending the game will be the publicity that the team needs, and while your best friend genuinely agrees to the arrangement, you only do so half-heartedly. You'll at least see your friends who are playing for the other team, but even the thought of Jungkook and Namjoon being back home and the party they'll throw after is making you even more unsettled.
"Hmm, number 16 was pretty cute," you whisper to Taehyung as you head out of the locker room after some photos with the home team. "I wonder if he'll be at the party tonight."
"No, he won't," your best friend responds.
"Why not? Because he's from the other team? I'm sure that Jungkook won't mind, right? I mean, yeah it's his house but—"
"Tonight is for college friends only."
"We didn't even go to their university," you point out, given that you and Taehyung studied in Seoul and had met there, instantly clicking after finding out you both hailed from the same city. "Why are we going?"
"We are honorary members," he replies. "I went to high school with them and you..." he trails, trying to figure out how to phrase how you became an honorary member of their group of friends without bringing him up.
"Are the ex of one of their friends," you finish for him. "You can say it, you know?"
"I don't know, can I?" He arches a brow.
"Yes. I don't deny the fact that Yoongi and I dated."
"You just deny how much it affected you."
"You mistake my amazing ability of moving on for denial," you groan. "But oh shit. Wait. Does this mean that he'll be there at the party?"
Taehyung huffs as he settles in his seat and looks at your worried eyes. "For someone who doesn't seem to be in denial, you sure look a bit anxious that he might be there tonight. Didn't you say you can be civil with your exes?"
"Yeah, I can," you reply defensively. "I don't know about him. But then again, he moved on first, so I doubt seeing me would affect him much."
Your best friend lets out a breath, not wanting to argue. He's learned long ago that when it comes to Yoongi, you're dead set on many things - like the narrative that he moved on first, that he was so much happier without you, that dreams were always more important for him, whether it was yours or his. Taehyung tried to help you process that whole experience, especially the aftermath, as you went on dating one man after another after you found out about Yoongi dating some local musician.
But you always had a default answer, that you've always been that way - quick to fall in love and quick to fall out of it, and Yoongi was no exception. You met, fell in love, and while you technically didn't fall out of love, the breakup left you no choice but to do just that; he was the one who insisted that you leave, after all, and you'd been the one too heartbroken that he didn't love you enough to make you stay.
"Well then let's just see what happens," Taehyung shrugs. "We've got a game to watch, a party to go to, and friends to catch up with."
"And a nice, peaceful home to retire to after tonight. I'll need all the good energy before I see the rest of my family tomorrow," you sigh.
Right, there's that, Taehyung frowns. Your family's too complicated that you insist you don't want him to get sucked into the drama, hence why you don't want him to go with you. But between that and the possibility of seeing your ex, he could only hope that during this trip, you won't get your heart broken too early, too quickly, or too hard.