"SERIOUSLY? Not even a week in, and you're already suspended?"
It was a peaceful Saturday at nasa sala kami ni Inari. She brought some snacks with her when she found out that I'd be suspended next week. Unlike Noam, who kept on nagging and reprimanding me, Inari was all laughter and promises of visit. Kaya mula kahapon at hanggang sa matapos daw ang house arrest ko, dito siya tatambay.
Of course, since she's my childhood bestfriend, it's not supposed to be a surprise. Kaya naman, I found it weird when Noam looked shocked at Inari's frequent visits.
"At dahil pa nakipag-away ka... para sagipin ang iba?!" she exclaimed, then falling in a fit of laughter that only she knew about. "Gosh, Morri, that curse they placed on you is fantastic! Hindi ka lang nawalan ng memorya, bumait ka pa!"
I glared at her. "Ano ang mabait sa pag-away ko sa limang babae? I destroyed their faces."
"I mean, those mean streaks of yours... hindi mo na ata mababago 'yan. But, it's the first time since five years ago that you fought for other people's sake."
First time since five years ago? When I was ten...?
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Anong ibig mong sabihin? Does it have something to do with why I tried to kill Brielle?"
"Well, for Brielle," she paused, averting her gaze, "it was a complicated situation and..."
Naputol ang sasabihin niya sa sunod-sunod na doorbell. The impatient ringing made me scowl. Isang tao lang naman sa buong bayan na 'to ang alam ang bahay ko at magdo-doorbell na walang bukas.
Nakasimangot kong binuksan si Noam. I was about to scold him when the sight of Willow shut me up.
"Willow," parang tangang banggit ko sa pangalan niya.
The girl smiled shyly at me. "H-hi, Morri! Uh... tinanong ko si N-Noam kung saan ka nakatira para doon s-sa tutoring session..."
I blinked. It's a Saturday so I wasn't expecting her, but I can't dismiss her now, right?
Tumango ako sa kaniya. "Ah, oo nga pala. Pasok ka, Willow," sinulyapan ko ang lalaking nakakunot-noo sa tabi niya. "Ikaw. What do you need?"
"You've got tutoring session?"
The disbelief in his voice made me agree internally. Me? A tutoring session? If this was my previous life, that meant hell would freeze over. My ability to memorize and remember just anything is a gift geniuses would cry for.
"Yep," I answered, popping the last syllable. "Medyo trip kong magbagong-buhay this year, so first, I wanted to raise my academic rank," I smirked. "Maybe even get the top spot?"
To my surprise and great offense, the man friend laughed.
"Pft. Morri, even if you study your ass off, I don't think na kaya mo kahit top one-hundred," natatawang pahayag niya.
My eye twitched. Nang tuluyang makapasok si Willow ay hinarangan ko si Noam sa pintuan at nginitian ka ng pagkatamis-tamis.
"Maybe not the top spot, but I'll surely be ranked higher than you," then I slammed the door in his face.
Nang lumingon ay nakita ko ang gumugulong sa sahig na Inari sa kakatawa at si Willow na tila takot na takot sa nangyari. She eyed me anxiously. I gave her a reassuring smile and made her sit on the table, next to Inari, who was busy slapping her stomach.
Tawang-tawa ka, girl?
Sitting down, I glared at the woman, subtly kicking her knee under the table. She hissed in pain, shooting me an annoyed glance before sitting straight and smiling gracefully. Sunod niyang tiningnan si Willow na tila'y estatwang nakaupo sa tabi.
"Willow, right? I'm Inari, Morri's friend."
Sinulyapan siya nang namumulang si Willow. She smiled at Inari, nodding and introducing herself as well.
There were small conversations before Willow started teaching me stuff. I wanted to make her comfortable with both me and Inari in this new environment. Gets ko naman ang basic subjects, those that I've already learned before, so it was the magic-specific ones that I had trouble. Iyon din ang sinabi kong i-focus ni Willow.
Akala ko pa aalis si Inari at mabo-bored, but she's listening attentively to Willow.
"Did Morri bully you into teaching her?" Inari asked teasingly after two hours of studying.
I shot her a tired glance above the magic theories I'd been reading for ten minutes now. Bored na siguro ang babaeng 'to.
"Eh?!" mabilis na umiling-iling si Willow. "H-Hindi! Ano, actually... ako nga ang nagsuggest sa kaniya..."
"Oh? Why?"
Inignora ni Inari ang kanina ko pang pagtitig sa kaniya. I can hear some of her thoughts, and just like the twins, she just finds it fun to get reactions from Willow. Alam naman niya kung bakit nandito 'yan.
"K-kasi tinulungan niya 'ko..." ibinaba ng babae ang tingin, "kina Sophia..."
'Sophia? That's a familiar name.' thought Inari. Ngunit ang sinagot niya kay Willow ay, "Who's she? Your original bully?"
Umiwas ng tingin si Willow at piniling hindi sumagot.
For a second, awkwardness lingered in the air. Inignora lang ulit iyon ni Inari na nakatitig pa rin kay Willow at naghihintay ng sagot.
This girl... seriously. Hindi niya ata alam na napaka-intimidating ng aura niya. Though, she often teases people for fun, her expression are usually of disinterest. Sabayan pa ng pulang buhok at matalim na mga mata, she doesn't look as friendly as she imagines.
"Willow," tawag ko at ibinaba ang libro. "I'm done with this."
The girl looked saved at my voice. Ini-angat niya ang kumikinang na mga mata sa'kin at kinuha ang libro. She proceeded to explain some of the magic types that I have no real intention of understanding so much about. Ang tanging binasa ko lang ay about sa psychic abilities that included the mind.
Magical abilities that are directly connected to the mind are rare. Kagaya nitong mind reading, only nine people in history have the ability. There wasn't much information about it. Nalaman ko ring hindi naririnig ang lahat na iniisip ng tao, but just their strongest thoughts or 'yong tungkol sa'kin. The section of the book also recommends that I find a method of relaxing my brain whenever people's thoughts get too loud. There are instances where the mind-readers think of it as their own.
Take control of it, I guess.
"So?" Inari asked again, nibbling on her pen. "What did Morticia do to help you? Is it why she's suspended?"
Natigil sa pagpapaliwanag si Willow at mukhang nahiya. Bago pa siya makasagot ay sinipa ko na si Inari sa ilalim ng mesa. She hissed out a curse, trying to glare at me with amused eyes.
"You already know what happened," I grumbled.
Ngumuso siya. "And I'm having fun," she chuckled and glanced at Willow. "Sorry. It's just fun teasing you."
"Ah, o-okay langㅡ"
"Pft. That's probably the reason why they keep bullying you," Inari smiled cockily, "you let them."
Hindi ako nagsalita. I couldn't argue with that. It was Willow being a pushover that these things happened.
"But why do you let them bully you?"
Hindi rin nakasagot si Willow. She only lowered her gaze and started cleaning up. With a quiet voice, sinabi niyang aalis na siya. Tahimik lang din namin siyang pinanood ni Inari, na mukhang walang pinagsisihan.
Nang tuluyang makaalis si Willow sa apartment ay inihagis ko sa mukha ni Inari ang unan.
"Ouch!" she complained, pouting. "Nagtanong lang naman ako!"
"Ayusin mo magtanong. Mukhang natakot tuloy," sagot ko.
She grinned. "Baka sa mukha mo, Morri?"
"Sipain ko kaya mukha mo. At 'saka, ang mukhang 'to?" I gestured at my face. "Ito? Nakakatakot? My face screams perfection. It induces emotions such as fascination, admiration, devotionㅡ"
"Okay, narcissist."
I tackled her to the ground.
Just then, there was a series of knocks on the door. Dahil ayokong umalis sa pagkaka-chokehold kay Inari, sumigaw na lang ako na hindi nakalock ang pinto.
The door slowly opened, and Noam peeked in, not even slightly disturbed at our position.
"Ano 'yon? Ba't biglang umalis si Willow? Tapos na tutor mo?"
I grimaced and nodded at the girl under me. Inari smiled innocently.
"I only asked a harmless questionㅡ"
"Tinanong mo kung bakit nagpapabully," putol ko.
Noam faked a gasp. "Tinanong mo 'yon, Inari? Bakit?"
"Okay, first of all, hindi ka pinagpala sa acting, Noam. Second, it was a harmless question! Sinasakal ko ba siya habang nagtatanong?"
I let the madwoman go, staring at her with disbelief. Paniwala-paniwala naman siyang hindi nakaka-offend ang tinanong niya. I mean, it is a curiosity that must be answered, but can't she ask it in a mellow way? Why would you even bluntly ask a pushover why she's a pushover?
"Pero, 'di nga, ba't mo tinanong?" pursiging tanong ni Noam na tuluyan nang pumasok. At least, he closed the door behind him. "Baka naman nagkaroon si Willow ng traumatic flashbacks dahil do'n."
"Well, Morri wants to help the girl, so I thought we should get to the main problem first. Honestly, it's because she lets others walk over her."
"Mabait lang talaga at mahiyain ang batang 'yon."
I glanced at Noam. Isn't Willow just the same age as us? Dapat nga sila ang tawagin kong bata.
"Still, a person should have their limits. And I've heard rumors about that Sophia. Hindi dapat hinahayaan ang mga 'yon na tapakan ka."
"I get what you mean, but," umupo na rin si Noam na may seryosong expresiyon. "Shouldn't you let her realize that? And make her sort it herself? Kailangan niya lang ng maliit na push."
Napatitig kaming dalawa ni Inari sa kaniya. He had his chin propped on his intertwined hands as he mulled over the problem with a serious expression.
"What the," Inari almost cursed. "Problem expert ka ba?"
"Mas may social cues naman ako kaysa sa'yo!"
I sighed and looked out the window. The orange sky was slowly approaching. Malapit na palang maggabi pero buong araw na nandito ang dakilang tambay na si Inari. I also didn't notice that Willow has been here for hours.
"Hindi pa ba kayo uuwi?" pagpapalayas ko sa kanila.
"Ha!" Noam suddenly scoffed, glaring Inari down. "If I know, pinaalis mo lang si Willow kasi nagseselos ka."
Ano na namang kabaliwan 'to?
"Really?" Inari answered back with a cocky smirk. "Then, is your presence here because you're jealous too? Siguro kanina ka pa sa labas at naghihintay ng cue na makasali sa'min dito."
Napabuntong-hininga ako sa milyong beses na. Bago pa nila masira ang apartment ko ay pinagpalayo ko na ang dalawa.
"Hindi pa ba kayo uuwi?" pagpapalayas ko ulit.
"Dito ako kakain," sagot ng nakahalukipkip na Noam. "Nagluto si Mama ng ulam na ihahatid ko daw dito."
"Okay? Maghahatid ka lang naman pala dapat, ba't nauwi na sa dito ka kakain?" Inari asked with a teasing smirk before facing me, ignoring Noam. "Ako, dito din kakain, Morri!"
"Pinalayas ka na ba sa inyo? Halos buong araw ka na dito," nag-aalala kong sambit.
I'm new to this life and all, but Inari doing this doesn't all feel that familiar. Lalo na noong una kaming nagkita, na nalaman kong childhood bestfriend ko siya, she looked guarded against me. We had this distance between us... but now, I swear I see her more than the boy next door.
Natawa siya at binigyan ako ng 'okay' sign. "Don'cha worry. Maganda ang relationship ko with fam," then she suddenly stood up. "Ah! Magsasaing muna ako. Para makakain tayo mamaya 'pag nakuha na ni Noam ang ulam."
I, the owner of the apartment, watched my guest navigate her way around expertly. Hinayaan ko lang siyang gawin ang gusto niya sa kusina para naman may contribution siya dito sa bahay, at hindi lang nakahiga sa sofa at nanonood ng TV ko.
'Weird.'
Sinulyapan ko si Noam nang marinig ang boses niya sa isip ko. Matiim ang pagkakatitig niya sa likod ni Inari. His brows were furrowed, and his lips were in a confused frown.
Mahina kong sinipa ang paa niya para makuha ang atensiyon. He looked like he was broken out of trance when he looked at me.
"M-Morri?"
"Ako nga. May problema ka ba?"
He blinked. There was a moment of hesitation before he shook his head.
"Wala. Ikaw, Morri, may problema ka?"
Ang angas ng tanong niya na parang nakikipag-away pa siya sa'kin.
"Nah. You've just been staring at Inari for a while now," ngumiti ako. "Crush mo?"
It was fun to watch Noam's face go through a lot of emotions. Natulala siya, kumunot ang noo, sumulyap kay Inari na may pagkagulat, nagkaroon ng disgusto ang mukha, tapos tumingin sa'kin na parang pinatay ko buong pamilya niya. His jaw dropped, staring at me with wide and incredulous eyes.
"What the fuckㅡsa lahatㅡcrush amputaㅡbakit mo naisipㅡthe fuckㅡ si Inari talaga?!"
"Anong ako?" malakas na tanong ni Inari mula sa kasina.
"Crush kaㅡ"
I was cut off by Noam, who immediately put his hands over my mouth. He leaned closer to me, his other hand on the table for balance.
Pinandilatan niya ako ng mata bago sinagot si Inari, "Pangit ka," aniya at hindi na pinakinggan ang mura ng babae. "Tumahimik ka nga. Mali 'yong assumption mo 'no. It's just... Inari's acting strange."
Isn't Inari always strange? I wanted to ask but thought against it.
Ibinaba niya din ang kamay sa bibig kaya nakasagot ako, "What do you mean strange?"
"Kaya nga. What do you mean strange?"
Halos mapasigaw kami sa gulat ni Noam nang biglang lumitaw ang nakangiting mukha ni Inari sa likod. She had a creepy smile on her face, staring holes at Noam's skull while holding a knife. Kailan pa siya nakalapit dito?
"What the fuck?!" singhal ng lalaki sa kaniya.
Doon na tumawa si Inari at umatras. Napahawak ako sa dibdib habang pinagsasabihan ni Noam ang kaibigan.
"Tangina! Huwag kang manggulat na gano'n! What if I had a heart attack? Kanina pa ako namatay dito! 'Tsaka bakit may dala kang kutsilyo e magsasaing ka lang naman?!"
"Manggugupit sana ako ng buhok."
"Your hair's already short!"
"Ba't ka ba naninigaw?! 'Saka, hindi buhok ko. Buhok mo!"
Nakangiti ko lang na pinanood ang dalawa. Their nonsensical fights are quite amusing. May mga bumabagabag pa rin sa'kin but I decided to forget them for tonight. Just for now.
Until this dream of mine ends, I think I'll just try to enjoy this life.
Iyon ang inisip ko nang matulog sa gabing 'yon. I had a dreamless sleep. It's been like this since I got into a fight. It's nice to have a peaceful night every once in a while. Those strange dreams don't do anything but disturb me.
Willow arrived this afternoon again, sunod-sunod si Inari na may lollipop sa bibig. Noam was leaning on the railing, watching us discreetly. Or as discreetly as he thinks. Obvious naman na kanina pa siya sumusulyap-sulyap dito.
So I invited him in. Willow didn't seem to mind. Pero kita namang mas nahiya siya.
Thankfully, Noam, despite his usual scowl at school, is easygoing. Mukha ngang mas naging komportable pa si Willow sa kaniya, kaysa kay Inari na ngiting-aso lang ang alam. The first two hours of the study session went by smoothly, until Willow said something out of the blue.
"I... There's really no reason why I let them. Siguro, natatakot akong mas masaktan. O baka iba ang saktan nila. Pero... sa lahat... ayoko lang talaga magkagulo. Kaya kung pwede... ako na lang..."
Natigilan kaming tatlo. Inari didn't say anything and just stared at her, while Noam was nodding like the expert he thinks he is.
"Or maybe they think you're an easy prey," sambit ni Inari matapos ang isang minutong katahimikan. "No, wait, you are."
Hindi namin siya pinansin.
"Hindi ka lang ba nagpapa-apekto?" tanong ni Noam.
"Okay lang naman because I can just heal myself!"
Proud pa siya. I can't help but think that with Willow's kind naivety, her magic almost feels like a curse.
Although... I pursed my lips to stop a smile. She's stopped stuttering.
"That's a stupid way ofㅡ"
"Well," putol ko kay Inari, "letting them be isn't a good habit. I admire your kind heart, Willow, but you shouldn't let yourself be hurt and humiliated like that. You deserve better."
Tumango-tango ang dalawang puro lang tanong pero walang magandang sinasabi.
"Ang mga ganiyang tao. The more you let them, the more they'll do it. Hindi lang sa'yo at sa ibang tao na rin," dagdag ko. "And you can't just hope that someone will come to help you, or wait until you graduate. Kasi as early as now, you can help yourself. You don't need other people to save you."
I've had my fair share of bitches in my previous life. Hindi naman sila gano'n kabitchy sa'kin, since I can end their social life or business with a snap. But I've seen them act so ruthlessly to other people.
Hindi naman gano'n kasobra kagaya dito. My gosh, the people here act like they're in an American teenage show where there are mean girls and stuff. No, the bitches in my previous life are as sneaky as a snake. They'd isolate a person, post stuff on social media, and make the person lose their mind from paranoia.
Tinitigan ako nina Noam at Inari na parang baliw. Willow, however, stared at me with admiration in her eyes.
"Tama ka, Morri," she smiled. "Kaya nga plano kong baguhin ang sarili ko ngayon! So... so, ano..." she bit her lower lip, avoiding my gaze. "May favor sana ako."
Napataas ako ng kilay.
"Maybe... you can teach me to be like you?"
She looked so innocent and afraid when she asked the question. Nalaglag ang panga ni Noam, habang napahiga naman si Inari sa tawa. I could only stare at her in surprise. Is this girl, who could be a protagonist in a teen-fiction book, asking me to teach her to be like me? Ako na kinaiinisan ng eighty-percent of the school population?
"Pft! Be likeㅡ" Inari chortled. "Si Morri pa talaga? Hahahaha!"
"Oo nga," Noam seconded. "Mabait at masunurin ka Willow..."
Sinasabi ba ng gagong 'to na hindi ako mabait at masunurin?
"I-I mean, kung pwede lang naman!" Willow's face was so red as she scrambled to explain things. "Kasi nakaka-admire si Morticia. She's confident, and beautiful, and kind, and she doesn't let rumors defeat her! She also cares a-about others... kahit maliit lang. S-saka, s-sabi ng kambal... kung gusto ko daw magbago... magpaturo a-ako kay Morri..."
Ang kambal? Those two... What the fuck is running in their devilish minds?
"The twins? You're close with them?"
"Uh, kinausap nila ako matapos ng meeting," sagot ni Willow sa tanong ni Noam.
"Indeed, Morri doesn't give a fuck about people but this girl is not kind. Nah," umiling si Inari. "You got the wrong person, Willow."
Nao-offend na ako sa sinasabi ng dalawang 'to, ha.
"If you're looking for a role model, wouldn't Brielle be a better fit?"
Inari quickly glanced at me at Noam's statement, while Willow stiffened. Wala naman akong narinig na mali sa sinabi no'ng isa. Matagal ko nang inassume na Brielle fan ang lalaking 'to, kasama no'ng si Koa, so it's not a surprise.
I also agree that Brielle is the better role model. Not me. After all, an ordinary person can be as beautiful, achieving, and kind as her.
However, they cannot be as perfect as me.
That means, I can't also teach them to be as perfect as me. Kasi ako na ang taong 'yon.
"Pero," Willow pursed her lips. "Gusto ko si... Morticia."
Hmm.
Pwede naman siguro ng exception.
"Fine," I answered.
My traitorous bestfriend stared at me in disbelief. Hindi ko siya pinansin at napangiti na lang sa galak na lumitaw sa mukha ni Willow.
That was a promise I made to Willow. And with that, we spent the next hours in quiet bliss. I also felt satisfied. Nanatali ang feeling na 'yon hanggang sa makaalis ang dalawa at kaming dalawa na lang ni Inari ang natira.
"Hoy," tawag ko sa kaniya. "Hindi ka pa ba uuwi?"
"Why do you want to help that girl so much? It's... not like you."
Natigilan ako sa tanong niyang 'yon. Why am I helping Willow? Was it because of pity or out of kindness?
Pero tama din naman si Inari. It's not like me to just help.
Back then, I never minded these things. Their problems weren't my own. I was aware of things but I never did anything in my power to help them. Wala naman akong pakialam sa drama nila. In fact, I thought that they would only stain my perfect life.
So why am I so good to her? It's not because she's a damsel in distress and I'm a knight in a white horse.
Just... she's my first friend here.
Someone who's not a part and could never be a part of Morticia's life. She's not someone who introduced herself as my enemy, relative, or friend.
Maybe I wanted that change.
Maybe I wanted to make a friend myself.
As the Morticia of this life.
As the Morticia this time.
"Wala lang. She's cute," tanging sagot ko sa kaniya.