TW || if you do not like guns, please read with caution. no violence occurs, but there will be mentions of guns and shooting.
I'm in a place I'd seen too many times. The air felt familiar, the surroundings were tight around my body like a close knit blanket. I blink. I blink, but not too fast, not because I want to miss anything, but in fear of something appearing in front of me. Something that may be there in the time it took to blink.
The wind whispered in my hair, lulling sweet songs into my ears while it sent shivers down my spine. My toes were cold and wet, digging into the grass that held mildew in such early mornings. But it wasn't early morning, was it? In fact, I couldn't see past my own hand. It was almost like there was an illuminating light that just shone on me and nothing else.
I open my mouth to say something, but I can't. My jaw felt tight and my tongue wasn't existent. Suddenly I mash my mouth together and feel my teeth start to chip away, melt, like powder fallen into water. They disintegrated. A sour taste started to fall in my mouth, my eyes suddenly shut tight and a sense of fear washed over me.
"You're not alone, Anna."
I whimper. My body felt as if I had no control, as if I was some sort of inflatable flailing object they put in front of stores. I lifted my hand, but it was a fuzzy feeling as if TV static was coursing through my veins. I cried out, but my mouth stayed shut. The tears that welted were burning my eyes. The pads of my fingers reach to my mouth even though the further I was reaching out, the more it felt as if I was free-falling down a dark pit full of nothing; bottomless. I was falling.
"Cat got your tongue?"
What's happening?
Why can't I move?
Why can't I speak?
"Open your eyes, Anna. Look at me."
Another brush of wind passed me, but this time it shook me to my core. If my body didn't feel so numb, I'd surely have a panic attack. I fight against myself, forcing my jelly-like arms to reach out to touch my mouth.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
The voices surrounding me sounded so sweet at first, but that's how they always sounded. I've lived through this before. I know the ending and it's always the same. Each time I tried to fight against it, I always lost. Despite the fear shaking me, I used my strength to push further.
"Anna, anna, anna." The voices taunted me, each word fluxing downwards, the candy-like tone seeped down into a rasp and warped into my worst nightmare.
No.
"What are you afraid of? Us?"
Stop it.
"Afraid of losing him?"
Stop it.
"Afraid of...."
The voice suddenly stopped, to which I knew what was happening next. It reaped fear deep inside, embedding and making a bed in my heart. Act quickly. I repeated it over and over to myself as I twinkled my fingers to my chest. There was a thin layer of moisture, it suddenly had gotten so hot that my body couldn't stop moving to get away from the heat.
I could sense it. It was coming and the clock that ticked and echoed was letting me know I was running out of time. Tick. I had to open my mouth. Tock. My jaw hurt, I couldn't open my mouth. Tick. My fingers trailed up my neck, feeling my quickening pulse. Tock. The clock was getting faster, counting down till my ultimate fate. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
Please.
Don't.
Suddenly my fight or flight kicked in, and I refused to lose this time. I slapped my hand over my mouth, wasting no time to feel around my lips. Small threads were threading through each top, each bottom, liquid that was surely red; though I could not see, covered my fingers as I smeared it around my mouth, desperately trying to find the stitch that'll loosen the thread.
"Oh, Anna..."
No...
"It's time..."
Suddenly, I felt my body drop. It was fast. The flames were eating me alive faster this time, faster than the last time, much more gratuitous with me. My body stilled, even if I wanted to move, I couldn't, and all I could find myself to do was cry. On cue, I felt the hands start to drag me down further. Clawing at my legs, grabbing my sides, all whilst they scream and cried with me because they were just as miserable as I. Their wails grew louder, desperate, almost as if they were using my body to push themselves away from the flames, but all they were doing was dragging me down with them.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to call for help.
But I couldn't.
Why? I thought to myself.
There was a beat of silence.
"Because," The voice whispered into my ear, harsh and deep, "This is where you belong."
"Lover?"
A push on my shoulder jolted me awake. My eyes were peeled shut, sand burning my eyes as I half woke in a confused daze. The white sheets were engulfed around my body as I shifted slightly under them.
I'm home.
"Angel." Harry sang softly with his lips pressed to the shell of my ear, causing my head to flinch in a ticklish manner.
"Mm?" When my eyes fluttered open, Harry was slightly hunched over while his hand ran up and down my back slowly. I tried not to show how shaken I was. How scared. How my chest was rapidly rising and falling and I couldn't catch my breath.
When my eyes adjusted and started to fully wake, his tobacco scent penetrated my nostrils and I noticed he was fully dressed to leave again. Just like he always did. Every morning. He wore a pair of brown flared dress pants with a tanktop tucked into them and a white knitted button up over it.
It was mornings like these, when I was most vulnerable, that he would stay.
But he didn't know.
I hadn't told him about the nightmares.
"I'm leaving for work," He saw as I glanced towards the clock to see that it was just a little past eight. My brows furrowed. "I'm leaving early, going to see mum."
"Want me to come with you?" I croaked through a sleepy voice as my knuckle rubbed my eye.
"No, no, that's okay. You just stay home, I should be home soon," His lips sprinkled around my cheek slowly, pushing my hair past my ear to cascade down my back, "If you need anything, text the boys, okay?"
I pouted softly. If I would just tell him about the nightmares, he would stay home. It would be easier on me, but he was enjoying working again. Doing something good with Ajax and helping people. Though I was starting to miss Harry more and more. It seemed like since he got this job, I didn't see him a lot. I was lucky if he got home before six at night, but sometimes he wouldn't come home until I was tucking myself into bed.
I didn't exactly know what Ajax was making him do at work, but I couldn't imagine that it would take this long to drop off a bag of drugs and exchange some money.
"Don't give me those pouty lips, darlin'," He breathed out, pressing his thumb over my bottom lip with a frown.
"I miss you..." My naked arms snaked out from the sheets and wrapped around his neck as I pulled him into a half hug. Harry sighed, lifting his knee as he pulled himself onto the bed and hovered himself over me.
I held him closer, causing him to bury his face into my neck and lay flush against me. Ah, now I could fall back asleep. I always slept the best when I was wrapped around Harry, but with him leaving so early in the mornings, my sleep had been interrupted.
"Hold me." I mumbled, near in tears as I shuffled closer to him.
"I am." Harry breathed through a chuckle.
"Hold me tighter."
"Anna—"
I gasped, pulling from him with furrowed brows, "How dare you call me by my government name?"
Harry's face fell into a goofy, guilty manner as he raised one hand in defense. A small smile cracked on my lips.
"Sorry, Angel, but I do have to go," He kissed my forehead, "I have to meet Ajax at ten," He kissed my nose, "I'm already late." He kissed my lips again.
"Text me?" I paused, "Actually, call me when you're free?"
"Mhmm," Harry's warmth left me as he got off the bed and soothed his clothes down, "I will. I'll talk to you later, mkay?" When I fell silent, giving him puppy eyes, his shoulders slouched as he stood by the doorway, "Do you love me?"
A blush came over me. Saying this to each other was so new, but it still made my stomach twist like it was the first time we had exchanged those three words.
"The most."
He gave me a soft smile, sending me an innocent wink before disappearing into the living room. I let out a sigh, listening at the front door opened and closed shut, letting me know I was once again alone. I rolled over to his side of the bed, burying my face into his pillow with a long inhale of his scent.
Another boring day.
"Fuuuuck," I elongated with a groan, pushing myself to sit up and stare at the dark room. The only light that shone through was a pinch through the curtain that was just barely closed.
Maybe I really was getting restless nowadays.
When I got out of bed, I did my normal routine. Put on a pot of coffee and trudged into the bathroom to brush my hair and my teeth. Sometimes, if I felt extra froggy, I would wash my face; most of the time I wait till I shower that day, but it depends on the sleep I got the night before.
Today was one of those days, so I skipped on my skin care routine until I took a shower.
When I got a cup of coffee, I went outside to the front porch and sat there. I wished that I could've been one of those girls that can sit in silence for a while and just take it all in, but if it was quiet for more than a minute, I started to get anxious. I think too much so I need something to calm my thoughts. Even if it's just background noise of a TV show or some music.
For the girls that can sit outside and truly be alone with their thoughts, even in general, but especially in the mornings; I applaud you. How does one do that?
Buzz, buzz. My head snapped towards my phone that was playing soft music. It was something I had found on Spotify, a random playlist. Music sounds really fucking good when it's not based around one guy that lives in the sky. Imagine if a group of people—millions—decided to sing about a single person. A little obsessive, don't you think?
Get a new hobby.
Text from: Gracie.
hey good morning, what are you doing today?
Outbound text:
jackshit. harry is out again today. what are you doing?
Text from: Gracie.
nothing. me and pete are going to a museum later. do you wanna come?
Outbound text:
sounds fun, let me eat first.
Finally, something to fucking do. I should kick Pete square in the nuts for taking away my only best friend in this damned town. I try not to give Gracie shit because puppy love is very real and I know that I've ditched her a million times to run off with Harry.
But shit.
The tables have turned and now I'm the only that's bored out of my fucking mind.
I grabbed my things from the small table and rushed inside. I never ate in the mornings, but given that I had drank last night, my stomach was rumbling. I always got really hungry the morning after drinking which is the equivalent to weed munchies. Except for that my stomach can barely hold the food without getting upset.
Searching through the cabinets, I soon realized that we were out of groceries which meant that if I didn't eat something soon I was going to fucking snap. Hanger was going to creep up on me sooner or later. I slammed the fridge door shut, pushing my back against it with a huff as I pulled my phone out.
Outbound text:
heeeey
Text from: Ni.
hello??
Outbound text:
you know how much you love me?
I put my phone down on the counter, stomach growling again as I started to shuffle through the cabinet. There were cans of baked beans, green beans, and carrots. I grumbled to myself, sticking my arm deep into the cabinet to search for anything else. My hand hit a box, to which I grabbed and pulled it out to see a box of crackers.
Good enough, I guess.
Buzz, buzz.
Text from: Ni.
are you and harry trying to set me up again? i'm not falling for that.
I chuckled. Niall was never going to trust me and Harry ever again after the last prank we pulled on him. To be fair, it was harmless. And Niall is just so prankable.
At first I didn't wanna do it, but every now and then, Harry likes to give Niall a hard time for sleeping with me. Hell, he even gives me a hard time. I think the jokes are a passive aggressive way to get over it—because he's still not over it.
Outbound text:
jeez that was one time, get over it. but listen tho i don't have food at the house, can you bring me something to eat pls
Text from: Ni.
i guess... where is H?
Outbound text:
with his mom
Text from: Ni.
k. be there soon.
I let out a soft sigh of happiness, setting the phone down and ripping open the package of crackers. If I had peanut butter, I'd be golden, but unfortunately we used the last bit of it a few days ago. Humming, I shoved a few crackers into my mouth and walked back into the room to get dressed.
I was only dressed in a tanktop with a pair of thongs. The heat was on, it was still chilly outside, but it gets hot at night and I couldn't sleep if it's really hot. I decided on wearing a pair of flare jeans that hugged my waist and a oversized sweater that was black and said "PARIS" on it.
Oddly, but not very, I'd never been to Paris. It was on my bucket list though.
Moments later there was a knock on the door. My face pinched into a confused look, tilting my head as I pushed back my curtain bangs and took a step towards the door. How did Niall get here so fast? It had only been twenty minutes since I texted him.
Nonetheless, I was fucking starving and desperately wanted food.
"Dude, you got here quick—" I flung the front door open with ease, blinking fast as I stared at the man in front of me, my voice slowly dying in my throat. The person standing in front of me was not Niall, no, instead it was a disturbing looking man. He was dressed in all white, a black tie tight around his neck, I could tell it had been pressed.
I tried not to stare at his features. It almost made my stomach turn from the sight. Half the side of his face was melted, his skin was scarred over and stretched, making the patches of recovered skin look more like veins. Wrinkled and fragile. The other half of his face was fine, it was almost as if the accident that happened to him was precise to make him look like that; to show off the vast contrast of what a normal face looks like versus one that's been massively burnt over.
"Oh, sorry I thought..." I blinked quickly with a vague shake of my head as I looked down. Just as my eyes went to touch the floor, I noticed his hand that was gripping a book tight.
My heart skipped.
"You okay, dear?" The man spoke, I nearly jolted as if I didn't expect the man to speak. I met his gaze, my fingers tightening around the doorknob as I swallowed thickly and gave him a nod. He noticed my other hand that was shaking beside me, causing me to ball my fist up and take a step back, "My word, you are shaking—"
"Did you need something?" I forced out through a croak, batting away the watery fixtures in my eyes.
"I was just dropping off a package..." He frowned, tilting his head as he swung his bag towards his front side and shuffled through it until he pulled out a small box and handed it over, "For a—Harry Styles?"
I blinked.
And when I did, the man in front of me was normal. He wasn't burnt. He wasn't wearing white. He was just a blonde headed man in a brown uniform to drop off his package. A cry nearly left me, realizing that my mind was playing tricks on me. I only gave him a short nod, whispering a small thank you and taking the package from him. The moment that the package was held in my hands, I quickly shut the door and pressed my back against it.
The nightmares didn't stop in my sleep, no, the extent was much worse. That was that I had been seeing things—having nightmares, but sometimes these nightmares transcend into real life, or at least it felt real. It felt real to me. While the church had been silent and the boys had been soothing my nerves, I'd been fighting my own battles. One that was much harder.
Some nights I would wake up in a sweat. Typically the nightmares came when Harry wasn't home in time before I fell asleep. I felt more safe when he was here, even if he claims that nothing would happen to me, without him here I was a mess. On those nights I'd wake up, I'd be shaking so bad with my heart feeling like it was going to combust. Most times I can stop the panic attacks before they get out of control, but sometimes it's not that easy.
But, I'd look at Harry, and I'd know.
I'd know that I'm okay.
I'm just shocked that I'd never woke him up on those nights when it was bad.
Sometimes when I'm alone I could even feel someone watching me over my shoulder. My first therapy session couldn't come fast enough. I needed to get this out to someone; someone who wouldn't tell anyone, someone who could fucking tell me what's going on with my head and why I keep having these nightmare daydreams of people from the church.
It felt...it felt so real.
I let out a quiet sob, sinking against the door as my hands let go of the package and shakily pulled my phone out from my back pocket. Within moments I was calling Harry, pressing the phone tight to my ear as my palms catched my tears.
"Alright, Angel?" Harry's thick voice came through the phone with a chirp.
I took a slow breath, letting his voice calm my anxiety, but only made his skyrocket.
"Anna?"
"I'm fine, I just..." Trying to conceal my shaky voice that has been letting out soft whimpers of cries, I didn't want him to worry. "I just needed to hear your voice. I miss you so much."
"Oh, baby. I miss you too," He paused, suddenly hearing a shuffling with what seemed like voices in the background talking, "I've good news. I'll be home early today, we only have a couple drops."
"Really?" I smiled faintly, fluttering my eyes shut in happiness, "What time?"
"Four. Then I'm all yours, Angel."
"Okay..." I trailed off, nodding my head, "Four. I'll see you later."
"Mhmmm, bye baby. Behave for me."
"Mhmm." I mocked teasingly with a chuckle before hanging up the phone.
Love wasn't the answer to everything. It couldn't cure a disease, or heal your sickness, but goddamn does it feel like the power to cure the crazy feeling in my head. I was trying not to rely on Harry as much to make me feel okay, but my mind had games they wanted to play with me and they were more than evil.
But...sometimes it's okay to rely on someone that makes you feel okay. Just until you can figure yourself out.
And only if.
The door vibrated against my back with a hard knock, following a loud; "Ello, Anna! I'm here! I've got nando's!" Niall's voice nearly echoed through the door—such a loud voice for such a short man.
I slid myself up from the door, swinging the door open to meet Niall who had a lopsided smile with his hand raised that had a bag of food in it.
"Ready to eat?" He asked.
"Fucking starving." I smirk as he walks into the house and sets the food onto the coffee table in the living room. I followed behind him after shutting my door with my foot and plopping myself down onto the couch.
"Didn't know they had a nando's in Madrid," He side eyed me with a pinched look, "They have the best chicken."
"Weren't you just in London last week eating Nando's?" My head tilted in a tease as I unboxed my food and say it in my lap.
"Don't judge my lifestyle choices." Niall pointed a fork at me with pinched brows.
As we ate, I stayed pretty quiet. Most days when I wake up from nightmares, it's hard to tell what's real and what's not anymore. I try my absolute hardest to ground myself, but it's not always how it works out.
Although, this chicken was keeping me at bay.
"How long are you staying in Madrid for?" I questioned through bites of food.
"Mmm.." Niall hummed, tilting his head back and forth in thought, "Couple weeks and then I'm gonna head back home for a bit. Ajax found some new clients down here so I think we are expanding."
"Expanding?"
"Mhmm. Ajax bought out a new building, think he's turning it into a diner. Those people we found in that village—" I flinched at the memory causing Niall's voice to lower for a moment, "Erm, well. Turns out they gave up everything to be in that village. Ajax found some of them, so he's trying to get them back on their feet."
"Oh..." I started to think about Katerina and if she was okay. I promised her that I would be back to see her and it's been months. A sudden ping of guilt hit me and I bit down on my shaky lip.
Fuck, I'm a terrible person.
"Well," Niall wiped his mouth with his napkin before taking his box of food and trailing his way to the trash can to throw it away, "I'm busy today, so I'm gonna head out."
My eyes followed him with a crane of my neck, a frown etched on my lips. I didn't want Niall to leave so suddenly. It was only ten o'clock and I had some hours before Harry would be home.
"What are you doing today?"
"I'm going to the shooting range today," Niall nodded, "There's fuck all to do in this town and I'm getting antsy. I found a shooting range outside of Madrid so I'm gonna do that since Pete is up Gracie's ass."
"Oh?" I used my knee to push myself off the couch, taking a step towards him, "Can I come with?"
Niall laughed as if I told him a joke, but when he did a second take to see I was serious, his face fell.
"Are you kidding? Harry would fucking kill me," Niall scoffed, "I'm not taking you to a shooting range. Why do you wanna go anyways?"
"I'm bored!" I whined with a huff, tilting my head back and cupping my face with my hands in exasperation, "Harry's been so busy with Ajax and Gracie is busy with Pete and I'm bored—bored!"
Niall sighed softly, slipping his fingers through the blinds and peaking outside the window. It was a sunny day. Quite cold, but in the sun it felt good. Niall turned towards me.
"Fine..." Niall sighed while scratching his hair with his fingernails, "But I'm taking you home before Harry gets home because I'm not taking the shit for this."
"Yay! Let me grab my bag!" I cheered out and quickly disappeared to my room.
When I came back out after grabbing my things, I locked the door and we left. Niall was driving a rental car that he'd been continuously paying on every time he was in Madrid, I had tried to tell him to just buy one and keep it at our house, but he refused.
It's because we didn't have a fancy garage to keep it in like he did back in London.
He didn't want it to get rained on, he said.
"Don't touch anything!" Niall slapped at my hands adjusting the heat and air, then almost went for the radio, "I have this car exactly the way I like it. Touch it and I'll throw you out on the highway."
"You wouldn't do tha—" I chuckled, craning my neck to look at Niall, to which he gave me a challenging look, "Oh, wow, okay."
"First and final warning." He wagged his finger at me.
For the most part we had stayed silent in the car ride. I was enjoying the sun that was beaming through the window and warming my face. At some point, I rolled the window down and let the wind carry my arm through the air as we drove down the interstate.
Niall was singing along to some Eagles song that was playing on the radio, I found myself tapping my foot lightly to the catchy tune and zoned into the lyrics that made my heart skip a beat.
Take it easy, take it easy
Don't let the sounds of your own wheel drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
Don't even try to understand
Just find a place to make your stand and take it easy
Oddly enough, I resonated with the song. From the hard years of my life, I always wanted to find some sort of peace in something. Peace in anything. Maybe it was because I was new to listening to a broad spectrum of music, but I felt like The Eagles were trying to tell me something.
Take it easy, I fucking guess.
As if that's easy in itself.
Before I could ponder the rest of my thoughts with the song, Niall had stopped the car and turned himself towards me with a sudden serious look on his face.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"When we get in here, don't touch anything. Don't talk to anyone," Niall said as he leaned in the backseat and grabbed his duffel bag, pulling it up into his lap, "I don't know what kind of people are here, so just—"
"Have you never been here before?" My heart jumped.
"Erm..." Niall sighed, coddling his face with a shake of his head, "This place isn't exactly...legal..."
"What?!" I gasped, "Are you stupid? Why are we here?!"
"Jesus christ, chill. I met this guy when I went out for a drink the other night and he told me about this place. He owns it or whatever. Some places don't allow automatics and I guess he made a farm where people can shoot all they want," Niall went to get out of the car, but quickly stopped and whipped towards me, "Do not tell Harry. I'm serious, Anna. He would fucking kill me if he knew I took you here."
I rolled my eyes, mumbling some snarky comments under my breath as I slipped out of the car. Niall was quick to be by my side and courted me to the small building in front of us. I really hadn't noticed how far out we were or really where we were. I was too entranced in my own thoughts to notice that we had pulled into a secluded field full of nothing.
I could hear the small pops in the distance, making me flinch from the sounds. Suddenly I found myself not even wanting to be here. I could be out with Gracie and Pete right now at a art museum, but no I had to choose to run off with Nia—fuck, Gracie.
In one movement, I pulled out my phone in my back pocket and checked my phone. No signal. Perfect. Not only did I ditch my best friend, but now I'm out in the middle of nowhere where someone could easily come up behind me and put one in me if they wanted.
"How long are we staying here for?" I followed Niall into the small building.
"Not long." Niall hummed.
The building didn't have much of anything in it. If I knew anything from watching American movies, a building like this should have been covered with guns on the walls, but this was more of a entry way to where the shooting range was out back. Though, when I looked to my right I noticed there was a glass case that was covered with a sheet covering it.
My eyes pinched, slowly wandering over to it. There was a thick smell of dust and dirt the closer I came to it. My eyes watered, feeling the sudden urge to sneeze, I placed my knuckle against my nose and picked up the sheet to see what was under it.
There were small green balls that looked plastic, boxes of them, all lined up in this case. Small silver hooks that were adorned to the top, then realization hit that this was more than just an illegal shooting range.
"Niall!" I hissed out, gesturing towards the boxes as my eyes widened, "Get me out of here, what the hell!"
"Don't touch anything!" Niall scolded, grabbing my wrist and pulling me from the glass case, "Just stay to yourself, alright?"
I rolled my eyes so fucking hard I thought they were going to be stuck in the back of my head.
A man with dark gray hair and a salt and peppered beard walked into the main room where we stood, giving us a once over slowly.
"Be cool," He whispered to me softly, "He doesn't like strangers."
"Great, thanks for dragging me here for my early funeral." I muttered back to him, to which he shot me a cold look.
"Hey, mate." Niall nodded short, tossing the duffel bag over his back.
"Who's she?" He disregarded Niall's greeting, laying his eyes on me.
"She's cool," Niall saw how nervous I stood from behind him and he rolled his eyes almost too quickly to see, "She shoots too."
"Mmkay," He narrowed his eyes, waving his hand over towards the door behind him, "Come on. Let me show you where everything is at."
Niall drew me close to him with his hand wrapped around my wrist. I didn't mind it, I was nervous enough and the guy looked like he could eat bullets for breakfast. He actually looks like he's been eating them since fucking birth.
The man led us through a door that took us down a very small hallway to a back door that led outside. It was a gated back field, ahead of me was cardboard shaped like animals, cars, and other random objects. My eyes scanned around the field slowly, only seeing a few people that were out here and taking out their office frustrations out on the targets.
"What kind of gun do you shoot?" The man eased beside me, watching as Niall dropped the bag by his feet and bent down to shuffle through his weapons.
"Oh, me? Well, I just—" The words caught in my throat, my face pinching as I tried to think of what to say. I didn't know there were names for guns. "A...small one?" There was a hint of a question in my words.
He twisted his face in suspicion, letting out a hum. He turned on his heel, "If you don't mind, I'd like to watch you shoot. Rarely do we get some women here. Most of them are all men, but sometimes we get a few beauties."
Niall muttered a small fuck past his lips with a shake of his head. We both knew that Niall's small white lie didn't work. I didn't even know why this guy was being sketchy as fuck anyways. It wasn't like we were the authorities or anything. Did I look like a goddamn pig?
No.
I don't.
"Alright..." I elongated as I kneeled down to Niall who was squinting his eyes at me, "Give me a gun."
"Which one do you want?"
"Well, I don't fucking want any of them, but yet here we are," I snapped softly, sticking my hand into the bag and pulling out a small handgun, "This will be fine."
One thing about me, guns scared me. When the boys had them, I didn't mind as much. They were smart with them. Me, on the other hand, I had never shot a gun before nonetheless ever thought about using one. I sighed softly, trying to bite back the anxious feeling in my throat.
"Alright, so what you're gonna do is—"
"I got it, Niall," I hissed softly, staring down at the cold metal weapon before shifting off the safety and gulping thickly.
"Christ, you're already making me nervous, just let me help you before I die from a heart attack," Niall hissed back into my ear as he found himself behind me. I rolled my eyes, letting his hands caress under my forearms and to my hands where he showed me how to hold the gun. "Right, so hold it tight."
"Okay."
"Don't put your finger on the trigger until you're ready to shoot."
"Gotcha."
"Are you ready to shoot?"
"Well, not fucking really, but can we just do this already?" I rolled my eyes at him despite the fact he couldn't see them.
"Alright, finger on the trigger, Angel," He taunted me in my ear while folding his hands over mine. I made sure to have a tight grip around the handle, placing my finger right where it needed to be, "Kay, one..." I took a deep breath, "Point at the target," I steadied my aim, feeling my throat closing, "Two..." Fucking hell.
Before Niall could even count to three, my finger pressed hard on the trigger and the metal weapon vibrated and recoiled back in my hands, a loud pop echoing through the space around us and almost making me drop the gun. If it wasn't for Niall holding the gun in my hands, it would've hit my feet and possibly made someone it's victim. I pressed my back against Niall's chest, closing my eyes tight as my ears rang.
"Oh my fucking god." Niall breathed, loosening his grip on my hands.
Oh, that doesn't sound good.
I shouldn't have closed my eyes right before the shot. Did I hurt something? Someone? I was too scared to open my eyes.
"Anna, you hit the bullseye!" Niall erupted in a loud cheer, making my eyes whip open with my jaw dropped half way. For a moment I had whiplash, trying to find where I had hit it, and then I saw it.
Right on the motherfucking bullseye.
"Shut up!" I gasp, slapping a hand over my mouth.
"That's so impressive, Anna! Shit!" Niall laughed out as he quickly picked me up and celebrated with a quick, but very tight hug. I laughed out with him, squeezing him tight before my feet were placed back on the ground.
I looked past Niall with a wild grin, seeing the man give me a tilt of his head in acceptance before he turned and disappeared back into the building. I laughed to myself, suddenly feeling a rush of adrenaline spike in me.
"That was so cool!" I gawked at the hole in the middle target, hand still clasped around the metal handle, "I have to tell Harry!"
Why would I not tell Harry? He would be so proud.
A sexy, ex-catholic girlfriend that can shoot perfectly.
"If you tell him you're here, I'm gonna be buried in those woods over there before the day is over," Niall sighed softly, fiddling with his own gun as he stood at the railing, "Don't get cocky, but that was a good shot."
"Bet you can't even do that," I ignored his pleas of living from the mercy of Harry, swinging my arms back and forth before spinning on my heel and pointing the gun at the target again and whipping the gun back as if I had shot it, "Pew pew, bitch!"
Niall rolled his eyes with a scoff, "Please don't shoot anymore. I want to have my fun, but not at the risk of losing a goddamn finger in case you fuck up."
"I'm basically a pro now," I coo softly, holding the gun with one hand as I pretend to shoot the target, a smirk spread on my lips, "Put me on the team, Niall. I can take anyone I want."
"No estás agarrando la pistola bien." A thick, yet soft voice came from beside me. I turned to look at the person speaking, finding a woman who was a few feet down with sage headphones placed on her head. Her hair was curly and thick, beautifully black with red dyed in the front.
I blushed.
She was fucking beautiful.
"Qué?" I half laugh.
It had been so long since I had talked to strangers in my own town, that my neck nearly whipped when I heard my native language. With the group of people in my life, I mainly spoke english. A few weeks ago I had tried to teach Harry some Spanish, to which it ended in him spreading my legs wide and having a taste of me.
So, that lesson didn't go as planned, but it ended well.
"Dije que no estás agarrando la pistola como se supone." She half laughed as she sat her own weapon down and made her way towards me. When she came closer, I noticed in her wide smile that she had a smiley piercing along with a few pieces of jewelry in her nose that sparkled against the contrast of her skin.
Without another word, she grabbed my hand and showed me how to properly hold it with two hands instead of one. I blushed softly.
"Ah..." I cleared my throat softly, "Gracias."
"No hay problema, eres nuevo por aquí?" She leaned against the railing with her arms tucked into her large brown hoodie that draped over her small features.
"Si, es mi primera vez. un poco nerviosa. me imagino que te pasas por aquí mucho..." I scratched my arm softly with a flinch. It was obvious that she came here more often, she even had noise canceling headphones that shielded her ears from the ringing of the loud pops in the air.
Meanwhile, Niall was just fucking raw-dogging it like a bimbo.
"Yo me la paso por aquí bastante. me gusta desquitar mi coraje en estos jodios cartones." There was a smirk curved on her lips as she kicked the grass underneath her with a gesture towards the targets behind her.
She paused, looking from behind me as she gave Niall a slow, grimacing once over before nodding her head towards me and fixing her gaze back on me.
"Aquel tiene algún problema con los ojos que no deja de mirar?" She scoffed softly with a chuckle, nodding towards Niall.
I looked back at Niall who was burning a stare at her, most likely checking her out, but I wasn't going to tell her that. If anything she could've figured that out for herself.
"Ah, no... es que es medio... raro." I brushed off with a nervous laugh, shooting him a glare.
"Vaaale..." She hummed, looking as if she was getting bored of the conversation, and more so bored with the conversation, but I found myself scared of losing her attention. This was the first time in a while that I had met someone new, I desperately wanted to keep it going.
"Eres de Madrid?" I chirped with a smile.
"Nacida y criada," She tilted her head, looking past me again before taking a step closer to me. I blinked hard, stepping back, only to realize she was sizing up Niall, "You got a problem, man?"
Niall's eyes widened, setting his gun down as he pointed his finger at his chest, "Who? Me?"
"Yeah, you. Why you staring at me?" Her voice was laced with venom, but I found it quite funny. I chuckled into my hand, spinning to look at him and his frantic movements.
"Oh, erm, I just—" Niall sputtered, running a hand through his hair nervously, laughing to match his feelings, "Well, you're just—I like your...style." He finally came to his own conclusion, but his voice was dying in his throat.
Her features softened, straightening her posture before giving him a soft nod. She turned back on her heel, flicking her braids back with them as she shrugged one of her shoulders.
"I've never seen him get nervous like that before," I whispered under a breath to her, smirking, "What's your name?"
"Men love and hate me, I get it," She hummed, giving me a once over, "My name is Rina. What's yours?"
"Anna." I smiled.
"Peachy and cute," Rina snickered innocently, "It's nice to meet you, but you really need friends that don't stare."
"Yeah, he's a lost cause, I don't know what to tell ya." I shrug hopelessly with a pinched, goofy expression.
"Hey! I heard that!" Niall whined out from a few feet away, crossing his arms over his chest with a huff.
Rina rolled her eyes, turning towards her weapon that was laid on a small platform on the railing and steadily made her way over to Niall whose color was draining from his face with each step she took towards him.
"I'd like to play target practice on you, but I guess the cardboard will do," Rina hovered over him with a small quirked smile, then spun towards her target. Niall's jaw dropped, for a moment, taking a step back as she aimed and fired directly at the head and didn't miss her shot. "Next time, it'll be your eye." She said in a sarcastically sweet tone.
Rina didn't waste a moment before she was putting her gun on safety and throwing it into her small bag before flinging it over her shoulder and making her exit, leaving Niall near dumbfounded. With a hand clamped over my mouth, trying my hardest not to crack a laugh, I walked over to him in awe.
"Don't you dare say a word," Niall breathed, blinking hard, "Fuckin' hell."
"I would say that you deserved it, but..." I trailed off, pinching my eyes in thought, "No, yeah, you deserved it."
"I wasn't staring to be rude!" He scoffed, "To be honest, she's quite fit. Just caught me off guard, you don't see birds like that anymore."
"Birds? What are we? In the fucking sixities?" I scoffed back at him, "Are you done playing with your toys? It's almost two and I need to be home soon before Harry gets back."
"Right, I was done anyways..." He trailed off, comparing the targets that Rina and I had shot, then looked at his fresh target that only just barely grazed the cardboard.
Stifling back another laugh, Niall cut me a look as he grabbed his back and headed towards the exit way. The strange man before was standing at a makeshift counter with a figure that could only be described as Rina, the girl that had sized up Niall from before. It looked like they were both talking in secrecy, low enough that it could only be heard between the two, even if they were alone in the room together. Something told me we weren't supposed to be there from the sudden silence.
As we made our silent way to the front door, Rina looked at me out of the corner of her eye, but it was a look that wasn't as warm as when she had greeted me before. Shivers fell down my spine, I suddenly had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I took Niall's wrist, pulling him out of the building and away from the sudden tension that built. The look felt all too familiar, I wasn't sure why, I had never met Rina before until now, so why did it give me deja vu?
"What's wrong?" Niall half laughed, pulling his wrist from my hand.
"I don't...I don't know." I breathed, a hand on my chest as I slowed my pace towards the car.
"If you're having another anxiety attack, please tell me what to do," Niall studied me, hovering his hands over my shoulders, "No, seriously. Tell me what to do, I've never dealt with this shit before."
"I'm not!" I fought softly, taking a deep breath, "Just–take me back home, I don't want to be here anymore." I mumbled softly.
Just as we were making our way towards the car, we heard someone yell out from behind us. Niall was the first to turn around, but my body stilled and I cursed under my breath. When I turned, Rina was running after us with a wide smile on her face.
"Hola! Hey!" She breathed, stopping a few feet in front of us, hands placed on her hips, "Listen, uh...I didn't catch your name?"
"Me?" Niall looked between the two of us, as if he had forgotten he never breathed his name to her, "Niall–my name is Niall."
"Right," She breathed out, catching her breath with a nod, "Well, uh, Ricky told me that you two come to the bar on 5th street sometimes. I, uh, have a club. You two should come, it's right under the bar of Talouse."
Nope, don't have a good feeling about that.
"Oh, no than–"
"Yeah, sure, that sounds fun." Niall nodded with a smirk.
Of-fucking-course.
"Great! I'll give you my number!" Rina chirped.
I watched as the swapped numbers into each other's phones, my head was spinning and I just had a gut feeling that something was off. It was either Ricky or Rina that made my stomach turn, but I guess I wouldn't be sure until I was alone with one of them. I scratched the back of my head, walking backwards to the car as they departed and once she disappeared, I slid into the car and gave Niall a dirty look.
"What?" Niall flinched at my look, starting the car up.
"Do you always think with your dick or is your brain down there too?" I huff, crossing my arms over my chest as he started to pull back out of the gravel way.
"What?! She invited me to hang out with her, there's nothing wrong with making new friends." Niall rolled his eyes.
"She also threatened to shoot you."
"And that was sexy as fuck." He nearly dribbled on himself with a smirk.
I don't know why I suddenly had a weird feeling. When we were talking in the field, she seemed fine. She was funny, I liked the way she teased Niall about staring, but I couldn't help but shake a weird feeling in my stomach when I found her and Ricky talking to each other. It almost felt like we weren't supposed to be there.
"It's whatever," I whispered under my breath, marking my anxious feeling up to pure paranoia, "I just wanna go home. I'm tired."
"I'm sure she's fine. You can come with us if you want, I was gonna invite Harry tonight." He added.
I pulled my phone out while Niall was blabbering about the night he met Ricky or whatever his name was. To be fair, I didn't give a fuck about whoever that was. I had a few bars and suddenly my phone dinged a few times.
Inbound text: Gracie.
hello??? are you still hanging out with us??
Gracie:
dude! answer your phone!
Gracie:
okay whatever, you probably fell asleep. let's hang soon love you
I sighed heavily, cupping my face. Fucking fuck I'm a terrible friend.
"—So, yeah. Turned out he also owned some guns, so we got to talking about that and that's how I got invited to this place." Niall chirped.
I only nodded, fluttering my eyes shut. I was exhausted. It seemed like I had been that way for the last few weeks. If it wasn't Harry waking me up to kiss me goodbye for the day, then it was me waking up from the nightmares.
It was always the same nightmare.
Every time.
When I found myself trying to move, trying to force my mouth open, I only ever died in the end. It was like my mind was sending me a message, like it knew something that I wasn't allowed to know. There was something suspicious with the silence surrounding us and the church. I thought many times that it was a warning, but I always told myself I was paranoid.
Maybe I just am.
By the time Niall pulled into the driveway of my house, my eyes were just peeling open and I laid my eyes on Harry's car that was pulled into next to mine. I fluttered my eyes in a panic, pulling my phone out of my pocket and checking the time.
Two thirty.
He was early.
"Don't worry, he called me and I told him you were with me." Niall noticed my panic, and I only nodded my head and sighed.
"Thanks, are you coming in?" I grabbed my bag, throwing it over my shoulder softly as I got out of the car.
"Yeah." Niall nodded.
When we rounded the car, Harry pulled the door open and stood against the doorframe with his arm placed high on the frame and a soft smile on his lips. He was wearing a gray hoodie that said DAMN. and black sweats to match.
God, it was nice to see him.
I skipped up the stairs, not able to suppress my sudden giddiness as I flung myself into his arms and placed a hard kiss to his lips. He wrapped his arms tight around me, humming against my lips while his fingers rubbed my back over my sweater.
"Missed you, Angel." He whispered between the both of us.
"You have no idea how much I missed you today." When I looked into his bright eyes, it almost made me feel guilty for not telling him about the nightmares I'd been having. He had no idea I was fighting a silent battle with myself. I sighed, running my hand over his curls, "Do you love me, baby?"
"That's a silly question, you know that I do," Harry's nose scrunched just as his eyes ripped from mine and looked at Niall who was standing besides them, "Did you two have fun today?"
"Loads," Niall nodded, "Just went out and had some lunch and whatnot."
"Lunch, hmm?" Harry squeezed my body, causing me to giggle, "Where did you guys go?"
"We went to, uh, a new restaurant that just opened." I interjected, trying to steer away from the actual question.
"Oh yeah? Is that why there's a box of Nando's in the kitchen bin?" Harry's eyes softly narrowed, calmly, but his grip was telling. "What did you two really do today?"
"Shit," Niall breathed, shrugging one shoulder before he started to pace back and forth nervously, "Listen, you can't hate me, alright? This was a solo plan—"
"I shot a gun today!" I chirped softly, "You should have seen me, baby, I got the bullseye on my first try! I even took a photo of it! Do you wanna see?"
"You took my girlfriend to a shooting range? I didnt even think they had those in Madrid," Harry ruffled with a roll of his eyes, slowly panning his eyes to my phone that pulled up the photo of my accomplishment. "Oh shit. You're a killer, shot it right in the chest."
Harry looked up from my phone, placing his gaze on Anna, "I would usually kick your ass for shit like this, but I've some good news to share," He looked between the both of us with a toothy grin.
"So, you're not going to kick my ass?" Niall scrunched his face in suspicion, "Why don't I believe you?"
"Keep poking and I will," Harry hummed, "Don't question miracles."
Niall raised his hands in defense.
Harry turned on his heel, ushering us into the house and closing the door from behind him. I couldn't help but to smile with him, his dimples were bedded deep and full of flowers as his eyes mimicked the sun.
My sweet boy.
"Are you gonna tell us the news?" I chirped excitedly, plopping myself on the couch with my hands placed in my lap.
"We signed on a new client today, me and Ajax," Harry chirped back softly, Niall's jaw clenched, waiting for him to speak; he gave a long pause, biting back a smirk.
"Ajax is expanding business down to Madrid."
"No fucking way?" Niall nearly jumped from the couch as his eyes widened, "That's fucking brilliant, Harry! But, who's gonna run things down here? Ajax can't do both London and Madrid. We have too much going on in London as is."
Harry splayed proudly, a big grin on his face as his hand balled into a fist with one thumb out and pointed at his chest. My big grin and spurt of excitement for him slowly dimmed into worry and lips twitching downwards into a frown.
Fuck.
Niall and Harry were both exploding with excitement over the announcement, but I was gazing out towards the window with thoughts running through my head. Harry's already been so fucking busy with Ajax, I was worried that this meant I would just see him less and less. As far as I knew, Ajax didn't have a partner, and I feared it was because he was operating something that needed his full attention.
It's not like I was asking for Harry's full attention, but what if this meant there was no time for us anymore?
"We need to celebrate!" Harry rang out loudly, cutting me from my thoughts and whipping my head towards him. My eyes fluttered softly, trying to force a quivering smile with a half nod.
"Yeah, let's. This is really big for you." I breathed.
"And I know just the place to go." Niall coo'd, sending me a wink.
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A/N
hope you liked this chapter! i'm really excited to introduce Rina into Sinners Place 🤍🤍
also, i was a little nervous trying to put spanish into the book because google translations can't be trusted, but i had an idea and with some help my friend made that idea come to life so i'm very happy to bring Anna's native language into the book now!
on that note, i want to say this book is FICTIONAL ! i do read comments, i do see that some people are trying fact check, but you cannot fact check something that is FICTIONAL. this book is written for fun so please try to leave those comments at the door and come in with an open and imaginative mind!
anyways! as always, come chat with me on twitter and below is a photo of Rina!
twitter: shroomiebloomm
Rina