The present: At the Mehras'
The weight of her suspicions made Maahi feel faint. She needed to lean against the door in her currently empty house.
She had gone on another date with the nice guy. He was so nice! The date had gone so well again. The music was perfect, the food was amazing, the conversation was wonderful and he was a perfect gentleman. They had walked back home following the same pattern of conversation that was both light and interesting enough to elicit a second date. They had reached her gate and he had looked at her with a perfectly nice smile. But it didn't reach his eyes. She had shaken her head quickly and asked if she could give him a hug. He had looked so happy at that request. He had instantly taken her in his arms and she had smiled back with her head perched on his shoulder.
It was a good, solid hug that enveloped her heart. But for some reason, she knew her heart hadn't reciprocated. Instead, it felt like it was sinking. It felt like it wanted to sit in a corner, away from the world. It was heavy with doubt. The doubt that despite all her trying, she may have done the one thing she had promised herself she would never do again.
The doorbell rang. Maahi blinked and looked up, still feeling dazed. She slowly made her way to the door, wondering if either Dadaji or Abhi had forgotten their keys.
When she opened the door, she saw Aarush standing there, looking sideways at the window in the passageway. Looking like he had not a single care in the world. But then he turned around and looked at her.
Suddenly, he looked like he did have a care. A very specific one.
He asked, "I...May I come in?"
She shrugged and pulled the door wider to let him in. He strode in and shut the door behind him. He walked inside the house and turned around to see that she was still standing at the door, looking lost.
He asked, "Um you look...weird. What happened?"
She looked up and saw him. She took a few steps into the hall to come closer to where he was.
He was the same boy she had fallen in love with in college. It wasn't shocking at all that it may have happened again. But she needed to make sure somehow. How could she make sure?
"Mehra!" He called.
He was clearly saying something and she still wasn't paying attention to him. She needed to figure this out. This was more important at the moment.
Aarush then walked over to where she was standing and waved in front of her face.
"Hi there?" He said, this time a little louder.
She knew what she had to do. She quickly looked up and said, "Yeah, I need a favour."
Aarush looked at her with a look of relief in his eyes. He said, "Finally! I was getting worried for a second there. What do you need?"
She said, "Just...stand still. Okay?"
Aarush, for the second time that day was confused. Why were the Mehra siblings just assuming that he would have complete context to everything they said?
He frowned and said, "I don't know what you're on about but okay. But after that, can you please give me your attention? I need to talk to you."
She nodded and took a deep breath. It was now or never. She then slowly came even closer to him. He looked into her eyes, questions popping up in his, but he did as told.
He did not move.
After a decade of waiting, she walked into his embrace and put her heart near his as she wrapped her arms around him. It felt as natural as walking into a garden. As though her heart was finally at peace. As though, after years of searching, it saw vivid colours and smelled the fragrance of the flowers. It felt the peace of walking barefoot on grass and the warmth of the winter sun on its fingers. In fact, the sunshine here seemed to beam on old cracks in a soothing manner.
It was no longer a doubt. It was a realization.
She let out a breath, blinked open her eyes, ready to let go. She had done it once before after all. She shifted her arms and tried to take a step back when his hands stopped her. He pulled her back and held her even closer.
She felt her defenses cracking now. She needed to back out before it was too late. But it felt so good to be here. What was the universe even playing at? Why? Why again? Why so close after so long? How had she let this happen again? She felt so stupid. And with that question, she felt her cracked heart break cleanly in two as she finally pushed him away.
Aarush came into view again, his eyes filled with even more questions and confusion this time. But all he could manage was "Whaaa?"
She would have laughed if she didn't feel so much pain. Not knowing what to do with herself, she crossed her arms and said, "Sorry."
He tried to come closer when she backed away. He asked again, "What? I...What?"
"Nothing. It's late. Can we talk tomorrow? I'll call you."
He frowned, his frustration very evident now.
"You keep saying that but no. You remember we made a deal. I stand still and we talk after? Well, I held up my end of the bargain. Now, we talk."
Maahi took another step back and asked, "What do you want, Iyer? Can't you see I need some time?"
Aarush tried to take a step closer when she backed away again. He noticed it and took a step back, his expression now a little pained.
"What do you need time for, Mehra?" He asked. Only the way he asked it, it felt like he had infused his whole heart into it.
She crossed her arms across her chest and said tonelessly, "None of your business."
He looked like she had taken his question and stomped all over it. But he didn't seem to want to go down without a fight.
He shot back, "It is my business when you need to hug me like that to figure something out for yourself!"
She had yet to see Aarush angry. But this statement seemed to have done it. She could sense that she had touched a nerve.
But she was angry too. And it was an old anger, stemming from years of holding back. One that was entirely directed at herself but because he was so intrinsically part of her angry heart, her emotions were finally up to the brim and threatening to spill over right in front of him.
She knew it sounded rude but she had to say it. She needed to get him out before he completely broke down all her walls.
"No, it's not. This is my problem and mine alone. You don't need to be around for it."
He threw up his hands in apparent anguish and said, "Oh God, Maahi! When are you going to understand that I want to be around your problems? I want to be around you! Haven't I made that amply clear? Why the heck are you constantly pushing me away then?"
That's it.
"Because you always do this, Aarush! You somehow charm your way into my life and I'm left to deal with the consequences. It's not your fault, I know but I just can't do it anymore. I need you to go away and stay away. Permanently! Do you understand me?"
Aarush looked like he had just been slapped. Her heart ached to see him like that. And it felt worse that she was the one who had caused that look to appear on his face.
He was almost about to withdraw, she could see it. But then he closed his eyes and asked the one question that unraveled it all.
"Why?"
It was that one word that finally broke the dam.
"Because Aarush, I was in love with you in college! I carried the world's biggest torch for you but I carried it in secret. You know why? Because you couldn't know! Because you loved someone else!"
His expression changed. The shock and pain melted and gave way to something else. He opened his mouth to say something when she raised her hand and said, "No. You let me finish. I couldn't even get closure. So, I just lugged this big bundle of ridiculous feelings around for years and I had to quietly put the light out. Do you know how long it took me to do that? And you just come waltzing in ten years later trying to be my friend again, being your exceptionally amazing, annoyingly sweet self. So just please! I...I just can't! Okay?"
Aarush looked so troubled, she almost apologized for her outburst. He looked like he wanted to come closer. But he didn't. He respected her wishes from earlier. But he looked like he was struggling with it. With everything he could gather from within, he said, "I'm sorry."
For some reason, that broke her heart even further. She laughed humourlessly and said, "Don't be. It's not your fault. I can't choose who I love. The same way you can't choose who you don't love. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself for letting it happen again. But don't worry. I'll get over you again. So, you can jus..."
Before she could complete her sentence, Aarush stopped her. Almost as though uttering a prayer, he closed his eyes and said, "Please don't."
She paused.
"Don't what?"
He opened his eyes and looked at her, hope visible in his eyes and said, "Please don't get over me again. I'm sorry I played a huge part in breaking your heart then. I...I didn't know."
He asked wordlessly if he could come closer by pointing at himself and her. She nodded once, unable to understand what was happening.
He took one cautious step closer and again with all heart, said, "I'm just sorry. If I could take away all that hurt, I swear I would. But I can promise you that I won't make you feel that way again."
He then closed the distance between them entirely. He took her hand and knitted his fingers with hers. He looked at her, his eyes searching hers for something.
He said firmly, "Please don't get over me. If you do, then I'll have to get over you and I really don't want to."
Maahi would have certainly said that this was a dream if he wasn't holding her hand.
"Huh?" She let out.
He sighed and rubbed his forehead, as though he couldn't believe how she could be so clueless.
He looked up and said, "We're both hopeless, you know that, right? I'll need to spell it out as clearly as you did."
"What?"
In the simplest of words, he said, "I love you, Mehra. I have for a while now."
She looked down at their hands and looked up again, still in disbelief. When...how...Was the universe trying to prank her? She looked around for the radio to start playing 'Golmaal hai bhai sab golmaal hai' but all musical appliances were shockingly quiet at this crucial juncture of the story.
Unsettled by her silence, he asked impatiently, "Well, say something!"
She blurted out the first thing that she could think of.
"How???"
He smiled a small smile and asked, "Have you ever figured out an answer to how love happens?"
She clicked her tongue impatiently and said, "No but...why didn't you tell me before?"
He laughed and tugged at her hand that he was holding to say, "You're one to talk. Why didn't you say anything? I, for one, have been stupidly obvious around you. Everyone says so."
She raised an eyebrow and said, "Please. You've always been...friendly."
He rolled his eyes and said, "If you think I'm like that around everyone, you're sorely mistaken."
She then tugged at his hand and asked, "So...what was the point of telling me now?"
He tugged it back towards his side and said drily, "Well, the general idea would be to date you, Mehra."
She didn't know how to process this. She looked around again at the radio but it still remained quiet. Aarush turned around and asked, "What are you looking at again and again?"
She said dazedly, "I...I'll tell you later. It's a very long story."
"I'll hold you to that. Now...We have more important matters to discuss."
She asked hesitantly, "What now?"
He tugged at her hand properly this time and pulled her into his arms. She held onto his arms and her heart suddenly felt like an out of tune radio, buzzing all over the place.
He said, "This has been on my mind for ages now. May I please kiss you?"
Ages. The boy had no damn idea what ages could even mean, did he?
She crossed her arms across her chest in indignation and replied, "Please! Do you have any idea how long that's been on my mind? No contest!"
He broke into her favourite smile. The one that reached all the way up to his eyes.
"Well, maybe I can win on the basis of how much I've wanted to do it. You know...intensity wise."
She rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Pffft. As if. You..."
But he didn't let her complete her sentence. Instead, he leaned in and kissed her lightly. It only lasted half a moment. He pulled back and looked at her with a hint of a smile. One that surprisingly seemed to capture his elation.
She smiled so brightly. Did this really happen? If it did, she may as well do it her way.
She shook her head and said, "Like I said, no contest."
He blinked and started to ask a question before Maahi silenced him with a kiss of her own.
She closed her eyes and said what she had to say without words. It was a moment ten years in the making. And yet she couldn't describe how she felt. So, they had a silent conversation of their own.
She asked, 'Is this really happening?'
He held her face lightly and went, 'Yes, I'm here now!'
She raised her hands and placed them on his heart as if to ask, 'Are you really?'
He responded by bringing her closer and challenged, 'Try me...'
She wound her arms around his shoulders and smiled, 'Finally...'
A few hours later
It was wee hours of the morning. Aarush and Maahi were idly walking on the fairly empty streets of Mumbai. They hadn't been able to say bye just yet. Not after so long. So, they decided to take a walk and catch the sunrise.
Aarush then remembered something and turned around rapidly to look at Maahi. Maahi looked at him quizzically.
He said, "Mehra!"
"Iyer!" She echoed his enthusiasm.
He laughed and picked up her hand. She returned the gesture sweetly by holding on to his. He smiled and said, "Where did you get this watch?"
Maahi blinked and looked at her wrist. It was the blue watch. Had he suddenly realized its origin story?
Hmmm. That was odd.
She asked, "Do you remember?"
"What should I remember? Your brother asked me to ask you about it."
"What?"
He then recounted the entire backstory of running into an irritated Abhi the night before. Maahi shook her head in amusement and exhaled, "Oh Abhi..."
Aarush tugged her hand and insisted, "Tell!"
She shrugged and pulled her hand away from his to tug at the watch. She undid it from her hand and took his. As he looked on curiously, she redid it on his wrist and then turned it around for him to see.
He smiled and touched it. He looked up at her and tilted his head slightly, asking a silent question.
She simply looked up at him and put out a hand to touch his face. He raised his hand and held hers, the watch shining, finally belonging.
She then quietly said, "It's about damn time."