𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕘𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕔: Win
𝕎𝕠𝕠𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕘
San's arm is still around my waist when I wake up, and his nose is right between my neck and my clavicle. I can feel his breath on me, steady and relaxed. He's sleeping well, it seems. He didn't lie when he said he needs to cuddle to rest, but it's fine, I didn't mind. You might say I actually enjoyed it. Now, I would really need to go to the bathroom, but I don't want to wake him up. I have to move very slowly.
"Don't... go."
"Are you still sleeping?"
"Everyone always does."
"Go back to sleep, San."
When I come back to the room, he's awake. He's rubbing his eyes and his hair is all over the place. He looks funny.
"You up, now?"
"What do you mean, 'now'?"
"You were talking in your sleep."
"What did I say?"
"Nothing, really. Just slurs. C'mon, let's eat some breakfast."
I prepare us egg rolls and kimchi pancakes, because I love cooking for other people. San doesn't hesitate to dig into the plate, which adds into my satisfaction. At one point, we're still eating and I get one of my nasty ideas.
"Let's play truth or dare. You start."
"Okay? Dare."
"I dare you to eat a whole egg roll at once."
"Easy. Your turn next."
He laughs and does as told, looking like an eating hamster in the process.
"I choose truth."
"What were your first impressions about me?"
"Hmm. I thought you were boasting and arrogant. I also found you very intimidating. I kinda hated you. Sorry. You up."
"Truth."
"Do you have feelings for me?"
San suddenly looks down at the floor, breaking eye contact and looking quite uncomfortable. Did you really think this was going to be easy? Of course I am aiming at stuff like this. We're not kids anymore.
"San?"
"Yeah, sorry. I don't know. The answer is, it's too early to say. I've known you for around a week, and although we've done things I usually reserve for later times, we're still not anywhere. You were also very clear about it, too."
"I'm not asking you what I said, I'm asking you what you feel."
He chuckles nervously and looks away, again. Seems like I got you right where I wanted to.
"I said, I don't know. I don't know, Wooyoung."
"I don't fully believe you. But OK. I choose truth."
"I think this game is stupid. We should stop playing."
"But I want to play. I only speak the truth."
"Fine. Next question. Why are you always so mean to me?"
"I'm not mean. I'm just honest and straight to the point."
"Which is a great way to always say what you want without dealing with the consequences."
"What are we even talking about? Is this about me or about you?"
"Forget it. It's late, though, and I have things to do. I think you should leave."
I don't even reply to that. I go to the bedroom to change back to my clothes. What did I expect from this conversation? Did I really think it would go any different? I pushed it. I put San in a corner willingly, knowing it would trigger him. Sometimes I don't actually know why I do certain stuff. I just do it. I wanted him to think about this, he will do for sure. I will too.
"Have a good day, San. Thanks for the fun night. We should do it again."
"Yeah. See you on Monday."
***
𝕊𝕒𝕟
He closes the door behind him and he's finally gone. How did we go from cuddling together and having a lovely breakfast to spitting rude words to each other? I don't want it to go like this, it can become toxic very quickly and I just don't do toxic. What are you doing, Wooyoung? And why? Can't you take what is given you and be satisfied with it, for once?
My feelings. I don't really know what my feelings are. It is too early to say anything. I do know, though, that I don't want to lose you, or to be mad at you. But why does it always has to be me the one to reach out when things get though? Not just with you, in general, I mean. Because I'm the one who knows pride is useless in these cases, that's why.
Shit, I am going to call you, after all.
Ring.
Answer, please.
Ring.
I need to set this right. I just kicked you out of my house.
Ring.
"San?"
Fucking finally.
"Wooyoung. I don't like how we ended things today. I've been rude, and for that I am sorry. I hope I didn't offend you and if I did, I owe you one. Big time."
"Don't sweat it. I pushed you and I shouldn't have. We were having a good time until I decided to be an asshole. I am the one to be sorry. I hope you liked my breakfast, though."
"I did. Thanks for cooking for me. It was kind of you. So, no bad blood between us, right?"
"No, not at all. But thanks for calling. I know I wouldn't have done that, and I would have been pissed on Monday, and I would have acted even worse - so thanks for saving us from that."
"Sometimes I, too, do the right thing, it seems. Have a nice weekend, Wooyoung. See you at KQ."
"Yeah. You too. Bye."
I feel lighter now. I can go on about my day without carrying a heavy load in my chest. Sometimes, solving interpersonal problems can be quite easy, if you put your ego aside. Good thing I learned that the hard way a long time ago.
***
Author's note: a slightly shorter chapter, but an intense one. The guys are getting always more and more into their relationship as we go on with the fic.
What would you have done if you were San? Would you have called?