Sabrina POV
Since being hired onto this project, I was super busy working with the Carhartt concept every day. I wanted to do my best for my company, for the others involved including Marshall, but also for myself. This was finally my chance to shine and take my career to new heights. I thoroughly enjoyed that special evening with Marshall Mathers and all those sexy kisses, but nothing ever came of it. I texted him later that same night just as he told me to, "I made it home safely.", he texted me back, "Good to hear! Take care Sabrina."
And that was all.
The project was pitched just a few weeks before Christmas, so I flew home to Philadelphia to spend the holiday with my husband before really getting lost in my work and from the moment I stepped in the door, I knew something was off. There was no long-awaited kiss, he didn't sweep me off my feet and carry me to the bedroom. He barely even acknowledged my presence. I felt like I was cramping his style. It wasn't a secret that we had been distant for a long time now, but I always held out hope that things would change once I settled into this job and Brandon would join me in Oregon. We were intimate one time that entire week after being separated for months and it was cold. He never asked how this new job was going, he didn't care to hear about the project. I knew in my heart my husband had found someone else.
Even on Christmas Eve, I was surrounded by family. My siblings gathered with their partners and all my little nieces and nephews buzzing around waiting for Santa. I have a niece in her early twenties who I am quite close with, so I spent most of the evening catching up with her. I wanted to share it with my husband and for him to tell me we would start a new chapter and fly back together to Oregon next week, but he didn't even make it to celebrate with me that night. He had gone out with his "colleagues" for a holiday drink.
I was pleasantly surprised though to get a text of holiday greetings from Marshall.
M: Sabrina, I hope you're having a very Merry Christmas!
S: Thank you so much! To you and yours as well!
I held my phone tightly to my chest absolutely giddy that Marshall was thinking of me that night.
~~
"So, I guess I'm going back to Oregon tomorrow." I scowled at Brandon across our breakfast table. "After that stunt you pulled on Christmas Eve, I can't even stand to be around you."
"Bri," he exhaled seemingly annoyed, "I already told you; I lost my keys at the bar. And then I had to back track to- "
"For four hours?! That's such bullshit!" I stood up and pounded the table, "I know you're with her, I know who she is. And why the fuck did you even need to go out on Christmas Eve of all nights? You should have wanted to be with me on that night. I flew all the way home to see you. To see if we can fix this."
"Bri, I honestly think if we had a family, things could have been different. I want children."
My eyes teared up. I knew all too well it was going to come to that.
"My own children." He emphasized. "I always thought by now you would have quit work to raise our family."
"Brandon I've had three miscarriages in the past ten years. Each time it happens, I lose a piece of myself. The pain is unbearable. I can't keep putting us through that."
"I know. Me neither." He honestly admitted, but it made my stomach turn.
After over a decade together, my husband and I had grown apart and I was going to be alone in this world. I had other family and friends and people who loved me, but I had been part of a couple for what seemed like an eternity. It was going to hurt to inevitably end this marriage, probably in ways I couldn't imagine. Yet there was a glimmer of excitement of what my future holds. I was finally working at my dream job, and I didn't want to choose between that and being a stay-at-home mom. My aspirations in life were now different than Brandon's. I had my quaint little apartment in Oregon waiting for me and I honestly couldn't wait to get back to my happy new life without my husband. All he did was hold me back from my dreams.
"I don't even care. I'm not in love with you anymore either." I glumly admitted.
I had no sense of trust in my marriage. It didn't feel safe. I wanted my man to be proud of my accomplishments and inspire me to keep reaching my goals, but Brandon hadn't even asked about my new job once since I'd been back. It was heartbreaking when he told me my new tattoo was corny and that I shouldn't have gotten it on my forearm. He didn't compliment the blond balayage I just got in my hair either.
I did as I said and left early to return to Oregon and spend New Year's Eve alone. Brandon inevitably filed for divorce just two days after I left Philly. I buried myself in my work for the next weeks to come and I loved it! I loved making this project come to life. I kept myself busy with the few girlfriends I had made there in Oregon, worked out, continued to make my apartment my own, but the day came that made my world sink.
I'll never forget when Brandon flew out to Oregon with his lawyer. He stayed at a hotel, to this day my husband has never seen the inside of my apartment that I had lived in for months without him. We ate dinner together at some restaurant to start dividing our assets until I asked him what hotel he was staying at, and he wouldn't tell me. He had the nerve to bring his side hoe along for the trip and made a little vacation out of it.
It fucked me up.
While my personal life completely crumbled around me, things couldn't have been better at Nike. The team was proud of my involvement with the assembly of the materials and production began on the new Eminem Carhartt Family and Friends Edition sneaker as planned. My input on the design was basically finished within the first few weeks, I had moved on to other projects, and it took even more time until it was released.
The day the Jordan 4 Retro Eminem Carhartt came out was a huge success in the sneaker community and there was excitement buzzing throughout our office the entire day. I was so proud I could burst! I could smell a promotion with my name on it in the air. I practically skipped around the halls that day. I didn't know everyone who was on the elite list for this shoe, but I knew Dr. Dre would receive a pair, Fifty Cent would surely be included. Every Eminem sneaker ever made has several pair auctioned off for charity as well.
And later that night when I arrived home to my apartment after unveiling such a rewarding project, I received a pair! I was about to jump out of my skin with excitement! I was fulfilled with a sense of pride I had never known to be achieving my dreams, and Marshall Mathers was now a personal friend of mine! There were a dozen roses of all different tie-dye colors and a handwritten note that read: "Thank you so much for your expertise, Sabrina! I couldn't have done it without you! -Marshall" I hurriedly walked inside concerned I might faint.
I inhaled a deep breath, folded the note and held it against my chest to feel the thuds of my rapidly beating heart.
He still thinks of me sometimes!