Chapter 37
"Hawkpaw, are you with me?"
Still blinking bleariness and exhaustion out of her eyes, Hawkpaw couldn't quite place where she was, nor what was going on. She was laying in a heap of snow, making her injuries feel numb. She shivered as the snow threatened to prove deeper into her pelt.
"Hawkpaw?"
Suddenly, all the memories began to sweep into Hawkpaw like an unforgiving torrent of water. Fragmented memories flowed over her head, and for a second she fell back, gasping for air. The powers...Dawnclaw...Smokepaw!
A paw gently went around her back, trying to help support her up. As Hawkpaw's senses finally began to come to, she took a deep breath. What she caught in her throat made her rear back in confusion. This cat smelled like Adder and Dawnclaw.
Hawkpaw backed away, fluffing up her pelt, and baring her fangs. She felt energised from her sleep, and was ready to attack whoever the strange cat was. As her eyes adjusted to the lengthening shadows that came with the end of night, Hawkpaw realised that she had only been out for about half the night.
"What do you want?" Hawkpaw lifted her chin as she stared defiantly at the cat who was beside her. "Daw-" her voice trailed away when she finally saw who the cat was.
Duskfang. FalconClan's former deputy and Dawnclaw's littermate.
He looked so much smaller than he had in FalconClan. For a heartbeat, Hawkpaw guessed that it was his lack of wings. Then understanding lit her. He seemed small, because he looked so vulnerable and defeated. Scars criss crossed his body, and one of his eyes was swollen and unseeing from a deep cut which ran from the tip of his ear, all the way down to the base of his neck.
"Yeah," Duskfang stared down at his paws when Hawkpaw stared keenly at him. "It's me. Look, Hawkpaw, I'm sorry."
The time for sitting around and dishing out apologies like they're freshkill is done. Hawkpaw stared at Duskfang calmly, though her fears were beginning to trickle in once more, along with her doubt of what to do next.
"You must be with Dawnclaw, right?"
For a heartbeat, Duskfang stared at her with his one seeing eye. "That's funny." He let out a bark of dark amusement, gesturing at his ravaged face with one paw. "Good guess, though, all things considered. But no." He winced when he touched his wounded face. "Dawnclaw did this to me... or at least, she got Coalfang to do it for her."
Hawkpaw's first thought was relief that she hadn't been caught by the enemy. Her next thought was sadness, wondering what Smokepaw would think when she learned of how far her brother had gone. Then, fear and guilt seeped in as she remembered her friend lying broken and motionless.
"It wasn't your fault," Duskfang meowed softly. He stared off at the distant snowy cliffs. "You saved the clans, more than any cat cares to admit."
"We have to find a way to stop this, Duskfang. You're the clan deputy, which means that you must have some id-"
Before Hawkpaw could press further, there was a faint scratching sound from somewhere behind her. Immediately, Hawkpaw was on edge. She flexed her claws, dried blood still dried in around the edges. Duskfang eyed her sharply.
"You're right about one thing, though," he meowed at last. "We need to figure out a way to stop this nonsense...before Dawnclaw finds her way to strike back at you. Believe me, my littermate has many unused resources. She'll be trying to retaliate and kill."
"He's right, you know."
That voice. For a moment, Hawkpaw could only stare blankly at Duskfang. He looked up uncertainly, his tail flicking to and fro. The sound of paw steps from somewhere behind Hawkpaw made her chest tighten. She tilted her head backward slowly, and met the gaze of a dark grey she-cat.
The scar over her eye gleamed in the moonlight, while her blue eyes flashed. Within a heartbeat, Hawkpaw had gotten to her paws, backing away slowly as the cat padded forward, two others behind her.
It was Adder.
"Hello." Adder sat down calmly, and wrapped her tail around her paws. The two other cats, one who Hawkpaw recognised as Swipe, the other an unknown tom, exchanged a glance before sitting down slightly away from Adder.
Her mother's ribs were protruding, and innumerable scars ran along her flank. Her eyes were raw as though she hadn't had any sleep, yet she looked up at Hawkpaw with an air of calm defiance. Hawkpaw stared at her own dirty, scratched up flank, noting the physical similarities between herself and Adder.
"What are you doing here?" Hawkpaw tried to make her voice sound level, although internally her heart was racing. She hadn't seen her mother since everything, and her chest was bursting with confusion and unanswered questions.
"Why am I here?" Adder repeated the words slowly, as though she was thinking them over. The way she said it was so unlike the cold, indifferent mother Hawkpaw had known, that she instantly knew something was up.
When the silence dragged on uncomfortably long, with Hawkpaw staring, shocked, at her mother while Adder stared blankly back, Duskfang let out an awkward huff.
"Er, Adder? Hawkp- Hawk is your daughter...You came here to help her out, because you care about her, right?"
Again, Adder just stared. Then, she narrowed her glazed eyes. "Be quiet, Duskkit! I won't act like your pet like I do for Dawnkit! That foxdunged flower she found...I'll get her for that, just you wait an-"
Then Adder seemed to see Hawkpaw. Instantly, she sucked in a deep breath. Then, Adder stared down at her paws. Hawkpaw realised that they were trembling. How is this possible-
"I still say we launch an attack on the clans!" The pale brown tom announced, breaking the silence. "Right, anyone?"
"Be quiet, Twig." Swipe stared uneaily at Adder.
Then, Adder shook her pelt. "Right," she began to Hawkpaw. "Ignore all that I just said. When you're older, you'll understand. For now, we need to focus on-" Her voice trailed away.
Right at that moment, Hawkpaw felt her heart seem to splinter into tiny pieces. She stared at each of the cats around her. Duskfang, who was scarred and nervous. Swipe, who was old and sad. Twig, who didn't understand a clue about what was truly going on. And Adder...who was losing touch with reality. In that moment, she felt as though they were all looking at her to be the strongest among them, even though she had literally just run away, and tried to sacrifice herself at the Starlight Pool.
Taking a deep breath, Hawkpaw tried to take control of the situation. She turned to Swipe, who seemed the most calm and aware of all the other cats.
"What's going on here?"
She needed to know where the rest of Adder's colony was. She had obviously recruited Twig somewhere along the way. If she had more cats...No. Fighting won't work. We have to find another solution. Still, Hawkpaw desperately needed to know what was going on. She turned to Swipe once more.
"Is Blaze here? Twig looks an awful lot like him...Is he Blaze's kit?"
Swipe winced visibly. Instead of answering Hawkpaw's latest questions, she addressed the first one.
"After FalconClan took you in," she began, staring at Adder, who had begun a glaring contest with Duskfang. "Um...Adder started making stranger and stranger requests. She was searching for something, a flower...She said that she needed it for something."
"The Dawn of the Claw?" Hawkpaw whispered, staring at her sun-scar.
Swipe's ears flicked up in surprise. "Yeah. And she kept looking for some cat which she sometimes called Dawnkit, other times Dawnpaw. Which was weird because I know that those are suffixes for younger cats." She hesitated. "I know I dropped hints about being in a clan before, but you might be too young to remember them...I grew up in CometClan. I found the vine cave, and self-exiled after I realised the mistake I'd made."
Okaaay then. Hawkpaw stared at the sky, soon the sun would rise. Which meant dawn, and likely a renewed attack from Dawnclaw. She knew she should be searching out the Ferals, making sure that they were all okay, but somehow she knew this story was very important, so important that it might hold the secret to how to defeat Dawnclaw and save the clans.
"Anyway, back to the story," Swipe continued, after a brief moment of self-reflection. "I think Adder was looking for answers, but the longer it went on, the more and more erratic everything she did got. Mountain was the first to flee, right after Adder ordered him to go kill a FalconClan apprentice to prove his allegiance to her. I think she knew she wanted a young FalconClan cat, but she couldn't remember why."
Oh Mountain. Hawkpaw wondered how much time he'd spent observing FalconClan, learning about which cats were apprentices; his targets. He would never kill a cat, and Hawkpaw knew that for certain.
"Bolt and Wolf were slower to leave. Bolt, always having idolised Adder didn't notice the signs, or she ignored them. Eventually, Wolf revolted and killed Eagle." Swipe blinked sympathetically at the mention of Hawkpaw's father. Hawkpaw shrugged; she hadn't been close with her father, and he hadn't really been in her life. His death hurt like the death of a distant clanmate.
"Bolt decided to leave with Wolf, when she finally understood the magnitude of Adder's...stuff. Twig here," Swipe nodded to the young cat. "He just sort of came in around this time too."
"My father's name is Dart," Twig put in softly. "I have a sister too. Her name is Stick. She's ultra smart, but she feels really sad a lot."
Foxdung. Hawkpaw stared at Twig. How could she tell him that she'd recently seen the aloof Dart, as a leashed FalconClan Feral? How could she tell him that his littermate had succumbed to Dawnclaw's cruelty?
Twig eyed her. "You know them, don't you?" He looked away, wringing his paws together. "We really need to fight the clans then!"
"No," Hawkpaw was surprised by how firm and controlled her voice sounded. "No more fighting. Dawnclaw is the problem," she stared at Duskfang's grim expression. "Okay, and her loyal followers. But, if we remove Dawnclaw from the situation, then everything should work out."
"Easier said than done," Duskfang meowed.
Not helpful, Duskfang! "She has neither the weapons nor the gifts that Great Mother gave her," Hawkpaw retorted. "She just has her followers."
"We don't have 'followers.'"
Duskfang sounded rueful and bitter as he stared at Hawkpaw. To her surprise, she realised that he was acting like her deputy, offering suggestions and criticism to her remarks. She decided not to think too much about it, instead turning to Adder.
"Mom," she murmured softly. "I-I think you should leave. What's about to happen next...it won't be pleasant, and I don't want-"
Adder cut her off. "Look, Hawk," she meowed. "Maybe I look weak to you. Maybe I am weak. It doesn't matter. I'm not running away from this. I'm going to protect you this time." She hesitated. "I'm sorry, and I'm sorry about Blaze too."
Hawkpaw stared at her mother in understanding, but she still felt confused. "Don't worry," she meowed. "Blaze is somewhere around here. I know it! I've been so isolated in the clans that I haven't yet looked for him, but after Dawnclaw is defeated we can find him...together! He's one of the main things that kept me going through all this, the lessons I learned from him, and the thought of seeing him ag-"
"Stop it!" Adder cut Hawkpaw off before she could continue. This time, she stared at Hawkpaw as though Hawkpaw was lost and confused. "Don't you see he's dead? He's been dead this whole time," she murmured.
"You don't know that!"
Blood pounded through Hawkpaw's ears as her mother stared at her. "I do know," she responded firmly. "Because the night I scarred you, I went out. I buried him."
No, no, no! The world seemed to swirl around Hawkpaw, and she let out a desolate screech. Blaze couldn't be dead. Surely she would have felt it, if she had none he was just gone. Adder has to be wrong...Suddenly a memory struck Hawkpaw. She had seen Blaze's hazy and blurred figure during the snowstorm. He'd led her to Specklekit, which had, in turn, led her to FalconClan, and to all her friends.
Friends... Hawkpaw narrowed her eyes. As she looked onwards, she thought she saw the figures of cats on the distant horizon. Her heart began to beat faster and faster, until it was pulsing madly in her chest. For a split second, she wondered if it were Dawnclaw's troops, but after a closer inspection Hawkpaw knew it couldn't be. Her friends had come...but why? And why to her, the cat who had destroyed everything?
Hawkpaw raced forward, her paw pounding over the freshly called snow. She was vaguely aware that the wind was picking up, but all her attention was focussed on the cats at the head of the large group; Icicle, Mountain, and Adderpaw.
Once she was within a tail length of them, the three cats rushed forward to greet her. Icicle ran her muzzle along Hawkpaw's wounded shoulder, while Adderpaw bounced around Hawkpaw happily.
"We found you!" Adderpaw purred.
Icicle shot Mountain a triumphant glance. "Mountain, here, thought you'd run to the Starlight Pool to make a sacrifice like the Great Mother. Hah, we knew you wouldn't abandon us."
Hawkpaw decided not to mention that that was exactly what she had planned to do. When she met Mountain's expression, he gave her a respectful nod, eyes brimming with relief. Adderpaw, meanwhile, hadn't stopped jumping up at down.
As the initial joy of the friend's reunion began to wear off, unease began to settle like a stone in her belly. Hawkpaw gestured with her tail to all the cats surrounding them in a ragged semi-circle. Most of them were FalconClan Ferals, but a few of them were cats she didn't know by name.
"What's going on?" She asked in a low voice. "Where's Smokepaw?"
"Oh, I'm here!" Hawkpaw turned to see Smokepaw tottering towards her, being supported by Wave and an AquaClan she-cat. She winced visibly as she stared up at Hawkpaw. "Right, I'm here for the big action!"
Hawkpaw stared down bleakly at Smokepaw's twisted hind leg. Her friend glanced back at it once, before flicking her ear in a rueful gesture. She gave Hawkpaw a smile.
"Don't worry, Hawkpaw. I'm alive, and all our friends are alive, and that)s what really matters." She glanced over her shoulder at all the cats.
"I'm sorry," Hawkpaw murmured to all of them. "Somehow, I feel that this is all my fault. In particular, she stared at the former AquaClan she-cat who was beside her.
"You're apologising to me?!" She yelped. "Hawkpaw, you're a hero to all the clans." She dipped her head. "My name's Rainsplash. I just wanted to say that the way you lead, and help others is so inspiring. Your whole thing is inspiring!" She glanced affectionately at Wave. "You helped me see that I can be a warrior, love Wave, and help everyone out!"
Hawkpaw stared at Rainsplash in bewilderment. She had expected enraged cats to come to her with vengeance in their eyes. Instead, she found herself meeting a group of friendly Ferals and other cats.
Smokepaw stared at Hawkpaw, eyes glittering with pain and emotion. "Icicle told me what happened, and how all the cats practically ran you out," she rasped. "I don't think you realised that after you left, they all came together. Warriors from all the clans had to support and help one another whether they were in need of food, healing, or shelter. There were plenty of cats who were really grateful.
Icicle stared up at the dim sky. "Not to dampen your spirits," she meowed quietly. "But there are cats who want you dead. They're saying you killed Nightstar in cold blood! Not to mention that now the only cats legally positions of power are Ravenfeather and Dawnclaw."
Seeing Hawkpaw's confusion, Mountain meowed under his breath, "Aquastar died."
"Who else died?" Hawkpaw shuddered, remembering how every cat here had recently been at one another's throats.
Icicle just shook her head. Hawkpaw wondered if she was thinking she didn't know the numbers, or if there were too many to count. It was Wave that spoke.
"I'm not really sure of the names of the cats," he admitted quietly. Rainsplash sighed ruefully, leaning against the empathetic tom.
"So what now?" Smokepaw asked.
No cat spoke. Suddenly, an eerie cackling sound lifted from somewhere beside the Starlight Pool
"Oh, I'll tell you what's going to happen now!"
Hawkpaw suddenly jerked her head up. No, no, no! She knew that voice all too well now. Slowly, she turned her head towards the Starlight Pool, and saw her worst nightmare come true. A cream tabby she-cat, along with three others were all purring loudly.
Each of them held an unsheathed paw to the throat of the four cats Hawkpaw had just been speaking with.
At the centre of them was Dawnclaw, her paw raised to Adder's throat.