"What? What did I ever do?"
"Your heart."
"That doesn't even make sense, what about my heart?"
"Even after all this time you still have a heart; bruised yes and not entirely whole but not cold and that is something extraordinary. You are so strong."
"Strong? I am not strong. You saw just how not strong I was, or do you need reminding," I said yanking up my sleeves. He glanced down briefly and his eyebrows furrowed but still he continued.
"Yes, I understand that but don't you see your still with us; your cutting was just a way, an unhealthy one at that, but a way nonetheless at keeping sane."
"I don't feel sane," I mumbled offhand.
"Yes, well anyone who thinks explicitly that they're sane are in fact the exact opposite."
"That still doesn't give me a reason to trust you."
"Ri I don't know what will persuade you, all I've done is try and protect you. I know it's hard but I hope you can come to trust me. I can't promise to keep you safe but I can promise to try my hardest and that I have no connection to the people who took you."
"How can you know that, they have people everywhere?"
Walking towards the window, I wiped a swath through the grime to see the sun shining on the lake and wondered how something could still be so beautiful in a world like this. Wiping my hand against my trousers to get rid of the dust and dirt that had accumulated over what I suspected were many years.
"What is this place? How come no-one's been here in years?" I questioned curious.
"After a particularly bad beating he used to drag us all here to say 'sorry' but all he was really doing was saving his own ass as the time allowed the bruises to subside so no-one would uncover his true nature. At first it was enough to convince my mum that he still loved her as he tended to her and treated her like a human being and so she stayed, saying that it would get better. She tried to hide her pain from us but I knew how much pain she was struggling with. Fed up with seeing her hurt and over-confident thinking I could prevent the beating but it just ended up with us both injured on our little family trips. Despite being injured I always tried to keep up with my sister and him, not wanting to leave her alone with him, but I wasn't successful all the time. I should've seen the signs when they came back that something wasn't right but she wasn't injured and I didn't think that even he would go that far. I was even jealous of her back then as he would always pay her attention and hold her tight on his lap. Oh how naive and stupid I was."
Opening the back door he exited the house me following shortly after. He quickly made his way down the ragged path, his feet knowing the way until he stopped at the edge of a small rundown wooden pier with a covered boat upturned next to him. I saw from a distance how he knelt down and lifted up the no longer waterproof covering before dropping it back down. Reaching the edge of the water, having slowed down after losing my footing and cutting my hand on a rock on the way down, I tentatively stepped onto the pier alarmed when it creaked loudly. Stepping again, carefully avoiding a hole, I made my way down towards the end.
"She loved this boat; she'd always beg me to take her out in it. I can't even remember how many picnics and afternoons we'd spend in it. She never liked the colour though so in a bid to cheer her up one day when she was ill I painted it baby pink and put her name on the side. I'd saved up from helping wash my neighbour's car to buy paint," he laughed as tears fell down his face. "It didn't last long I didn't know anything about paint and I couldn't afford anything really suitable anyway but the inside, rim and name lasted."
Reaching for the cover I lifted it off to see a faint name engraved on the side, and tilting my head I was able to make out the word 'EVA' written upside down. Glancing back I saw him rapidly wiping away the tears on his cheeks but I ignored it not wanting to embarrass him.
"I'm sure she loved it."
"Yeah she did."
"You should go back inside. I'm going to scout the area to make sure we're the only ones out here.
Go up the stairs second door on the right and take this," he said pulling out a gun and handing it over. Flinching at the sight of one I began to shake my head when he pressed it into my hand. "Take it, you remove the safety, point and pull back the trigger if anyone but me comes through the door."
Hands shaking, gun still lying across my palm unclasped, I shook my head. "I can't. I don't do guns."
"Ri, just please keep it with you. You probably won't ever have to use it but I'd feel a lot safer if I knew you had it on you. It's small you can fit it in a pocket."
"You should keep it-"
"I have another one so please just keep it with you. I won't be long and there is food in the bag so take it up with you in case you get hungry."
I tried to protest once more but he kissed me on the forehead before running off the pier and out of sight surprisingly fast for someone who was still injured. Touching my forehead I stared at where I last saw him to the gun still in my hands to the boat and back again. Getting up I gingerly put the small gun into my pocket not wanting to hold it anymore and nervous at being so out in the open I reluctantly did what he said and headed inside. Closing the door behind with one last glance at the lake, I picked out some food before heading up the creaking stairs. There was little light up here despite the sun still being high in the sky and hearing a scuttling noise I hurried into the first room I found.
Closing the door behind me, I looked into the room to discover the light flooded the place but what I discovered I wish I hadn't. The wallpaper was peeling and faded but the fantasy princess scene was still apparent which I thought was ironic when I saw what was right beneath it attached to the bed: rusty and blood stained chains with cuffs at the end. Moving away from the chains having seen way too many already, I backed against a set of drawers and out of the corner of my eye I noticed I had knocked something off at the same time. Looking down at the floor I saw several objects and stuffed toys, one more worn than the others. The no longer fluffy bunny with floppy ears (one sewed haphazardly back on) in particular stood out in the dusty group and reminded me of my own bear who I could tell all my secrets to at times when no-one else would listen. Picking it up, I hugged it towards my chest as I looked back over at the chains thinking of what she went through but also reminding me of when they liked to have their girls restrained not drugged.
Hearing noise downstairs I acted on instinct and hid under the bed. I gasped though as soon as I crawled into place tucking in my feet as I saw multiple finger nail marks on the floor. Knowing just how they got there I started shaking pulling my feet in closer. Hearing the steps creaking I clasped my hand over my mouth to help muffle my whimpers. A door close by was opened and footsteps entered the room. By the sounds of it the person was searching the room and I prayed that they weren't searching for me and come in here to do so. I bit down on my lip when the footsteps moved closer and the door to this room was opened. After a slight hesitation the man entered the room and I begged silently for him to just go away but I knew I wouldn't be so lucky. Tears silently running down my cheeks, with one hand still clutching the bunny, I reached the gun with my other pocket and slowly pulled back the safety praying that it didn't click. Having successfully done this I pointed the gun, hands shaking, towards the edge of the bed as feet stopped at the base of the bed. Gearing myself up I prepared to fire if he discovered me, though whether I could actually do it I didn't know. I never had to find out though as a softly whispered "Ri" had me gasping aloud at the familiar voice as I dropped the gun on the floor.
"Ri, are you in here? It's safe to come out, it's only me."
"Yeah I'm just coming out now." I said as I wriggled from my place of safety before launching myself at him. "Please don't leave again. I thought they'd come for me." I gasped out into his shoulder only for me to realise what I'd just did. Trying to withdraw, I mumbled apologies but he just shook them off saying it was fine.
"You found Flopsy. She never used to go anywhere without her."
"I can tell; she's a little worse for wear."
"Yeah well the ear was kinda my fault but I tried sewing it back on, though my skills weren't so hot back then with a needle."
"Find anything?"
"Hmm. Oh no nothing and no-one around. I'll do a route every day but I think for the moment if we stay low here we should be fine."
"We can't stay here forever though, what are we going to do then?"
"I don't know just yet but I will come up with something."
"What do we do in the mean time then, just sit here?"
"I'm going to get in touch with a couple of people to get them to investigate but yes for the time being we need to stay here and recuperate."
"You can't just keep me here."
"Ri, I'm not going to force you to be here or do anything you don't want to do. I would never do that to you, but you will be a lot safer here with me. Besides where else would you go, they already found you at your house it's not safe there?"
"Is it safe anywhere?"
"I suppose not, but it is safer here. Please just stay here for the moment; we don't even have to speak to each other if you don't want to." He said interrupting me as I opened my mouth. Sighing I nodded but as I did I saw something strange cross his expression.
"I'll leave you be then, I'll be downstairs if you need me." He said already heading out the door.
Confused at his sudden change, I felt my eyebrows furrow as I watched his back retreat. Dredging up the courage I hurried after him, grabbing his arm. He turned his head back before looking down at my hand and I let go quickly.
"I...I."
"What do you need Katherine?"
Shocked at his tone I swallowed my request, stepping back not knowing what I did to anger him. Letting him head down the steps I didn't follow, deciding to sit at the top instead. 'Best give him space' I thought to myself, not wanting to be around when he exploded. I watched as best I could in the dim light as he disappeared into the kitchen. The light slowly bled from the house, and no longer distracted my injuries came to the forefront of my mind. I knew she'd packed some painkillers and I would kill for one right at this moment but I waited not wanting to disturb him. I tried to think of something else but now that I noticed them they weren't going away again. The hall was much darker now, the moon not having anywhere near as penetrating effect as the sun. I had no idea what the time was but from my stiff position I knew it had been hours. No longer able to talk myself out of it any longer I put my good hand on the stair beside me and pushed myself up to my feet. I tried to be as quiet as I could, missing the particularly creaky steps but every now and then a creak escaped un-expectantly and I winced every time. Avoiding the kitchen like the plague, I headed into the room with the bags and started going through them. It took a while as I tried to do it silently but eventually I had turned out everything and discovered that the whole medical kit was not in here anymore. That only meant one thing: it was in the kitchen with him. Looking at my swollen hand I decided that it was worth it as I didn't think he would hurt me.
Taking a deep breath I headed into the hall before entering the run down kitchen. It wasn't as run down as the rest of the house though I discovered, looking relatively clean as if it had been washed down. A well muscled shirtless figure by the sink nearly had me running but I saw the kit next to him on the counter. I knew that I couldn't sneak up on him any further, besides he probably already heard me, so I cleared my throat awkwardly not knowing any other way to catch his attention. When that didn't work, I did it again louder but apart from a slight alteration in his stance he didn't respond.
"Sean, um. Sean?"
He turned around and I noticed that he had changed his bandage on his stomach.
"Yes."
"Um can I have some painkillers my hand really hurts?" I said gesturing towards the open kit.
"Sure. Do you want me to redress your dressings as well?"
"That would be great, thanks."
Rooting around in the bag, he then handed me two pills which I hastily swallowed desperate for the pain to go away.
"We can wait till they kick in and then change the bandages as it will hurt less, if you want?"
"I think I'll just go to sleep now, can you change them in the morning?"
"Yeah sure just tell me when."
Feeling tired all of a sudden; whether it was the drugs or just a long day I couldn't tell, nor did I really care. Yawning I headed slowly out the door pausing briefly at the exit.
"Aren't you tired?" I questioned as I saw him just staring into the distance.
"Not really and don't worry if I get tired I'll find somewhere else to sleep."
Confused once more I let him to it, thinking that it would make sense in the morning. I'd barely laid down and slipped the cover over, too tired to even zip it up, when my eyes closed and I was ripped back to the past. The past when everything changed once more, not for the better though as I had hoped but for the worse. The much, much worse.
***
Loud shouting woke us from our slumber, his arms trapping me to his side. He reached over to switch the light on when suddenly the door was kicked open and many armed men entered the room. He pushed me behind him and reached for the gun he kept under the mattress. He didn't make it though as his men dragged him out of bed to land with a thud on the floor.
"What the hell do you think you are doing? You are all in so much trouble."
"No, Sir it's you who is in trouble. We've decided. You're out and I'm in." Came a voice from the back of the group as he came forward.
"Damien what the fuck? How dare you! I demand that you put away your guns and return to your posts." He said angrily trying to get up off the floor but too hands quickly forced him down. I tried to move away from them, knowing that this was not going to end well but someone had sneaked up behind me and yanked me over to them by my hair.
"Oh so you know who I am, you didn't know my brother when you ordered his execution."
"Who are you even talking about?"
That didn't go down to well as Damien punched his face, snapping his head back but he was held up by the two guys either side of him.
"Jamar, my brother, the one who led the retrieval of your precious toy thing here."
He laughed and I looked sideways at him, not believing how crazy he was acting when we were surrounded with guys with guns. "That guy, he was a bastard who tried taking what belonged to me."
"She was fucking asking for it, and I can't wait to hand her out to every single guy here and more. She's going to be burning with a dick inside her twenty-four seven." My heart rate sped up as all the guys turned to me and the looks of lust were transparent on their faces.
"You stay the fuck away from her, that's never going to happen. Never whilst I'm still breathing."
"Well, we can soon change that. Any last words? No, okay?" He turned towards me opening his mouth but before he could say anything a gun blasted out a bullet into his head and his blood splattered across my face and into my open mouth. Spitting it out I watched as his body was let go of and he dropped to the floor eyes open and still staring at me. Screaming I tried to get out of their grasp but they just held on tighter lifting me up into the air, making my arms ache.
"Now we can have some fun. I think it is well past time we all got to see a little more of you don't you think boys?"
Egged on they crowded around, but waiting for Damien to start. His hands reached out as he stroked my cheek but I turned and spat at him disgusted and terrified beyond belief, knowing that the man lying on the ground had protected me from harm but now he was gone.
"Get off me!" I yelled but it wasn't very convincing as my voice wobbled as he pulled a blade I remembered out of a sheath on his waist.
"Shut up you fucking whore, he can't protect you now. No-one can."
Breathing heavily he moved the knife around and I eyed it warily afraid for what he had planned.
"Now I think my brother deserves some recognition of your body since he never got to fully sample it. Now how shall I do that?" He said like he was thinking aloud. "A nice engraving should do it, but where? Let me see her more."
He ordered and without hesitation the thin nightie was ripped from my frame like it had been so many times before. I couldn't cover up, no matter how hard I tried, and so exposed in front of a room full of men I began to imagine just what horrifying things they might have planned. The cool blade touched my skin and I tried not to flinch not wanting it to have any reason to dig deeper into my skin. As he trailed it over my skin he kept on muttering "no...not there."
I knew screaming would not help so I tried to be as quiet as possible and imagine somewhere else but the tears still bled silently from my eyes. He circled me always touching my skin with his blade as he explored.
"There just right. Hold her down on the ground, face down." He ordered and I was immediately thrown to the ground and legs straddled my own whilst hands held my shoulders down. I tried getting back up not knowing what was about to happen but knowing it was going to hurt but my head was just shoved down into the carpet to the point where I could hardly breathe. The tip of the blade was pressed against one of my bum cheeks before it was dragged down into the skin. Searingly painful I couldn't help but scream as he took his time as if I was a piece of canvas as he drew god knows what on my skin. It felt like years but eventually he was done and he leaned back harder against my legs and I feared that my circulation would be cut off with his weight.
Blood was pounding through my head that I didn't hear when he removed his pants but I did feel the sudden painful intrusion that had me screaming all over again. I tried to twist away to end this torture but it only made him thrust harder and place me waist in an even more fearsome grip. He stopped and shifted his weight and I couldn't help but pray that it was over but I knew that it was far from it. He dragged me upwards by my hair, shoving my knees underneath me, before re-entering me with enough force to get carpet burns. Each time he drove in he would slap against my newly carved cheek and the pain would jolt through me as if I'd been electrocuted.
My vision was blurred through all the tears and I begged for him to stop, to let me go but he didn't. In fact it just made it worse as he ordered "someone fill this whores mouth." I didn't know what he meant but as an engorged dick came into view I couldn't move away as more hands gripped my head and shoved the thick shaft down my throat. Gagging at the invasion I struggled to breathe as he didn't withdraw just continued to thrust until his hairy balls touched my chin. Sandwiched and utterly helpless between two thrusting, unforgiving cocks I pleaded mentally for them to just kill me already but it was not to be.
"Suck bitch or you're not getting any air."
I didn't believe what he said though I tried to keep my lips as far apart as possible trying to stop the pain. I couldn't get enough air through my nose and scared of passing out in this situation I gave in applying pressure to the veiny throbbing piece of meat.
"That's a good girl, now keep it up or we'll be back where we started," he said whilst withdrawing enough that air could flow.
Gasping, not realising how pleasurable air was and how much people took it for granted. It was short lived though as a sharp thrust from behind forced most of it out and I didn't get another chance before mouth-dick deep throated me again and I reluctantly sucked trying to get him finished so it would be over.
"Oh shit you're good. Fucking hell. Yes, yes, yes!" Warm fluid sprayed the back of my throat in spurts and he pulled out moving away. Trying desperately to clear my airway I started coughing it out on the floor.
"Whore what do you think you are doing? Fucking lick that up and swallow it all." Damien shouted forcing my head down, the angle causing him to thrust in deeper. Fearing suffocation I quickly licked the horrible mixture from the newly cleaned carpet, swallowing some of the carpet hairs at the same time: the texture disgusting.
"That's it, all done?" He questioned and not able to do anything else I slowly nodded my head.
He yanked my hair back and I hastily placed my hands on the floor for support so all my weight wasn't being held up by my hair. He let go of my waist and slipped his hands down to cuff my breasts which he grasped harshly as his movements became more erratic until finally he too was finished. Slipping out of me, he pushed me to the side and unprepared I sprawled on the floor semen and blood still pouring out of me. I crawled into a ball wanting to hide from the stares.
"Have some fun boys, don't hold back." Damien ordered and with that I was hosted into the air and roughly thrown on the bed. Stopping myself from hitting the head board too hard, my wrist stung from the pain as I glanced back to see several men undressing hurriedly, each with the same lustful look in their eyes.
"No, stay back. Go away!" I yelled scrambling backwards only to realise I'd trapped myself.
"I don't think so bitch. The amount of times we suffered because of you was way too high; it only seems right how we get to have a whack at you in his bed. Now where to start?"
"Doesn't matter Joe, we've got time." The only already balding guy said with a malicious glint in his eye, "we've got loads of time."
Gulping I tried escaping off the bed but with snake reflexes I was grabbed and forced to the middle of the group, where numerous slimy hands started groping my body whilst one grabbed my neck forcing his tongue down my throat. He pulled back, smirking at my disgusted face. Gathering saliva in my mouth I spat into his face not wanting to give up this time, needing to be strong. He punched me in the face in return so hard that I flew backwards into the arms of the guy behind me, and his arousal pressed against my lower back. I couldn't see a way out, couldn't see anything but male naked bodies. A sudden movement allowed me to see outside my doomed circle and what I saw appalled me even more: Damien stood grinning holding up a large camera, the red button on showing it was filming. Crying out in pain as it started, not one part of me wasn't hurting or being mauled and violated. I tried to build walls, to keep them out, but it wasn't working. I tried fighting but they just gave it back fifty times worse and so eventually I stopped. I stopped everything and prayed that it would be over soon. I prayed to keep my sanity but I feared that it was a lost cause.
The sun rose and set and Damien was true to his word: new men came and went, never letting me rest. I passed out for most of the later days but the evidence of their presence was still there when I came to. The smell of sex, sweat, piss and blood the worst combination in the world. The next time I came to though, the familiar well-furnished room was long gone; in its place was what looked like a dungeon. Freezing cold with no windows or light source of any kind that I could tell, I backed up until I reached a wall. The wall was cold and uneven to touch, rough bricks if I weren't mistaken, and I tried to feel for a way out, using the wall as a guide. I soon banged into something metallic and upon inspection I discovered it was a bar. Freaking out I followed the bars around until I came back to the wall and soon came to the conclusion that I was in a cell. Still naked I rubbed my arms trying to warm up, the temperature far from pleasant with no clothes. Legs aching I sat down carefully to not put any pressure on my engraved cheek. I hugged my knees to my chest and tried to fight the coming sleep but I couldn't and it dragged me under.