CHAPTER SIX / hunger.
YOU MAKE A FOOL OF DEATH WITH YOUR BEAUTY, AND FOR A MOMENT I FORGET TO WORRY.
( ODETTE: Eddie and I. . . We wanted to keep our relationship a secret, something just between us, you know? Except after two months, it turned from us purposefully keeping it from everyone to just us waiting to see how long it would take for everyone to notice.
EDDIE: It was Warren's fault really. When we were on tour, he kept telling me that when we got back to make a move and I did, but he didn't know that, so of course he kept going when it got cancelled. When I told Odette, I expected her to just say we could tell him, but it was her idea to just see how long it would take for them to ask or who would crack first.
ODETTE: [ Grins ] I kissed that man so fucking hard when he agreed. )
"I think Camila is onto us," Eddie commented.
Odette grinned as she turned to face him, leaning against one of the bookshelves they were hidden between. "Did I not tell you that she would be?"
"I'm not admitting you're right."
"But I was," she said, moving toward him and wrapping her arms around his waist. "What clued you into the fact she probably knows?"
"When I told her what we were doing today, she gave me this look."
Odette laughed. "God, I hate that I know exactly what look you're talking about. But I don't think it's because she knows, but something else."
Eddie frowned as he looked at her. "What else could she be talking about?"
She patted his cheek gently before pulling away from him and searching through the books once again. "Camila has one look for when she knows things. That look could've either been that's she aware that, my dear, are completely and utterly in love with me or, you're right, and she does in fact know we're together," Odette explained as she pulled Cinderella from the shelf.
"You want to test that theory?" He asked, causing Odette to look at him.
She narrowed her eyes. "This is going to be a bet?"
Eddie scoffed humorously. "I'm not going to bet on something you'll probably win."
"Even if I make it worthwhile?"
As she stared at him, she knew that he was considering taking the bet. Even when she returned to looking for whatever books caught her eye─ instantly picking up Frankenstein─ Eddie remained silent. It almost made her laugh, especially when she walked away, leaving him there and completely unaware of the fact. By the time he caught up to her, hands wrapping around her waist and causing her to lean back against him, something that had become instinct at that point, she already had four books tucked under her arms.
"Okay, so if I agree, what do you get out of it?" She smiled mischievously at him, and that was enough of an answer. "Dumb question."
"I think the real question is, what do you, get out of it?"
"Bragging rights."
"Bragging rights?" She repeated.
He hummed in response. "Bragging rights for. . . A week."
She turned around in his arms. "You, Eduardo, can ask for basically anything, within reason, if you're proven to be right, something in which where we're concerned, doesn't happen a lot─ Oh."
He laughed. "Yeah, get it now?"
Odette nodded. "And you do realise that I'm hoping for you to be wrong?"
"I do, but too bad you didn't ask for bragging rights."
She kissed his cheek. "Like that would stop me, sweetheart."
( INTERVIEWER: Who was the first one to figure it out?
ODETTE: Give you one guess.
INTERVIEWER: [ Laughs ] it was Camila, wasn't it?
ODETTE: [ Nods ] did you ask Eddie the same question? [ Pause ] and let me guess, he was extremely smug and probably said something along of the lines of him being right about it being her?
EDDIE: It would've been more surprising if she wasn't the first person to know about us. It's Camila. I didn't even tell her I had feelings for Odette, she just knew, so if anyone was going to figure out that we got our shit together, it was going to be her, and Odette had her doubts. I ended up being right about the whole thing and of course, I couldn't let her forget that she was wrong.
ODETTE: Predictable. )
When they arrived at the house at Laurel Canyon, she wasn't as surprised as Eddie had been when they found Lucy sitting at the dining table while Camila paced the length of the room with Julia in her arms as the two women talked. But at the sight of the Camila talking to Lucy, however, the second she saw Odette head their way, she stopped speaking, something that Odette had grown to learn was a common occurrence just around her. And it wasn't as if they were talking about her, because she knew Lucy, the woman didn't hide the fact that Odette was a conversation topic, but rather always said something that let Odette be aware of the fact.
Due to that, she knew Camila's sudden silence and words of: "oh, you two are back early," being said in a way that was clear she was worried of what might've been overheard, and that's how Odette knew what they had been talking about.
She tried not to let it affect her in any way, after all, as far as Camila was aware, all Odette knew about Billy's situation was that he was in rehab after drowning in drugs and alcohol during the tour. The others knew differently, when they had gotten back, Karen had straight up asked her how much she knew, as if knowing Eddie would've told her, to which Odette admitted she knew everything, and where Graham and Warren were concerned, they didn't ask but had talked openly about it when they had gone out to lunch one day and Odette wasn't exactly sure if Eddie had told them she knew, or if they had assumed she knew either through him or Karen. Although admittedly, she would put her money on Eddie considering how worried they acted whenever she'd sit in on their band practices, they must've known she'd threaten their instruments.
She just wished that Camila would say something to her about it, Odette sure wasn't going to be the first one to mention Billy's cheating, far too worried that Camila would get angry with Eddie over telling Odette about it. And if Odette was being honest, the longer the topic went unmentioned, the more she couldn't help but wonder why Camila hadn't said anything. Making her wonder what she had done or said to cause Camila not to trust her. The thought had sent her down the same trail of thoughts that plagued her whenever she was with Benjamin, wondering if she had become far too honest that it bordered on being judgemental and untrustworthy. But as far as she was aware and something that Karen had reassured her about, her disliking toward Billy hadn't been obvious, or at least when it was, had been because Billy had started it, resulting in Odette rightfully finishing whatever he started.
Thankfully, Odette had spent far too much of her life as an actress, meaning that she had perfected the art of not acting weird under certain circumstances. Although it did help that Eddie stood with her, hand pressed against her back in a way that was subtle but mainly comforting. It made her wonder if he noticed it as well or just knew her well enough to know she was stuck in her mind.
"Shockingly enough, Odette has some self-control when shopping," Eddie joked.
She glared at him. "I'll say no next time you ask to tag along, Eduardo."
"You wouldn't."
"She would," Lucy commented, taking a sip from her drink.
"I would, just ask Romeo."
He met her gaze. "Your brother scares me."
That laughed both Odette and Lucy laughed.
"Romeo is harmless."
"He subtlety told me he's likely capable of getting away from murder."
Odette's laughter increased, practically leaning against Eddie, giving him the perfect opportunity to place his hands on her waist. "The worst part is that it's very likely he could."
"You're lying." He then turned to Lucy. "Please tell me she's lying."
Lucy smiled, but it didn't quiet reach her eyes. "You'd be surprised with what people in Hollywood can get away with."
Her words were enough to pull Odette out of her humorous state, wiping her eyes as she turned to look at Camila, only to find her staring at both her and Eddie, a small smile on her face. Odette nudge Eddie. "Is that the look you were talking about?"
"The exact one."
"You want to translate for us, Cami?"
Camila straightened, adjusting a still sleeping Julia in her arms. "How long?"
"I told you she figured us out."
Odette groaned, pressing herself further against him, something that was probably impossible given how close they already were, until Eddie moved to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and therefore draping himself over her. "You are so lucky you asked for bragging rights."
He pressed a kiss to her temple. "Why do you think I did?"
Someone then cleared their throat, reminding them both that they weren't alone, and with that realisation, Odette pried herself away from Eddie, instantly mourning the loss of his body pressed against her own. She moved from him and sat at the dining room table opposite Lucy, ignoring the way that her cheeks were flushed under her aunt's knowing stare, something that caused Odette to sink down in her seat. And when she risked a glance toward Eddie, she found him already looking at her, a bashful expression on his face that he seemingly wore proudly.
"To answer your question," Odette said, turning her attention to Camila. "Since he got back from tour."
Camila hummed. "That makes sense, you two have been glued to each other's sides more than you were before."
Odette shrugged. "We stopped being subtle after a two months, now it's a game of who figures it last."
"Who's your money on?"
Then without even looking at each other, both Eddie and Odette said the exact same answer; "Graham."
Their answer caused Camila to laugh. "I wouldn't be so sure about that." She then looked down at her daughter. "I'm going to put this one down."
Lucy nodded. "Do you want me to stick around?"
Camila shook her head. "I'll be fine but thank you." And with that, she headed to her part of the house, shooting the two women a wave over her shoulder as she did.
"You are staying here?" Lucy asked as she stood up.
Part of her wanted to say yes, especially when she looked over at Eddie who was also waiting for her answer. But instead, she said, "I've got things I need to do at home, so I'll go with you instead of making you waste money on cab fare." As she spoke, she pulled out her keys and handed them to Lucy who took them from her.
"Like we have any money to waste," she mumbled before shaking her head. "Don't be too long because you know I'll leave without you," she told her, giving a pointed look to Eddie as she passed. "Bye, Eddie."
"See you later, ma'am." And when the front door shut, he said, "I still have no idea if she likes me or not."F
She smiled softly at him as she stood in front of him, grabbing onto his hands with her own. "She does, she just knows me and knows that if I get distracted, I will end up staying here all day and forgetting she's waiting for me in the car."
"You know, that doesn't sound like a bad idea," he admitted, clearly not thinking through his words until he backtracked. "The staying here part, not the─"
"I know what you mean, don't worry. And trust me, I would too, but I didn't buy those books for nothing and I'm itching to get my hands on them." Odette then reached forward, moving one of her hands to the back of his neck as she pulled him in for a kiss.
It was something that Odette knew she wouldn't be able to get used to, just being able to reach out and kiss him without worrying about what might happen because know she knew what would. Yet even whenever it happened, Odette couldn't get enough. He was addictive, that every kiss and every touch left her wanting more. But there was always something holding her back from giving herself over to him in the way that she was craving. That godforsaken voice that was lingering within the back of her mind that caused her to pull back during any moment in which her want and need for him was strong. Even when his hands brushed against the skin that peaked from underneath her shirt of her waist, that voice grew ever present.
But it wasn't her pulling back from him that ended the kiss, rather the sound of the door opening and shutting behind someone, and at the sound, both Eddie and Odette pulled away from each other, coming to find Graham entering the house. Yet instead of saying something, he simply gave them a small wave before heading to his and Eddie's room.
Odette frowned. "Looks like we were both wrong." She then patted Eddie's chest and moved away from him. "I'll leave you to─" She waved her hand in Graham's general direction before she kissed his cheek and left the house.
( GRAHAM: Honestly, I thought Odette and Eddie were dating the entire time, not just after we got back from tour. Then Eddie told me otherwise and I was surprised. We all saw what they were like at Billy and Camila's wedding, sure she danced with everyone, but it seemed more romantic with him. Then when we got back, if Eddie wasn't working or practicing with us, he was with Odette. They weren't subtle, which apparently, they weren't trying to be. I'm pretty sure I kept telling Karen that Eddie was on a date with Odette whenever she'd ask if I knew where Eddie was running off to.
KAREN: I wasn't even sure if I was meant to know about them. I knew Odette would've told me, but it was Graham who did, so we both agreed just to not say anything until they did in case it was meant to be a secret despite how unsubtle they were. Turns out it was only intended to be a secret for a two months.
EDDIE: I think we were too good at being obvious that somehow everyone knew we were together, but they just thought we were terrible at being subtle which meant none of them were going to say anything. Except for Warren, he still didn't know. )
Odette practically ran to the car once she was a reasonable distance away from the home that none of her friends would've seen her doing so, because while she wasn't exactly sure whether Lucy would leave without her, her aunt was also extremely unpredictable and there was no knowing whether or not she would follow through on a threat. And with that thought, she fully understood why Eddie wasn't exactly sure if Lucy liked him or not, something she voiced once Lucy started the car.
Lucy laughed. "Am I scaring him too much?"
"He's been scared of you since before he even met you," Odette admitted. "I don't think it helps with who you are, you know a famous Oscar winner and all that."
She rolled her eyes. "No need to pull out my credentials, swan. But I suppose I'll ease up on the boy." And Odette couldn't help but laugh at her words. Lucy then looked at her niece for a brief moment. "Answer me this and then I'll back off completely. Is he treating you right?"
She couldn't stop the bashful smile that appeared. "He's fucking perfect. I just. . ." Odette trailed off, shaking her head. "Doesn't matter."
Lucy frowned. "It clearly does if there's something bothering you."
Odette sighed. "I think old insecurities are coming back. They weren't there before when we were just friends, and now that we're more. . ."
"Odette, if you start having those thoughts again like you did when you were with Benjamin, you come to me okay? Because I don't think I could handle that again."
She bit the inside of her cheek. "I don't think it'll get that far. It's more everything Katrina drilled into my brain."
"Fucking mother of the year for that," she growled, her grip on the steering wheel tightening. "What did your brother say about it? Because if I know you, and I do, you would've talked about it with him."
"Sort of? That was more him telling me that if Eddie gets mad that I didn't tell him about all the bullshit that happened before I moved in with you, then he doesn't actually care about me," Odette replied.
"Then the same logic can be applied to this situation."
"I think you're both missing the part where personally, I very much want to do everything I can not to lose him and therefore am fucking terrified of saying anything in case I ruin everything."
Lucy shook her head disappointingly. "Remind me to call your brother when we get home."
Odette rolled her eyes. "An intervention really?"
But Lucy was quick to dodge the accusation by changing the subject completely; "do you want to explain to me why you bought Alice in Wonderland? Have you suddenly grown a fondness for something you've hated since you stared in it?"
She scrunched her nose up. "Don't get me wrong, I still fucking hate it, but I thought I'd try a new art medium."
"So, you're going to destroy it?"
Odette nodded, instantly perking up as she started to explain her vision. And as a consequence, her prior conversation had suddenly drifted to the back of her mind where she knew it would remain until everything would pile back up again. But if there was one thing that Odette Miller was good at, it was lying her way through things, being a child actor, it was the perfect training method to act one's way through things, regardless of the situation.
Deep down, she understood her aunt's, and by extension, her brother's words, knowing that they were right. Unfortunately, none of that really mattered when there was a constant devil sitting on her shoulder and whispering in her ear everything, she thought she had long gotten over and all she wanted to do was simply ignore it.
( ODETTE: [ Points at the camera ] here's a little bit of advice for everyone watching; communication is fucking key. I had a lot of issues growing up, having a mother who wanted to raise movie stars, she would constantly talk about my appearance and point out any flaw that there was even if it was small, I mean, there was one fucking time she told me my nose was too big even though it was hers. When I dated Benjamin, he was similar, controlling in every way that because I had grown so used to it, I didn't realise it was bad until Karen pointed it out after I broke up with the guy.
This isn't me saying that I ever thought Eddie was going to be the same, because I knew he wasn't. But being with him, it was enough to bring through all those insecurities I thought I didn't have anymore, and instead of listening to everyone who were telling me to say something to him, I was so worried that in doing so, he'd leave. So, I didn't.
KAREN: Odette had a bad habit of getting wrapped up in her work, we all knew that she would unplug the phone in her studio to avoid getting distracted. As long as Lucy or Romeo were around, we'd know she was okay through them. But there was a week when they had gone to New York for different reasons and suddenly she became unreachable. It was normal for her, so we didn't worry too much, all we did was crash her place without letting her know about it. )
Coming home from delivering a painting and finding Karen sitting at the kitchen counter hadn't been how Odette expected to get home. The worst part of it all was that she suspected Karen's intentions behind the matter. She had barely seen them all week, something that increased when Lucy had gone to New York for a few days to celebrate the 20th anniversary of one of her films alongside with majority of the rest of the cast, and when Romeo had caught wind of the fact, had decided to join her just to have an excuse to go stay with James for a week, ultimately leaving her alone. And while her constantly disappearing always was unintentional, just her getting wrapped up in her work and cutting herself off from the world to avoid all possible distractions, yet this time it was different.
For this time, she had simply used her work as an excuse to isolate herself. She knew that it was unfair of her to do so, especially to Eddie who she knew would always worry about her and now it was worse considering he was her boyfriend, and while everything was still new to both of them─ now reaching four months and because of that, hated herself for already pulling away. It made her wonder if there was something well and truly wrong with her. She hadn't been this way with Benjamin, but that all boiled down to her barely knowing herself when they got together.
Odette had been sixteen when they started dating, fresh faced in LA after her mother had wanted to move them to California and Thomas Miller agreeing because Katrina was someone you couldn't say no too, and even if you did, she would figure out a way to convince you otherwise through whatever means deemed fitting. Back then, she didn't know just how broken she was, not like she did now, she was still dealing with her mother's control and started seeing him as a means of appeasing her mother since Odette had begun to sabotage her acting career at that point. And it no longer surprised her that her mother approved of their relationship despite him being twenty-two when they had met, because Benjamin and Katrina were two sides of the same coin in the way that they treated Odette. Both of them constantly breaking her down in an attempt of creating something perfect with the pieces left.
And while she managed to pull herself together after she had left home and moved in with Lucy and broken up with Benjamin, it would seem as if she hadn't done so as well as she thought. Now realising that there were still cracks that were slowly breaking away, something that became obvious to her now that she was with Eddie.
It had nothing to do with him. Odette had kept it all from him that as far as he was concerned, Odette was just someone who had a tendency to get so caught up in her work that more often than not, she failed to take care of herself. Unaware of why exactly she was like that.
The only person who did outside of her aunt and brother, was Karen and due to it being her that had shown up and was now sitting in the kitchen of Lucy's home, she couldn't help but grow worried that Karen had her figured out. That her pulling away was a consequence of her drowning in her own insecurities.
"Did you break in?" Odette asked, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the kitchen counter.
"Did you forget that I still have a spare key?" Karen countered.
Odette scrunched her nose up. "I did. . . To be fair, you've barely used it since you moved in with the band."
She shrugged. "Didn't need to come barging in to check up on you since Eddie's replaced me with that job." And at her words, Odette couldn't help but wince, something that was noticeable to Karen. She waved her hand dismissively. "I don't care, you've been a lot happier since he's been around."
She blushed, ducking her head down and taking her boots off to avoid Karen noticing. "So, is there any reason behind this visit?"
Karen stared at her blankly. "You've been unreachable for a few days now so while the boys are off getting pizza to bring back here, I thought I'd wait here for you."
"And what if I wasn't just ten minutes?"
She smiled. "Good thing I called Romeo earlier this morning who told me you were dropping off a painting around this time and those generally don't take long."
"You could've just showed up with the boys and pizza," Odette stated.
"I could have, but I wanted to talk to you."
Odette couldn't stop the sigh that escaped from her lips, bending down to pick up her boots as she headed to her bedroom, unsurprised by the fact that Karen was following her. "If this is about me avoiding Eddie, I get it, I'm a fucking asshole and it's unfair─"
"This was going to be about the fact that you two are dating, not─ why are you avoiding him?"
In typical Odette fashion, she dodged the question entirely. "When did you figure it out?"
"Graham mentioned it a few days after we got back, so I've known this whole time thanks to your inability to be subtle," she explained as they entered Odette's room. "Now answer my question."
Odette dropped her boots, not caring about putting them in the right spot and she collapsed on her bed. "I just got in my head for a bit. . . But I'm over it, everything's fine so I'll just pretend like I got caught up in my work."
The bed dipped beside her as Karen laid down next to her. "Are you over it?"
She nodded but didn't look at her. "Very much so."
Karen was silent for a moment─ a moment too long that finally did Odette look at her and grow worried that she was seeing right through her. That they had been friends for far too long that Karen had figured out how to pick out the lies Odette spoke out loud. But she knew that was her worrying too much, the only person who could do that was her own brother and that was simply because he knew what she was like before she used her acting skills to lie through her teeth.
"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
Odette sighed. "I know. . . I feel like we need to have a girl's night again."
"With Romeo included?"
"Always, although I think after last time, we should either skip on the wine or keep it from him."
Karen laughed. "We should also invite Camila─ we tried to convince her to come, especially since her mum is staying with us while Billy's in rehab but she doesn't want to leave Julia."
Odette hummed in response. "It'll probably be easier when Jules is older. Lucy says that it's hard to let them go for even an hour when they're that age, gets easier when they're a toddler."
Karen nodded her head before silence washed over them and Odette went back to staring at the ceiling.
"You ever think about that?" Karen suddenly asked.
"About what?"
"Having kids."
She thought about it for a moment, frowning as she did so before eventually saying, "not really? I think I'm one of those people who doesn't really care. I'll be happy with my life regardless of whether or not I have a kid as long as I have a partner to share that life with. If they don't want kids, then that's fine, I'll be okay with that and if they do, then I'm going to hope they'll be fine with two."
Karen laughed she grew serious. "I don't think I was born for that kind of life. . ."
At the statement, Odette grabbed hold of Karen's hand and squeezed it gently. "There's nothing wrong with that. Lucy didn't think so either and she's perfectly happy with how she lived her life. I just hope you'll be perfectly content with being an aunt to mine."
That earned Odette a smile, something she was aiming for.
"Glad to know you have no intentions on getting rid of me, sweetheart."
"Like I would."
"We've arrived with pizza!" Warren's voice called out, very distantly but still being able to be heard by the two women. "And if you don't hurry up, we're going to eat it all."
That was enough to get both women on their feet and heading to the kitchen where they found the boys already sitting at the dining room table and getting stuck into the food, the sight making both women roll their eyes at before sitting down with them. As Odette took her seat next to Eddie, she placed her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently before removing it as she sat down.
"Welcome back to the world, princess," Eddie commented, smiling softly at her in a way that instantly make her feel guilty for not seeing him for longer than two days.
"I'm sorry," she said, reaching for his hand that sat on top of the table and placing her own on his. "I had to fix up a painting and doing that never gets easier." He squeezed her hand in the way that let her know that it was okay that she had disappeared on him, increasing the guilt that was slowly eating at her. "I'll make it up to you."
"Oh, yeah?"
Karen groaned. "Could you two not do that while we're eating."
Odette's cheeks flushed red as she looked apologetic, something Eddie didn't even try to do. "Sorry."
"What just happened?" Warren asked, voice quiet but still heard by the others. After a beat his eyes widened. "You two─"
"Took you long enough to notice," Eddie interrupted, lacing his fingers with Odette's.
And she couldn't help but laugh. "We had a feeling it would take a while to notice but four months?"
"Four months?!"
( WARREN: Four months. . . [ Laughs ] those fucking assholes. To be fair I was high a lot of the time which was probably why I didn't notice. )
Yet before either Eddie or Odette could explain further or calm Warren down over finding out that two of his friends─ best friend in Eddie's case─ had in fact been together for a time all while Warren had been trying to push Eddie into making a move on Odette, completely unaware of it already happening, the phone rang. It gave Odette the perfect opportunity to escape the situation and leave Eddie to handle it. She even went as far as to risk the person calling hanging up when she answered from the upstairs phone.
Thankfully, by the time she got there, the person hadn't given up.
"Odette speaking," she said as a greeting.
"O, it's Romeo," her brother replied, and she instantly frowned upon hearing his voice, taking notice how it was strained in a way it was after he had been crying.
"Ro, what's going on?"
"It's Lucy. . ."
AUTHOR'S NOTE / 🎸 for once in this fic, i honestly don't have a lot to say???? sorry that this is once again barely djats plot, originally the middle was going to be billy came back, but then i just condensed it into a four month period as opposed to however long billy was in rehab because the scene i had planned was easily changed,,, until i just removed it completely to what we have now. it's why we have another track title chapter change (although it's more of a swap), and fingers fucking crossed it's the last time.
🎸 and this chapter does set up a lot of stuff that'll happen in the future, but also in the next chapter, which again, will not jump back into the plot of djats. but it's still important, you know??? i'm just someone that has to write character stuff weaved between actual djats plot stuff. we'll eventually (chapter 8) roll back around to actual canon events and not original stuff.
🎸 anyways, i hope you all enjoyed this chapter, don't forget to vote and let me know what you thought because i do love reading everyone's comments even if i am completely shit at replying most of the time. and can i just say, i love reading people's reactions to hints said in the interviews that talk about odette's life post-aurora tour, they're great and even helped me with some stuff, so also thank you for that.