"Oh, Lil..."
My arms open automatically and my ex-girlfriend steps into them as if it's the most natural thing in the world; like it hasn't been over eighteen months since I stopped talking to her. She's trembling—silent sobs wracking her tiny frame. Even with a beach ball for an abdomen, Lily still reminds me of a delicate wood sprite. She smells like sunshine, and I resist the urge to inhale deeply, because breathing in Lily Milano hasn't been my prerogative for a long time. "Hey, hey, it's okay," I mumble over her head. "I've got you, Lil."
Do you, dude? Do you really?
The thought is mine, but it's Archer's voice I hear, and I know without a doubt why he forced me in Lily's direction. My brother didn't want the girl we've both loved to be heavily pregnant and alone. Turns out I don't want that either. I guess some things really are bigger than heartbreak.
You would have been a fucking brilliant dad, Arch.
My heart spasms like it's forgotten how to do its job. "Let's go inside," I whisper, trying to sound calm even while my pulse races like a freight train.
Nodding and sniffling as she eases out of my arms, Lily leads the way into the house. I step back to let Darcy walk in ahead of me and our eyes meet as she passes. Darcy's are wide with concern, brows arched and fingers brushing mine in a way that says "are you okay?" rather than "your life's a total circus, get me out of here". I release the breath I didn't realise I was holding and follow her inside.
The house Lily's parents built to commemorate their success has always felt more like a perfectly balanced spreadsheet than a family home: hard lines, carefully contained boxes, very little colour. Closed doors and muted artworks line the gallery-width hallway, ushering us onwards with brusque intention. Lily takes us to the central living room, a cavernous space which joins the bedroom wings to the rest of the house. Double height ceilings, expansive windows and oversized furniture make this room more than a little extra. It's grey upon white upon grey upon greige, with every item carefully curated and stupidly expensive. Darcy takes it all in with thinly veiled fascination, her eyes darting around the room and never quite settling on any one thing.
Lily sinks into the sixteen seat L-shaped couch and curls her legs up underneath her like a baby bird. "My name's Lily," she says to Darcy, "but I'm guessing maybe you already know that."
"I'm Darcy." Leaning her school bag carefully against the wall, Darcy crosses to the couch and sits gingerly on the very edge of a cushion. "Sorry to turn up unannounced like this."
"I'm honestly glad you did." Lily's talking to Darcy but looking at me. "Are the two of you..."
"No, no, nothing like that. We're just... friends?" Darcy tells her.
"Of course you are."
Lily smirks. Darcy frowns. I continue to stand a few feet away and choose not to analyse why Darcy's speedy denial that there's anything between us stings like carpet burn. I mean, it's not like I didn't see the way she was looking at Archer on the bus this morning, or hear her voice soften like melting butter when she spoke to him. Turns out my girl has a thing for my older brother, but then you'd think I'd be used to that by now.
Darcy jerks to her feet again. "Where's the bathroom? I really, really need to pee. And you two should... you know..."
"Down that hall, and then second door on the right," I reply out of old habit.
As Darcy scurries off, silence settles like falling snow. It's tempting to let it churn and fester, but I owe Archer more than that, and maybe I owe Lily more than that too.
"Why didn't you tell me about the baby?" My delivery is gentle, but Lily's face falls with as much speed as if I'd slapped her. She stares down at her baby bump like it's a magic eight ball.
"I wanted to," she says. "Archer and I were going to... but then he... you were so devastated, and still so angry, and I was struggling. I just never found the right moment. Days turned into weeks and months and... I'm so sorry, H. So sorry for hurting you."
"But not sorry for loving my brother?"
"No." Lily holds my gaze with a steely determination I don't recognise. "Never for that. I'm sorry we caused you pain—unequivocally, desperately sorry. But I won't apologise for loving Archer. I can't. Especially now. I'm sure that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth, and I promised myself a long time ago I would never lie to you again."
"I can respect that." I'm as surprised as Lily is to find that I mean it.
"You can?"
"My girlfriend of two years and my brother crushing on each other right under my nose? I thought you guys broke me, Lil. Arrow through the heart, knife in the back, blind-siding obliteration. But then Arch died, and the pain of that was a billion times worse. I wasted my last months with my brother on spiteful comments and pointless, righteous rage. I regret that more than anything. I hate that more than anything. But I'm here now. For Archer. And for you."
Dwarfed by the dove grey couch, Lily cries again, silent tears running tracks down her freckled cheeks like liquid grief. Or maybe relief. Without hesitation, I cross to her and take her hand in mine. "I've got you, Lil." I sound and feel sure this time. "I promise."
"Thank you, Hunter." Lily wipes red-rimmed eyes with the hand that isn't holding mine. "I just really... thank you."
"Have you guys cleared the air or... whatever?" Darcy pipes up from behind us. "Because I can pee again if you need more time."
"We're good." I smile at her over my shoulder.
Darcy edges around the couch and takes a seat on the other arm of the L. She perches primly, with her hands folded carefully in her lap. She'd remind me of my austere primary school principal, except she's worrying her bottom lip with her teeth again, and it's distracting in ways I refuse to acknowledge. I try to catch her gaze, but Darcy's not looking at my face. Instead, her dark eyes dart from my lap to the floor and back again. I take a moment to realise she's sneaking glances at my hand. The hand that's still linked with Lily's and resting on my thigh.
Shit.
This time yesterday, it had been more than a year since I'd held hands with a girl. Today, I've held hands with two of them. One is the ex who left me for my brother. The other is a maddeningly pretty, weirdly engaging girl who —as luck has it —would likely also choose my brother over me if he wasn't inconveniently dead on a bus.
I clearly have a type. And deep-seated issues.
Despite knowing Darcy doesn't see me as anything more than a friend, I disentangle my hand from Lily's and casually rearrange my body to shift a few inches closer to where Darcy is sitting.
"I love the flamingo wallpaper in the powder room," Darcy says.
"I do too," Lily agrees. "My mother chose it as a joke, but that's definitely the friendliest room in this house."
"When are you due?" Darcy asks.
"Three weeks."
Three weeks.
"Wow, that's really soon," Darcy says. "Do you have a nursery set up and stuff? Do you know what you're having? Have you decided on a name? Shit. Sorry, don't answer any of that. It's none of my business. I babble when I'm nervous. My sister claims it's one of my worst traits."
"Your sister's an idiot," I say.
"Hunter!" Lily scolds.
"Hunter's right," Darcy says. "My sister Dani's a lot. She's smart. But she's also bloody mean. Like Mean Girls mean. Trust me. Smart and mean are a terrible combination in a sibling."
"I know exactly what you're talking about. For what it's worth, you seem lovely."
"Thanks, Lily. You seem lovely too."
They smile at each other in that smug way girls do when they've found a new ally, and I wonder what the heck I've got myself into. Lily and Darcy fangirling over each other sounds like the sort of event I might not escape unscathed.
"Lily, have you seen my..." Lily's older brother enters the room with his usual trust fund swagger, a half-eaten apple in one hand and his phone in the other. He sees Darcy sitting on the couch and flashes her a grin, and then notices me and bristles. "What's he doing here, Lilliana?"
"Nice to see you too, Shane," I say.
"Whatever, mate. After what your dickhead brother did to my sister, did you really think you could just rock up here and it would be sunshine and roses?"
"Shane..." Lily warns him, but Shane Milano has never been one to heed a caution. He and Archer have that in common.
"No, Lily," Shane hisses. "No fucking way. Archer Viera screwed his own brother to get to you and then screwed you like the greasy machine head he was. Look where that got you. Fucked... and fucked." He stares pointedly at Lil's bump.
I'm out of my seat so quickly I see spots, but I'm not as fast as Darcy.
"I'm Darcy," she says, placing herself firmly between me and Shane and thrusting her right hand toward him. Despite his designer jeans and expensive Italian loafers, Shane bears a striking resemblance to a pit bull and lifts weights like a demon. Darcy approaches him like he's a harmless, spitting kitten.
"How sweet." Shane sneers. "Your girlfriend's rushing to your defence, Viera."
"I'm not Hunter's girlfriend," Darcy says. "My dad won't let me date. He's adamant about it. Which is stupid because I'm almost eighteen. But I guess you see a lot of things as a homicide detective that make you paranoid, you know?"
"Your dad's a cop?" A weirdly panicked expression flashes across Shane's face. I'd think I imagined it, except one glance at Lily's pensive expression tells me she saw it too.
"Homicide detective," Darcy repeats.
Didn't Darcy say her dad's in real estate? What's my girl playing at?
"Whatever." Shane backs towards the front hall. "I gotta go. Just get them out of here before Mum and Dad get home, Lilliana."
"Yes, boss," Lily mutters under her breath.
Seconds later, the front door crashes shut with a brutal thud.
"Phew." Darcy collapses back onto the couch, her messy mane of midnight hair a stark counterpoint to the pale grey cushions. "That was a moment. We should set your brother up with my sister. They'd make a truly charming couple."
Lily laughs, but it's a brittle, humourless sound. "Shane's always been rude and opinionated," she says. "But he's been worse since..."
"Since what?" Darcy prompts.
"Since the baby. When I told Mum and Dad I was pregnant, they took it better than I thought they would, honestly. They were even talking about Archer moving in with us so we could be together when the baby was born. But Shane? Shane lost it. Kept going on about how I'd ruined my life; that Arch had ruined my life. Archer planned to talk to him the night he... the night Archer..."
"What are you saying, Lil?" I ask, even though, deep down, I know exactly what she's implying.
Lily's eyes-cornflower blue and earnest-find mine. She hesitates, but when she speaks, her words are clear and certain. "I think Shane killed Archer."