Daena had been back in Seoul for a few days. The time spent with her family had refreshed her. She hadn't realised how much she had missed them until she was back with them.
But it didn't feel like home anymore. That was another realisation she had made on her trip. After a tearful goodbye with her parents she had actually been excited to get on the plane and head home.
Seoul was home now and she couldn't see herself leaving in a hurry. Maybe that was why she was putting off visiting the dorm or even letting anyone other than Leah know she was back.
Leah who was lounging on Daena's couch right now with her working on her laptop which was balanced on her stomach.
Daena looked at her friend and chuckled.
"What?" Leah demanded pushing her laptop aside and sitting up.
"Nothing, you just made me laugh. I've never seen someone lay down and try to work at the same time" Daena replied.
"It's a talent" Leah replied brushing her hair off one shoulder dramatically.
Daena's phone vibrated from the coffee table.
"You gonna get that?" Leah asked.
Daena shook her head at her phone. She knew who it was. Hoshi had been ringing her daily. This started the day before she came back to Korea.
She didn't know if he knew she was back but she was inclined to believe he did. Didn't take a genius to work out that her parents would have spoken to Joshua's mom who would have told Joshua and then so on.
Leah spoke again "Is it one of them?"
"No, its a friend" Daena said watching her phone stop ringing as it sent Hoshi to voicemail.
And then immediately it started to ring again.
"If you don't get it I will" Leah declared.
"Fine" Daena snapped grabbing her phone from the table and walking into her bedroom for some privacy.
Finally when she was alone and the door between her and Leah was closed she picked up.
"Soonyoung?"
"Noona? Oh you picked up"
Daena could hear the surprise in Hoshi's voice. It made her feel guilty for ignoring his calls.
"I.. I heard you were back from your trip to visit your parents." He asked.
"That's right, I'm back in Seoul"
"Did you want to maybe come by the dorm and hang out? It's been a while since we've done that"
"I don't know Soonyoung" Daena replied. She really was putting off visiting. There were conversations she needed to have but as the days went by the determination she felt after deciding had started to leave her.
"Please Noona, we are leaving soon and I wanted to see you before I go"
"Leaving?" Daena asked shocked.
"Yeah, we are going to Japan again, we leave in a few days"
"How long for?"
"Two weeks"
Daena realised suddenly she didn't want to wait another 2 weeks to sort this mess out.
"When are you free?" She asked.
"Can you come now?" Hoshi responded.
"Yeah.. umm yeah thats fine I guess"
"Okay, see you soon Noona" Hoshi said ending the call.
Daena stared at the phone in shock. There was no getting out of this now.
She decided to quickly change into something nicer before heading out.
-
Daena stood in front of the door to the dorm. The last time she had been here hadn't gone so well.
Determined not to have a repeat of that event she took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
Fast footsteps could be heard approaching the door from inside and it was quickly wrenched open to reveal a beaming Hoshi.
"You came" he grinned pulling Daena into a hug.
"I said I would didn't I?" Daena replied as Hoshi released her.
"Mingyu and I were hoping you would watch a movie with us, is that okay?" Hoshi asked as he closed the front door.
"Of course" Daena replied.
Hoshi started to walk down the hall towards the living room but stopped when he noticed Daena wasn't following.
"Are you coming Noona?"
"Umm, yes.. can you give me a minute first, I need to talk to Joshua and Jeonghan first. Are they here?" Daena asked nervously looking down at her feet.
Hoshi thought for a moment. "Shua Hyung yes, I haven't seen Jeonghan Hyung though so I'm not sure"
"Okay, I'll come find you in a moment Soonyoung"
"Sure" he called back as he walked towards the living room.
Daena stood on the spot for a moment to build up her courage.
When she felt ready she headed straight for Joshua's room and knocked loudly on the door.
"Come in" Joshua's voice called from the other side of the door.
Daena opened the door and stepped through.
"Hi" She said sheepishly as she looked at Joshua who was sitting at his desk on his computer.
Joshua spun around in his chair to face her.
"Daena?" He exclaimed shocked "What are you doing here?"
That wasn't the reaction Daena had been expecting, although she didn't really know what she was expecting.
"I came to see Soonyoung, but I also wanted to talk to you"
"Oh" Joshua said standing up. "Okay sure, is everything okay?" He asked walking across his room before taking a seat on the bed.
"Yes... and no" Daena sighed.
Joshua patted the bed beside him inviting Daena to sit.
Daena crossed the room and sat on the bed beside Joshua but left some space between them.
Neither spoke for a moment. The air around them felt tense.
Finally Joshua broke the silence.
"I was really worried you know, when you ran off like that and I couldn't get hold of you, I even went to your apartment"
"I know, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, well I wasn't really thinking" Daena replied.
"But your okay now right? Visiting your parents helped?"
"Yes it did, I needed some space to sort my head out and make some decisions"
"And did you?" Joshua asked.
"Did I what?" Daena replied confused.
"Make those decisions?"
"Oh.. um.. yes. That's one of the reasons I'm here"
Joshua took a sharp breath in. Daena turned to look at him.
"I need you to know this was really difficult for me, I've hated that I've come between you and your friend. You have to know I never wanted that" Daena said trying to hold in the tears that were forming in her eyes.
"It's okay, you don't have to explain" Joshua said.
Daena blinked at him. Joshua reached across the space and pulled her closer before taking her hands in his.
"Jeonghan and I have spoken, we've already sorted things out between us, you don't need to worry about that, we came to the realisation with a little help from Soonyoung that we should leave this decision up to you and not try and make it for you"
"You did?" Daena asked.
Joshua nodded. "So you've made your decision?" He asked.
"I have" Daena replied. The next words were difficult to get out.
A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.
"I'm sorry Joshua" She whispered. "I.. I dont want to lose you, I've been so scared of losing you again this whole time"
Joshua pulled Daena against him silently and wrapped an arm around her. Daena rested her head against his shoulder.
"You won't lose me, you cant" he whispered placing a kiss on her head.
They sat like that in silence for a moment or two.
A sound from the hallway made them both jump.
Daena frowned at the door to Joshua's room. It was open and she could of sworn she closed it behind her when she came in.
"Hang on" Joshua said getting up and closing the door.
He returned to his spot beside Daena and looked at her.
"So, your decision is?" he asked quietly.
Daena frowned at him. The tears threatening to escape again.
"Please dont make me say it" She whispered.
"I... I need you to" he answered.
Daena took a deep breath. The speech she had planned for this moment had left her. But she knew she needed to speak from the heart.
"When you left, I fell apart. I wasn't ready to lose you not before I was able to tell you how I felt. But then you were gone and it was too late"
Daena looked up at Joshua and he sighed heavily.
"I did love you then, you have to know that. I still love you... I'm just not in love with you Joshua"
Joshua looked away. Tears started to escape down Daena's cheek.
Daena grabbed his hand tightly. Joshua didn't pull away.
After a moment he looked up at her.
"I had a feeling you were going to say that" he sighed.
"I'm sorry Joshua, you have to know that, part of the reason I came to Seoul was for you.. it was just..."
"... too late" he finished for her.
Daena nodded.
Joshua took a deep breath. "I think I agree, Hoshi helped me realise that maybe I'm in love with the idea of what I missed out on with you by leaving"
"Do you regret leaving?" Daena asked suddenly.
Joshua thought for a moment before answering. "No, I don't"
"That's good then" Daena replied. She didn't want to admit it but the answer stung a little.
"I mean, I don't regret the path I have taken, the one that led me to Seventeen. I do regret not telling you how I felt before I left, who knows maybe things would of turned out differently if I had. But you can't change the past Daena"
"No I guess not" Daena sighed and looked down.
Joshua placed a finger on her chin and lifted her head so she would meet his eyes.
"This doesn't change anything between us, I just want you to be happy, even if it's with him. I'll always be here for you no matter what" he said.
Daena smiled up at him "Do you promise?" She whispered.
"Of course, I'm just happy to have you back in my life at all, just don't completely ditch me for him please, I still want to hang out with my oldest friend" he laughed nudging her.
Daena chuckled. This really couldn't have gone any better. She knew Joshua meant what he said.
"I won't, promise" She said as she entwined her pinky finger with his to make it official.
A knock sounded from Joshua's bedroom door.
"Who is it?" He called.
"Me" a voice sounded from the other side. A voice that was definitely Hoshi's.
Joshua sighed dramatically.
"Come in" he called back.
Hoshi entered the room.
"Sorry to interrupt" he said looking at the two sitting on Joshua's bed. He took in Daena's slightly puffy eyes.
"Is everything okay?" He asked.
"Everything is fine Soonyoung" Joshua replied.
Daena nodded in agreement.
"Daena just came to tell me I'm not the man of her dreams" Joshua laughed.
Daena nudged him, "Hey, thats not fair" She growled at him.
Hoshi watched this exchange in silence rubbing the back of his neck.
"Oh, umm sorry, I can go"
Joshua winked at Daena before standing up. Daena had a feeling he was up to no good.
Joshua crossed the room and wrapped an arm around Hoshi's shoulder.
"It's okay, Soonyoung, the best man won"
Daena looked at the pair of them standing in the doorway.
"Are you going to talk to Jeonghan hyung?" Hoshi asked, the question directed at Daena.
Before Daena could answer Joshua interrupted. "Jeonghan?" He asked. "Why Jeonghan?"
Hoshi looked confused and Daena had to hold back her laughter, she could see where this was going.
"But you said.. wait I'm confused, so she did pick you Shua Hyung?" Hoshi asked.
"No Soonyoung, she didnt" Joshua shook his head.
"Who then?"
Daena pointed at Hoshi. "You"
"Me!!" He yelled, shock evident on his face.
Joshua chuckled beside him.
"Umm.. uhhh, Noona I'm flattered but uhhh.." Hoshi stammered and stuttered while rubbing his neck in discomfort.
Joshua elbowed him in the side. "We are messing with you Soonyoung"
"Ohh.. ohh. You are? Thank god" he declared.
Daena stood up.
"Definitely messing with you, I can't believe you fell for that" She said walking over to Hoshi and raising herself onto her toes to stretch up and ruffle his hair.
"Me neither" he laughed.
"Come on, lets all go watch this movie" Joshua chuckled.