The brightness of the sun
Will give me just enough
To bury my love
In the Moondust
♡︎
Jisung stayed silent
for two whole days.
He barely left their bed and
mostly just slept the time away
with one of their cats snuggled close
to him to keep an eye on him.
Even their furry babies had picked
up on their owner's depressed state
and Minho was glad that his husband
was at least not alone when he had to
work in his office in their apartment.
The morning sickness hadn't left
and in general Jisung was just
feeling exhausted.
All the stress from the failed abortion,
the general pregnancy, the fact that
he wasn't working.
He felt like he was stuck in a situation
he couldn't escape.
But even in those dark days the
blonde still had someone by his
side who'd support him endlessly.
Minho.
"Min? Can we talk?
A-about the day at the clinic…"
Jisung knew that his husband
wasn't sleeping, it was past midnight
but neither of them could find
inner peace.
The small blonde was cuddled
in the other's embrace, his face
buried in the older's chest and his
arms wrapped around Minho's waist.
"Only if you're ready, my love.
Don't pressure yourself, you're
already feeling sick, you don't have
to put any more stress on yourself."
But Jisung shook his head softly,
he needed to get this off his chest.
And Minho deserved the truth.
"Honesty.. I don't know what
really happened that day.
They gave me the sedative just
how we had discussed the other
day but w-when.. When they
started the examination… "
A single tear slipped down the
boy's chubby cheek and landed
on his husband's shirt, leaving a
dark spot on the gray fabric.
"I just panicked, I couldn't do it..
I really couldn't, Min. I'm sorry."
"Jisungie, please look at me."
Minho gently cupped his husband's
cheek to lift his head a bit so he
could look into the younger's
chocolate eyes.
"There's nothing to be sorry about,
okay? But.. What now? Do you..
Do you want to try again or..
There's also another option."
"You mean adoption?"
The ravenette nodded softly as
he let his thumb wander over his
husband's cheek to wipe a tear away.
Alone the thought of going
through this pregnancy scared
Jisung endlessly.
He worked as a singer and
songwriter, he was a model too.
He would have to give up all of this.
And who would guarantee him that
if he'd do this, if he'd carry this child
and give birth, that the new parents
would be good to the baby?
Who would guarantee him that
nobody would take the child
just because Minho and him
were famous?
"No!"
The ravenette jumped slightly,
not only at the sudden outburst
but also at the fact that Jisung
had just denied.
"No?"
"No. I don't want to give
our child away to someone
we don't know at all."
Our child.
"B-but you don't want the baby,
so we'll go to t-the clinic again?"
"No."
The whole talk started to confuse
the older male, he hadn't even noticed
how he had let go of his husband until
Jisung had pressed himself back into
the other's arms with a whimper.
"I know that you want the baby, Min.
Yeah, I might be the one carrying
them but it's my child as much
as it is yours. And even if I wasn't
fully conscious anymore, the fact
that I still decided to run away from
the surgery tells me that deep
down I want the baby too."
Of course Jisung had noticed.
They had never talked about kids
but Minho would undoubtedly
be a great father.
He loved children,
even if he didn't show it a lot
to Jisung since he didn't want to
give his husband the feeling of
being pressured into something.
Every year he'd celebrate a
'bring your kid to work'-day
at his company.
Of course the little ones wouldn't
actually be allowed to enter the
critical areas where most people
were working but they'd get the
chance to learn that their parents
were working with cars.
Minho would order car-themed
healthy snacks and muffins, prepare
stacks of coloring book copies with
cars, there was always a big crafting
table to create small fantasy cars and
he'd even buy tons of balloons with
their newest car models so no
child would go home sad.
He loved those days the most.
Jisung on the other hand had
no experience with children.
He was an only child and working in
a business where 'kids at work'-days
were strictly prohibited.
Minho had always been ready to
have a child with his husband but
he never asked because if Jisung truly
wanted a baby too, he'd get the
idea himself after all.
But now things were a little different.
The baby was already there and the
blonde now realized that with his
actions he was killing this small,
fragile dream deep down in his
husband's heart that had just
started to bloom.
But he wouldn't destroy this anymore,
he would make this small
hope wither.
Not when he just learned how much
this meant to his beloved husband.
"You'll be a great dad, Min.
And I can do this too as long
as I have you by my side. I.. I'm
still scared, no doubt. But..
You'll help me, right?"
Jisung's doe eyes were shimmering
in the faint moonlight as he stared
at his husband, warm tears rolling
down his chubby cheeks.
"Of course, my love.
When I married you I promised to
stay by your side no matter what,
right? I love you so much, Sungie."
Minho didn't even care that he
had started to cry too, he was just so
happy about his husband's decision.
And that was enough to tell the
blonde that maybe this time he
had made the right decision.
"May I?"
Jisung nodded when he felt a
soft tug on the hem of his shirt and
closed his teary eyes as his husband
kissed his forehead gently.
A warm hand found its way under
the younger's shirt and Minho pulled
the love of his life closer in his
embrace as he placed his palm
right under his husband's navel.
They were having a baby,
they were going to be parents.
♡︎
Baby bean can stay uwu