Albus walked pleasantly down to his former students and Order members. They were astonished to see him. Tonks embraced him as he approached, sobbing in relief that he was alright. Remus and Sirius each eagerly shook his now unwithered hand and James just stood still, happy as anything. He knew that if anyone could solve the problem with Lily and Severus, it was Albus. Peter backed away in uncertain nervousness. He was scared of Albus' reaction to see him.
Albus said, "Thank you for your warm welcome upon my rude intrusion."
"Rude intrusion?" said Remus, "We're delighted to see you."
"It's been a while, Dumbledore." said Sirius, a broad grin all over his face.
"It has indeed, Sirius." said Albus, "And may I say, you look a lot healthier."
Sirius smiled cheerfully. Albus turned to Peter.
"I see Wormtail has been reunited with his friends, his only true friends." he smiled. He looked very sympathetic towards the crouched, pale, sweaty figure cowering before him.
"I'm sorry for my past crimes, sir." whimpered Peter.
"I know." said Albus, "I've always known you regretted your actions which was why I had faith that Harry would at one point be safe with that bond he and you shared."
Peter bowed before the still kind man looking at him with no hatred or disgust in his face and eyes.
Albus turned to James next. "I hope you've been comfortable in Hogwarts these past 16 years." he said.
"I have, sir." smiled James, "Me and Lily both. Although we always had Harry and our friends in mind."
"Well, it's all over now." said Albus. He seemed to be looking for something. "Where is Lily? I'm concerned as to why you question if she will be alright in Heaven, of all places."
"She's gone to see a person who doesn't believe that he is in Heaven." said James.
"Ah, so he did make it to you." said Albus cheerily, "I assume you're referring to Severus?"
"Yes." said James.
"Is he being as much a nuisance as you were in school, James?" asked Albus with a smile on his face.
James blushed. "Yes, he is. He won't accept he's in Heaven if we're here. He still loves Lily and can't see himself being happy. And as Lily loves him but still loves me, I can't see how he can be happy either. I'm losing faith in whatever happiness you've promised him, Albus."
Albus' eyes produced a tear. "Yes," he said faintly, "But I can guarantee that he will be. You all will."
James, Sirius, Remus, Tonks and Peter were puzzled. Albus seemed so confident. He knew that at the end of the day, Lily had a choice. She had to choose either James or Severus, leaving one of them unhappy and therefore keeping her unhappy, as she would feel remorse for breaking the other's heart. They all faced the great doorway to the Great Hall where Lily had just left.
Lily herself was standing by the dungeon doors, behind which Severus sat, sad and alone. She was continously nervous about the day Severus would eventually die and they'd meet again. She always wondered what would happen on that day and things were as bad as she had imagined. Severus refused her friendship, and felt that without her love, he resides in Hell. She knew that Severus deserved more than that. She wanted to give him just that, but she also never dreamed of abandoning James ever since she finally agreed to be his girlfriend.
After several minutes of wondering what to say and do to her old, best friend, Lily knocked on the doors. At first, she thought there was no reply. Then the door opened and Severus spoke immediately.
"Go ahead, Potter. Hurt me like I hurt your two fri-"
Severus saw it was not James, but Lily who was standing before him and he clenched his mouth shut at once.
"Hello, Sev." said Lily quietly.
Severus just stared at her. She smiled in hope of him responding. But then he stepped back and made to shut the door in her face, but before he could, she swiftly hopped into the room, much like her doe Patronus would have done. Severus observed this with great hatred. Anything to signify Lily being anything similar to James' stag form made him ill. He was also furious that Lily was forcing her presence upon him.
"What are you doing here?" he croaked, as though finding it strenuous to talk to her.
"I'm here to see you, to beg for your forgiveness and to let you know that James and the others are not lying to you." said Lily. She paused, but Severus looked no more convinced or happy for her to be there so she went on. "I have forgiven you, I want to be friends again, I am grateful for you protecting Harry, for throwing away everything for me, and...that I really do love you."
Severus stared at her. Then he turned away angrily, his face turning red with rage.
"Potter and Black, I expect it. Lupin, too cowardly to go against his best friends to support me, but YOU! Playing along with their lies and games. I suffered enough when I was alive. I watched you leave me, love Potter and I learnt I as good as killed you. Then I had to put up with your son at school to protect him for you, as I knew that's how you wanted it to be. I endured your eyes trapped in your husband's child, I put up with his arrogant nature and I died for you. Always you. And now you torment me in Hell, after everything I've done to redeem myself for you."
Lily saw him break down in tears of sorrow. She began to cry silently too.
"I know I treated your son badly, but I couldn't stop myself. He was a constant reminder of your love for Potter." sobbed Severus, "I hate myself for doing those things to your child and I cannot believe that he forgives me. But you have only pretended to and now I must spend eternity under yours and Potter's shadow. Even if it were true that you loved me, I can see it clear as day; you still love him."
He said this last word with hate and spite mingled into it. Lily tried to walk up to him. She couldn't let him think that she hated him. It was true that she was angry whenever she saw him hurt Harry, but she also understood that just the sight of him caused Severus great pain, so she couldn't stay angry for long and as she saw his remorse and love for her, she had grown to love him back, which James had accepted, but also couldn't help but feel upset about, which was understandable.
Lily put her hand on a still sobbing Severus' shoulder. She expected him to recoil and force her to leave, but he didn't. She then faced him and pulled him into a remorseful embrace and together they cried.
"I do love him, but I also love you. I can't choose between you though. I'm so sorry that I left you in our fifth year. I'm sorry that I cut you out of my life, threw my love for James in your face, I'm sorry I left you behind after I died and I'm sorry I can't choose you over James when I want you both."
"I'm sorry that I ever called you that word. I'm sorry I became a Death Eater, I'm sorry I caused your death and I'm sorry for abusing Harry." cried Severus, "But I can't call this Heaven without you."
"Then have me." said Lily forcing her eyes into Severus', "Let us be friends again."
"I want to, but I can't be friends with them, especially him." sighed Severus.
"I understand." said Lily sadly.
"I can't just be the friend who is shunted aside whenever the husband,the true love comes along." said Severus bitterly, "I can't bear it."
"Surely knowing we're friends again is enough for both of us for now." said Lily.
"Why can't you just love me?" begged Severus.
"I love James." said Lily.
"Then go to him." said Severus. He pulled away from her embrace and smashed a table and shouted "Sectumsempra!" He was pointing his wand at himself. Nothing happened.
Severus was confused and devastated that he could not harm himself with his own spell, but Lily just stared at him with pity.
"You're dead, Severus. Spells that can physically harm or permanently damage you are uneffective." she explained.
Severus broke down in sorrow. Lily didn't move. She couldn't let her chances of at least friendship end like this. She spoke again.
"I love you, Sev. Always know that. I may love James, but I love you in the same way and I wish we could be more than friends, but I hope that for now, friendship will do."
Severus didn't reply as he was sobbing uncontrollably. Lily cried too. She started begging for Severus' forgiveness, love and friendship, constantly repeating herself and neither of them got anywhere. Eventually between sobs, Severus spoke.
"I do love you, Lily." he sniffled, "And I do forgive you. I don't blame you. I could even forgive Black and Lupin, with an effort. But I can never forgive Potter for taking you away from me. And I'll never forgive Dumbledore for lying to me. He said I would be happy wherever I went after death. But I'm not."
"You can be. Just be my friend. And if we could ever find a way, we can be more than that."
"I can't just be the friend who is forgotten and ignored as soon as Potter walks in." said Severus, his eyes bloodshot from his tears.
"You're not just the friend. You're the BEST friend. And you would never be forgotten when James comes to me." said Lily, trying to reassure Severus, but just the expression on his face told her that it was no use.
"I can't. As long as James Potter is part of you, I can't nor won't be." he said sadly but sternly.
Lily finally admitted defeat. She decided to leave. Before she left, she turned back to the man she loved as well as her husband.
"It's not Heaven without you, Severus." she said piteously.
And she left Severus to his misery.
Lily went to walk back to the Great Hall but as she walked through the Entrance Hall, thoughts of Severus, alone and unhappy, because of her filled her with guilt and sadness and she collapsed on the floor, and burst into tears hysterically.
James, Albus and the others heard her and ran out to her.
"Oh, Lily." said James. He looked ready to cry too. He knew Lily's divided love for him and Severus was tearing her apart.
"It is going to be alright, Lily." said Albus, who looked pale. There was certainly confidence in his words, but it did not stop him showing pity and sorrow towards Lily's unhappiness, James' sadness and Severus' continuing loneliness.
"How do you know, Albus?" asked James.
"Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who deserve it." replied Albus.
Down in the dungeons, Severus also heard Lily's hysterical crying. He felt guilty. But he felt that he couldn't be happy with Lily even as a friend. He was always happiest with Lily when they were just alone together, but whenever James was around, it became Hell even with Lily there to support him. He couldn't face her rejection of him for eternity. But he also thought of times he had with Lily making fun of James and the other Marauders, how they loved each other's company and how he loved just being with her. He couldn't bear to see her unhappy and he now believed that all along, James, Sirius and Remus were right; Lily did love him. If she did, then he should love her as a friend anyway. Severus decided that he wasn't going to let James Potter stand in his way anymore. He wasn't going to let James win.
Severus departed the dungeon and saw everyone crowded round Lily. He didn't see Albus, whom had gone back inside the Great Hall. He saw Lily sobbing. He came a little closer. James and Sirius saw him and Lily turned and saw her best friend was coming. For a moment, they just looked at each other and Severus looked into those eyes he had loved all his life and he would love for eternity.
James finally broke the silence. "Are you here to be there for Lily despite our differences?"
"I won't allow you to stand in my way any longer, Potter. If I have to face you to have my best friend back, so be it."
Lily walked up to Severus and held his hand.
"Best friend?" she asked nervously.
And for the first time in a long time, and to everyone's surprise, Severus smiled.
"Always." he replied kindly and happily.
Chapter 5 done! And finally some sort of happiness for Severus. I felt great satisfaction writing this chapter. I enjoyed writing the suffering and the resolution. But there's still at least three of four more chapters left. Don't think I'm leaving it at this. I want Severus to have the happy ending he always wanted and deserved. I'm worried the way I planned this is a little pitiful and poorly created, but I don't care as it makes me feel better about this tragic love story that JK Rowling created without, in my opinion, a satisfactory ending.
So what do you think will happen next? How will Severus react to Albus' return? Will he be able to stay friends with Lily? Will he be able to forgive James? Can they also be friends? And how will Lily make her choice? Find out soon. Chapter 6 on its way!