raining and cold. the raindrops sprinkled on the black umbrella you were holding."(y/n), we've been waiting," a familiar voice said from behind you. you spin around and see debbie standing in front of you. an open hole in the ground behind her.
"w-what?" you ask in confusion. she suddenly grabbed you by your wrists and yanked you forward, causing you to stubble closer to the hole.
"we've all been waiting," voices whispered from the bottom of the hole, which you now recognized as an open grave. your eyes slowly drifted down as you saw your pa and nonno at the bottom. their skin was pale and dirt stained, their eyes lifeless and dark, and their mouths filled with dirt which spilled out in clumps when they talked.
"no.." you shook your head and took a step backwards. you hit something behind you and you turned around. "debbie," you said tearfully.
she gave you a smile before shoving you into the open grave. you felt the cold and stiff hands of your family grasping at you. you started to scream and practically ripping their hands off your body. you looked up at debbie, extending a hand. "please!" you pleaded with the brunette. a sinister expression plagued her face. she was now holding a shovel and started dropping dirt into the grave. the hands wrapped around you as you succumbed to your fate. you squeezed your eyes shut as you took your last breath of air.
you jerked forward in a cold sweat, your mouth was bone dry, and your cheeks damp with salty tears. you quickly wiped the excess from your eyes and ran your fingers through your hair before taking a shaky breath. you glanced towards your bedside table, where a bright alarm clock was flashing the time. 5:47 am. you sighed, pulling the sickly warm covers off your body. you knew that you wouldn't be able to go back to bed after that nightmare. slipping on your favorite hoodie over your white undershirt, you make your way to the bathroom across the hallway. you grab your personal hygiene bag you packed and carefully opened the door, making sure to not disturb anyone else. you successfully make your way into the bathroom and start your daily morning routine of brushing your teeth and washing your face. you run a brush through your hair and decide to leave it alone. it was early in the morning and it didn't look bad at all. you decided to leave your bag in the bathroom and go get some water. you slowly tiptoe down the stairs, towards the kitchen.
"where do you think you're going?" a voice asked, making you jump. you instantly jerk your head towards the voice. tammy was sitting in the living room, sipping out of a steaming mug. the coffee smell filled the room.
"o-oh just to get some water," you responded, your voice sounded short and airy.
tammy chuckled to herself. "sorry honey, i didn't mean to scare you. i'm usually the only one awake until about 8:30, when rose wakes up."
you continue climbing down the stairs. "i usually don't wake up until later too, but i couldn't go back to sleep," you admitted to the blonde.
she arches an eyebrow. "couldn't go back to bed?" she repeats.
you nod. "just had a bad dream," you simply replied, taking a seat on the sofa across from tammy.
"do you want to talk about it?" she asks.
you don't say anything, partly because you were trying not to think about it and partly because you didn't want to make it a habit to trauma dump on tammy.
"nightmares after funerals are the worst. i remember when my mom died, i had the nastiest nightmare." she visibly shivered in her chair, shaking her head. you looked at her with curiosity, which she instantly picked up on. "it was so long ago, but the feeling i had when i woke up will stick with me forever. we used to have this rocking chair on our porch, which she always was swinging on. i remember walking over to the rocking chair and touched her shoulder, then she fell off the chair. when i rolled her over, she was covered in dirt and bugs. i woke up screaming."
your eyes widened.
"it sounds worse than it actually was," tammy said. you could tell she was trying to reassure you. "okay, it was pretty bad," she admitted with a light laugh.
you pressed your lips together and looked to the side of the room. "i was at my nonno's funeral and debbie was there. she pushed me into the grave with my nonno and dad. their hands were... clawing at me. they were so cold.. and debbie started burying me with them in the grave. i couldn't stop screaming." your eyes slowly drifted back to tammy, who had an expression similar to yours when you listened to her nightmare.
"that sounds so awful, (y/n). i'm so sorry," she said with big eyes. "i understand why you couldn't go back to sleep."
you nodded, pulling your knees towards you chin.
"i'm going to get you some coffee.. unless you prefer anything else?"
"you don't have to get me anything," you said with a small smile. tammy looked at you once. that look alone made you instantly snap into shape. "coffee's fine," you say with a small giggle. "thank you," you add.
tammy's voice called out to from the kitchen; "do you like it sweet?"
"yeah," you responded. "just a little milk and sugar, please."
tammy walks back into the living room with your steaming mug of coffee in her hands. she was wearing a white robe, but underneath she had a light blue undershirt on, along with white stripped pajama bottoms. her blonde hair was tied up into a ponytail, with stray pieces framing her face. this made you look at your pajamas in embarrassment. you had on a beige hoodie and a pair of short grey pajama bottoms on. you felt your cheeks flush as tammy leaned down and handed you the warm mug. "thank you," you said again.
"you say thank you a lot, don't you honey." you smiled and took a sip of the coffee, your eyes fluttered closed. it was so comforting. "i knew you'd like this coffee," tammy said, mirroring your smile. "debbie buys italian coffee beans, which she grounds all by herself."
"i knew it tasted familiar, my nonno used to do the same thing." you felt a familiar feeling tugging at your heart. your eyes began prickling with tears.
"hon-" tammy started but you stopped her.
"it's just coffee," you whispered. "why does that make me want to burst into tears? it's just coffee."
tammy placed her mug on the end table next to the chair she was sitting in. she made her way towards the couch and sat down next to you. "honey, it's grief. your nonno just died, it's only natural for you to be sad."
"sad about a nightmare, sad about his picture, but sad about coffee? that's bullshit."
"grief is a really strange thing," tammy gently said. "but you need to feel those feelings."
you sighed, knowing that tammy was right. "it's stupid," you say with a small yawn.
"are you tired?" tammy asked moving a little bit closer.
"eh," you said halfheartedly. "it doesn't matter. because to be quite honest, i don't think i can fall back asleep."
tammy nodded, understanding your dilemma. "you know, my grandma found out a cool trick that used to help me sleep when i couldn't." you looked at her with raised eyebrows. "it involves me touching you, are you okay with that?" you raise your eyebrows more. "not like that," tammy laughs, nudging your shoulder.
"okay, okay," you laugh. "it's okay if you touch me."
tammy smiled before placing a pillow in her lap. "lay down and place your head on the pillow."
you slowly move your head down to the pillow, turning on your side, facing away from the couch. you now were looking at the bookshelves surrounding the television. you felt tammy's hands gently stroke through your hair. you couldn't lie, it felt heavenly and made you feel really relaxed.
"tammy?" you ask. your voice was a little raspy.
"yes sweetie?"
"if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your mom?" you hesitantly asked. you knew it was rude to ask such questions, but you couldn't stop yourself from wondering.
"she had cancer, it was a really difficult journey for her to live through. she died when i was ten. i didn't have a dad, i only had my grandparents. i lived with them until i went away to college."
comfortable silence filled the room. "i'm sorry for asking," you finally said.
"don't be sorry. people get curious, you know?"
you smile and gingerly nod your head. "my nonno was sick for forever. he had a really bad cough, like one of those coughs where you can hear all the mucus in his lungs. i think he had a really bad immune system and was always sick. plus being old.. that didn't help his case at all." tammy nodded, her delicate fingers still running through your hair. "thank you for helping me out with all this... stuff," you say with another light yawn.
"you say thank you too much, (y/n). i don't mind helping you out at all, it honestly kind of makes me feel better to be a mom again," she says with a small smile. "my babies grew up and my house is so empty... it's making me go slowly insane."
you looked up at her, y/c eyes sparkling from the overhead light. "please don't go insane and kill me," you said with a small hint of humor.
tammy smiled down at you and widened her eyes. "then you better be on your best behavior, missy!" she teased back.
you smiled before turning your head back. "i'll try my best," you sleepily said.
"goodnight, honey."
you yawned before finally closing your eyes, savoring the feeling of safety and comfort. "goodnight.."
debbie walked down the stairs, she was awake earlier than she wanted to be, but she couldn't seem to find you. while she was walking down the stairs she saw the top of tammy's blonde bun. upon further investigating, she saw you asleep on her lap. your lips slightly parted with soft snores. tammy had a book cracked open in her right hand and her left hand was running through your hair. "good morning," debbie said with a slight smirk.
"good morning, debbie," tammy said with a smile. tammy noticed that debbie was looking at you. "she had a nightmare and couldn't fall asleep," tammy said before debbie could ask.
"do you think she's comfortable enough?" debbie asked, shifting on her feet. tammy didn't say anything, she just looked at debbie with the same smile. "i think i'll take her up to her room," she finally said, scooping you effortlessly up in her arms.
"are you sure you can carry her?" tammy asked, finally stretched after being in the same position for about an hour.
"she doesn't weigh much," debbie said, while walking towards the stairs. your hands were now wrapped around debbie's neck with your face resting on her chest.
tammy shook her head and smiled as you and debbie disappeared upstairs.
debbie placed you down on your bed and pulled the covers over your body. she went to walk away but she stopped in her tracks. she hesitantly turned around and slowly bent down over you. her brown hair was gently brushing against your face. she took a small breath and planted a small kiss on your forehead. a small smile crossed your face. "sweet dreams," she whispered before leaving.
maybe it was for the best you got this extra three hours of sleep, you were going to need it for what you had planned during your stay with your aunt. and it involved cutting off some loose ends of your nonno's.