Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. ~Napoleon Hill
Luke's POV
I sat on the couch and when I heard the door open, I lifted my eyes to Ivan who smiled at me.
"How's it going?" Ivan asked.
"Good." I snarled at him.
"Feisty, aren't we?"
"I want to see Michael." I said.
"Yes he wants to see you too." Ivan said. "Which I don't really understand, because he usually just complains about what a handful you are."
"He-He what?"
"Yeah, you're just a lot of work." Ivan shrugged as he walked over and poured himself a drink. "I mean all the boys think that."
I was about to protest, but I knew better. Ivan was trying to tear me down. And I knew that.
"You're lying." I smiled as I stood up. "You're just trying to get me to snap."
"But am I?" Ivan smiled. "I mean, part of you has always wondered what the boys have thought. There's a part that's wondering it, isn't there?"
"I.." I trailed off. "N-No."
"Who's the liar now?" Ivan smirked. "Now there's also that, you're not a very open person. That must be frustrating for Michael. Trying to help someone who is just so closed." I did not respond. Just watched Ivan walk around the table. "I mean, it's clear to me that you're not very good at making a two-street type relationship."
"A..What?" I asked.
"A relationship in which you want something and you give it back. Your relationship is one way." Ivan said. "You let Michael give you the world but you won't even give him a second glance."
I opened my mouth but didn't say anything.
"Isn't it fun to be corruptive?" Ivan chuckled. "And the best part is that you know I'm trying to destroy your state of mind, but you're falling to it anyways. Because it sparks thoughts you don't want."
"I want to leave." I said.
"And go where? To a man who doesn't want you?" Ivan asked. And with that he walked out of the room. This was his plan? To come in every now and again, whisper in my ear and then leave me to sizzle in his poison.
I stood up and walked back and forth. I had to keep telling myself that Ivan was just trying to get under my skin. That he was seeing how well I could control myself around alcohol. If I could keep myself.
I felt my fingers run across the cold glass of one bottle. There were hundreds of bottles against the wall.
I turned and walked over to the door. Taping on it gently with my fist.
"M-Manny.." I mumbled. The door cracked open and Manny walked into the room.
"Everything alright?" Manny asked.
"Why is Ivan doing this.." I mumbled, my eyes filling with tears. "Why is he doing this?"
"I don't know Luke," Manny shook his head. "What has he told you already?"
"I-I don't annoy Michael and the boys, right? They like me?" I asked.
"Of course they do." Manny said as he leaned against the door frame. "Look, Luke you know what Ivan is telling you is all false, right?"
"I do know it, that's why I don't understand why I consider every word." I mumbled.
"Well, no matter what Michael and the boys love you, alright?" Manny said and I nodded. "Now I'm going to stand outside in the hall in case Ivan comes back. Alright? Are you okay?" I nodded again. "Why don't you lay down, relax, okay?"
"Alright." I said. Manny smiled and exited the room as I returned to the couch. Laying down I looked up at the ceiling. I probably would not fall asleep, but I needed to distract myself. Which is why in a fit of everything I started singing. Kicking my legs around in the air. Patting against my stomach a small beat.
I closed my eyes as I started to relax. Once again I was okay, but even though I was. Ivan returned as soon as I had calmed myself.
"Hi Luke, how are you?" Ivan asked, and it was like being calm did not even matter. For seeing Ivan took all of that down.
Is that what this was? A problem with Ivan? Was that why this was hard to handle?
I was not unstable. Ivan just sent me through life with frustrations, he made me do uncomfortable acts. He did insane actions himself. Ivan was a taboo in my mind.
"I'm good.." I said quietly.
"Well let's get to work changing that." Ivan smiled. "I was just visiting the boys, and Michael was talking to some girl.. She was very pretty actually."
"What?"
"She was maybe average height, blonde hair blue eyes. She was very pretty." Ivan smiled. "They seemed to hit it off well."
"Good for them." I replied, folding my arms.
Ivan paused. "Also your mother called me a few days ago, seems you haven't talked lately, huh?"
I went wide eyed. That was true, I had not talked to my mother since Michael and I had became a public couple. She was not mad about it, and I know she had called me. But my life was in shambles, I did not want her to worry.
"Why is that, Luke? She misses you." Ivan said. "I mean, I know you can't visit until vacations but you should at least call her. She's your mother. Why haven't you called her, she wanted to know."
"I don't know." I shook my head.
Ivan seemed to able to read my mind. "Is it because you've ruined yourself? You don't want your mother to see the disaster that her little boy has become?"
"I'm not a disaster.."
"You think so?" Ivan smiled. "Surely Luke, you're not that naïve! But, if you say so. I mean, it's not like what other people think about you matter. Like the fans that actually hate you, the boyfriend that isn't actually yours, the ghost of friends, and the lonely mother. Sure Luke," Ivan patted my shoulder. "You're not a disaster." And he walked out again.
Ivan continued this for two more days. Every time he walked in left me a little more hurt then the last. He was ripping me apart.
Eventually Manny had begun guiding me from the room in where I had "passed" a test. And now I got to go back and be with Michael and the boys.
And honestly that's all I wanted right now.