"Sang, I'm tired," Yuehwa said, holding on to her brother's cold hand as if her warmth would be able to wake him from his eternal slumber. "How did you survive all these years living like this? Worrying that someone is trying to stab you in the back all the time? Worrying that someone will try to harm the ones you love? I'm sorry I left you to bear this heavy crown on your own for so long."
But nothing she said now could turn back time. Her brother was no longer around to give her the answers.
Don't overwork yourself. You've barely recovered from the poison, you still need some time before you're back to full health, Ember remarked. He had his red feathers fluffed up to keep out the cold from the ice chamber, and looked somewhat like a red cotton ball. Despite his dislike for the cold, he still decided to come down here with Yuehwa anyway, because he was becoming increasingly worried about his owner. Over the short span of a month, she seemed to have lost a significant portion of her fieriness, taking on a more jaded and weary persona.
"I'll be fine," Yuehwa replied. As she lifted her sleeve to wipe away a speck of ice that had fallen onto her brother's cheek, the bracelet that Baixun had given her came into view. "Do you think he's really the one behind everything? That he was responsible for my brother's death?"
He's the most likely suspect, given that he has everything to gain with the king gone, Ember replied. Although I would hate to come to a conclusion before there is more definitive evidence. Right now we're only speculating that the prime minister is working with Prince Baixun, but nothing else has been surfaced to prove that yet.
"It's not a speculation. Jing Bohan is definitely working with Baixun and it's only a matter of time before we get our hands on something, but at least now that we know that it'll be easier to defend against him. What I want to know is whether or not they were the ones who used dark magic to poison my brother."
If she had come clean with Baixun earlier and told him about her true identity, would that have changed his mind and perhaps saved her brother's life? It was a possibility that had been plaguing her mind for a while, planting a tiny seed of guilt that only continued grow day after day.
Things are never straightforward in the world of politics, Yuehwa. Don't let your own conjectures blind you to truth, Ember said.
"You know there are rumours among the civilians about a secret community of dark magic practitioners hiding within the Haryung forest at the south of Gi."
And the poison on the arrow that struck Princess Naying back then was made from ingredients that could only be found in Jin. But you and I both know that Jin was not responsible for that assassination attempt. Yuehwa, try to keep your mind uncluttered. I know it's tempting to just run towards the easiest answer, but that would hardly be doing justice to the king.
"I know," Yuehwa replied with a sigh, getting up from her seat. "I was just trying to play the part of a stereotypical ignorant princess for once, but you're not really helping." There were times when she wished she could be more naïve and clueless about things, but her own mind (and her pet bird) wouldn't let her. Other princesses could sit in their chambers and admire flowers all day, but she couldn't even if she wanted to.
Ember rolled his beady eyes. Moping about isn't your style, he said. Stop trying to solicit pity because you're not going to get any from me ever again.
Chuckling, Yuehwa turned to her friend and said, "I wasn't expecting any from you anyway." She headed for the stairs, the ice making crackling noises beneath her feet as she walked. "Baixun and his entourage will be returning to Gi tomorrow morning, and the king of Feng will also be leaving shortly after. Shoya will need to head to Feng together with the king, since he hasn't been formally introduced to the royal court yet. If he hopes to take the crown, then he'll need to win over the support of the ministers and officials and I hardly think that the king will be offering him any help with that. He'll be lucky if that father of his doesn't try to stick a sword through his back at every available opportunity."
Then what happens after that?
"What happens after what?"
What happens after Shoya successfully takes the crown? Ember asked. I hate to say this, but Shoya could be an even bigger threat to Hwa than Baixun. We don't know what Shoya's plans will be after he secures his position. A month ago he was still an mysterious nomad hiding behind a mask and now he's not only become future consort to the regent of Hwa but also next in line to the throne of Feng. I don't think you need me to tell you that all that didn't just happen without a whole lot of careful planning.
Once again, Ember wasn't allowing her to live in a blissfully ignorant bubble.
"You don't need to worry, Ember. I know what my priorities are," she replied as they emerged out into the open. "I won't do anything that will compromise the safety of the kingdom. I promised Sang that much."
Still, Ember's warning lingered in her mind as she walked down the gravel path and wound her way through the imperial gardens in order to get back to her own quarters. Along the way, she paused in front of the lily pond, her mind pre-occupied with what the future might bring. A memory of what the chief astrologer of Feng had said just before they left the underground chamber was called back to mind—that the time of the five kingdoms was coming to an end, and through the ashes a new kingdom would rise. If that was inevitable, then the only way she could keep her promise to her brother and hand over a complete kingdom to her young nephew was if Hwa emerged as the eventual winner of this kingdom tug-of-war—or if she could maintain the status quo and stop this prophecy from becoming a reality.
"The chief steward told me that you might be here," Shoya's voice broke the peaceful silence and she turned to find him walking towards her.
From afar, his all-white outfit gave her the illusion that the White Scorpion had returned, but as he approached she noticed the intricate silver embroidery that lined his clothes and the jade pendant of Feng hanging from his waistband, and all at once the illusion shattered. He wasn't just Shoya anymore—he was Prince Minjun of Feng.
"Were you looking for me?" she asked.
"The king has made arrangements to return to Feng in two days," Shoya said. "I will need to go along, although if all goes well I should be able to return to Hwa within a month or two."
Yuehwa nodded her head. It wasn't anything that she hadn't already anticipated. "Although we've managed to get rid of Minsu, the king will still be reluctant to name you as his heir. You will need to be careful when you're back in Feng."
"I know, but I'm not that easy to kill," Shoya said with a slight smile. "The commander of the city guards is one of mine, so the capital city is more or less under control."
Yuehwa let out a soft sigh, her gaze fixated on the lilies on the surface of the pond. "I see you already have everything planned out," she remarked. Ember was right—all of it took careful planning, and whether she liked it or not, she was merely a single chess piece on the board. "I wish you well then. I hope that this time you'll achieve everything that you wanted."
"Yuehwa..." Shoya took a couple of steps closer, raising his hand to place it on Yuehwa's shoulder. But then he changed his mind. His hand fell limply back to his side.
Although they were standing side by side, it felt as if there was an ocean separating them from each other.
"Aunt Yue! Aunt Yue!" a high-pitched voice interrupted their moment of silence, and a little boy who barely came up to their waists came running down the path towards them. He threw his little arms round Yuehwa's knees when he was close enough, hugging her as if he would a bolster. Behind him, his flustered nanny was chasing after him, dropping to her knees in horror when she realised that the little prince had found the regent.
Yuehwa couldn't help but smile when she saw the little figure in front of her. She dismissed the nanny and ruffled her nephew's hair affectionately, saying, "Your mother is going to give you another scolding for running about the palace like a little monkey. What do you want now?"
Prince Yang looked up at her and pulled a face. "You said that you would come play with me when you got better, but you look all better now and you still haven't come, so I decided to come look for you instead!" Realising that there was someone else standing beside Yuehwa, he pointed at Shoya and asked, "Who is this?"
Shoya squatted down so that he was at eye level with the little boy. "You can call me Shoya. I'm your aunt's... friend," he said.
Yuehwa watched as Shoya lifted Yang-yang up into the air and sat him on top of his shoulders, keeping hold of his little hands so that he wouldn't fall over. Yang-yang seemed to like his new uncle, laughing cheerily as Shoya took him for a walk around the pond, pointing out the little critters that were jumping on the lily pads or running up and down the branches of the trees.
Watching from the side, it was almost too easy for Yuehwa to forget about all the complications that plagued her relationship with Shoya. Wouldn't it be nice, she thought, if they could just spend the rest of their days like this?
She spent the rest of the afternoon in the gardens playing with her young nephew, and when it was time for dinner, all three of them walked hand in hand down the pavement back towards the queen's chambers.
Anyone else watching this scene would have easily mistaken them for the happy family that they weren't—and would never be.
#
Later that night, Yuehwa sat in the queen's room sipping tea by candlelight. After putting her son to bed, Queen Yi'en came walking back into the room, a tired but happy smile on her face.
"He's becoming more and more active with each passing day. I don't know how I'm going to keep up anymore," she said. "He's far more like you than he is like your brother or myself."
Yuehwa laughed. "In that case he'll be a handful," she replied.
"It's a good thing. Your brother always said that you had more of a ruler's disposition than he did. If Yang-yang takes after you, then I'd feel a little more reassured about his future." The queen picked up her teacup and raised it to her lips. "I hear that Prince Minjun will be accompanying his father back to Feng tomorrow."
"Yes he is."
"And you're alright?" The queen raised her eyebrows suspiciously. "I've also heard that the both of you have hardly spoken since the royal banquet. You have to be careful, Yuehwa. There are many pairs of eyes watching your every move."
"I'm still recovering from the poisoning incident, so it's perfectly defensible that we haven't had much opportunity to interact, " Yuehwa replied. "And he needs to return to Feng, otherwise he won't be able to secure his position even with the crown prince deposed. He needs to stabilise his position in Feng before this marriage can serve its political purpose. The ministers will understand that."
Yi'en placed her hand on Yuehwa's shoulder, patting her comfortingly. "Yue-er, if it gets too hard, just follow your heart. You say that this is a political move, but I've known you for long enough to know that you wouldn't have agreed to marry a man that you have completely no feelings for. You love him, don't you? I can see it in your eyes when you look at him, when you think no one else is looking."
Yuehwa smiled sadly, her nose stinging a little as she tried to ignore the tears that were welling up in her eyes. She hated showing any signs of fragility, but now that she was alone with Yi'en, she felt like letting all the pent up frustration out of her system.
"But he doesn't love me. He was just using me all along," she said, a single teardrop trickling down her left cheek. Baixun tried to kill her, but at least he never hid anything from her. Not even once.
The queen reached over and gently wiped away the tears with her fingertips. "My dear, just because he could have been using you doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. As women, we always hope that the men we love will love only us and place us above all others, but as someone who will one day become queen, you must understand that that is not possible. If you love him, don't make him choose between you and the kingdom."
"Let me just ask you one question," Yi'en continued. "What would you do if tomorrow was the last day that you ever got to see him again? What if he never came back, just like your brother? These are difficult times, Yue-er, and none of us can predict what will happen tomorrow. I consider myself blessed to have been able to be by your brother's side in his final moments."
Yuehwa bit her lower lip and stared down into her cup in silence, letting the queen's words slowly settle into her mind.
"He's not that easy to kill," she said after a long while. "He said so himself."
"But even the best of us will die eventually."
Yuehwa abruptly stood up from her seat, the teacup that she was holding slipping out of her hand and onto the floor below, shattering into tiny pieces. She turned on her heels and ran out of the room immediately.
#
Yuehwa ran all the way to Shoya's quarters, bursting into the room before anyone had time to announce her arrival. Inside, Shoya had been in the middle of a conversation with one of his men and both of them looked mildly surprised at her sudden appearance.
"I need to speak to you," she said, looking pointedly at Shoya.
The latter stood up, nodding his head and gesturing at the guard to take his leave.
"Are you alright?" Shoya asked, once they were alone in the room. His gaze shifted down towards her hands, both of which were clenched into tight fists by her side.
"I just need you to answer my questions," Yuehwa said. "Did you have anything to do with my brother's death?"
Shoya took a couple of steps towards her, but with every step he took, she backed one more step away from him. "No," he said, stopping in his tracks when he saw that she already had her back against the wall.
"Do you know who was behind it?"
"I have my suspicions, but no, I don't have a definite answer to that yet."
"Did you approach me back on the ship to Dahai because you knew that I was the princess of Hwa and you needed to make use of me in order to regain your position?"
"No, I didn't. I told you, I only found out in Dahai when you took out your sword."
"And after that? After you realised I was the princess, did I just become a tool that you could use to get what you wanted? All that we went through in Feng—was all of it an act to gain my trust?"
Shoya shook his head. "It would be a lie to say that I didn't have that at the back of my mind, but I went to Feng genuinely wanting to find out what really happened all those years ago. Gaining your trust would be a bonus. It wasn't until meeting Sheng Yun in the astrologers' vault that I finally managed to get the full story, and I began making new plans. Back in the prison, I told you I wasn't the right man for you to depend on, that I couldn't guarantee that you wouldn't get hurt one day..."
"So are you telling me now that it's my fault?" Yuehwa scoffed. "That I made the decision and therefore I should bear the consequences?"
"That's not what I meant, Yuehwa." Shoya ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.
"That's exactly what you mean!" Yuehwa yelled, tears starting to spill out from her eyes. He was the last person she wanted to be crying in front of, but the more she thought about everything they had gone through over the past months, the more her emotions began spiralling out of control. Ember would no doubt tell her off for being a silly, stubborn little girl, but she couldn't care less. "Do you know how much it hurt when I found out that you could have been using me all this while?" It hurt right now. "I can't trust you at all, Shoya! I don't know when you're lying to me and when you're telling the truth. Everyone wants something from me, so why would you be any different? But do you know what's the worst part of it? The worst part is that despite all that, I still can't stop myself from loving you."
Shoya marched over to where she was and cradled her face in the palms of his hands. He leaned in, placing his lips upon hers.
Yuehwa's hands pushed fiercely against his chest, but she couldn't make him let go; the harder she fought, the tighter he held onto her. Eventually, she gave up. Her hands slumped to her side in resignation, and she let herself drown in his warmth.
When their lips finally parted, Yuehwa looked into Shoya's eyes and said softly, "Will you promise me one thing?"
"What is it?"
"That no matter what you do, that you'll never harm Hwa or my family? I promised my brother that I would look after them on his behalf, and I want to be able to keep that promise."
Shoya nodded his head, gently kissing away the tears on her cheeks.
"I promise."