Last night I couldn't sleep at all. I kept thinking about things and those "things" include my moms death. I felt lonely last night. I've never had a family, it's always been just my mother and I. No dad, no grandparents, no aunts or uncles.
I didn't even know if I had cousins. I kept tossing and turning in my bed that I decided I would just get up. It was 4:59am almost 5. I got myself ready and went downstairs in the most glum way I could ever walk.
I turned on the kitchen lights and looked for something to do but Lucas had left everything so tidy and spotless. I sighed.
"My life is such a drag." I whispered.
I walked around the house fixing small details like the drape that hung over the couch in the living room.
I stood outside of the double glass doors that gave me view to the pool. The sun was slowly rising but not yet. The sky was pink, blue, and a pretty shade of indigo.
"Why are you awake?" Haerin's voice startled me.
"Uh-I-I couldn't sleep so I decided to start working early." I said looking at my feet.
"That's weird. I thought you were going to take your leave?" She said harshly.
"I was but I decided to stay for my mom. What exactly is that 'debt' she owes you Kang's?" I asked crossing my arms.
"If she didn't tell you then that's something I should stay quiet about." she said.
"Why can't you tell me?" I was getting loud.
"I'm not going to fight with you Danielle, you're my employee. You got that? Now listen, I might not come home tonight because of a business trip let Lucas know." Haerin said grabbing her suitcase and her iPhone.
I didn't as to nod or turn my head. I looked at her leave through the door and didn't say a word to her. She was an asshole. I was tired of her attitude with me and treating me like just an "employee". I watched television for the time remaining till 6. Lucas was out of his room 15 minutes early.
"Goodmorning Miss. Marsh what a surprise seeing you awake so early." Lucas smiled making his eyes wrinkle.
"Yeah I couldn't sleep." I half fake smiled.
We both walked to the kitchen and I sat on the counter when Lucas opened the fridge.
"Happy birthday to you.." he began singing in a whisper while lighting up the candle.
I looked at him surprised and back at the small pink cake in front of me that had glazed strawberry's all over.
"Oh my god Lucas thank you so much!" I stood up and ran around the counter to hug him.
No one had ever made me a cake or sang me happy birthday. My mom was always working and she would just bring me Chinese food. In high school I had friends but I never told them when my birthday was. Lucas's smile was so big it could reach his eyes. He truly felt like a grandfather figure to me. I was glad I at least had someone to spend my birthday with.
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We turned up the music and cleaned the floors spotless, and ran across the marble floor with socks. Of course Lucas wouldn't do it because he was afraid of falling. I took a dip in the pool during noon for a little bit while Lucas cut me a piece of cake.
"This feels good Lucas why don't you get in?" I asked looking up to him.
"Oh no Miss. Marsh I have things to tend to, you enjoy yourself. It's a special day." he turned away with the tray of empty plates from the cake we were eating.
I put my head back and looked up to the sky, of course the sun was making my eyes squint. I was happy but deep down inside I felt like dying.
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Night time came, and after showering and blow drying my hair I decided to sit by the pool. I brought my feet up to my chest and let my head rest on my knees. I looked at the stars but they were barely visible because of the light from the house. I was back in deep thought.
"What if my mom was still here, and she wasn't a maid?" "What would it feel like to have a family and actually spend time with them on holidays and special days like these?"
"I miss you mom..so much it's killing me." I said looking up to the faded stars.
I let those unlocked feelings of mines break through. I blew up and there was no going back. I was so alone in the world and I felt as if not one soul cared about me. I felt hopeless and useless. It was my birthday and I couldn't be as happy as I wanted to be.
"Miss. Marsh?" Lucas was next to me with a worried look.
I jumped and ran my hands through my eyes so he wouldn't see the tears but it was too late.