(malakai is partially non-verbal, so when dialogue is in italics it means that she or another character is using sign language.)
"you feel light years away"
fault line by gracie abrams
Malakai sat quietly at the bar sipping at a glass of water. She did everything in her power to avoid the eyes of her friends who stood around her. She felt out of place, like a circus animal. The room felt too small. She wanted to run far, far away. The group found themselves in a tavern in Kribirsk. Warmly lit. People cheered at a performance.
"So... Shadow Summoner huh?" Malakai met Jesper's eyes before quickly looking back down at the still water in her cup. She could see her frown lines in the reflection. "When were you gonna tell us? Would've been useful to know before we threw ourselves into the Fold."
Without looking back up, her blonde waves falling across her cheeks, she responded. "Kaz knew."
"Yeah, but we didn't. You could've been killed. We could've been killed, Malakai. You're basically a home beacon in there."
Meeting the tanned boys eyes again, she stayed silent for a moment. "Don't you think I knew that? Trust me, I knew the risk. But I just thought that... I thought that it would okay. Because I crossed the Fold once before. I was wrong, I know."
Inej spoke. "Your powers would have been helpful you know? In all our missions and heists. Why did you hide it?"
"I actually did use it sometimes. To make sure you would all get away safely. Blending you into the darkness." She sighed slowly. "I didn't want anyone to know that I'm... that I'm this monster. I saw the way you all looked at me on the train."
Daisy held her hands out, darkness creeping down from the ceilings. The little girl watched in amazement as the shadows moved at her will. Cupping her hands, a small ball of dark mist danced around her fingers.
Then, a voice, from the now open doorway. Light fighting against the dark. A man she called Sir stood watching the small girl with wide eyes. He had been the nicest of all her owners. He cared for her, bought her toys and nice dresses. He saved her. He was the closest thing to a father that she ever had.
"Who are you?"
Putting her hands down, the darkness dissipates. "I'm Daisy." She answers confused.
Sir kneeled to the floor, pulling at her wrists harshly. He grit his teeth, saliva sprinkling onto his beard. Daisy's heart pounded. "No. What are you?"
The little girl trembled, her puffy pink dress shaking. "I- I don't know..."
He pushed her away, she landed in a heap on the floor. Backing up towards the door, he held his hands out in defence. "Monster... You're a monster!"
Tears welling in her eyes she pulled herself up onto her knees, sitting back on her heels. "No.. No I'm not, I'm just Daisy!"
"Demon."
Then his body hit the floor.
Malakai stared at the table, the hairs on the back of her neck rising from the memory. She didn't mean to do it. She was scared. He loved her as a daughter.
Whispering, she kept her gaze averted. Toying with the ring in her palms. "I was scared that I would hurt you guys."
Inej took the small girl's hand, but she pulled away quickly. The Suli girl's eyes softened. "What you have is a blessing, Malakai. You're our Phantom. Our protector. Sankta Malakai."
"This isn't a blessing. This is a curse."
Quickly changing the subject, Jesper sloshed the liquor in his glass. "So... That went well."
The four having flashbacks of the ordeal. Volcra growling. Everyone shouting. Then an unlikely Saint raising from the ashes.
Arken spoke, a piece of gold encrusted parchment in his hand. "The Little Palace Winter fete. There's no way we can find a way to the Sun Summoner without Nina. Especially during this ridiculous party. The place will be crawling with Second Army."
Malakai jumped in her seat as Kaz suddenly appeared beside her. He lifted his hand to his chest.
"Sorry."
All eyes shifted to him. "We're in luck. There's a good chance we can crack on. Now that we're three days travel from the capital, the next play is finding a way inside the Little Palace. It turns out the Kribirsk archives house the Little Palace blueprints. But... they're kept under lock and key. Far from the prying eyes of the masses."
Malakai sat up straighter. Jesper too following suit, knocking his hand against the bar. "Yes!"
Arken looked around at the visibly excited Crows, a small smile on his face. "Okay... What does that mean?"
Jesper smacked a hand on his shoulder. "It's time for a heist."
The Gunslinger turned away, saying his final goodbyes to the goat on his way. Malakai could've sworn she saw a tear escape his eye. Inej followed close behind shaking her head.
Malakai watched as Kaz stepped towards the Conductor. "I have a job for you, too. We need to hitch a ride east to the Little Palace. So," He placed a bundle of money on the bar. "Make friends. Let's go, Malakai."
The pair walked away, Arken chuckling behind them. "But that's the hardest job. Why can't Malakai do it?"
The polar opposite duo turned back to him, eyebrows raised. The dark haired boy scoffed. "Because, Conductor, Malakai has much more useful skills than you do. And you managed to win us over, didn't you?"
Kaz and Malakai gave each other a knowing look.
Scattered around the bedroom, the Crows lounged back allowing themselves to rest after the last twenty four stressful hours. Jesper is slumped on an old arm chair, a plume of dust rising into the air when he sits down. He throws a ball of parchment into the air and catches it repeatedly. Inej sits behind Malakai, who sits criss cross at the foot of the large bed, braiding her soft blonde hair meticulously. Tying it off with a silk black ribbon. Malakai was preoccupied by the sketch book in her lap, she drew the Fold in dark charcoal. The three turn to Kaz Brekker who walks out of the bathroom wearing a very eclectic outfit, a black beret slouched on his head. They had never seen him wear so much colour.
The trio all grin mischievously, stifling their laughter with their palms. Kaz looks to them in annoyance. "Don't start. And never talk of this again."
Jesper holds his laughter in. "Oh, no, I think you look great boss."
Malakai lets a quiet giggle escape. "Dashing."
"All right, listen up. Royal Archives heist. Here's the game plan."
The Crows all lean forward in their seats, listening carefully. Heists were their favourite pass time.
"Watchmen are on guard around the clock. We want to get in and get out as quietly as possible. That means the hardware stays in the holsters, Jesper."
The Gunslinger sighs in defeat. "Ugh, fine."
"Malakai, Inej, the dome on the roof is directly above the repository where the blueprints to Little Palace are kept."
"That's our way in then?"
"Precisely. I'll set a trail of phosphorus that will lead you straight to the target. The repository is secured at all times behind a two-part lock mechanism. So, you have to leave the way you came in."
The two girls nod to each other.
"Two hours after sunset is when you'll go in, Jesper. You'll need to blend in. The lighting valves are on the second floor. When the lights go out, that's your cue. Phantom. Wraith." He walks to the window, looking out to the street. Three pairs of eyes follow. "The archivist has to pull them a number of times a day, so we can't steal them or they'll know something is up." He turns to Malakai, her fingers darkened by the charcoal in her hand.
"So... I'll make a copy."
"You'll need to be very careful though or the ink might bleed."
"I know what I'm doing."
"Okay. That's the plan, don't stray from it. We're a long ways from the Barrel." He directed his look to the Gunslinger twirling his gun. "I'll do my part."
When Kaz returned from his own little heist he opened the door to the room expecting a ruckus and a mess to meet him. But instead, a small laugh escaped the boy who never really held more than a frown. The room was silent except for a few light snores. Malakai laid in the middle of the bed bundled up in a blanket, her arm under Inej's head who faced away from the door. Jesper's head laid against Malakai's stomach, his legs dangling off the bed. They all looked so peaceful, exhaustion taking over the teenagers. In his mind Kaz slipped into the bed with them, completing the puzzle that are the Crows. It was only a thought, of course. Kaz took a seat in the arm chair fiddling with the cane in his hands.
The Phantom followed the Wraith quickly and quietly, the two girls swiftly moving across the roof towards the glass dome. As soon as they reached it the lights turned off on cue. When it came to a sneaky heist Jesper took his job seriously. Opening a panel of glass, Phantom threw a rope down hearing the end hit the floor far down below. She signalled to the Wraith.
"You go first."
Nodding, Wraith repelled down into the dark. Phantom close behind. Their boots practically silent against the marble clad floors. They turned around, back to back, spotting the glowing trail of phosphorus. Pulling the blueprints from the drawer carefully and placing them side by side on the floor.
"This parts for you, Phantom." Inej whispered. Roving her eyes around the cavernous room as Malakai worked her magic creating perfect copies of the line work. Carefully, Inej rolled them up into a cylindrical container and slung it across her back.
"Okay, let's get out of here." The duo hastily heading back to the rope. Inej climbed first, Malakai watching her and holding the rope steady. As the Wraith neared the top, the lights burst back to life.
The voice of a guard echoed against the marble and glass. "The valve was turned off! I don't know how. Where's Lev? Find him!"
Looking back up to the dome, the Phantom signed quickly to Inej who peered through the window.
"Go. I'll find another way out."
Inej huffed in annoyance but pulled the rope up anyway, disappearing into the night.
The Phantom pulled her hands together slowly, melting herself into the shadow of a bookcase and crouching low to the floor. She eyed the guard from around the corner. He stood in the centre of the room in his neat coat and tall hat. Malakai scoffed at his halfhearted attempt at searching the room. He made it too easy. Walking out, he shut the gate behind him.
"Anything?"
"Nothing."
Malakai rushed forward, unsheathing her blade. Huffing when she realised the double lock system was outside of the gate, out of her reach. Then a whistle ricocheted off the high ceilings. Looking up to the dimly lit balcony, she grinned at the sight of the tanned boy.
"Move, Malakai." He urged her. As the clock chimed he pulled the trigger at the same time, the bullet clanging as it hit the lock. The girl raised her hand to her chin.
"Thank you, Jes."
Quickly slipping through the open gate into the grand foyer, she slows down seeing the dark coat of a guard. Approaching in perfect silence, Malakai slowly raised her hands, dark shadows creeping down from the ceiling. But right as she pulls her hands together, his cane cracks against the floor. The shadows retreat back into the corners.
"Saints, Kaz." Malakai muttered. She lowered her arms to her sides. Walking around to face him.
"Bit slow on the draw there."
He smirked down at her. "Or just in time."
Back at the tavern, the group split up moving to their own rooms to rest for the night. Inej and Jesper just across the hallway. Malakai pushed the window open, pulling herself onto the ledge. She pulled both knees to her chest, watching Kaz wash his hands in the basin. He met her eyes in the mirror as he pulled his gloves back on.
"I didn't think you would do what you did in the Fold today."
Breathing in, she moved her gaze out to the dark night. The breeze was cold against her cheeks, shaking the trees in the distance. Staring up at the sky, the stars shined like glitter against the oily sky. Ketterdam was far too foggy to see the stars but it had always calmed her to know that they were there. Tiny fires blazing in the dark for eternity.
How lonely.
"I didn't think I would either. But I meant it when I said I would do anything to protect us."
"You're stronger than you think, Kai. You're more than what you give yourself credit for."
"That's what scares me the most. I have no idea what I'm capable of." She breathed in shakily. "Kaz, you need to promise me... Promise me that if anything happens... If I do something bad, you'll run. Take Inej and Jesper home. Leave and don't look back."
He furrowed his eyebrows. "Malakai, I could never leave—"
"No, Kaz. Promise me you'll think about yourself for once. Promise me." She stared deep into his eyes. "Please."
Kaz Brekker couldn't make that promise. He would pull her from hell with his bare hands if he had to. He would wait for her, day and night, with his door wide open. She could gun him down until his heart pooled with blood and he would still crawl to her.
But Dirtyhands spoke for him. "I promise. But nothing bad will happen, Kai."
Kaz leaned against the window sill to scan her face. Pulling something out of his pocket, he held it out to her. Malakai's eyes softened when she saw the delicate, bright blue paper butterfly on his palm.
"The one I was looking at in Novokribirsk?" She reached out and took it in her own hands.
"You brought this all the way through the Fold?"
He watched her fingers delicately tracing the intricate designs on the paper. He answered her.
"It gave me another reason to get out of there alive."
She smiled, tilting her head. "Thank you, Kaz."
"Of course."
Breathing out a sigh and turning to look outside once more, she could've sworn the stars shined brighter this time.
"When we have the money, what will you do with it?"
Kaz kept his eyes on her. "Let me think about it longer. What will you do?"
"Cross the true sea. Travel the world. Go as far away from this place as I can." Malakai closed her eyes, imagining what could be, before speaking softly. "And settle down somewhere. Live on a farm maybe."
They both stayed quiet for a while, sitting comfortable with one another's presence. The moon was full. It glowed brightly using the sun's light.
The sun never asked for anything in return.
The silence was interrupted. "I'd buy a boat, the nicest Ketterdam has to offer." Malakai opened her eyes to meet his dark ones. "Then, wherever it lands, I would buy a house."
The girl smiled at this. "I like the sound of that."
That night they laid side by side. Malakai confined herself to the very edge of the bed in fear that her skin might graze his in the middle of the night. But, of course, the Bastard of the Barrel didn't sleep a wink. He laid on his side blinking slowly at her silhouette in the moonlight. Her blonde hair splayed out on the pillow. Her lips slightly parted. He could go blind right then and there and he wouldn't care, for she would be the last thing burned into his eyelids.
Kaz wanted more than anything to reach his hand out and trace the constellations on her cheeks until the universe stood impressed. He would pick up every broken piece and carry it for her for eternity. He would kneel at the feet of a Saint.
Author's Note
that last part both destroyed and filled my heart. oh, how i love Malakaz. they are so fucking cute i actually feel sick to my stomach. i hope to have a love like they do one day. and i hope you do too.
new update/s every night Australian Eastern Standard time!
hope you're all doing good and if not i hope that your pain will ease soon. this is a safe space. crows take care of one another. reach out.
love from valerie <3