A days passes, it's Tuesday, after school. No one ever asked to be Grom Queen. You were the only one. So you were training. You were thinking of how to tackle this situation.
You don't even wanna picture the wedding. Ugh.
How can you even defeat that situation when you don't even have a choice?
Is your fear even the wedding? I mean It's not something your scared of, well... it is, but it isn't. You don't want it to happen you know that. But does that mean your scared of it?
Yes, it has to. Your gonna be practically dragged down the isle. You don't want to walk down that isle.
So to defend yourself... do you just... let it happen?
Maybe Hunters right, you just need to accept the situation your in. There's no way out of it.
What's something else that scares you?
Wait that's it.
You aren't scared of being with Hunter. Hunters never forced you to be with him. Belos and mom have.
If they found out you were other Cedar, you didn't want this marriage. You would be dead. You wouldn't know what would happen. They've been planning this ever since you were a baby.
Would they throw you out? Where would you go?
You're not scared of the marriage, you can buff it out. Your scared of the possibility that they will find out that you don't want this marriage.
You know even throughout the marriage you will want out, you would definitely rebel, and if they found that out you would be dead.
How do you tackle that on?
You sigh.
You were going to hang out with Cedar and your friends today, but everyone's busy so you are unfortunately stuck at home.
You can't run from dinner tonight, you don't have an excuse. So you have to.
You sigh.
Hunter taps his fork against the table. Waiting for one of the guards to come in and say you aren't here. What is it even that you do? You've been skipping so much.
The doors open. He looks up.
"Hey." You say sitting down.
"Wow, you actually came." He says.
"Surprised?" You say.
"Yes actually." He says.
You start eating your food.
"I heard about what happened." He says.
You stop chewing and look up at him.
"You offered to take someone's place as Grom Queen." He says.
"How do you know about that?" You ask, crossing your arms.
"I found out last night. I was in the shop center, trying to find a wild witch on the loose, and I heard some hexside students talking about you." He says.
"Oh." You say, leaning against your seat.
"That surprised me, that's the last thing I'd expect from you, your usually so careless." He says.
"That's around you, not others." You say.
"Fair." He says.
"Why did you want to take it?" He asks.
"She was struggling. She's not the right person to be dealing with that, so I wanted to relieve the stress." You say.
"What was her fear?" He asks.
"Her family, being in danger." You say.
"Ah." He nods.
"And yours?" He asks.
"I don't know." You say.
"You dont know?" He says.
"That's why i chose it, because I don't know, maybe I'm just not scared of anything." You say.
"Nah, you're definitely scared of something." He says.
"It's probably me isn't it?" He says.
"No." You say.
"Your easy to deal with, your just annoying but I'm able to tolerate you." You say.
"Hah." He chuckles.
"I honestly think that wasn't a good idea. If you don't know what your scared of, you don't know what your dealing with, you can't think of the possible actions to fight your fear." He says.
"You're literally going in without a plan." He shrugs.
"I don't know what to tell you." You sigh.
"What's your fear?" He asks.
"You bothering me about what my fear is." You say.
"I just wanna help." He sighs.
"Well I'm fine." You say.
"People have died from this. Y/n." He says.
"I know." You say.
"I'm trying to help you not die." He says.
You rub your head and scoot forward.
"Isn't this good for you? If I die you won't have to deal with me and how annoying I am." You say.
"Y/n, im not a monster." He glares.
"What, im just saying." You say.
"I don't want you dead." He says.
"Why?" You ask.
"Because I don't wish death upon people who did nothing wrong. Yeah you can be a pain sometimes, but it's normal. You never did something terrible to make me want to wish death on you." He says.
"Mr morally obligated again." You say.
"Oh my Titan, you need to stop with that." He says.
"Okay, okay." You say.
"Tell me what your scared of." He says.
"I don't know." You say.
"Okay, let's start with something small, what's a small kind of thing your scared of?" He asks
"Bugs." You say.
"Ok and how can you defeat bugs?" He says.
"Stepping on them." You say.
"Okay sure." He shrugs.
"Anything else?" He asks.
"No." You say.
"Come on, what is it that your really scared of? Scary movies? Murderers? Drowning?" He says.
"I mean yeah those are scary, but it's not something I constantly dread." You say.
"You don't have the slightest clue of what your scared of?" He asks.
"No." You say.
"What do you just not wanna tell me?" He says.
"Why should I tell you, it's none of your business." You sigh.
He sighs and looks away.
"I'm afraid of failure." He says, looking away.
You tilt your head.
"Failure in what?" You say.
"Not doing a mission correctly, making Belos dissaprove of me." He says.
"How come." You ask.
"Because you never know what he's thinking what he's plotting and you certainly don't want to find out." He says.
"I mean he's been disappointed in me before and it didn't end well." He says pointing at his scar.
"If he throws me out, i have no purpose. I have no meaning." Hunter shrugs.
"Oh." You say.
"That is if he decides to throw me out or kill me." He says.
"And if he kills me, it means the same. I had no purpose, I had no meaning." He says.
"I didn't know you thought like that." You said.
"Suprise." He scoffs.
"You aren't ever scared of failing?" He asks.
"I'm sure if I do I can figure it out." You say.
"That's what's so lucky about you. If you fail, you have a plan. You have people you can turn to, you have friends. You have a 2nd option." He says.
"I wish I had that." He looks away.
"You have m-" You stop yourself.
...
You weren't about to say that. Were you?
...
"What?" He asks.
"Nothing." You clench your fists.
"Why are you opening up?" You ask.
"I trust you." He says.
"I know you say things, but I know you aren't a monster. You don't want me to die either." He says.
"You clearly proved that when you healed the bite wound." He says.
"I know that you won't do anything with this information I'm giving you because you aren't that mean." He says.
"If you told on me, I'd get thrown out, I'd get punished." He says.
You blink.
"But you aren't like that." He says.
"I mean, you obviously have a kind heart in the first place for offering to be Grom Queen." He shrugs.
"You may not act like that with me, and it's fine. But that's evidence I can trust you, because you care about people. Even if you don't show it." He says.
You clench your fists and look down.
"... I hope you can trust me." He says.
"I'm scared of the future." You say.
He looks up at you.
"I'm scared about... us." You admit.
"Not specifically being with you, but. I'm scared of not having my freedom." You say.
He rests his chin on his hand.
"And it's not because of you it's because of my mom, and your uncle. They're making us." You say.
"That's why I didnt want to tell you, because there's no solution for that is there?" You say.
"I Guess my solution is.. just, manning it out, but I'll be unhappy." You say.
"So is that really a way to win?" You ask.
"That is kind of difficult to think about isn't it?" He says.
"I'm kind of stuck on advice myself." He says.
"I mean, I think it's nice that you value that, your freedom. Because I don't really know what freedom is for me." He says.
"I don't have something I really want to do, I just do what I'm told because thats all I've known." He says.
"I don't have something that I know would be classified as freedom for me." He says.
"You could try to find it." You say.
"And get killed for finding that freedom? That's a risk I can't take." He says.
You look down.
"There's nothing you really want to do?" You say.
"No." He says.
"Hm." You say.
"I Guess your right, maybe your only solution is manning the situation out, because there's nothing else really possible." He says.
You blink.
"I need to file out my next missions for tomorrow." He says standing up.
"It was nice for you to actually show up." He nods.
"And thank you. For trusting me with all that." He says.
He looked like he was trying to refrain himself from smiling. This is so weird. It's weird how he's accepting of this and it's weird how he's being nice to you now.
He told you you had a kind heart and that you care about people. You don't know if that made you mad at him, or if you felt something else. You felt something when he said that and you don't like whatever it is.
You blush.
"Ugh." You try shaking it off. You pick up your plate and put it away.