January 8th 2023
Dallas, Texas
3:24 pm
Amina turned around after locking the door to her townhouse, her head moved from left to right as she browsed the parking lot, searching for Chalyn's car. After a short beep, she noticed her friend's vehicle. A few steps later she approached the car and hopped in. "You look pretty." Chalyn enthusiastically announced. Amina could easily spot a change for the better in Chalyn's mood, which made her happy as well.
"That's all you." Amina replied as she fastened her seatbelt. The girls were heading to their much needed nail date, knowing them, they'd probably have lunch after too. "You look good—how you feeling?" Amina questioned as she put her attention on her friend. Chalyn was still sporting her same up half up half down, which put a lot of attention on the vvs diamonds that danced on her ears. She was dressed comfortably in a gray velour sweatsuit and a pair of low moon boots on her feet.
"I'm good." Chalyn assuringly nodded her head, "I'm really loving single Chalyn..its like I'm falling in love with myself all over again." She added, causing Amina to smile.
"Have the geriatric patient been messing with you?" Amina raised her eyebrow, gaining a laugh from Chalyn. "Girl no, I put his name in the freezer, so I doubt he'll be trying me anytime soon."
Amina raised her eyebrow in confusion, "His name in the freezer?" She questioned, Chalyn casually nodded her head yes. "When you submerge somebody's name in water and then freeze it, it stops them in their tracks and stops them from messing with you." Chalyn explained.
"Oh wow...I never knew that—it makes a lot of sense though." Amina replied as she rubbed a coat of lipgloss on her lips. Chalyn arrived a little earlier than expected, so Amina threw her lipgloss into her purse and hauled herself out the door with plans of putting her gloss on in the car.
"Yeah, my grandma taught it to me. She was real big on that kinda stuff when I was younger—she learned it from her mother when she was a little girl in New Orleans." Chalyn explained, Amina nodded her head. She was familiar with what hoodoo was, but never took interest in practicing.
"Well as long as it keeps his old ass away." Amina replied, Chalyn chuckled before letting out a yawn. "I barely got any sleep last night." She spoke.
"Why?" Amina questioned, she reached over into the cup holder and helped herself to the touchland hand sanitizer that was sitting there. She sprayed one of her hands before rubbing them together to distribute the sanitizing mist. "I've been watching this lil poly relationship on TikTok live—it's such a damn mess, but I'm so intrigued."
"I always scroll right past they ass, I've probably only watched a little bit of one live—the nigga is just so lame to me." Amina replied. "He is, it's funny to see the people they add eat they ass up though." Chalyn spoke as she snagged a parking space. Amina sat her purse on her shoulder before hopping out of the car, the girls walked side by side as they traveled into the nail shop, which was very empty. There was only 3 other customers and they were all getting pedicures. Amina's usual tech greeted her and instructed her to sit where her supplies were. Amina sat in the rolling chair and hung her purse on the purse hook that was attached to the table.
"Which one?" Chalyn questioned as she moved her phone closer to Amina, she had a collage of two nail sets. One were basic nude nails with nails gems grouped together in the shape of a flower, the other design was simple French tips with a baby pink base. "The first one." Amina answered. Chalyn always opted for frenchies, so she wanted her friend to step out the box.
"And did you choose where you're going for your birthday?" Amina questioned. She needed to know now before she opened her February books, and she also wanted to know since her birthday was so close to Rashad's. The thought of him quickly reminded her that they weren't speaking. She let out a slight sigh as her mood took a dip. Amina wondered if he was thinking about her as well, or was he balls deep in another bitch—making them cum on demand, the idea of that made her mouth fall into a deep scowl.
"Amina." Chalyn called out, snapping her out of her daze. Chalyn held a concerned look on her face which lead Amina to believe that she'd been zoned out for a while. "You straight?" Chalyn questioned, Amina nodded her head yes.
"You was looking like you was bout to swing on Thuy or something." Chalyn chuckled, Amina did the same. Thuy offered them glasses of champagne, which they both said yes to. Soon, she handed them each a wine glass quarterly filled of Stella Rose before she started on Amina's nails. "I was telling you I don't know where I wanna go for my birthday, I think it's too late to pick a destination." Chalyn explained.
"We can do something in the city, that'll give you enough time to actually choose a destination." Amina suggested. "Yeah...that seems like my best bet." Chalyn replied. Amina used her free hand to grab her wine glass and take a swig.
"Matter of fact, I'll plan out the whole weekend." Amina voiced with a smile on her face, "Really?" Chalyn's face lit up, Amina nodded her head yes.
"Okayyy." Chalyn replied in a sing song voice, "I'm excited." She added.
"All you gotta do is show up and look pretty." Amina announced, "This good?" Her nail tech questioned after cutting one nail. Amina brought her hand closer to her face to examine the length, she nodded her head yes as she laid her arm back down.
"How you think I should do my hair?" Chalyn questioned, Amina pursed her lips together and slightly looked up as she thought about it. "30 inches for sure...bone straight, middle part." She answered.
"I was thinking either that or some color—I just don't wanna look back and regret the color though." Chalyn spoke. "I know the 30 inch buss down would eat on you Cha." Amina spoke.
"It would." Chalyn slowly nodded her head as if she was picturing herself with it. The girls continued to talk as they received their services. Their conversation was the only thing that could be heard in the shop, besides the TV that was playing relaxing spa music. They weren't super loud, which they were sure everyone appreciated.
January 9th 2023
Dallas, Texas
10:45 pm
Amina sat in her car, scrolling through Twitter as she went back and forth deciding on if she wanted to go inside of this kickback or not. With small thought, she chose to come, but now that she was there, she didn't know if she actually wanted to go inside. Not knowing anyone besides Ro was turning her off, but she was already there and figured it wouldn't hurt to show her face for the sake of her new friend.
Amina let out a small sigh as she grabbed her keys and hopped out the car, she closed the door behind her and made sure her vehicle was locked before making her way across the street. She was surprised at how nice the neighborhood was, where she was from kickbacks took place in a small ass house that was probably a bando now that she thought about it.
Once Amina approached the door she gave it a few knocks before stepping back. While observing in front of her, she realized there was a doorbell and she probably didn't have to knock. In the midst of reaching for the doorbell, the door swiftly swung open, revealing Pharaoh. "Oh shit, I ain't think you was coming." Ro announced as he stepped aside to let her in.
"Well, I'm here now." Amina chuckled as she followed him. The house was filled with people, she couldn't recall passing by anyone who didn't have a red solo cup in their hand. The music was loud, but that was expected. Heyy by Lil Baby was the song of choice. Amina's head was on a slight swivel as she looked around the house. She figured the house had to belong to someone older due to the decorations, nobody their age was gonna have infused vegetable glass bottles in their home. Seeing them placed around honestly took her back to the early 2000's. All of her upper middle class friends had the decoration in their homes. "You want something to drink?" Ro questioned as they stopped by the kitchen.
"Yeah—as long as it's not alcoholic." Amina replied. She already had it made in her mind that she wasn't gonna drink. "This your house?" Amina questioned, eagerly wanting to know.
"Fuck no—I'd never have this many niggas in my shit. It's an Airbnb." Ro answered. Amina watched as he filled a red solo cup with fruit punch that appeared to be homemade, right next to it was another drink dispenser with fruit punch labeled "rum punch".
"But don't be shy, everybody cool." Ro spoke as he handed Amina the plastic cup. Instead of replying, Amina nodded her head. "Ro—the owner of the house just pulled up, he say he needa talk to you." A man announced as he peeked his head into the kitchen.
"Shit." Ro fussed, "Hold on for me right quick, I'll be back." He added, Amina nodded her head as she watched him flee the kitchen. After awkwardly standing in the kitchen for a few seconds, she decided to go sit in the living room that they passed on the way to the kitchen. It was just Amina's luck that there was an empty seat on the couch, right next to a girl who was sitting down slowly sipping her drink. Amina sat down and continued to look around while taking sips of the punch. She furrowed her eyebrows and doubled back to where her eyes left, assuming she was hallucinating.
Amina damn near started choking was she realized her eyes weren't deceiving her, there Rashad was in the flesh, staring back at her. Amina quickly fixed her eyes elsewhere as her body started to run hot. He don't even like parties, Amina thought to herself as she scoffed. And on top of that, he didn't have many friends, so who invited him? To ease her anxiety, Amina decided to put her attention on her phone. She'd occasionally covertly look up to see what Rashad was doing. From what she could see, he was engaging in conversation with a small group of people, while casually sipping his drink.
"My fault Mina—you good?" Ro questioned as he approached her, causing her to look up from her phone's screen. " I should be asking you." Amina lightly chuckled.
"Oh yeah, I'm good. The owner showed up on some mad shit, but ain't nothing a lil pocket change can't solve." Ro explained. Once the girl beside her got up, Ro filled the seat and the two began to talk. Although the two had been acquainted for a small amount of time, Amina deemed him as cool. He had a chill homeboy vibe and she could tell he didn't look at her romantically.
"You sure you don't wanna walk around and meet new people?" Ro questioned, "I will...just let me finish my drink first." Amina replied, Ro nodded his head.
"Alright—imma come back and check on you in a lil bit, don't dry ass baby sit that drink." He joked, causing Amina to chuckle. Once he got up, she grabbed her phone and fixed her focus to her phone. Seeing an iMessage notification from Rashad sent a spark through her body, following by her heartbeat increasing. Amina quickly unlocked her phone so she could see the message.
Rashad
You leaving with me.
No
Rashad
I'm not asking.
Amina locked her phone and pursed her lips together, attempting to hide the smile that was sneaking upon her face. She downed the tiny amount of punch before sitting the cup on the coffee table and getting up. Amina carefully squeezed through the crowd, whilst making her way to the door. She pushed through the door and headed for her car. The footsteps behind her sent chills through her body and painted a smile on her face, just to be sure that it was who she thought it was, she turned around to face him.
"You don't even like parties." Amina broke the silence, "You don't either." Rashad replied. The smell of alcohol on his breath traveled right on over to Amina's nose, causing her make her face up.
"And why do I smell alcohol on your breath? You don't drink." She scoffed, "I just had a sip—relax, you know I'd never get fucked up." He assured.
Amina folded her arms as she watched him come closer to her, without saying anything, Rashad pulled her into a hug. They shared a warm embrace, making up for the days that they weren't speaking. "I hope you not looking at me different." Rashad mumbled as he held her tighter.
Amina sighed as she pulled away, "I'm not...I've known that was you since I met you. I can't be upset when you being you saved my life." She replied, using her hand to gently stroke his goatee. "Even if that wasn't me, I still woulda handled that for you." Rashad replied.
"But I'm saying though Mi, that situation was different—it was self defense. That other shit was work." He added. "I know...you're just so much better than that Rashad, you don't have to do none of this street shit." Amina preached. She could tell he was listening, but he wasn't retaining her speech. Amina heightened herself up by slightly standing on her tippy toes to plant a kiss on his lips.
"You done being mean to me?" He questioned as wrapped his arms around her again, "You was being mean to me too—you ain't reach out the whole week." Amina replied.
"I thought you was gon' tell me you ain't fuck with me no more and I couldn't stomach that shit...I-I love you Amina." Rashad spoke, the last part made her eyes widen. It seemed as if Rashad confessing his love for her happened on cue, because suddenly it began to rain. The rain started out slowly but quickly began to pick up, causing large droplets of water to fall upon them. "I love you too." Amina announced, they both slowly leaned in and let their lips collide into each other's. The rain poured down on them harder and harder as the kiss progressed, but they didn't care.
January 10th 2023
Dallas, Texas
1:39 am
Amina cut the shower off before pushing open the glass door and reaching for the large body towel Rashad gave her. She dried her body off about 80% percent before slipping on the Chrome Hearts shirt Rashad left out for her to sleep in. Thankfully for her, she always kept a pair of spare underwear in her purse, so she slipped those on as well.
Amina scanned the bathroom counter for a lotion, he had multiple, which made the decision a bit hard. They were all manly scents too, and as much as she loved the way he smelled, she didn't wanna smell like a 28 year old man. Finally, Amina settled on the pink baby lotion that was on its way to being finished. Once her body was moisturized, she stepped out the bathroom and exited Rashad's room as a whole. "Definitely keeping this shirt." Amina announced as she walked down the spiral staircase.
She caught a glimpse of Rashad sitting down on the couch without the TV on, the only constant sound in the room was rain that hit the windows in a forceful manner. Amina approached the couch and laid down in a way where she was facing him and her head was on his lap. She watched as he stared blankly in front of him, as if a lot was on his mind and he was sorting through it. "I wanna promise you that I won't do it again—but I can't." He announced, breaking the silence. Although there wasn't much detail in the statement, Amina knew exactly what he was talking about.
"But you can though." Amina replied above a whisper, Rashad shook his head no. "I remember my first time doing that shit...I went through the worst depression after because I knew God wouldn't forgive me. He made the life and I took it...who the fuck am I to take a life that he made?" Rashad spoke.
"I know I'm talking like I'm a serial killer or some shit, but I don't—man...that shit changes you, I'll never forget the way that nigga eyes rolled to the back of his head—me being a young nigga and all, I stayed and watched...I watched him take his last breath." He added, Amina reached up and began to softly rub his chest. She never thought she'd have so much compassion for a killer, but she did. Come to think about it, this was the most vulnerable she'd ever seen him. Amina could sense the contrition in his voice, yet the fact that he was one with what he'd done.
"So why don't you stop? You can still be a connect without killing." Amina hopefully spoke. "That's like being a hairstylist with no credentials—ain't nobody taking you serious." Rashad elucidated.
"I know fuckin with me go against ya whole lil movement." Rashad lightly chuckled as he placed his hand on her hip. "But that's not solely you Rashad...do I like it? No. But I love you, and I accept you for who you are...flaws and all." Amina replied.
She stood up and extended her hand for him to grab, once he grabbed it, Amina lead him up the stairs and into his bedroom. They both slid into the bed, but this time things were different. Instead of Amina laying on Rashad's chest, Rashad was laying on Amina's. The combination of the rain sounding against the window and the air conditioning in the silent room was on route to put them both to sleep.
January 10th 2023
Dallas, Texas
11:32 am
Amina draped the strap to her crossbody bag over her body before stepping out of her bedroom, she laid eyes on Rashad who was rummaging through her fridge. Once he heard her footsteps, he turned around. "Why you ain't no groceries mama?" He questioned. Normally, being called mama in an endearing way would gross her out, but Rashad's accent made it sound 100% times better.
Amina shrugged, "I guess I haven't fit grocery shopping into my schedule." She replied. Rashad grabbed a water bottle before closing the fridge. "Well we gotta fix that today, and if you can fit Sephora in your schedule a million times a week, you can stop and get groceries." He spoke.
"You right." Amina chuckled, "I got somewhere I wanna take you though." She added as she neared him. Rashad nodded his head, fully on board with the plan. This surprised Amina, she expected some kind of querying, but didn't receive any.
"And I'll get you something to eat since I don't have any groceries." Amina chuckled, Rashad did the same as he pulled her closer. "You ain't gotta get me nothing—what I wanna eat is right in front of me." He spoke before kissing her neck, Amina smiled as she sat her arms on his shoulders. She pecked his lips a few times before pulling away and walking over to her full length mirror to snap a few pictures of herself. She was dressed in a brown fear of God hoodie, a camouflage mini skirt, and on her feet were a pair of green pony hair Rick Owens boots.
"Come on—you get to be a passenger princess today." Amina teased, "Fuck outta here." Rashad replied as he slid behind her, "Take a picture of us." He added while wrapping his arms around her waist and sitting his head on her shoulder.
"Really?" Amina questioned with a slight nervous chuckle, this was different for her. "Yeah, come on." Rashad replied. Amina smiled as she snapped the pictures. After that, they left the townhouse and hopped into Amina's Audi. Once Amina began to drive she became a ball of nerves about their destination, more so for her sake and not Rashad's.
"You know what I been craving?" Amina randomly questioned, catching Rashad's attention. "What?" He questioned back.
"A chopped cheese...I watched the man make ours and I really feel like I can make it." Amina explained, "I feel like you can too. Sazon, adobo, cheese and ground beef—don't sound too hard." Rashad replied.
"Imma make them tonight...you gotta give me your true honest New Yorker opinion." Amina lightly chuckled, causing Rashad to do the same. "I got you." He replied. The duo continued to make small talk as they continued their journey. Amina was so wrapped up in her anxiety, it slipped her mind to play any music. Their patter did the job by filling in the place of music. About 20 minutes later, they made it across town, somewhere Amina hadn't been in years.
"Remember that talk we had on the tram?" Amina asked, Rashad nodded his head. "Well I'm ready...this is where I grew up." She announced. The neighborhood looked even worse than when she left, she could admit that flushing it out of her memory did some good, because she barely noticed anything. If it wasn't for the street signs, she wouldn't know where she was.
"It's crazy cause the hood in the south and up north is so different—this shit look decent to me, niggas got front lawns and shit." Rashad spoke as he looked out the window. "Ain't shit decent about over here." Amina lightly chuckled. It honestly made her stomach turn to not see any progression in the community, she quickly remembered that this neighborhood had a certain reputation before she was alive, and would probably continue to carry it out.
"Did your moms stay over here too?" Rashad questioned, Amina subtly shook her head no. "We lived in a lot of places honestly...after her diagnosis she got super depressed and barely went to work, she couldn't hold down a job for longer than a couple months, so our living situation changed a lot—we were living in Garland when she passed though." Amina explained.
"Ou!" Amina exclaimed, catching Rashad's attention. "Those are the apartments where the lady that braided my hair stayed in." Amina explained. "She still live there?" Rashad asked.
"I'm not sure...after we moved I never heard from her again." Amina answered, "These potholes still a bitch." She thought out loud.
"I went to that elementary school—James Hogg." Amina smiled at the memories of being a little girl. She wasn't sure if she reminisced about her adolescence a lot because of the memories, or if she attached that age to having her mother around. "I'm guessing you went to SOC." Rashad spoke, instantly causing Amina's smile to drop.
"What the hell you know about SOC?" She raised her eyebrow. Rashad chuckled, "Chill—I bet on the football team sometimes." He explained.
"Oh, yeah, the football team always been cold." Amina replied as she continued to drive, "I appreciate this Mi, foreal." Rashad randomly announced.
Amina furrowed her eyebrows together before questioning, "Appreciate what?" Her attention was fixed on not letting the deep potholes fuck up her car. "You showing me where you from...especially with the feelings you were holding against the neighborhood. Rashad replied.
"What did coming back do for you? How you feelin?" Rashad asked, Amina let out a deep sigh as she thought about it. "Proud of myself...very, very proud and thankful that I didn't let my sad circumstances turn me into a sad story." Amina spoke. She could feel herself getting emotional with every word, she realized how much good coming back did for her mentally. She couldn't say when she'd be back, so she'd let time tell.