(iv. NEVER HAPPEN)
JUNE 29TH 2017
Turning thirteen years old was an important day.
At least that was what Dad told me. Today, my friend Eleanor and I would prove our worth to the Academy. With our tests, and and talents already tested, we were waiting on Dr. Roberts and the rest of the board to tell us if we got in.
If I did qualify, I would finally be part of the Toma Team.
To celebrate, Eleanor dragged me to a frat party. I was out of my element here, smelling the strong stench of alcohol, sweaty swaying, grinding bodies bumping into me as they drunkenly laughed and continued to make out with the people by their sides.
Heck, I was only thirteen. Eleanor was fifteen, and I knew if our parents caught us here, we would never see the light of day again.
I didn't belong here. Not at all.
But I would suck it up and paste on a fake smile. Because Eleanor had been talking about this party for weeks, and trying to be a good friend, I followed her. I didn't want anyone to try to take advantage of her.
She couldn't protect herself the way I could.
Seeing her tall, slim body sway in sync with the tall, dark haired man in front of her, I sighed. I wished I was back at home or with Soo-Min and her older brother, Koo.
"Hey," a deep voice purred, pulling me from my thoughts. I flinched back into the wall and looked over. Recoiling, I backed away from the sweaty man leering at me. Crossing my arms self-consciously around my body, I curled into myself.
"Sorry." I mumbled, searching for Eleanor. Seeing her wrapped up in whoever-his-name-was' arms, I rolled my eyes tiredly. I didn't know what she seen in Ray. But according to Soo-Min, I didn't find any boy handsome except for her older brother. Knowing it was true, I blushed and changed the subject.
Koo was handsome...very, very, very, very handsome. And smart. And perfect. And muscular. And...just absolutely divine. Uh...you get the point.
It was just past twelve and once I got home, I was minced meat once Mom and Dad got a hold of me.
They trusted me to be home at a decent hour, and I was stomping all over their trust just to be a good friend.
Pushing past people in the dance floor, I peeked up at Eleanor. Seeing me, her soil-colored eyes rolled back into her head, annoyed. Flicking her dark brown hair behind her shoulder, she pursed her lips.
"What?" She spit, annoyed. I tried my best to smile but being surrounded by so many people made me terrified and anxious. "We have to get home, Elea." I said softly, yet my voice was loud enough to hear. Jacking up her tube top, Eleanor looked behind her shoulder at the man she was dancing with.
"Can you just wait?" She asked, thoroughly annoyed.
"I-I can't, Elea." I shook my head, feeling suffocated. Feeling myself start to breathe more rapidly, I tried my best to smile. "I-I have to get home. My parents will be really mad."
It was getting harder to speak.
I needed to get out of here.
Was I having a panic attack?
"Just go without me." She shrugged, uncaring about my building panic. I closed my eyes tightly, feeling faint. "Please, Elea. Your parents are going to worry, and I can't leave you by yourself." Why did I always have to be the levelheaded one between us? She was older than me by two years, for god's sake.
"Just take the kid away, baby." Ray snorted, looking at me with an amused smile. "She doesn't belong here with us," He whispered into her ear, placing a kiss on her neck afterwards. Cringing in disgust, I swallowed and looked back up to my friend.
Please, Elea.
"Fucking hell." She hissed, grasping my arm tightly in her hand. "Come on, you baby." She dragged me through the crowd and out the door as I followed after her willingly. Once we got outside, I breathed in the cool night air, feeling myself relaxing, my panic level lowering.
"Thanks, Elea." I swallowed, gulping. Elea didn't smile. She only glared darkly down at me, rolling her eyes. "Let's just go home. It's a block away to the bus." She said, starting to walk away.
Tripping over my feet, I stumbled while trying to keep up with her long strides. "I'm sorry, Elea. I just...I didn't like it there." I had tried my best, but for five hours, I had been trapped inside the place. I had made sure she had plenty of time to hang out and talk with her other friends.
I wondered why or how she was friends with college students when she was only a sophomore.
Eleanor pulled me down a dark alleyway, trusting her, despite feeling shivers race down my spine, I followed her. "Ray told me about this shortcut." Elea said, heels clicking on the pavement. "We should get to the bus stop—" She was cut off by three figures stepping in front of us. Freezing, my eyes widened in complete fear as the moonlight glinted off the long blade the biggest man held in his hands.
"What do we have here?" The ugly middle-aged man cooed, gently playing with the blade. I slowly moved my body in front of Elea's shaking body and tried to stay strong as my hands fumbled with my phone behind my back.
I had no weapon to protect us.
I couldn't take on three at once.
But I would try.
"Please," I whispered, praying that I would hit the right contact as my hands fumbled on my phone screen. "Just let us pass."
The three men, more than likely muggers, laughed loudly. "Like we haven't heard that before," the second man leered, eyeing my body up and down in a way that made me shake. Fingers hitting the call button, I stood taller, praying they wouldn't hear the ringing sound.
Please, Dad. Answer.
Eleanor's body trembled violently behind me, with my free hand, I patted her hand. I was just as terrified as she was.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Eleanor hissed as the man raised the knife higher in his hands. "Throw everything you have to the ground." He ordered; lips curled into a wicked snarl. Stuffing my phone inside the back of my pants, I heard the phone pick up. Sighing in relief, I slowly placed the one-hundred-dollar bill Dad gave me on the ground after emptying out my pockets.
Once the huge man leaned down, I took my chance and kicked him across the face as hard as I could as the other two lunged for me, grasping me tightly. Screaming loudly, I kicked and struggled but I wasn't strong enough to get out of their hold.
"Fuckin' bitch!" The huge man hissed, cradling his broken nose, grasping the knife in his fist as he stood to his feet. Eleanor was frozen, eyes flashing in fear as she watched the scene unfold before her eyes. Shaking, she slowly backed away as he reared his arm back and plunged the blade into my abdomen.
Screaming and yelling in pain as a burning pain shot throughout my body, the knife plunged into my body. I slumped back as warm crimson blood stained my pink shirt, in shock, I only whimpered in pain.
Help me, Elea.
It hurt.
"Finish her off, Bo." The others urged, "We can't let her tell anyone of what she saw."
He ripped the blade out of me as I screamed against the hand that was clasped tightly across my mouth. Pulling back his arm once more, he prepared to stab me once more. Eleanor screamed loudly; eyes widened in complete horror.
Using the last bit of my strength, I bit down on the hand that was across my mouth – spitting after I released his hand.
"Elea! Help me!" I screamed, crying hysterically as I watched her turn around and run, without looking back. "Please!" I cried, feeling my heart crack as she never once looked back as the knife plunged back into my abdomen.
He cut into my body three more times before throwing my body down on the ground. "Fuck! L-Let's go. She's dying" The coward of the group squeaked, the three watched my blood pool around me as I gasped for beath weakly – feeling my limbs grow heavy. Turning their backs towards me, they ran away. I only grunted as blood trailed off my lips hearing Dad's screams from my phone.
Elea, why?
PRESENT TIME
My body arched off the bed as I fought for breath.
Groaning, I patted my face.
"Great, another one of these stupid, fucking memories." I muttered, flopping back. Slowly, my hands drifted underneath my shirt to feel the five scars that littered my abdomen, the day after tomorrow would be the day the attack happened and I still got nightmares of that day. After I had been in surgery and healed – they had said it was a miracle that nothing was permanently damaged.
5: 35 AM
"Mhm, fuck that." I shook my head, eyes closed tiredly. I had another long day of surveying to do later, I was going to get a couple more hours of sleep before I had to live through yet another boring ass day. Five minutes later, after pushing the memories of that night away, I fell asleep.
Only to relive another terrible memory.
FOUR MONTHS AGO
"I don't know what your fucking problem is with her, but it better stop." Jungkook snapped after following me into Soo-Min's room. I had left the room as soon as Eleanor entered the house, holding onto Jungkook's hand tightly. My heart dropped into my stomach, and I left when she smiled widely at me, as if she had never done anything wrong. I only turned around and marched into Soo-Min's room without replying.
Maybe it was rude, but I didn't care. I just needed to be away from her.
Now, sitting on Soo-Min's bed, arms wrapped around my knees, I only looked up at him tiredly. "You wouldn't understand, Koo." I spoke quietly, calling him by the nickname I always had. "I—I just know what kind of person she is."
The kind that leaves people to die.
Lowering my head, at hearing his scoff. I watched his chunky black combat boots move as he walked. Now standing in front of me, he spoke, "Why can't you just be happy for me?" He sounded angry. I had no doubt he was pulling at his hair in frustration.
"Is it because you're jealous? Because..." my heart dropped, closing my eyes tightly as his next words pierced my heart, "you and I will never happen, Charlotte." Tears brimmed in my eyes. He sounded so cold and cruel. Like he wanted to hurt me.
Charlotte? He never called me Charlotte.
Don't cry, Charli. Please don't cry.
With my head still lowered, I forced my voice not to crack as I replied.
"It's not that – I am happy for you." And I was. If he was happy, I would be happy. Even if his happiness was with someone else. But why did it have to be her? "But Kook, you don't know her—"
"And you do?" His voice was still cold, uncaring. My heart slowly broke as I realized nothing would be the same after this. "I do." I snapped back, "I known her my entire life." I looked back up into his cold eyes, none of the warmth he once held for me was there. "I know how she is."
"Then tell me." He said, a humorless chuckle, glaring down at me. Opening my mouth, the words didn't seem to come out as the door opened and Eleanor stepped through.
Faking a sweet smile in my direction, Eleanor pulled Jungkook away from me. "It's okay, Jungkook." She cooed, placing her head on his chest while her arms hugged him. Melting into her, he pulled her close.
Soo-Min stepped inside the room to see the entire spectacle and witnessed my heart breaking completely in front of her. Crossing the room and taking a seat beside me, she threaded her hand through mine and gave me a comforting squeeze as I fought back tears seeing Eleanor smile mockingly at me.
Clenching my hands, I fought the urge to shrink away from Jungkook's death glare.
Wanting to hurt me even more, Jungkook said something that I never thought he would ever say.
"If you can't accept her in my life, Charlotte. Them I can't accept you in mine."
With those words, he walked out the door, Eleanor clinging to his side as he slammed the door shut. A sob left my lips, finally feeling comfortable enough to release my emotions.
"Fuck." Soo-Min gasped, pulling me into her arms as I broke down. I clung to her as my chest ached. "It'll be okay, Charli. Shh..."
Shaking my head in denial, nothing would ever be okay again.
a/n
ENJOY!
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