Eating lunch in your car the following day was just... Sad. And weird. And definitely lonely. Especially with Brenda still out sick, but it absolutely beat sitting with either of the groups you weren't wanted in. The bread in your sandwich tasted dull and the meal itself was poorly made. You had to make it yourself with mom gone and, well.. You weren't exactly known for your culinary talents.
But still. You didn't miss her. The threatening aura, like a shark smelling blood, was impossible to miss with her not being around. At least that particular weight was lifted from your shoulders at home.
But Jason seemed to be getting worse, meaner. Popularity had gotten to his head big time.
He was the least of your worries right now though with the plans tonight to spend with Eddie at his dorky Hellfire club. Prisons and pheasants? Bars and swords? God, you couldn't even remember the name of the game they all obsessed over.
It wasn't expected to be a fun evening, but you tried your best to remain hopeful since at the very least it showed you put effort into learning more about Eddie and what he enjoyed. You wanted to enjoy it; for it to surprise you and end up being a new hobby of yours. It just didn't feel like that would happen. At all. You felt entirely dejected and miserable, leaning forward to rest your forehead on the steering wheel of your car.
If you switched the engine on right now, you could drive home and miss the rest of today, feigning sickness to get out of this evening. Gareth and his little buddies would love that, you were sure.
Good thing you didn't care what Gareth and his little buddies loved. You were in this for Eddie. Wanting to learn more about this game and its complexities if only to make him know you were interested in more than the sexual desire he seemed to instill in you.
So, you go. Donning a baby blue sweater to shield against the cold and white jeans, hair up to keep it out of your face and a fresh coat of gloss on your lips.
They're all sat as you return to the room you'd passed before when you spied on them playing. It's dimly lit and you know it's deliberate to set the mood. All seats were taken - a recurring theme, you started to notice.
Dustin smiles as you enter, waving sweetly at you which softens the hardened organ in your chest a little. You expected the worst, but were strangely grateful of his presence. Two of them liking you was better than just Eddie. "There's my girl." The man himself preens as you enter, slumping back in his wooden throne with books propped up around him.
You manage a small smile and a general wave, even going so far as to mumbling a quick hello. You're met with grunts of greeting and eyes following you as you move to find a seat to pull up. There was one at the other end of the table to Eddie, next to Nancy Wheeler's little brother.
No. That wouldn't do.
"Where were we?" Jeff huffs.
"You guys started already?" You raise a brow at Eddie, who has the decency to look a little flushed in his shame. You'd thought you were early as it was, showing up five minutes before Eddie had told you was the time they usually started. Evidently not.
"Sorry, sweetheart. Hard to keep the guys waiting." A nonchalant shrug, as if that made it all okay. It was like missing cheer practice all over again. He goes back to the campaign, slipping quickly into the role of dungeon master and the others hang on his every word, ignoring the crestfallen expression on your face for once again being left out.
Until you get back at them for starting without you by making sure the feet of the metal chair legs scrape loudly against the floor as you drag it to the other end of the table.
Glares cling to you, but you don't care. Dustin snickers under his breath and Eddie's lips twitch with stifled amusement as he watches your every move, words paused until you're done. You set the seat right next to Eddie, plopping down onto it with a forced and tight smile.
Eddie leans closer to you, voice dropped low and pools of warm brown alight with humor at your antics. "You finished?"
"Mmhm." You raise your smile higher, though it still doesn't meet your eyes as you relax into the chair and cross one leg over the other, arms folding across your chest. He continues with what he had been saying, elaborating on the task at hand and how the clutch of heroes was to perform a dangerous heist.
He describes them travelling to a nearby town and entering a tavern in hopes of gathering information on their target. The Sword of Reshgallah Eddie had called it. It was all so baffling to you but you work hard to keep up and follow the fantastical tale he sets up. He's theatrical as he does so, occasionally standing with a dramatic flair of his hands.
"What if we... Offer the barkeep money for any information?" Dustin ponders, rubbing a hand over his hairless chin.
"Can't you just flirt it out of him?" You snort under your breath but all eyes are immediately on you at the suggestion. And not all of them good. "Sorry. Just.. Making a suggestion."
"Yeah well, non-players shouldn't be making suggestions." Nancy's brother rolls his eyes and you fix him with a look that makes him backtrack, though his apparent opinion doesn't change. "I just mean, well... You're not in Hellfire. You're not part of the campaign, so what's the point in 'making suggestions'?"
Ouch. So, what? You had to just sit here looking pretty like some decoration on Eddie's belt? Your jaw twitches as you grit your teeth, biting your tongue over the witty retort you'd had lined up. If you kept being cruel to them, you'd never settle into their little group.
Did you even want that? They obviously didn't like you. As you scan around the room, the only faces regarding you with a shred of kindness and welcome were Dustin and Eddie's. And even then, you could see it lurking in both of their eyes that they didn't appreciate the interruption either. "You're right." You admit bitterly. "I'm not part of the campaign. I'm just..I'm gonna go."
"No--" Dustin shakes his head a little. "You don't have to go. Mike's just.. An asshole. Right, Mike?" He narrows his eyes at his friend and Eddie's hand settles over your wrist. The pity was unwelcome and seemed to only flare your bad mood further.
"Yeah, he is." You mumble beneath your breath, but the room was still. Quiet enough for him to hear it and frown across at you. You stand, feeling so incredibly stupid for even beginning to think this was a good idea. "It's fine. You guys have fun."
The walk to the exit felt eternal and the lack of protest wasn't lost on you. It wasn't even surprising since you already knew that they didn't want you there. It didn't help the sting of it being a reality get any better though. Skin prickles under their awkward stares, knowing they all felt relief at the idea of you not being there. A shitty feeling, honestly.
Even Eddie, as sweet as he was with just you alone, you knew he didn't want you there really. It was his thing with his friends and he must have felt like inviting you was the respectful thing to do. You wished he did it because he wanted to not because he felt like he should.
Your cheeks flare as you hurry your way down the hall, allowing the door to the room to close itself with a heavy slam. It wasn't intentional, yet still felt incredibly satisfying.
The parking lot opens up behind the large doors of the school and it's not until you're out walking towards your car that Eddie finally comes after you. At this rate, you didn't even want him to. You were mad. "Hey, wait up! Come on, don't be like that, sweetheart." He coos playfully, fingertips wrapping around your bicep to stop you from moving any further. He seemed to be under the impression that he could joke and tease his way out of this, hands looping around your waist to pull you in for a flirtatious embrace that you want no part of.
He leans to kiss you and you offer up your cheek, barely managing to hold back the tears as you free yourself from his grasp. "Like what? Humiliated? Not even by my own friends, but yours as well?" Your jaw tenses. His face falls. "No, screw it. Go enjoy your game, I'm not sitting somewhere I'm not wanted."
"It's not like that. The guys just.. They aren't used to girls. Especially ones like you..."
"What in the hell do you mean by that, Munson?" You frown at him, not missing the way he flinches at you reverting to the old habit of calling him by his surname. He hesitates, lips opening and closing as he desperately attempts to articulate the thoughts rolling around his mind. "They aren't used to 'girls like me', huh? Don't be so quick to act like you're not one of them."
"That's not fair." He complains in a stern tone, throwing his hands up with a sigh of defeat. You didn't care. It seemed perfectly fair when his invite of joining them tonight was met with arguments he didn't even attempt to counter. You just wanted him to have your back. But he didn't.
Your skin bristles and a large part of you just wants to give up the fight, run into his arms and kiss him. He had the same look in his own eye. But you were stubborn and hurt, willed into action by your bitter mind over your loving one though you were trying to fight it. You didn't want to be the bitchy mean girl anymore, but man did people love to test you.
Still, your shoulders slump a little in your reluctance to argue. "Look, it's okay if they don't want me there. I just... Would rather you told me that instead of inviting me and forcing them to be around me if they don't want to be. I'm here for you, Eddie. Not them. I just... Wanted to try to see what you like. What makes you happy."
He takes a tentative step closer, then another when he realises you weren't going to shout at him again. Ringed fingers loop around your upper arms, and then get more confident in pulling you into his own as he looks down at you with a growing smile. "You wanted to see what makes me happy?" He asks, naturally focusing on the one part of the conversation that was last on the list of priorities for you. But his sheer enjoyment of the fact, his pleasant surprise at your words, was regrettably just a little bit sweet. Just a little bit. Stone cracks to allow warmth in, just a slither, but warmth nonetheless. "Just look in the mirror, baby."
Ah, shit.
Despite yourself, you smile. A wisp of a thing really, barely there as you tilt your chin down so he couldn't see it. But oh, he does and oh, how it makes his heart race.
"I'm still mad at you." You insist, though with absolutely zilch by way of conviction. When you risk a glance up at him, he's grinning, thumbs tracing the curve of your lower spine where it meets your tailbone.
"How about I take you out tomorrow? It's Friday night, we can go on a proper date this time. Instead of just hanging out in my van, or after school, or in the supply closet making out during school - however much I do love doing that with you." He says and you laugh at the latter part, pursing your lips together after around the traitorous sound. It was music to Eddie's ears though, providing him with the relief of knowing you were okay with him again and if he could bottle it up to listen to whenever he felt sad, he would. It was an ethereal harmony like no other, soothing him to his very core. "And I promise no jail this time."
"That sounds... Fine." You downplay it, feigning indifference. You wanted to go really. Desperately so, in fact. You hadn't had a proper date yet - no, you weren't counting the golf since it ended in jail time - so you were undeniably excited at the prospect of going out with him.
"That it does, beautiful." He sees right through your charade, noticing the bubble of elation in your eyes at his suggestion. "What time should I pick you up?"
"I have cheer practice, but... I can call you when I'm done? And when I'm ready to be taken out into public after a shower and some heavy work." You tease and it tears free a chuckle from his chest which flares upon its release. He leans to rest his forehead to your own, lids fluttering shut a moment. "You don't need all that shit, honestly. But that sounds good."
"Perfect." You correct, hands settling on either side of his face so you could survey him properly. He looked deflated from the argument but still content, smile rising higher as you offer it back to him, confirming you were okay and not mad anymore. You still were deep down, but the promise of quality time with him was surely enticing as hell and working through the strains of tension to pull them free.
"Can I have a goddamn kiss now?" He huffs exasperatedly and overdramatically, as was his way. A soft giggle at his words, though you do end up giving in to his desirous whims. Lips press to his own, soft and keening for more that neither of you give. He was aware his friends were waiting for him and you were eager to get home after everything that had happened today.
You linger in his arms still though, tasting him and touching him and relishing in his particularly comforting warmth. You wished everything else could fall into place around your relationship because, God... It felt so good when it was just you and him. Why did everything else have to be so messed up?
Why did it all have to intervene and sour something so sweet and pure and adoring?
The world sucks.