Spencer stared at her floor, her knuckles bleeding.
How did we get here?
It was all a blur.
I'm dreaming, she told herself.
"This isn't real" she said out loud. "That wasn't real."
"It was real," Emily spoke, "I heard the whole thing."
She summoned their bottle of whiskey.
"It's five in the afternoon somewhere I guess" Emily sighed, sitting beside her.
Spencer took a big gulp, "take it easy, you haven't eaten anything" Emily said.
"Screw you" she replied angrily.
Emily nodded.
Someone started banging on her door.
"Wake up!" Andrew yelled. "Open the door, Spencer!"
She took another big gulp before slowly standing, she held her hand over her ribs as she walked to the door.
"Good morning Andrew, how can I help you?"
"Your boyfriend is a werewolf!" he exclaimed, entering her room.
"Ex-boyfriend and yes, he is."
"What happened to your arm?" he asked, seeing the wrap.
"Nothing, what do you want I'm busy."
"Your knuckles are bleeding."
She looked at her hand, "yeah."
"Did you say ex?" he asked, as if he had just heard her.
"Yes" she walked into her room.
Spencer picked up the bottle from the floor and put it on her nightstand before sitting down on her bed.
"What the hell happened?" he came in.
"I punched the mirror" she looked at it.
Andrew fixed it back up.
"You know what I mean" he looked at her.
"Andy" she whispered.
"You can tell me Spence" he sat in front of her.
Spencer closed her eyes, "long story short: Sirius Black is innocent, there was a whole thing by the whomping willow. Remus quit his job since everyone found out he's a werewolf and subsequently broke up with me. I have two broken ribs and a huge cut on my forearm from a stupid fucking tree branch. That's what happened."
Andrew nodded slowly.
"Oh and my knuckles are bleeding so, that's fun."
"...do you want to talk about it?"
"No one wants to be with me and my sad little bubble" she shook her head, her eyes beginning to water.
"Spence," he shook his head, "I'm here for you" he hugged her. "Fuck whatever he said."
Spencer gasped for air as she started to cry.
He rubbed her back as she spoke incoherently.
"You what?" he asked.
"I told him I loved him" she cried. "And he didn't care" she rested her head on his shoulder.
Andrews eyes widened.
"It's okay, I know there's nothing to say" she whispered.
Spencer began to calm down. "Can we move to the living room?" she asked.
The room smelled too much like him.
Andrew nodded before standing up, Spencer grabbed the bottle and followed him out of the room.
They sat down on the couch, Spencer offered him a drink.
"I'll have what you're having."
She chuckled lightly before handing it to him.
He took a drink, shutting his eyes as the alcohol went down his throat.
"Bleh" he shook his head.
Spencer smiled before turning to look at her book shelf.
It was half empty, then she saw their photo.
She wished she had laser vision, she would have destroyed that photo.
Her fireballs would be too risky.
"What, is Harry enemy number one or something?" Andrew saw what she was looking at.
Spencer, with the lack of a wand, brought the picture to them and took off the charm, revealing her and Remus smiling.
Andrew shook his head, "what an ass."
She shook her head and decided to look at something else, she drew her eyes to her record player.
She looked at her collection below, her heart sank further.
"He forgot his records" she spoke.
Andrew looked over, seeing the bottom shelf full.
"At least it's not shitty music" he shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess" she asked for the bottle with her hand.
Andrew got drunk quick, he was a lightweight. Spencer was getting there slowly but surely.
She continued to drown in her sorrows for 20 minutes, staring at the picture of them until someone came in.
Snape shut the door harshly, walked into the living room, and stared at the two.
Andrew smiled at him, Spencer's eyebrows furrowed at the action.
"Leave" he told Andrew.
"He's my guest-" Spencer tried to argue.
"Woah- you see him?" Andrew asked Spencer, wide-eyed.
"Gross" she shut her eyes. "We're talking about this later" Spencer shook her head.
"No we are not" he shook his head.
"Dude!" Spencer was going to start speaking but Snape but her off by yelling.
"Now, Sandoval!"
His voice scared her, she flinched.
"I'm fine, go" she nodded at Andrew.
He sighed, "seriously, it's okay" she said.
He nodded before standing up. He almost fell but held onto the table, "later" he kissed her head before leaving.
Once Snape heard the door close, he looked at her and gave her an angry sigh.
"Good lord" she groaned, grabbing the bottle as she stood up and walked to the window.
The same place Remus was earlier that morning.
"Do not walk away from me-"
"I'll do what I want" she cut him off.
"Spencer- you can tru-"
"What- trust you? Seriously?"
He sighed, "not every man you let into your life is a bad guy you can't trust-"
"And what are you" she looked him in the eye.
"I am someone who shows up when you need me-"
"I don't need you" she scoffed.
They stared at one another for what seemed like hours.
"Do you even want to explain?" he said through his teeth.
"Looks like you already know" she shrugged, looking to her side.
"You are-"
"He broke up with me."
He didn't reply.
"I don't need you yelling at me. My ribs are broken-"
"You can fix that with skele gro!"
"You know I don't like magical-"
"Why do you want to suffer."
Spencer took a deep breath.
"Why did you do it? Is it because- because he was there when I wasn't?"
"Stop it" she shook her head.
"Spencer what he did was wrong- he's just like-"
"Do not. Continue. I am warning you right now" she pointed her finger at him.
"Do you really not see how similar-"
"HE'S NOT LIKE HER- HE'S NOT!" she said angrily. Spencer took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, before she spoke again. "I knew him before school started-"
"He is a werewolf-"
"... please stop" she cried.
"What did I do wrong? What-"
"What are you talking about?" she sniffled.
"Why were you with him?"
"Why do you think?"
"I am not going to entertain this conversation. I want to hear it from your mouth."
She shook her head at him, "Because I love him" she said honestly. "I love him... I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM AND YOU MADE HIM GO AWAY."
"You loved Addison- that means noth-"
"That was not love" she cut him off. "You know that wasn't love- He taught me love, real love-"
"This is the same-"
"Addison abused me! She fucking groomed me into her perfect little toy- you do not get to compare him to her- you don't get to do that-"
"As the adult here-"
"Look" she looked him in the eye.
"What?" he asked.
"I didn't give you permission last time. I'm telling you to look now. So look, I know you want to."
"I will not-"
"Just do it already!"
He did so, without saying the incantation.
She allowed him to see everything.
From when they met, to Remus realizing she was his student and saying nothing can go on.
"You're making things very difficult" Remus said.
Spencer wanting to talk, Remus saying no.
Remus being an asshole.
Remus giving in.
"Spencer... if you don't want to do this we don't- I don't want to pressure you into anything."
Reading together on the couch.
Spencer running her hand through his hair.
Swimming at the lake.
Making dinner.
Holding hands.
Throwing snowballs at each other.
Face masks with Harry.
All of the happy memories that she had.
All of what Remus made her feel.
She wanted him to know.
She even showed him something she never wanted to see again.
"Say you'll remember me" she spoke out.
"Remember you? Why would I forget?" he asked, taking his head off her chest and looking up at her.
"Dunno" she shrugged. "If anything happens just say you'll remember me."
"I'd never forget" he shook his head. "Why are you saying this? I thought we'd gotten past it? What can I do to prove to you that I won't hurt you?"
She looked at him, "I'm right here love, I'm not going anywhere" he added.
"I know, I believe you" she smiled softly. "I just want to hear it, just in case I need something to look back on."
"I'm going to say it because you want me to. I'll remember you" he nodded. "But don't look back on this" he shook his head, leaning over for a kiss. "Look back on something happy- like when we made the clay Christmas tree or baking in our kitchen. Any other time but this fear of me abandoning you."
He got out, not wanting to see more.
She picked up the picture frame, showing him the photo of her and Remus.
"You always let your emotions get in the way. That's the problem with you, Spencer. You don't think" he spoke.
"Please..." she begged him to stop.
"He's just a man Spencer."
"No, he's not."
"Oh, so what are you telling me? That this was all worth it because he was the love of your life!" He shook his head, "he left Spencer... he left you. Does that prove that he loves you?"
"God would you-" Spencer angrily threw the bottle of liquor on the floor, the photograph following.
She placed her hand on her mouth, scared of herself.
After a few seconds of silence she ran up to him, punching his chest with all the force she had.
"This is your fault" she screamed.
Snape held her arms, slowly going down to the floor. He placed his hand on her head, caressing her.
"This is your fault" she cried, holding onto his hand. Stuck between wanting to take it off and keep holding on.
"You did this to me. You made him leave, I know you did it" she cried. "He promised" her voice broke.
"Hey... hey. Listen to me," he held her tight, "I'm going to take care of you. I'll take care of you, I got you."
"How could he do that to me," her voice cracked as she cried into his chest. "Why is this happening to me? I don't get it" she shook her head. "What did I do? What did I say? I always tried my best to keep something like this from happening" she hyperventilated. "Am I not supposed to have love, is that what's happening?"
"You have love... just not his."
She shook her head, "it's not fair... it's not fair" she whispered.
He caressed her head until she took her body back, "you should go" she wiped her face clean.
"I'm not leaving you-"
"I know you told everyone his secret" she said softly while she looked at the floor.
Snape didn't hear any anger laced in her tone.
"I know," she shrugged, "and I know he's going to say goodbye to Harry, and I know he's going to come after it happens."
"He can-"
"As much as I need you, he needs me more" she wiped her face again.
"You can't put him above-"
"I can... I will."
He shook his head before looking to the side, "fine."
Snape stood up and offered her a hand, she took it and stood.
He cleaned up the glass, levitating it to the trash can.
"Spencer-"
"Don't" she sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. "Just don't" she shook her head.
"We'll talk about it later."
"Sure" she looked to her side.
He walked out, leaving Spencer in the silence of her living room.
She summoned a bottle of wine and sat down on her couch, she continued to stare at his records.
Soon enough Harry showed up, he walked in and stopped to stare at her.
"You look..."
"Yeah, I know" she sighed.
He eyed the bottle in her hand.
"My ribs hurt" she brought the bottle to her lips.
He nodded in response.
"How's your arm?"
"It's ok" she nodded. "How are you?"
"Yeah," he nodded, "I'm ok." He sat beside her, "I don't know if you heard..."
"He came by earlier" she looked to her side, trying to hide her sadness... her anger. "I'm so sorry, Harry."
"It's okay," he shrugged, "at least he said bye."
Spencer let a deep breath out, "yeah, at least he said bye" she nodded.
"Are you sad?" he whispered softly.
"Are you?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah" she nodded. "I'm pretty... pretty fucking sad."
"We'll survive" he placed his head on her shoulder.
"Yeah," she replied, "we'll get by" she added. "I love you Jamie" she whispered, wrapping her arm around him.
"I love you too."
"Always?"
"Forever and always."