Another week goes by, and nothing is new anymore. Everything, for the first time in a while, seems easy. Taehyung's doing better, he and Wooshik have convinced everyone they've gotten married already, we're playing with the Bugatti more than we work, Yeeun and Wooshik are working with the new idea for their business, Sunhee and Reiko are going out (now officially). We're all doing our thing.
And I have utterly adjusted to the life of an older brother. So much you can resist...
There are things in life you need to experience to know how they feel. And I've gone through many different relationships in my life, but nothing is like the siblings bond. Even if we met eighteen years too late, it doesn't change the feeling much. It's not easy to explain. Not to me, at least. Not after I've just barely learned it.
But it's... very abundant. Strong, though I suppose I'm only getting started. I care a lot already, and I care in this familiar, but somewhat unknown way.
I think partly it's because, even though we've been apart all this time, we've shared equally shitty experiences with our parents. The two of us will always be the only ones to fully understand each other.
Sometimes I still wonder what it would be like if our parents weren't like this. If they were better. So many things could be different. I'd like to say for better or for worse, but honestly, I don't know how anything in my life could be better.
~~
We're in the previously usual setting today – Yeeun, Taehyung, Wooshik, me, in our apartment, when my phone rings.
"Unknown," I say, when they all look at me, and pick up. "Hello?"
"Is this Jeon Jungkook?"
"Yes?"
I listen to the guy on the other side, and I don't know if I should be relieved, mad or tired. At least it's not someone who's going to utterly flip our lives around again. Not much to worry about.
"Who was it?" Taehyung asks.
I end up letting out a sigh. "Anyone up for a trip to the police station?"
Eventually, I go with Taehyung.
On the way there, he says, "You seem angry."
"I'm not... I don't know if I am. I don't know what she did to be arrested."
"No license, right?"
"Yeah, but they wouldn't lock her for that. Every cop around knows it's my car. They'd let her go if it was just that."
"Who called you?"
"I don't know the guy. And he sounded professional."
Taehyung parks in front of my least favorite place in the city. We sigh at the same time.
When we walk in, everyone seems too busy to notice us. For the better, actually. While Yoongi always made sure we're not involved in any crimes on paper, and while we made sure to not get in some shit with all the illegal racing and illegal money, there's always a chance someone will be too curious for their own good.
After finding the right cop to talk to, one we know to be easy on the racing, talking to him, paying more than the actual bail should be, we wait for Sunhee by the door. She walks by, not even looking at us, and leaves. We exchange surprised glances and follow her.
"Sunhee!"
She whips around. "What?!"
"Why are you yelling at me now?" I ask. "Weren't you the one to get arrested an hour ago?"
"What about it?"
"What about it? Driving without license, okay. We've all done that. But insulting, threatening and punching a cop isn't how you deal with it."
"He was a dick!"
"Most of them are. But you were out there, driving without a license and violating every road rule. If you wanna do it, you have to know how to do it."
She glares at me for a moment, before stomping away.
I sigh. "I should just let go, right?"
"You can't just let go of everything. Just... take it easy, yeah? She's a teen."
"Yeah... yeah, okay. You're right. Let's go."
"It'll take a moment so I'll get your car," Taehyung says, handing me his keys.
Sunhee hasn't walked too far away. When I spot her, I slow down to 10 kilometers per hour and roll the window down.
"Get in the car, Sunhee," I say, trying to sound like I'm not as bothered.
And I'm not bothered because she got arrested or whatever. I'm bothered because it's not as simple. You gotta know the right people and what to tell them when they catch you so that they will let you go with a 'lesson', knowing damn well you are going to do the same thing again.
She was reckless. Had I not had enough money or couldn't talk to the right people, she could be in much more trouble.
"I'll get home by myself."
"Stop acting like that. It's an hour walk from here. It's late and dark-"
"I can take care of myself."
"I'm not saying you can't. I'm saying it's fucking dangerous."
"And I said I can take care of myself."
"And I said get in this fucking car. Stop pissing me off. I wasn't the one to get arrested."
She rolls her eyes and, finally, gets into the car.
Maybe it's not all that easy.
We drive back in silence. I don't want to be too parent-y, but somehow I need to convey that what she did was reckless and stupid, and tell her what she should have done instead.
But she's acting like I'm in the wrong here.
When we walk into the apartment, she heads straight for her room.
"Sunhee, wait."
"What do you want from me?"
"Do you realize what you did wrong and how it could have ended?"
"Yes, I do. Stop acting like my father."
"I'm not acting like your father. You were driving my car without a license, and then assaulted the wrong cop."
"Oh, I'm sorry I am not like you."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Just because you can sweet-talk every cop to let you be doesn't mean we all have to do that."
"You are the one breaking the law. We are all doing that. Yes, we all have to know how to deal with the cops. We all have to know who we can talk back to. Unless you enjoy being locked up, then by all means, go ahead."
"You gave me your car without telling me all of that."
"And you said you're not gonna get caught. I thought you have some common sense to know how to deal with something like this. You haven't been driving for a week, right?"
"If you haven't let me drive-"
"Okay! If that's what you want, that's the last time any of us let you drive!"
She widens her eyes. "Oh, so now you're gonna act like that? Last time I checked you weren't going to parent me."
"But you fucked up! What am I supposed to do?! Say you did a great job and move on?! Maybe you wanna do the same shit again? Good luck getting out of jail without knowing who to talk to and without 3 million won on hand!"
"Oh my God! You're just like them."
"What are you talking about?"
"That's how it fucking starts. You're telling me I can't drive without a license now. Before you know it, I won't be able to do anything because you won't let me. You want things to be your way, and you're just like our parents. You just never fucking realized it."
I blink, and before I can get myself to say anything, she slams the door to her room closed. And I can't quite bring myself to say anything.
Snapping out of it, I realize Yeeun and Wooshik have been watching it all, eyes wide open.
I clear my throat. "Yeah, I... anyways."
The front door flies open, and Taehyung walks in. He looks at all of us, one by one. "I missed something, didn't I?"
"Am I like my parents?" I ask right away. My brain must know he's the last person to bullshit me right now. If the answer is 'yes', he's the one to tell me that.
"What?"
"Am I like my parents or not?"
"Are you fucking insane? No, you're nothing like them, what the fuck?"
"Really?"
"Yes, really." Frowning, he asks, carefully, "Did Sunhee say it?"
"Jungkook." Yeeun steps forward, holding my hands. "You're not like them at all. All they ever cared about was themselves and how other people perceived them. You always cared about everyone else more. All you do is for us, not for you."
"What if I'm... what if I am like them? Or will be? God, these are my parents after all. Same blood and all that shit-"
"Jungkook, you're not like your parents," she says harder. Squeezing my hands harder. "You've never been and you never will be. You're so much better. Same blood or not, you've always lived by your own values. You could never be like them."
"You know what? I'm... I'm gonna go for a drive. I'll be back soon."
"Do you want to go alone?"
"Yeah... I want to go by myself."
I know siblings fight. I expected it. I knew we'd fight here and there, bicker, anything. I was ready for it. I wasn't ready for... being compared to them. I did everything not to be like them, not to make her feel like them.
I would hate to be like them. God, I'd do everything not to be like them.
I've never questioned it before – whether or not I am like my parents. I never needed to question it, because it wasn't a fucking option.
But what if Sunhee's right? What if I never thought I could be like them because I didn't want to be like them? What if, in fact, I was always like them?