I woke up the next morning nestled in warm, familiar arms. I couldn't even recall being carried into bed, after crying myself to sleep on the floor, and I chided myself for ever thinking perhaps Daniel was too strong. He'd definitely scared me last night, but he didn't hurt me; he was strong when he needed to be.
I could vaguely smell breakfast and coffee, and I smiled gratefully; a 'thank you' just ready to slip past my lips when I heard, "Are you alright, sweetheart?"
The voice was gentle and soothing and very much appreciated. Warm, familiar, and kind.
But it wasn't the voice I'd hoped to hear.
And I suddenly realized that the warm, familiar embrace I was wrapped tightly into was far too plush. A polar opposite to Daniel's firm, unyielding muscles.
"Mama?" I said blearily, reaching my hands up to rub my burning, tired eyes.
"I was so worried about you, Emma. I don't think I've ever seen you sleep so hard," She said softly, running gentle fingers through my long hair.
I sat up a bit and blinked my eyes to clear my vision. I was home. But not my home with Daniel. My old home. At my parents house. In my old bedroom, snuggled up next to Mama, instead of my husband.
My pretend husband, who saved me from Orion and Mr. Robert. And then he was angry with me for the first time.
At the worst possible time.
He left me.
"Wh-how did I..?" I whispered, on the verge of panicking.
"Father is back in town right now. I believe Orion asked him to return. Daniel asked me to bring you here while he...deals with the...aftermath of what happened yesterday. But you wouldn't wake up to walk, and I couldn't carry you, so I asked Father to help."
I vaguely recalled being moved and carried, but my eyes had been so swollen and my heart had been too heavy to question what was happening.
Was he really so upset with me for leaving the house that he'd just washed his hands of me?
He didn't even come back for me?
"Daniel has come to check on you several times, Emma," Mama said soothingly, as if reading my thoughts. "He wasn't pleased that Father carried you, said he didn't want anyone else to touch you, other than me... He's got...quite the temper..."
Yes, I am seeing that very clearly now...
But...at least he hadn't abandoned me yet.
I stayed silent, gradually slumping down little by little, until I was once again nestled in Mama's arms.
"Where is he now? Why isn't he here?"
Why wasn't he the one holding me right now? Were my actions from yesterday so unforgivable?
"He's been with Lars all night."
"H-he's soooo angry with m-me, Mama. He s-saw what Orion—"
"Emma, please just try to rest and allow Daniel to settle whatever is going on. Orion —"
"Tried to stick his cock in my bottom yesterday, Mama! He and Mr. Robert tried to—" I shrieked, sitting up angrily.
Why wasn't Daniel here??
"Daniel saw what they were trying to do to me! And he—screamed—at—me." I was hiccuping now, on the verge of hysteria as I fought to contain my rising emotions.
He just left me last night! Was he going to tell me he no longer wished to be with me? Was I tainted now?
Why wasn't he here??
"Emma, keep your voice down! He is doing his best to make sure you're safe, despite The Prophet's Orders. That's... That is more than any other man around here would ever dare to do for their wives," Mama said rather fiercely. But still as softly as ever.
She was well-trained after years of marriage, and I was a 'stupid fucking bitch' who couldn't obey simple orders.
"But he should be here," I whispered petulantly, quickly wiping away a few stray tears. I wanted him to hold me and calm me down and tell me he wasn't angry with me anymore and that he'd forgiven me.
I wanted him to take care of me first, before he planned his revenge or whatever else he and Lars were up to.
I wanted him to tell me he loved me. And I wanted to say it back.
I wanted to forget the horrible things he'd said to me, and I wanted him to kiss me and keep pretending that we were happily married.
Because we were.
I didn't know what qualified as marriage in The Outer World. What made it "legal" out there that didn't make it legal here. And I wasn't tattooed or branded or pregnant. But we were married, and nobody could tell me any differently.
Maybe he was pretending at first, but I couldn't bear to believe that nothing had changed. That he was still pretending.
But then, if he wasn't pretending, WHERE WAS HE?
"Emma, did he...punish you...for running off?"
The question was so unexpected, it abruptly broke me out of my inner ramblings. I looked at Mama with wide eyes and shook my head fervently.
"No!" I gasped, appalled.
But.
Perhaps yes.
"Mama, what does it mean to be punished?" I whispered tearfully, waiting for her to confirm that Daniel was indeed just like Father and the other men around here... but I was praying that her definition did not merely mean harsh words and yelling and a large, intimidating hand loosely wrapped around my neck.
Mama seemed reluctant to answer, and I was a bit reluctant to hear her answer. Perhaps it was best if I didn't know.
Perhaps Daniel would show me for himself, if he ever came back for me.
"Mama, it's alright. You don't have to—"
"No, no. I'll tell you. You should know...what may happen, if Orion takes you as his wife."
"But he won't! You said Daniel—"
"Is doing his best to keep you safe. But he injured The Prophet and a community leader. Father says the community seems to be divided over who is at fault. The laws state that husbands must willingly share their wives, so Orion wasn't acting within the laws when he took you. But Daniel has yet to fully claim you.
"There will be a hearing as soon as Orion is well enough to walk again. They had to send Mr. Robert to a hospital in The Outer World, Emma! You need to be prepared."
I didn't respond. I couldn't. I couldn't do anything other than focus on breathing, because it was as if my body was struggling to remember how.
"When Father punishes me, it's usually with his hands. Or a whip or his belt. The same as he does with his children, but often for much longer periods of time. He tries his best to expel the Dark Spirits so he won't have to send me to Orion. Orion encourages husbands to send their wives to him if they've committed grave offenses.
"Offenses can include still receiving your monthly bleeding if your husband is actively trying to get you pregnant for at least 3 months. Soiling the marital bed with your monthly bleeding. Chronic infertility. Talking back, crying, refusing penetration, or refusing to perform during the monthly community ceremonies. Saying no to or disrespecting a community leader. Depression, postpartum depression...
"But some men send their wives to Orion for less serious offenses, like failing to please them in their marital beds, or not making their meals hot enough or seasoned enough. During their punishments, they're kept in cages and wear collars that will shock them with a painful electrical pulse. And they're beaten and whipped, of course.
"Community leaders often come in to help Orion discipline the women, as Mr. Robert did yesterday. But just like during the community ceremonies, the other men are made to worn coverings over their...privates...so only Orion may share his healing Light.
"And Emma, I don't tell you this to scare you.
But Daniel must either brand you today or you need to prove that you're carrying his child. Both would be ideal. Otherwise, I'm afraid the hearing may not...end in your favor."
I stared at her, owl-eyed, trembling, and unable to speak.
Cages? Electrical collars? Whose horrible mind thought of this??
How was anyone allowing these things to happen? Would no one question Orion if that was the future he subjected me to? My menses was unpredictable. It was very likely that I may accidentally soil the sheets on occasion. Would my punishment be just as harsh, or would it simply be punishment enough to be married to Orion?
"But if it comes down to it—and I pray The Great Spirit favors you so none of this will ever come to pass," Mama whispered, "Father and I will help you...leave the community, just like we did for Lara."
That couldn't be right. Father was always so angry that Lara had disgraced our family! I...I simply must have misheard her.
"Mama? What did you—"
"Emma." Daniel's voice called out from the doorway, making both me and Mama jump. I eyed him warily, awaiting his wrath. His face betrayed no emotion.
"Come on, we need to go home and talk."