I don't know how it happened. Last week, it was so clear how it happened. How I ended up with Quinn in my apartment for no actual reason was so clear. He'd asked, and I said sure. This time, however, he kind of just ended up here. It wasn't a surprise though. Somehow I was expecting him.
That's kind of how it's been with me and Quinn from the start. We somehow end up with the other. Over and over again, we make our way to be near each other. Even if it's not in the greatest of attitudes. It's never a surprise.
People think that things that stay the same and do the same thing over and over are boring. They're so wrong. If they were right, I wouldn't exist. I'm in love with routine and hate boredom. Quinn's no different in that. We've fallen into a weird routine and I could never get bored of it. Never. I know that for a fact.
I'm sitting on my counter. Quinn's leaning back against the counter across from me, reading the back of the book I finished today. Does he know how good he looks focused? Does he know how good he looks period?
"Didn't realize you could read," I say to break up the silence.
He sets the book back on the counter. "You're so funny."
"Don't remind me."
"Shut up," he mumbles. Joking.
My voice isn't so joking. My favorite line slipping out, "Make me."
He's only been over for, maybe, fifteen minutes. But fucking hell those fifteen minutes have been in slow motion. If I'd known I could kick it into speed with two words, I'd already have done it by now. 'Cause he looks good and it's been a week since I saw him last. Even longer since I've kissed him last and I just want him.
When did I get so fucking desperate?
It doesn't matter. Quinn's in front of me, standing between my legs with his hands on my thighs. Smiling that stupid, little smug smile at me. The butterflies in my stomach make me okay with being a bit desperate. I think I've been okay with it since he let me touch that scar above his ear. That feels a lot farther in the past than it is.
The anticipation has built up enough, snapping like a rubber band. I lean forward and kiss him. It's desperate because I'm desperate. My hands find his hair as always. We move in sync. It's shocking how two people who were so adamant to be on opposite sides can move so perfectly together. A team.
He squeezes my thighs slightly. I inch forward on the counter. It's overwhelming. It's so much. He's so much and it's perfect.
I pull back, breathing heavily. "I missed you. This."
No response. His face is blank. Chest heaving with the same breathlessness. Our faces are inches apart and he's looking at me in a way I can't place. Totally blank. There's something there at the same time. I don't know. I don't get it.
Until he melts into a smile. Proud. "Finally. Christ took you long enough."
"What?" I can feel the frown take over my face. There's no controlling it.
"You made this whole big thing about how you wouldn't miss me and you don't miss me." He shrugs. "Was waiting for you to finally fess up. I knew I could get you to eventually."
I lean back. Entirely. All of me. I push myself as far back on the counter as possible, my head and shoulders pressing against the cabinet behind me. What the fuck does that even mean?
Quinn tries to chase after me and step forward, but the counter keeps him where he is. "What's wrong?"
"You knew you could get me to?" I laugh slightly. Not really in a very humorous way. It's a cold, confused laugh. "Like a challenge you wanted to beat?"
"That's not... No. I mean, it was kind of challenging but everything with you is kind of challenging."
My hands retreat from his hair. One ends up on his chest, gently pushing him back a step.
"No, no," he says. "That wasn't meant to be— Scout, I didn't mean it that way."
"Is there another way to mean that?"
"I didn't mean it in a bad way."
"What are you doing here?" I don't let him respond at all. Continuing. "I mean, come on. If I'm so challenging, why are you still coming around?"
His eyes can only be described as doe-eyed. Big and soft. It pulls at my heart how hurt he looks at me. "Where else would I go?"
Another not-so-humorous laugh bubbles up at the same time that pesky gross feeling settles into my stomach. "Don't say that. Not when I've seen you with other girls."
"What have you seen?" He shakes his head. Anger taking over only a tiny bit. "What have you seen other than me eventually rejecting them since I've met you?"
"You look at them so... I don't know. You don't look at me like you look at them. You never have."
Quinn laughs. Not in the same way I have. It's more of a shock thing, I think. Surprised or something. But the smile lingers around. "I'm not looking at other girls the way I look at you because they aren't you."
"What?"
"Trust me, I didn't get it either until Jack showed me a group chat that's dedicated to taking pictures of us when we aren't paying attention." He laughs, this one a real laugh that makes me smile a little. "Your friends are weird."
My hands go on top of his where they're on my legs. "You knew them all before I did so..."
"Finch and Atticus are both in there," he says.
"Of course they are." My brain clicks. Like a rubber band snapping. "Wait, what?"
"Two of your brothers are—"
"No, no, I got that."
"So what don't you get?"
"Everything but that?"
The guy looks down. Like full-on head down. He mumbles something. I can't hear it. Swear to god, I have no choice in the action but I tilt his head back up to look at me.
"What was that?" I question.
He squeezes his eyes shut for a second. Opens them back up with a deep breath in. "Uh, while we weren't talking you and my brother never... Right?"
"Trust me when I say I had all the chances in the world and it never happened."
"All the chances in the world?"
"He once answered my FaceTime while getting out of the shower," I say. Even though I know he doesn't actually need to hear it. He just likes to hear any hint that it's only him. "I hung up. Besides, we all know my type."
"Good, that's good." Another deep breath. "Can I take you on a date? Can we actually try?"
My jaw drops. Don't know what I was expecting. Somehow it wasn't that. Logically, it could have been along those lines but I genuinely didn't think it'd be that. Quinn's eyes widen slightly, panicked, and he goes to say something. Probably going to take it back. In my daze, I start nodding.
It's not the biggest of smiles. It's more of a relieved look. As if I'd reject him. He still doesn't get it and it is so endearing for whatever reason.
"I kind of expected us to end up doing this in a screaming match," I admit, shaky hands reaching up to the sides of his face. "I kind of expected me to be the one to have to ask you anything."
His hands squeeze my thighs slightly. "My mom would be pissed if I didn't do anything in the next month."
"Seriously?"
"She ripped into me because she heard me explaining the whole situation to Jack way back when."
"It still took you this long?" I lean forward, pressing a kind of rough but short kiss to his lips. "You're the worst."
He presses a kiss of his own to my lips, staying only centimeters away when it ends. "You never did anything either."
"I think we already went over why."
"I missed you," he whispers.
I match his volume. "What are you doing to me, Hughes?"
"Making you miss me."
And a bit more than that. He doesn't even know it.
***************
a/n
fav line is "where else would i go?"
only these dumbasses could have the most anticlimactic enemies (?) to lovers official get together out there btw