My breath hitched, tears threatened to fall as the memories flooded in. The moment I crashed through the ground, lying helplessly as I anticipated my inevitable death, I could feel the sensation of the pain, like I was reliving that moment. My heart kept beating faster as every second went by. I placed my hand up to my chest in an attempt to calm it down. It kept replaying over and over again. It won't leave my mind.
I thought that was it. That was how my life would end. Even if I couldn't believe it right then, I eventually had to accept wherever death had to take me.
I had at least expected death to take me to an afterlife, but I somehow ended up here.
Where am I?
Why am I here?
I couldn't answer any questions, and that gave me the urge to rip my hair out.
I wanted answers. I needed answers.
I felt all sorts of emotions, lost, scared, and confused. Emotions I don't usually feel, at least I tried not to. I couldn't understand the emotions overwhelming me, it didn't make any sense. It felt more intense than it was in the past, making it even harder to control.
I needed a way to calm down, so I sat up straight, closed my eyes and meditated right then and there in the middle of a hospital hallway.
I knew how ridiculous I may look to passers-by, but that didn't matter. I needed to think of a way out of here.
A couple minutes passed, and my heart went back to beating regularly. Now I needed to think. There may have been crucial information I missed.
There were memories I was unfamiliar with, memories that seemed faint and didn't line up with my more vivid ones.
In one memory, I was a functioning member of society, but in another, I acted like a feral baboon with no direction in life.
I further investigated those memories, leaving me with more questions than answers. So I straightened my posture to organize and analyze my findings.
So to summarize, this body- no scratch that, this is still my body and I'm not giving that up.
Right now, my name is Christopher Adler. Everyone calls me Chris. I am 18 years old.
I go to school at Cypress High and get home at 2 am at the earliest. I am in a committed relationship but have frequent hookups here and there. My clothing style is of a pubescent teenager being allowed to dress on their own. I smoke a lot of weed and drink to the point I could be considered an alcoholic. I'm in bed at 5 am and don't care how much sleep I get. After making poor life decisions, I go straight to bed. Most of the time, I have trouble sleeping and wake up feeling pissy as ever.
So, in conclusion, the person whose life I'm living in is the fucked up villain of the book I so badly want to burn.
I rubbed my temples as my headache resurfaced once again.
Why me?! I'm not Chris!! Sure, we may have the same name and face but I'm not some psychopathic asshole who deserves this!! So why in god- or any other being's name does it have to be me!? I had my whole life ahead of me so why!?
I screamed out internally, causing veins to bulge out. I sat there confused out of my mind, restraining the urge to pull my hair out.
Just then, it dawned on me. I'm missing something... something important. Something so crucial that I've chased my whole life for.
The one thing that'll tear me apart if it's lost.
I gasped at the realization, instinctively bringing my hands to my hair with a firm grip, visibly shaking.
"R-Right now... I'm an eighteen year old h-highschool student that i-isn't qualified for the... Bar exam..." I let out a shaky whisper as I was in complete disbelief. All unwanted emotions came flooding in and I couldn't endure it any longer.
It's gone. It's all gone.
A sharp wail escaped me as I let my body plummet to the ground, my tears flowing freely without restraint. "C-C-Calm down C-Christopher...! T-This is only a dream...!" Feeling completely numb, I tucked my legs up to my chest in a desperate need for comfort. My heart weighed heavily at my loss as the tears continued to fall, not planning to stop anytime soon.
The time and effort I put in during those exhausting decades of my life. Just so it can lead up to this moment,
the moment I've failed.
I slammed my fists onto the hard tiled floor, causing me to curse out in pain, but that didn't stop me from letting my emotions take control.
I've lost.
☄• ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆•°. *࿐
Archer
I sprinted through the familiar hallways. I've been here a couple of times, but today is the third time this month. The moment I heard my little sister got into a fight again, I dropped everything I was doing and rushed to the hospital.
She's been causing trouble for herself lately and I was worried about what's going on with her.
My heart beat out of my chest, running as fast as I could, but came to a halt when I found myself facing an unexpected obstacle.
There was a guy who looked around my age, wailing on the floor. He was flailing around like a child throwing a tantrum. He kept screaming "why" repeatedly, rolling back and forth with tears covering his face. "I lost it, I lost it all...!" He screamed out, continuing to cry even louder.
Lost...?
Realization quickly struck. My gaze softened at the man. I knew the feeling far too well, the feeling of lost... It was mind numbingly painful and difficult to deal with... But I couldn't even imagine how it could've felt for others... Did they feel the same way I do? Or was it worse?
I knew it wasn't my business to intervene, but I couldn't bring myself to leave him. It could have been a lonely time for him and I wanted to say something, for the small hope of making him feel better, even if it meant risking myself being hit in the face.
It won't matter anyway, it'll just be a simple interaction and we'll go on with our separate lives.
I simply went with that thought and slowly approached the man as silently as possible, trying not to aggravate him.
"Hey, umm... Excuse me..?" I said softly. He stopped crying, took one glance at me and then quickly sat up to face me. He scrunched his face, looking at me in disgust like I was the one being caught wailing on the floor.
"Are you okay?" I continued despite the unfriendly face I was given.
He changed his disgusted expression a few seconds later and put on a straight face. "Yes... I'm fine. I appreciate the concern." He said in a monotone voice that didn't give off any trace of sadness. If I hadn't witnessed what happened a moment ago, I would've believed him, but the tears still dripping down his face had me doubting.
"I know I may seem like I'm prying but- umm... I just want to say that I'm sorry for your loss... I may have gone through a similar experience but I can't say I completely understand how you feel, but I know it can be hard and I'm sorry you have to go through that... I just want to let you know that... I'll be rooting for you."
He stared at me blankly, but it slowly began to break as he lowered his head, sobbing quietly.
I knew this was my cue to leave, but my body was stuck to this spot. I couldn't bear to leave him alone. He reminded me of my sisters, how they cried their hearts out, and all I could do was stay by their side, not being able to do much to lessen the pain. Even if it was small and insignificant, I still wanted to stay a little longer, hoping it would help even a bit.
I continued to sit there, not daring to make a sound. I faced the ground as I silently listened to him cry.
A few minutes passed and I still sat there, not moving an inch. The man's cries have slowly subsided. I raised my head to face him, he began to open his mouth but before I could listen to what he had to say, I suddenly heard multiple footsteps coming hurriedly our way. I whipped my head to see who they could be. It were doctors and nurses shouting in panic, "Mr Adler! Mr Adler!" The man raised his head, looking at them with the same disgusted look he once gave me.
"M-Mr Adler! You're still in bad condition... P-Please let us help you get back to your room...!" One of the doctors nervously exclaimed as he timidly grabbed the man's arm but still waited for him to get up himself.
Before he got up, he looked at me and quietly whispered, "Thank you..." I wouldn't have heard it if it was one decibel lower, but I'm glad I did.
I gave a gentle smile in return as I watched him be ushered by the shaking staff.
☄• ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆•°. *࿐
I opened the door, finally arriving at my sister's room. She quickly turned her head as soon as I walked in. "Archy...? You're here?" She looked at me with her classic puppy eyes.
I sighed, sternly looking at her. "You know that won't work on me, Amelia. It's the third time this month. What did they say to you now?" She rolled her eyes which added fuel to my irritation.
"Same as always... But it's not my fault they're dumb enough to make the same mistake." She huffed, crossing her arms as she leaned back in the recliner.
"That also applies to you, y'know. Why can't you just let it go?"
"How can I let it go when they keep making fun of me for having dead parents!" She spat bitterly, raising her voice.
My mind went blank for a moment. When the news broke that our parents had passed away, she didn't take it very well, none of us did. But she started to change little by little since that day. I understood that she still hadn't gotten over their death. Hell, even I wasn't, and I don't think I ever will.
"That's still not a good reason to start a fight! You're hurting people plus risking yourself getting expelled!"
"So what?! Why can't you understand me for once?! You're my brother for fucks sake!!"
My heart felt heavy at her words. Several thoughts started clouding my mind, hurtful words were at the tip of my tongue, but I decided against it. I wanted to do everything I can to help, anything to make her happy.
I'm her brother after all.
She noticed the look on my face and immediately softened her expression.
"Amy, I know you're going through a tough time and I can't completely understand how you feel. But I want to understand so I could make it better, and as your brother, I just want the best for you. I don't like seeing you hurt." I sat down next to her, gently holding her hand.
She tightening her grip on my hand. "I-I know... It's just... Hard..."
I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You can always take your time and when you're ready, you can talk to me about it. You know I'm always there for you."
"Yeah... But you have a lot going on with school and-" I cut her off. "Nothing is more important than you guys. So please, don't carry everything by yourself."
She scooted closer to me, leaning her head on my shoulder as she quietly whispered, "Okay..."
I let out a gentle chuckle. "And promise me not to get into fights again. Make sure to keep it this time."
"I guess..."
"Also, fix that vulgar tongue of yours, young lady."
"That I can't promise."
I let out an exaggerated gasp as I turned to pinch her cheek, causing her to yelp. "Promise me!" I shouted, holding back laughter. "Okay! Okay! I promise!" I let go, letting out a hearty laugh. She rubbed her face, looking at me grumpily before laughing along.