Three Idiots and a Ghost

By salkim03

393K 30.9K 14.6K

3 + 1 = 3 ... idiots and a ghost! Cooper Smith, the clueless one. Archer Lee, the awkward one. Skyler Rose, t... More

3I1G (3D1P #1) - Idiotic Introduction
When an idiot showered
When three idiots attacked
When a ghost said hi and received a f**k you
When a cat gave a piece of his mind and a ghost got a name
When a ghost fell asleep
When a ghost possessed an idiot
When an idiot danced
When an idiot got passionate about bananas
When a ghost said sorry and received a fart
When a ghost imagined a creepy idiot
When an idiot turned dumb
When a ghost snuck around and pissed off an idiot
When a ghost dreamed of an idiot
When two idiots were in class
When an idiot cried Ringu!
When someone never got a reply
When an idiot worried too much
When an idiot got violated
When an idiot and a ghost had a nice time
When an idiot kept himself busy in his room
When an idiot was utterly clueless and another idiot lost his manhood
When a ghost went undercover
When someone passed by
When an idiot went to a gay bar
When a ghost felt sorry
When a ghost finally learned something about herself
When an idiot failed again to remember a girl's name
When a ghost couldn't look in the mirror
When a ghost got two bad pictures and a passible one
When three idiots and a ghost celebrated
Miniseries: A Cat's Chagrin (Part 1 of 2)
When a ghost ran away
When an idiot didn't like someone
When three idiots got into character
When a ghost watched the news
When two idiots skipped class
When a ghost got a friend she could relate to
When a ghost couldn't do anything
When a ghost knew this was farewell
When an idiot couldn't be awkward
When a ghost didn't know
When an idiot's grandma came to visit
When an idiot was possessed by evil spirits
When a ghost went on a trip
When a ghost remembered
When a ghost found acceptance
When three idiots sort of kidnapped someone
When a ghost found forgiveness
When a ghost reached her last day
When three idiots and a ghost said goodbye
Miniseries: A Cat's Chagrin (Part 2 of 2)
When three idiots spent a day without a ghost
When three idiots, a ghost, and a cat got interviewed
When an idiot wrote a Pattwad story
3W1Z (3D1P #2) - Introduction (Because I've decided to move everything here)
Because breathing is pretty cool (Part 01)
Because breathing is pretty cool (Part 02)
Because breathing is pretty cool (Part 03)
Because there are no second chances in death (part 01)
Because there are no second chances in death (part 02)
Because there are no second chances in death (part 03)
Because you can let yourself be heard (Part 01)
Because you can let yourself be heard (Part 02)
Because you can let yourself be heard (Part 03)
Because you can better yourself (Part 01)
Because you can better yourself (Part 03)
Because you will get to places (Part 01)
Because you will get to places (Part 02)
Because you will get to places (Part 03)
Because it opens you up to new things (Part 01)
Because it opens you up to new things (Part 02)
Because it opens you up to new things (Part 03)
sgniht oder nac uoy esuaceB
Because only live bodies feel warm (Part 01)
Because only live bodies feel warm (Part 02)
Because only live bodies feel warm (Part 03)
Because there's always another chance (Part 01)
Because there's always another chance (Part 02)
Because there's always another chance (Part 03)
Because ghosts don't have friends (Part 01)

Because you can better yourself (Part 02)

144 18 0
By salkim03

A few minutes earlier

"What the fuck are we supposed to do, Walt?!" Warrick shout-whispered, crouching behind the parked truck with his brother. The twin's car was parked a little distance away out of sight on the single road that led to this clearing in the forest. "So? What's the plan? You're supposed to be the smarter twin!"

"While I one hundred percent agree that I'm smarter, could you shut up for one second? I'm trying to think here."

"But there's no time to think! Who knows what those guys are doing to Ever right about now?"

Walt groaned, racking his brain for a way to get Ever back without having to deal with those intimidating men, especially the one that carried the girl inside the cabin. However, it seemed that option simply wouldn't be possible. In that case, perhaps the simplest method might prove the most effective.

"How about we just knock on the door?" he suggested, which earned a very disappointed look from his brother.

"Are you serious, Walt? Have you never watched a horror movie before? Come on, look at our surroundings! There's a cabin in the middle of the fucking woods! I'm willing to bet those men that took Ever are cannibals."

"Now, you've watched way too many horror movies. What are the chances of us ever actually encountering cannibals?"

"We live in a universe where ghosts, zombies, and werewolves exist. Literally anything's possible, Walt."

"...Good point."

"Wow, what do we have here?" Bradley said, who had heard the twins' not-so-quiet bickering while walking to the truck. "Looks like we'll be feasting tonight."

"You see?" Warrick said. "I told you they were cannibals."

"Is that really what you're thinking about right now, you idiot?"

"Hey, I'm not an idiot, or else I would've been in the previous book."

"Shut up and run, you idiot—"

But it was already too late as Bradley grabbed the two boys and hauled them over his shoulders.

. . .

"Now, you boys sit here and read through that pamphlet, alright?" Bradley said, placing the twins on the sofa with a copy of "The Cannibal Club's Official Guide to Being Eaten."

This was after Ross had fastened their feet with zip ties to avoid another lost meal. But the cannibals agreed to keep their hands free so they could read through the pamphlet more easily. They were very adamant about them reading it.

"Hey," Warrick said to Bradley, who remained standing by the sofa to keep an eye on the prey. "Which section of the pamphlet are we supposed to read? 'Sorry, you're about to die' or 'Sorry, you're about to be disfigured, but you'll live for now'?"

Walt snatched the pamphlet out of his hand. "Forget that shit. What happened to Ever?"

"Oh, you mean the missy?" Bradley asked. "She ran away with all her body parts just before I found you two."

Walt let out a sigh of relief that at least Ever was able to make it out of here okay.

His brother, on the other hand, exclaimed, "Fuck, Walt! I knew we should've waited in the car!"

Walt narrowed his eyes at him. "What do you mean we? You said I should go alone while you would wait in the car."

"At least you would be the only one stuck here, then. And I could've met up with Ever."

"One of you still would need to come for me in that case."

"......"

"...You would come and get me, right?"

"......"

"You guys can eat him first."

Before anyone could agree to that, the door burst open.

"Hey!" a new man greeted, entering the cabin. The door blocked the twins' view of him.

"Tom!" Bradley said with delight. "You're not going to believe this. We have not one, but two catches tonight. Twins!"

"Twins?" Tom shut the door and turned to the boys on the sofa. His eyes widened with surprise. "You two!"

"Tom?" Walt and Warrick said together.

"You know each other?" Ross asked, walking into the living room while Peter finished up the soup.

Tom nodded. "These kids are my neighbors."

"Thank god," Walt sighed. "Looks like we can get out of here now."

"What are you talking about?" Tom said.

"Like you said, we're your neighbors."

"Yeah," Warrick added, "so you'll let us go."

Tom shook his head. "You're awfully mistaken. You may live next door to me, but we're still going to eat you."

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