A Talk
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"Sofiya...?"
Sofiya couldn't believe her eyes. Right before her stood Sebastian Sallow, the Slytherin boy who accompanied countless journeys with her the previous year. The boy she helped in his quest to save his sister, no matter what he asked of her. The boy who didn't send a single letter to her this summer.
She didn't know how to feel once she laid her eyes on Sebastian. At first, she felt her heart drop at the sight of him. She was anxious to avoid him, to get as far away from him as possible. Her mind was running a million miles a minute, riddled with questions and cries and smart remarks that she just couldn't bring herself to say. Then, a feeling of anger started to well up inside her. A dark, sinking feeling of resentment overcame any buried need to properly talk to Sebastian, to become friends again. However, the hundreds of emotions that overwhelmed Sofiya were all hidden behind an expression of... Shock.
Sofiya took in Sebastian's features, watching as they turned from an expression of anger to fragility. He looked in awe, as if Sofiya was broken shards of glass strewn on the floor that shattered at his hand. It was unnerving, and the last thing she wanted to see today. He almost looked... Sad.
After moments of silence, Sebastian spoke again, "...How have you been?" He asked, his familiar smile tugging at his lips.
No... Don't you smile at me.
"Just fine," Sofiya replied flatly. She stood from the seat she had only just taken, tearing her gaze away from Sebastian to instead turn toward Ominis, "Let's catch up at a later time, Ominis. I believe this seat is taken."
Sofiya rushed to the other side of the classroom, feeling her heart pound and the sweat gather at her cold fingertips. Was that too harsh? Should she have given the boy a chance to speak further, or was she in the right? Sofiya never questioned herself when it came to her plan to avoid Sebastian. He didn't want to write to her, after all – this is what they both wanted. All she had to do was avoid seeing or speaking to him... However, now that he was in front of her, that was proving to be much easier said than done.
The Ravenclaw sat at the first desk she came across, desperately trying to ground herself and return to her senses.
"You're the hero girl from last year, are you not?"
Sofiya jumped slightly at the soft voice that piped up beside her. She must have been so out of her mind that she didn't notice the girl already taking up the other side of the bench.
As Sofiya looked over, her pale blue eyes were met with dull green ones. Her sharp eyes held a softness to them, and her olive-toned skin was dusted over by a light red blush. Lone, thin strands of ink-black hair framed her oval face, while the rest was tied tightly in a bun. She was beautiful... And yet, Sofiya didn't seem to recall her face.
"O-Oh, yes... I suppose you could put it that way!" Sofiya chuckled, a slight awkwardness lurking in her laugh, "I'm sorry, seems I failed to notice you when I sat down!"
"No worries." The girl offered Sofiya a small smile. Her arms crossed and her elbows rested on the desk, "I'm Octavia... Cauldwell." She finished.
"It's a pleasure. I'm-"
"Sofiya Laurier, correct? Your name traveled quickly around the castle last year." Octavia cut in, her gaze staring deeply into Sofiya. It was a bit... Unsettling?
"Ah..." Sofiya nodded. It did make sense. While Sofiya didn't care much – or really at all – for her reputation or popularity, it was only logical for people to know her name after everything she's done. "Have we met before? I apologize, but you don't look familiar..."
"No, most likely due to us being in different houses." The other girl pointed to the green crest on her robe, "Slytherin. Although, I'm sure you know Imelda Reyes. She's my partner."
"Is that so?" Sofiya's eyes widened slightly – she never pictured Imelda in a relationship. She always seemed to focus on Quidditch and flying too much for something so intimate. "I've never seen you two together?"
"We're quite private about it. A mutual decision." Octavia spoke lowly, her pale finger pointing past Sofiya, "Ominis Gaunt is a good friend of mine, as well. However, I don't quite like that Sebastian bloke he's always with... He's a bad omen, in my eyes. Don't you think?"
Sofiya furrowed her brows at the question, quite surprised, "Well... I wouldn't say a bad omen. Why do you ask?"
"Oh... My apologies." The Slytherin looked down, her finger moving to trace the groves in the wood, "I assumed since you avoided speaking with him, you must take a dislike to him. Perhaps I'm incorrect..."
"Well–"
At the creak of an opening door, the students' ongoing conversations hushed into silence. Sofiya pressed her lips together as Professor Hecat entered the room, assuming that perhaps she and Octavia could continue their conversation another time.
"Well, it is quite pleasant to see no one has torn apart any ancient artifacts this year. Seems the year is starting smoothly!" Professor Hecat exclaimed as she descended her stairs, her wand pulling a training dummy to the front of the class, "Now, who would like to example Incendio for the class?"
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As the class came to an end and Sofiya's classmates shuffled out of the room, she tried her best to hurry out of the room, trying to dodge-
"Good luck, Sofiya," Octavia muttered before swiftly walking past the girl, causing her brows to furrow in confusion. Just what was she wishing luck for..?
"Sofiya, wait!"
Ah.
Before Sofiya could even set one foot out the door, Sebastian caught her trying to make her escape. As she glanced over her shoulder, he seemed almost exasperated. He approached her carefully, an expression of sincerity lulling Sofiya into listening to him.
"Can we talk?" He asked. Perhaps she didn't notice it before, but now as Sebastian spoke, Sofiya noticed that his voice seemed to pitch down ever so subtly. He sounded a bit older, and even looked a bit older, as well. His shoulders broadened slightly, and it looked like he grew a few inches in height. Maybe because it's been so long since they've last seen each other that Sofiya suddenly notices all these differences.
At his words, Sofiya hesitates to speak. In all honesty, she wanted to turn away and run, and never face Sebastian again for the remainder of the year; but of course, it wasn't that easy.
"...Sure." Was all she said, walking out into the Defense Against the Dark Arts tower, Sebastian following close behind. The two walked down the nearby stairs in silence, and as they did so, Sofiya recognized that the Undercroft was just around the corner. However, instead of retreating somewhere so... Personal, she turned in the opposite direction and guided Sebastian to a secluded corner of the tower, only accompanied by a couple of paintings and candles.
The girl turned and faced the Slytherin, trying her best to disguise her anxiety with an unmoving expression.
"So... What did you want to talk about?"
"Sofiya, you know what," Sebastian spoke in a hushed tone. In Sofiya's eyes, it felt as if he was ashamed. Ashamed to speak of what happened. Was it even worth speaking to him right now?
She swallowed the lump forming in her throat, yet kept her gaze latched onto Sebastian's, "I want you to tell me, Sebastian."
A beat. With her words, Sebastian's previously hopeful expression faded slightly. He broke their eye contact, and just that was enough for Sofiya to lose some hope she was holding for him. She was starting to lose patience.
"I'm sorry we lost contact this summer, Sofiya." The boy uttered, "You don't know how badly I wanted to write to you, and-"
"Then why couldn't you, Sebastian?" The girl took a step forward, slowly losing control of the resentment burning within her, "And might I remind you, it was you who decided not to write to me. I sent an owl, and yet I received nothing for months. Months, Sebastian! Here I thought we were close!"
Sofiya felt her face burning up as she spoke, but she couldn't quite tell if it was from her bubbling anger or embarrassment for getting so riled up. Typically she wasn't one to get angry – in fact, she was the complete opposite. It was almost humiliating to get like this. She shouldn't have agreed to talk.
Sofiya looked down at the silence that followed her small outburst. Now she was the shameful one.
"I'm sorry. I've felt sorry for weeks, now." Sebastian echoed his apology.
It hurt Sofiya that all Sebastian was able to say was an apology. He gave no reason, no explanation as to why he suddenly seemed to forget about her after all the adventures they took on together. The foes they fought, the places they ventured, the laughs they shared. It made Sofiya wonder if they ever meant anything to him at all.
"If you were truly sorry, you would have sent me a letter this summer." The girl replied coldly, her eyes flipping up to meet his one final time. However, the moment she met his gaze she felt... Guilty. This was all so much more difficult than she expected it to be. Sofiya wanted to reconcile with Sebastian so terribly, for every time she looked into his eyes she returned to the riveting memories they made last year. It made her heart flutter, every muscle in her body aching to come running back to her friend.
...And yet, she couldn't.
"I can not forgive you, Sebastian. I'm sorry."
At least... Not yet. She thought.
Before Sebastian could get another word out, Sofiya turned and walked away as quickly as she could. She fled down the nearest stairwell, and although she didn't even hear Sebastian call for her, she still refused to look back.
Now that Sofiya actually spoke to Sebastian, at least a bit, she realized how angry she was. She was angry that Sebastian forgot about her, even after the awful things she did and endured just for him. Taking the Cruciatus Curse in the scriptorium, the argument he started over Lodgok, and especially attempting to use Sofiya and her magic to heal his sister.
Not only that, but Sofiya was angry at herself for being so upset, to begin with. All summer, she had felt every other emotion under the sun — sadness, grief, happiness, excitement — and yet, she never realized how angry she was. She never let it out, not even in the personal talks she would have with Poppy or Natty.
Perhaps that's why she decided to speak to Sebastian... To finally release what she was bottling up for all of the summer.