I woke up and immediately understood from the too bright light that it was late.
A glance at the alarm clock confirmed my guess; I had already lost breakfast and ten minutes later the first hour of lessons would begin. I had no desire to get up, especially that day.
I smiled looking at Louis who was still wrapped in my arms, curled up against my chest. his right arm was around my side, his hair fell forward a little and was moved slightly by his regular breathing. He looked sweet while he slept, he was serene and looked much younger.
"He's really beautiful," I found myself thinking. And it was true.
I had always valued myself and my body, I knew I was handsome. The mirror told me, my friends told me, the hundreds of girls who had never rejected me. Yet in that instant, next to that boy, I felt insignificant.
I would never have looked as good as him, I would never have his delicate features, his thin lips, his beautiful smile, his blue eyes, now closed, who knew how to enchant you at first glance and make you lose your mind and his hair that felt so soft. Suddenly I felt like touching them so I slowly approached my hand to his head. I saw it trembling, but I didn't stop, I was hypnotised. My fingers stroked his hair once, twice, three times. They were even softer than they looked. I was very nervous, but at the same time that movement reassured me. Suddenly I saw him squint and blink a couple of times. My heart skipped some beats, it was probably fear since my hand was still on his hair or maybe it was his eyes so blue, a little wet since he had just woken up, which confused me.
No, no, no, no, what was I saying? It wasn't possible, it had to be fear.
"Harry?" he murmured in a faint voice thick with sleep.
"Um... yeah?"
"What are you doing?" I realised I still hadn't removed my hand, so I tried to lie nonchalantly.
"Nothing, you had some sawdust in your hair." I moved my hand pretending to remove the non-existent sawdust, then I hurried to remove it and put it back on the bed.
"And what the fuck is sawdust doing in my hair?"
"What do I know, it must have fallen from the ceiling!"
Sawdust huh? Shit, couldn't I find a better excuse?
Suddenly Louis realised that his hand was still on mine side and jerked it back, as if he'd been burned. While his gaze fell on his watch and he realised it was late.
"Holy shit it's half past already! I can't come in halfway through class! Why the hell didn't you wake me up?"
"Hey, look, I just woke up too and then you were sleeping well..."
"Look Styles, I don't care, we're not all like you! Maybe I will go to class!"
He was back as before, if not worse. Now he was yelling at me.
"Louis..." My voice was almost a whisper.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"Why do you have to act like this? Why do you have to be like this cold? You're not like that... and you know it."
He looked at me and for a moment he seemed to struggle with himself, then I saw his shoulders relax and his frozen eyes melt. He approached me, first one step then another. He was still very stiff though and to be honest I was afraid he was going to punch me. Suddenly he threw himself into my arms, encircling my neck. After a moment of hesitation and shock he hugs me back, running my hands up and down Louis' back.
"Sorry Harry, I'm just not used to it. I'm not used to being nice and not treating people badly, I really don't give a damn about the lesson, in fact I probably would have skipped it anyway!"
I squeezed him even tighter, after all I understood.
"You're wrong about one thing though Harry... I'm just like that and I think I will ever be back to being the boy I once was."
"I'm sure you'll make it instead."
He hugged me a little more, then pulled away and smiled at me.
Without saying a word we changed and got ready for school.
We left the room when the bell rang and the corridors were overwhelmed by people coming out of the classrooms. Before we parted he grabbed me by the arm and asked me:
"Um... Harry, would you like to have dinner at my table tonight?" I looked at him for a moment with wide eyes, then nodded imperceptibly.
He seemed unsure.
"Mmm....Okay I'll go then, bye Harry."
**
"Hey Harry are you there?"
"Uh, um, yeah" I tried to answer Niall who was waving a hand in front of my face.
"It doesn't look like it to me," Zayn said confidently. Then of course intervened a worried Liam.
"Is there something worrying you Harry? It's been since the beginning of lunch that you look nervous and you haven't eaten anything yet."
To say I was nervous was an understatement. Yes it's true, I had already eaten at Louis' table, but the whole school was practically absent.
Doing it now, under everyone's eyes, it seemed to me... Strange, that's it! And it terrified and excited me at the same time. Like when you do one thing you shouldn't do and the adrenaline skyrockets. Well, that's how I felt. I still hadn't mustered up the courage to tell the guys in front of me, I feared their reaction, especially Zayn's.
"Harry?" Liam asked doubtfully. I was lost in thought again. At that point I jumped up.
"I'm fine guys, just a little tired! See you."
The boys gave me strange looks as I walked out of the cafeteria. I got to the door and couldn't help but glance at Louis' table. He was looking at me too, maybe I had done a little too much noise before. Just as his eyes met mine, they returned to the glass of Sprite he was drinking.
**
"Harry!" Niall smiled at me from the table. Ok, it was time, I could no longer back down. I smeared my best smile on my face and walked over to him.
"Hey Nialler! Guys!"
"What are you doing, don't you sit down?" Liam asked moving his chair.
"Um... not really, I promised one person I would eat with them,"
"Ah... And who is this person?" A bead of sweat furrowed my side forehead and I swallowed.
"Louis"
The reactions were instantaneous. Liam was surprised, Niall scared, but Zayn... It was his eyes I couldn't ignore despite his bent head.
"What the fuck did you say Harry?" His eyes pierced me from side to side, incinerating me. I didn't answer.
"I'm telling you again Harry, what the fuck are you talking about?"
"It's just this once, Zay! He asked me, I couldn't reject!"
"Yes you could instead, holy shit!" He slammed his fist on the table. Those at nearby tables turned, but for the rest the cafeteria was too messy to notice.
"Sorry, it's just once, It's not like I'll die!" I bit my tongue. Perhaps I shouldn't have said those words, in fact a tinge of sadness came over his angry eyes. Luckily Liam saved the day.
"Come on let him go this time, it's not forever and it's not right that we prevent him from making friends with other people!"
I gave Liam a grateful look.
"Do what you want, as long as you don't cry back to me afterwards!"
I looked him straight in the eye for a second.
"Sorry Zayn."
I turned and went to Louis' table.
I had fun with him and Josh, even though I felt three pairs of eyes piercing my back. Even some other curious people couldn't help but look at us. It was an unusual, if not absurd, sight for Louis to let someone sit at his table. I was also joking about it. In the eyes that looked at me, I saw many that held the same terror as Niall, but I didn't care. I trusted Louis, I knew he hadn't done it on purpose and that he was sorry.
"Oh, what a meal! Shall we go to our room Harry?" I smiled sincerely.
"Sure!"
Before following him Josh held me by the arm.
"Thank you Harry, thank you for not giving up on him."
He gave me a quick hug and then I hopped over to Louis.